Help and advice needed

[drift]

Hello to the warm and wise people out there!

Son Sam (7) has begun assessment procedure, seen a paed who wrote a report saying Sam shows signs of Aspergers and needs assessing further, awaiting an appointment with joint clinic but months away! His school were initially supporting us in wanting assesment but now state that he is 'absolutely fine' at school, with no problems, they wont put him on school action or school action plus so its hard to go any further as Ed psy cannot visit. Senco has done 'some testing' on Ed psys behalf. She said he was fine apart from reading and handwriting skills that are above his chronolgoical age but should be better because he is So bright and articulate! She has suggested 'boost sessions' to rectify this.

Sam is becoming increasingly stressed and anxious at home, managing to hold himself together at school. We did home ed him for a year, because he had become very ill due to stress. He has been back at school for a year. We are now feeling more and more that he cannot cope with school and we should home ed him again..BUT what happens to his assessment if we do? Will it be stopped? Can we still carry on with it?

Dont know what will happen and really hoping someone can shed some light on this for us. Im feeling very weepy and the whole household feels weighted down.

Thanks in advance

drift

[mossgrove]

I know exactly where you are coming from.

 

We have a 5 year old boy who has recently been diagnosed by a consultand pediatrician with autism and ADHD. He didn't speak until he was 3 and still has major communication issues, especially when under stress. He still does not know the name of a single other person in his class and curls up into a ball when any other child speaks to him, and has yet to learn anything at school. He only attends aftenonns with 1:1 support (Grudgingly given, but was agreed in writing by previous headmaster.) He had portage prior to schol, speech and language therapy, CAMHS complex special needs support, and went three mornings a week for several weeks to an assessment unit where they concluded that he had major attention and communication deficits and would require intensive 1:1 therapy in a special school environment if he was ever to be 'taught' anything at all. When we tried to send him full time to his mainstream school his behaviour deteriorated alarmingly and we saw some self-harming behaviours. During this period we could only getting him to school by physically dragging him there and he would frequently undress himself three or four times in the run-up to leaving the house.

 

I mention this only because his class teacher had independently reached the opinion that he was 'absoluterly fine' and suffered from nothing more than over-anxious parents. The difficulties getting him into school and the behaviours afterwards were dismissed as being a matter for the parents and not the school. The asessment that he was 'absolutley fine' appeared to be based on the fact that at school he retreated into himself and did not disrupt the class, and therefore needed no extra input. The fact that he wasn't learning anything, would not accept direction and spoke to no other children didn't seem to concern her at all.

She had not identified any special needs and recommended at least two terms of full-time education before asessing him again.

 

It sharply illustrates the lack of understanding by many professionals, especially teachers, that autistic children do not always misbehave at the time. "coping in the classroom but melting down at home" is very common and often leads to bewilderment on the part of teachers who can see no further than the fact the child appears to cope in the classroom.

 

At the end of the day, if the school haven't got a clue what they are talking about, and it sounds like they haven't, you will have to by-pass them and request an asessment of Special Educational needs yourself, which is what we are doing.

 

In order to do this you will need as much input as you can get from the 'medical' side iof the fence. If you do not have a diagnosis you need to ask for one, and you need to get any specialists who have dealt with your child on-board as you will need their support.

 

One thing you can do is speak to your GP. We are also having problems with our eldest (7, Aspergers) who is different from your child in that he is not coping at home or school. Our GP has written us a letter stating that continued full-time attendance at his current (mainstream) school will be detrimental to his mental health. We will only be sending him three days a week from now on, while his staement review is processed. We hope to have him in a special school or a dedicated autism unit in September, but there are many battles to fight before then.

 

The reason we haven't simply withdrawn him from school, which is what our gut intinct tells us to do, is that we have been advised by almost everyone that it is better to try and maintain some kind of relationship with the school while the asessment procedure is underway. If we do get a place sorted for the autumn term we will withdraw him from school until then.

 

Sorry that this has turned into a bt of a ramble, but I hope some of it has been useful!

 

Best of luch in whatever you decide to do. We know just how hard it can be!

 

 

 

 

Simon

[mossgrove]

I should have added that our eldest has full-time 1:1 support and the school were entirely supportive throughout the process. His form teacher was the same teacher we are having problems with now. Our 5 year old's needs are far more profound than out 7 year olds. The main practical difference is our eldest is very disruptive under stress and caused many 'in your face' problems, so his help was organised vey quickly. Because our 5 year old causes other pupils no problems, the school are draggin their heels every step of the way.

 

Simon

[helenl53]

Hi Guys,

 

If you remove your child from the school, then he will become de-registered and you are virtually on your own.

