Gutted...where do we go from here????

[Deedee]

I just don't know what to do anymore...just got back from 'THE school' and its really broken my heart.

It would suit M down to the ground BUT my meeting with the Headmistress turned out to be a quick tour (15 mins)with the Secretary who is still adamant the place is full....

 

When I mentioned I know it is BUT someone I know is still starting in September(!!) she said she'll have a word with the Head but kept stating there's no room at all and not likely to be this year,next year or the year after...

 

We go to panel next Wednesday but as its an Independent School I can't see the LEA being able to coerce them into taking him and this literally leaves us with NO options now,nil,none,nada,nothing and a totally broken little boy to boot...

 

All our and his hard work over the years to get to where we are today and he's being thrown on the scrapheap at the grand old age of 9 and left to rot

I need a drink...

Edited March 13, 2008 by Deedee

[aro]

((((((((hug)))))))))) no advice, sorry, but I'll cross everything for you that this can be resolved.

 

A x

[Kinda]

Hi Deedee

 

All I can think of is that you should try and insist on a meeting with the Headmistress and state your case, don't give in be determined (but not agressive). You have nothing to lose and all to gain.

 

Don't give up, keep knocking at the door!!!

Edited March 13, 2008 by Kinda

[Deedee]

Well just when things couldn't get any worse school have avoided phoning me all day and have sent a not home to say the extra support he's had for all of ummm 10 days is now being taken away due to staffing issues

I've had such a shi**y day someones really going to get it in the neck come the morning...although as usual there is no SMT at all in tomorrow...

[Karen A]

Deedee <'> <'> .I wish I could buy you a drink....Karen.

[JsMum]

Hi I totally feel your disapointment, it must be soo frusrating to get this far with the agreement of the LEA too and then no places, many parents are finding themselves in position because quite simply the specialist services are so far and between, what about contacting NAS and seeing if there is anything a little further, even in the next county, and there is always the posssibility of Residential so he can still access the support.

 

I really hope that you can find a replacement and what about in the meantime place him on the waiting list.

 

It is very disapointing and deverstating but dont let the shoddy sen system fail your son, there must be something else available, maybe wednesday may surprise you as well, but if its still the same then there has to be another school even if its further.

 

JsMum

[Deedee]

I think what really disappoints me is the fact that due to school 'issues', for nearly 3 years next to nothing has been done for my boy despite him having a statement.Since the new Head and SENCO came things started to improve to a point where I finally started to trust the school again....

Ironically I stated to the Chair of Govs last week I was really impressed with how they were handling things.

 

I've been in this morning and tried*a bit unsuccessfully* to calmly state my point that why give him a new timetable if its all lies and been changed again.??Got to go back in before school ends this afternoon for another chat...Whilst I do understand the money issues that all schools face I'm damned if I'm going to let them poop on him from a great height all over again.

 

I'm at a loss what to do now as he needs to move school but now we have to put him through at least a 40 minute journey to get him anywhere.He is sick if he's in the car for longer than 10 minutes...so he's not going to be fit for anything once he gets there anyway,I really don't see the point in putting him through this

If we move house he'd have all that to deal with on top of the school move but we also have 2 other children still in education at a very good school who wouldn't be very impressed...

 

Homeschooling is not really an option either as he would want to spend all of his time doing 'home stuff' rather than working/learning,but it's looking more like this will really be our only option now.

[Kinda]

Hi DeeDee

 

Not necessarily related to your situation but may help with some lateral thinking for you but this am on Radio 4 (10-11 ish and you can go on the web and listen to it again) was about a woman whose son had AS. She was told her son was the only one around that area that had AS but when she had an article about her problem written in the local paper about her son a lot of other parents came out and said there child was autistic and wasn't getting the help they needed.

 

In the end and after a long journey they provided their own schooling, not suggesting that you do this but I think the moral was they never gave up knocking on the doors.

 

Sorry I hope you don't think I'm lecturing or patronising you I'm just trying to provide ideas and hope for you as you try and find a way forward that your son deserves.

[Bagpuss]

Dee dee <'>

[Clare63]

Deedee,

 

Money should not come into it, if he has a statement then the law says the statement HAS to be meet otherwise you can take them to the High Court (well your son can and he can get legal aid IYKWIM)

 

Don't give up hope Deedee and Kinda says keep knocking on the door.

