weekends -trapped in house

[rainbow queen]

hi all

 

im feeling low

weekends seem to have gotton really bad -along with school mornings

everyweekend is the same -constant arguiug back at me when ever hes asked to do basic simple things.................

he also will now start carrying on if i mention we need to go the shop

 

i do all my food shopping in the week when hes at school-weekends visit to shop is for a paper only and now im finding that a major battle

 

in fact my cat has has done a poo and wee and my rug-i used white vinegar on it -and read on the net bicarbonate soda to get rid of the smell -thats why i wanted to nip the shop.this is 2nd time -my own fault for letting it stay in overnight-im gutted -rug is a wool one id treated myself too.

 

theres deffo a pattern to my sons behaviour -i end up putting him in his room -which he objects to -i let him stay in there while he rants-then he calms down and comes out-tells me hes calmed down ect -gos downstairs -but then it starts up again -

more often than not arguing with his younger brother

or if i ask him to do something

 

it really is getting me down -i cant even get dressed or have a shower or even get my breakfast-

in fact i cant do anything-when i attempt to do anything it all starts up again.

it makes me feel really trapped and sad that we have not much of a life .

 

sorry for ranting-its just getting at me .

i guess theres not much that can be done about it.

[pearl]

<'> for you. Have a rant any time you like.

[Bagpuss]

Huge hugs <'> <'>

[Cat]

It sounds as if school is wiping your son out and he simply can not even think about doing anything at the weekend. He needs the time to try and rebuild himself so that he can start again on Monday morning. This is not unusual sadly. The children take every piece of everything that is inside of them and use it up trying to cope in school for five days and then they are so burnt out that they are fit for nothing when the weekend arrives. He probably can not explain in words how he is feeling so every little thing overloads him and he goes into melt down. He will see everything as being pointed in his direction no matter what it is.

 

You say that you have problems with your son on school mornings is there a general problem with school that could maybe be sorted out to stop him from being so drained by it all?

 

Cat

[forbsay]

M is like this as well at the weekend. He just wants to stay in the house all the time.

 

 

Does not want to go out unless we go out in the car.

 

Forbsay

[brooke]

i have noticed just recently my son doesnt want to go to park or anywhere outside? He always says can i stay at home, but he is fine going to cinema or something inside. We have to try and get him out a bit though as he has so much energy to burn!

[curra1]

Sorry you're feeling low, RQ <'> <'> <'> .

 

It's the same with my DS so I know where you're coming from. I don't go to a battle anymore over going out with him because the arguments would be endless. It has been very hard for me but in the long run it has meant less war and more peace at home. He doesn't help with anything either and I have accepted that he's so much in need to unwind after school that even the smallest demand can trigger a meltdown . But there're a couple of things I am very firm with : my time in the bathroom, my meals and my time to sleep. It has taken him years to learn !!

 

Curra xx

[oxgirl]

So sorry it's a struggle at the mo, rainbow queen. <'>

When my lad was little, like yours, I found it really helpful to make a timetable for him for holidays and weekends and stuff. It really settled him. I'd write out a loose plan for the day, just jot down things we needed to do that day, no times or anything, as they are too hard to stick to. But, if I needed to pop to the shop, I'd give a general idea of when, say, after lunch. Just giving him some warning and putting it on the timetable so he knew what to expect that day really helped him to cope. It could be that it's the unexpectedness that troubles your lad and that, if he sees it written on the timetable and knows more or less when to expect it, he might be more able to accept it.

Take care. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[rainbow queen]

thank you for the replys everyone

 

well weekend is nearly over and ive just about survived.i guess i should lay of him a bit ,and stop nagging him into things,as you say it just makes it all a whole lot worse,i think ive had a cold coming on me this weekend so ive felt a bit weepy.i think all the christmas stuff has effected him too-and he worked really hard to do 2 performances for the christmas play-he had a line in it but hed worked himself up about it long beforehand.

 

i need to learn to relax more and chill out ...lol

[witsend]

Glad you survived the weekend. <'> to you I totally know where you're coming from on this one and it can make you feel really isolated and trapped. We used to have similar problems - still do to an extent but DS1 now old enought to be left for an hour on his own, still difficult though as that doesn't give you much time to go anywhere and I'm awlays constantly worrying about getting back.

My saving grace these days is when DS1 goes on scout/cadet camps for a night or two, even though I have the little one at home I feel a sense of freedom, but I know your son is still a little un, so I do feel for you, hang in there, it will get a bit easier in time

Luv Witsend.

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

 

 

 

My son will be 14 in January and he spends all his weeknds in underpants and a raggy dressing gown and refuses to leave the house unless its to go to the gameing shop and then he only wants to go there and moans on to return to the house immediatly afterwards................when he was younger wed have to force him to go with us because he couldnt be left alone and it was hell because he would just kick of but we had to do things and he had to come along....................luckily and i know were so lucky he can now be left home alone for two or three hours at a time and i just telephone hijm up regulary and hes fine....hes happy.were happy................when there young though youre just trapped............When my son was younger id go days weeks without leaving the house or seeing another adult for a chat through the day no one came to our house and we couldnt go anywhere eles its so so isolateing.........leads to depression in the best of us i was constantly on anti depressants.

[Flora]

I remember weekends feeling trapped oh so well and you have my heart felt sympathy <'>

 

When they were all little Bill wasn't against going out (he hates going out now) but he was such a bundle of utter chaos it was like taking a tornado with you. He used to run out into the road, break things, touch everything, leap, run, jump, fall over, talk, shout, cry, take his clothes off. If I was feeling remotely under parr I just couldn't face going anywhere and it was those times when I felt trapped. Quite often I'd end up carrying Ben and putting bill in the buggy because it was just too dangerous to let him loose. If we went to anyone's house he would empty cupboards and break ornaments and toys and it was all just so stressful.

 

It does get easier to a certain degree. I can leave Bill for up to an hour and nip to the shops. It's just hard if we want to go somewhere for the day because he can't be left too long, and he totally refuses to come

 

Flora XXX