 

One of our parents could not bear the bullying of his child anymore last year and removed him from school. If he had got a GP to sign him off school, he would have remained on the register and therefore entitled to the benefits!!!!!! that belonging to the school could bring, such as entitlement to the equivalent of a full time education (I think it is about 25 hours tutoring equivalent) whilst out of school. Instead our parent is struggling to educate a school phobic child and the LEA smile sweetly and say "it was parents choice to remove him from the system"

 

Beware - if you read my postings - you will see what treacherous bar stewards you are dealing with.

 

Helen L

[barefoot wend]

helenl53

 

I'd really like some clarification on this doctor business. Who do you ask the doctor to write to, what should they say, how long can they sign a child off for?

 

I'd be grateful for reply as my son is having real problems at school - postings elsewhere - and I think this might be an idea whilst we're sorting through statementing process.

 

Thanks

 

Barefoot

Edited March 2, 2005 by barefoot wend

[drift]

Hi

thanks for your replies, makes me feel less alone!

I am going to make an appointment with gp tomorrow, I wont take Sam to this one though as I want to be able to really let loose! Not sure what to say, apart from Sams symptoms of stress etc... hope I get a sympathetic one.

Phoned senco today to get more of the same...she is going to check with class teacher to see if shes noticed change in behaviour and said she will phone paed, she has said this before. I know she thinks there is not a problem at all except 'well he did miss out that very essential year when you removed him from school' Yes load it all on to me She said his reading age would have been well above average if he had remained in school. No matter how many times I tell her I am not concerned with his academic stuff it always comes back to this!

Deep breath. Ill see how it goes with gp tomorrow and hopefully get him some and space to de stress, otherwise Ill do it without gp help.

Very interesting point about the de registering though. I'll bear that in mind, as I think Sam would blossom with 1.2. 1 tuition at home

than you

drift

[nellie]

Drift,

 

You have been given some good advice about de- registering.

 

Ask the school for a copy of their Criteria for Statutory Assessment, you may find that this criteria is so strict the school are having difficulty meeting it. The criteria should mention needs other than accademic. Have a look at the following, if you think your LEA's criteria is unlawful you could call IPSEA.

 

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/devon05.htm

 

Good luck

 

Nellie xx

[drift]

Thanks Nellie,

I will ask them tomorrow, I've checked out the link you gave. Very useful.

drift

[nellie]

I mention this only because his class teacher had independently reached the opinion that he was 'absoluterly fine' and suffered from nothing more than over-anxious parents. The difficulties getting him into school and the behaviours afterwards were dismissed as being a matter for the parents and not the school. The asessment that he was 'absolutley fine' appeared to be based on the fact that at school he retreated into himself and did not disrupt the class, and therefore needed no extra input. The fact that he wasn't learning anything, would not accept direction and spoke to no other children didn't seem to concern her at all.

She had not identified any special needs and recommended at least two terms of full-time education before asessing him again.

 

Simon,

 

This infuriates me Your child has complex, severe and lifelong needs. You are doing the right thing by requesting an assessment and you are obviously working the system to your advantage. Have you thought of writing to the governing body, they have a legal duty to meet your child's educational needs. It doesn't seem right that 'they' continually get away with this sort of thing.

 

Sorry for the rant

 

Nellie xx

[mossgrove]

Barefoot

 

We discussed this with our GP.

 

He needs to write a letter addressed to 'To Whom it may concern"

 

This is important, because if he wrote a letter to us, or the headmistress or any other named individual there are potential confidentiality issues if we wish to make and include copies in statement requests etc. THis doe not arise for 'To whom it may concern' letters.

 

I think we were lucky that our GP is so aware of the issues. This awareness may not be universal.

 

Simon

[barefoot wend]

Simon

 

Thanks for the info.

 

My son - like one of yours - was no trouble at school so my concerns were brushed aside. He then changed to be - like your other son - 'in your face'. School then began to sit up and take notice. It wasn't until he tried to hang himself that they finally realised how truly difficult things are for him.

 

To be honest, I'd say his school have tried very hard to help but school is a complete anathema to most of our children.

 

Barefoot

[drift]

Simon,

hope you dont mind me asking but what did he day in the letter (ish) Im not trawling for personal info, just generally! Its just if my gp is struggling to know what to say, Id love to give him some pointers!

My appointment is not until tomorrow as Ive opted to see a gp that has been supportive in the past with Sam.

I will mention the To Whom It May Concern header, thanks for that advice.

drift

[mossgrove]

I haven't read it myself yet!

 

It's all very recent, we got a phone call last night to say the letter was tready for collection, my partner will be collecting the letter on the way to work this afternoon.

 

I'll PM you tonight if I get to see it (But it willbe quite late).

 

Simon

[drift]

Thank you! I will check tonight or tomorrow morning as I have afternoon appointment with gp.

Fiona/drift