 

<'>

 

Clare x x x

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Don't give up. My advice is to stick to your guns. If you believe this is the place for kiddo, then start letter writing. Phonecalls, etc are not recorded, hence reason letters are better. Try and enlist support of as many professionals as you can eg consultant, etc - just adds more 'weight'. A lot can happen between now and September - places may become available. Pester power can get you far (believe me, I know!). A phonecall every couple of weeks will do no real harm - it will show how dedicated you are to your child and will keep you at the forefront of their minds should a place become available. It's disappointing you didn't get to meet the Head. I'd ask for another meeting.

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[Deedee]

Thanks everyone I've been really down this past week and coming on here seeing your supportive messages means so much

Panel meeting is tomorrow so please keep everything crossed that we get their agreement on a move...not that there's anywhere for him to go to though!!

 

Been phoning a few more 'further afield' schools but everywhere it seems is full to bursting,so I don't really know what they CAN do?? He keeps asking me how many days 'til he leaves,we haven't said anything in front of him about a change of school but he's got it into his head now HE wants to go (and he's taking his TA with him so he reckons *bless*)

 

She has had the patience of a saint since Xmas,she has done everything in her power to help him.There's just so much 'stuff' going on at our school though,everything she does gets undermined...

[Kathryn]

Thinking of you tomorrow Deedee - I hope the decision goes in your favour.

 

K x

[westie]

Good luck for tomorrow I hope things go your way..

[Clare63]

Good luck for today Dee, thinking of you Hun and keeping everything crossed.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

[Karen A]

<'> <'> I hope today goes well Dee.Karen.

[Deedee]

Well why am I not surprised...it didn't go to panel as they didn't recieve the info from school in time

 

LEA are not answering the phone to confirm or deny this so I won't know what happened until after the weekend now..Next panel is in 2 weeks

[Kathryn]

Oh Deedee, sorry to hear this.

 

Panels!

 

A similar thing happened to us back in the past , no papers - no panel meeting and the decision I was expecting had to wait for another two weeks. They do it deliberately I'm sure.

 

K x

[Deedee]

Well I've got my second wind now...spent most of the afternoon wallowing in self pity then looked at M's face and realised I can't fail him now...soooo

I've *fortunately* got quite a few contacts..MP's,councillors,Director of our local council,to name but a few and have spent the last hour at a meeting with one of them (at which I happened to drop in an update on whats going on..) so I'm to contact one of them tomorrow with the latest happenings,they ALL know the saga...and they will bring it up at the next Education Meeting

 

 

I know we're sadly not the only ones in this position but something HAS to change...(and by nagging anyone that'll listen, it'll keep me busy while I wait for the next panel meeting)

[Flora]

Deedee <'> That's exactly what I did. In the long months going through the painfully drawn out beurocratic process of going to tribunal I used to fill in the 'dead' periods with writing to anyone and everybody MP's, local councillors, directors of LA departments, managers of LA departments, Cabinet ministers, prime ministers ... It's hardly surprising my LEA were out to lynch me!!!!

 

Keep going and don't give up.

 

Flora X

[Clare63]

Hi Dee, sorry to hear today didn't go as expected or fact happen at all

 

So good to hear you've got a 2nd wind and that fighting spirit back, you go get 'em girl !!!!!

 

Clare x x x

[Deedee]

Just a quick update...the papers have now gone completely AWOL,lost in the internal post

So to cover our butts I'm taking a copy of all I've got down there by hand tomorrow so we'll still hopefully go to panel next wednesday...she says all confidently..*whats the betting something else will go wrong*

 

Meanwhile I've had a few of my other meetings to keep me busy (residents assoc etc) at which I just so happened,not deliberately of course to bump into a few of my local councillors who I know quite well.They sooooooo made a mistake asking how the boys were but have all been filled in as to whats going on and all are eager to help

Might be of use that 3 of them are on the education committee...watch this space

 

ooh and I collared my MP in Sainsbury's mid shop poor man!!!

[Kinda]

Hi Deedee

 

Thats the spirit "up em and at them" and don't let them grind you down and don't give up!

 

Good luck.

[Clare63]

Good for you Dee, at times like this think you need all the help you can get.

 

Keep us posted.

 

Clare x x x