Shoes & Socks!

[Mum2one]

Hi everyone

 

Have been a member for a while but haven't posted a message before!

 

I have a six year old son (ASD) who hates to wear shoes because it makes his socks 'play-up'. He will take his shoes off wherever and whenever he can (and his clothes given half the chance). His school are being unsympathetic to this problem and making him wear his shoes all day. He is abiding by this rule in school because he says his teacher says he has too but I am having the meltdowns before school, on the way there and quite often once he gets there but still they won't listen. He was allowed in year R and 1 to take his shoes off in the classroom and only wear them to go outside. They also remove them when he is having a meltdown so some issues with mixed messages.

 

I have a problem with his current teacher as her way of making him do what she wants him to do is by saying 'do you see any of the other children behaving/reacting like you are?'

 

Does anyone else have the sock/shoe problem - any advice would be really appreciated.

 

Thanks

 

L

[bid]

Would he be allowed to wear gym shoes or slippers in school?

 

Just wondering if they are less likely to ruck up his socks?

 

Thinner socks...less material to get bunched up?

 

Sorry if you've tried all this!

 

Welcome to the forum

 

Bid

[Karen A]

Hi Mum2one.Welcome to posting on the Forum <'> <'>

We have an ongoing problem with socks.Ben does not like to feel any bumps,lumps or edges.He spends some time getting his socks and shoes on so that they feel ok.I try to get soft socks without any seams that are big rather than too tight.It is a matter of experimenting but does help.It can be frustrating on school days as getting socks ok is not fun in the morning rush.

Does your DS have any support in school and has the class teacher had any training in ASD ? It sounds like the class teacher does not have a lot of awareness regarding ASD.

If DS is finding wearing shoes in school stressful and is beginning to be reluctant to go to school then the teacher should be making reasonable adjustments.The most likely reason for the difficulty is that it is a sensory issue..which is part of ASD.The teacher should be looking into how the problem can be resolved rather than comparing DS with other children in a way that is unhelpful.

It is far more important that DS is able to be happy and settled in school than that he keeps his shoes on all day.If he is happy to wear shoes outside then it is not a major safety issue.

If school are really bothered about bear feet for safety reasons could a compromise be reached and plimsols,slippers or trainers be used instead of school shoes inside.After all some schools used to insist that children take off outdoor shoes and use plimsols.

 

There was another thread a few weeks ago about school uniform that covered some similar issues to yours.It may be worth a look too.

 

 

If the school remove DSs shoes when he has a meltdown and he does not like shoes...it is one way to increase the probability of meltdowns.They are probably rewarding the meltdowns and making them more likely. Karen.

[Karen A]

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...&hl=uniform

This is the school uniform thread.Karen.

[morgan and alexandra]

Hi Mum2one

I had huge problems with DD about socks and shoes but mainly socks" which foot does this go on" which would cause huge meltdowns if i didn't pick the right foot. DD also won't wear a lot of clothes and will often still wear them when they are way to small. Have tried finding alternatives without much luck....

Previous school was a nightmare for DD with SENCO/Head just not getting the huge problems we were facing everyday just getting DD to school. They always said "we don't get that here" although I had observed many of DDs behaviour at school. What is your Senco like. It maybe useful to download info on sensory difficulties and show the teacher. Seeing it in black and white may change her attitude. It's just an idea, I had to do it at prev school and some people listened, others didn't.

Good luck

Helen

[Mum2one]

Have tried gym shoes but when he is on one they aren't right either. Have asked the school about wearing slippers if they really don't want him to wear no shoes but the SENCO spoke to the teacher who has said he doesn't have a problem with wearing his shoes, however C is telling me he has and he only wears them because the teacher makes him! They have said they don't want him to wear slippers as that might make him feel different to the other children and anyway we would be making a rod for our own backs for when you goes to secondary school - he is only in year 2!!!

 

I think as well as the comfort issues C is unable to do his thing of crossing and uncrossing his toes, which he permanently does when he is at home sitting down. If you haven't guessed already C loves his feet - likes nothing better than a foot massage, constantly asking us to smell his feet (yuck!) and we don't do high five in house we do foot five!!!

 

Have just heard that someone from the Specialist Teaching Service is going in to review him in March and I have a meeting with them later in the day so I think I will discuss it with them and try to get a solution. Maybe someone else pointing out that just becuase he isn't having meltdowns at school over this, it is affecting him it's just we are getting it prior to school. He has only just come off risperidone (2 weeks ago) and I really don't want a silly thing like this to cause him to to go down hill again.

 

Thanks for your replies.

[justamum]

This may or may not help why not talk to an OT about a fidget object or buy a Koosh ball.

[Cat]

Hmm it is technically still the middle of winter and I am still wearing sandals with no tights. I drive my Mum nuts and I am 50. I absolutely hate anything on my feet an always have done. So I have the utmost sympathy with your son and mine who has the same problem. My son now wears his socks inside out because he says that the seams don?t feel so bad that way. We are down to wearing only one type of sock that you can by in only one supermarket heaven help us when they change their socks for new ones. My son needs his socks to be tight if they are loose he goes mad. Yesterday we had an appointment with his Rheumatologist and she was spell bound by him and the ritual that he performs while trying to get his socks and then his shoes just right so that he can walk about in them. It took about half an hour. I told her that he has the princess and the pea syndrome which we have agreed is the problem (we try to laugh about it when we can) and to an extent it is when you think about it. Fortunately his Rhematologist is lovely and was very interest to hear from my son why he finds wearing socks and shoes so difficult. My son feels better because he knows that I hate my feet covered to and I know that I do not set a good example at all where shoes are concerned. The only time I wear shoes is when there is snow on the ground. Not much help I know.

 

Cat

[Nic m]

This has been an issue in our house, we have found socks made from bamboo to be the best. They are very soft and seem to be seamless.

good luck

nic

[Cat]

This has been an issue in our house, we have found socks made from bamboo to be the best. They are very soft and seem to be seamless.

good luck

nic

 

Any chance that you could share with us where these socks can be purchased please

 

Cat

[lynne]

My son also hates wearing socks with seams and can not stand them. Even turning them inside out means they are too uncomfortable.

 

The first thing he does when he leaves school is take off his socks and shoes.

 

He has been wearing seamless socks for years and they make a real difference.

 

Lyn

[Clare63]

Sock and shoes are a mega problem in this house, DS wears flip flops most of the time, then if he has to put shoes and socks on it takes about 1/2 hour to 40 mins, his feet have to be washed first and then socks just right.

 

Nic would love to hear more about the bamboo socks ?????

 

Sorry Mumto1 don't have any advice but know exactly where you are coming from.

 

Clare x x x

[Stella63]

Hi

 

Well I had to add my own experience of this! OJ detests socks, takes ages to get the sock just right and then when the shoe goes on, it can take half an hour to get positioning right!! He would live in flip flops if he could - gets home from school and either one or both socks are removed immediately.

 

Interestingly, my father who I now know is AS but undx'd because he is 76 and really is not interested but it now makes sense to me why he has always been such a weird father, since my mum died he has stopped wearing socks - he says they always hurt his feet and why does he need them? He stomps around in his open toed sandals all year, doesn't feel the cold so why bother!! I have now got used to it and from what I have learned about sensory processing issues, it is actually quite a normal thing! It's other peoples' interpretation of what they see that can cause the problem and now I just don't give a monkeys!!!

 

Stella xx

[Nic m]

I shall ask Hayley in the morning, she is much better at remembering these things than me, sorry.

I got some socks on a website Tchibo but they change their offers all the time.

I know the other socks we got were from a big dept store i will ask my lovely girl in the morning.

Lots of shops are starting to stock clothing made of bamboo and it is really soft.

nic

just looked on the internet and lots of places are selling them.

I have a feeling it was the shop that sells things really cheap that starts with p where we got them.

Edited February 14, 2008 by Nic m

[Nic m]

Well everyone,

I asked my lovely girl this morning, (before she even woke up properly) and got an immediate response! answer : The large dept store D*nnes.

Nic

[sueeltringham]

I didn't realise socks were such a common problem. You wouldn't believe the meltdowns we've had over socks over the last few years! For ds, the socks have to be 'right'. I think for him it's more to do with pattern (or not) -stripes, Bart Simpson, spiderman, plain for school days -but I have to be a mind reader to know which ones sometimes!!!! Solved much of it by buying loads of socks ALL the same (once I knew he would wear them). Now the main problem is that socks have to go on first when getting dressed and they have to be just 'right'. Sometimes this takes ages and we can't get any further until the socks are sorted!

 

I really do think school should be more understanding. It's not as if wearing comfortable footwear is a big issue is it? TBH, I'd rather wear comfortable and I really sympathise with your son, mum2one!

 

Sue

[oxgirl]

I once made the mistake of buying a pack of five socks with a day of the week printed on each pair, never again!! The dramas we had when it came to Saturday and Sunday and he didn't have a pair with those days written on, and when it came to washing them and the 'Tuesday' pair not being available, biiiiig meltdowns. I wouldn't mind, but they didn't even show under his trousers anyway. He insisted that he'd look 'silly' wearing Monday socks on Tuesday, though.

 

~ Mel ~

[Mum2one]

We have tried socks inside out, C choosing his own socks for school and now he wears Disney ones which are pretty much OK when he wears them at weekends but when it comes to school mornings, can we get them right? Not even close! This morning we had tantrums before school, plus screaming and rolling around the floor because the lights and telly were hurting his eyes buts that a whole other issue, and then once I dropped him at breakfast club I had them on and off numerous times trying to sort them. Left school to deal with him having a meltdown then maybe they will start to be a bit more helpful.

 

Roll on the end of today when he is on half term and we, hopefully, have some stress free mornings.

[Karen A]

Roll on the end of today when he is on half term and we, hopefully, have some stress free mornings.

 

I second that. Karen.

[JsMum]

'do you see any of the other children behaving/reacting like you are?'

 

 

J has had this said to him in year 2 and it really grates on me, I would say that it may come under discrimination too, I would write a very strong letter to your schools senco and express your thoughts, and that the way they manage him in meltdowns needs to be reconsidered too, I totally understand why they take off his shoes in a meltdown, I have to do the same, but like you have pointed out he will soon realise that a meltdown gives an instant reponce of no shoes on.

 

I would remind the school about the DDA that the school must show reasonable adjustments.

 

My son is the same in class and he has dismantled sandshoes so he didnt have to wear them, he is now allowed indoor trainers that are much better, socks are really difficult too and we too have gone throw so many different textures, he tolerates the soft cusioned type and very soft cotton feel.

 

I know we have had many battles with shoes, and then once he has a pair that he feels comfortable in trying to get him a replacement takes months and his toes are totally squashed inside, it takes a good three weeks for a new pair of shoes to be ok and then he will wear them until they are in bits again, he would prefer bare foot anyday for J it is totally sensory.

 

 

JsMum