Do they ever start liking school

[frazzled]

DD is in Year 1 and bitterly protests school every day. She often crys at school. As she has a speech delay it is difficult getting any reasons why out of her, but having spent time in the class I suspect that the sheer hustle and bustle of a large class is the problem.

 

She has 1:1 help when needed but from an untrained aide. All her time is in a mainstream class.

 

Does this get any better with age? I wonder if she will 'grow out of it' as she is emotionally about where her speech is, about 2 years behind her peers. She doesn't socialise with the children at all.

 

I have done some home ed in the past with her and am wondering if we should go down this route again especially as her academic performance was so much better with me than at school. I can't see that the school environment will change at all.

 

Any thoughts?

[Clare63]

Oooooo I am sorry and I don't want to sound negative, but am sure others will come along with a very different aspect to this. My DS has always hated school now yr 8 , we have had to accept that he will never like going/being at school, but have to work to make it tolerable.

 

I don't know if you have a statement or not but maybe it needs a revisit to ensure all her needs are being properly meet.

 

Clare x x x x

[justamum]

My son loved school, when he had the right assistance and a teacher who REALLY understood his difficutlies...and there weren't many of them. Other than that he hated the whole experience and it has left his scared at aged 12, I am now picking up the pieces and trying to lower his stress levels.

 

School is a lonely and frightening place for those that don't fit the description for the neat little boxes they want.

[Suze]

My son was very tearful, frustrated and angry during his primary years........and we struggled daily to cope with his dislike of school..........during a bad time we did consider home ed on the recommendations of a physch , we fortunately managed to get a statement which helped a little.He is now at high school and things have improved , he has full time support in an ASD unit he still hates school but understands a little now that its a means to an end and his desire to go to agricultural college and needing qualifications helps to keep him motivated.

 

 

.............have you tried talking to school,can then give your daughter a quiet area?.........can she go into class 1st for registaration and be sitting somewhere quietly with a book while everyone else comes in?..........there are ways of schools helping are kids its just depends if they are willing to do this. best wishes suzex.

[mossgrove]

Our two eldest boys (Now 10, AS and 8 ASD) hated every mnute of mainstream school.

 

Now they are both in special school things are a lot better. Peronally I don't think mainstream is the right place forAutistic children, but others disagree.

 

Simon

[Flora]

My son never liked school. There was a time when I hoped he would grow out of it, and a time when I thought we would all just have to get used to it. Unfortunatley he didn't grow out of it and the situation just got worse the harder we tried to make him integrate. I realised a couple of years ago that I couldn't home educate him and that if he was going to have any sort of fruitful education he would have to be educated in an environment that would understand and provide for his complex needs. Hopefully I've found the solution and he is about to start at an AS specific special school after being out of school for over a year; he suffered in mainstream until he was 13, he's 14 now and I am very hopeful that this new school will be able to help him. I know some people give up on the education system all together in favour of home educating very successfully but it just wasn't an option for me.

 

I know this isn't a very encouraging reply given the young age of your child Many children on the spectrum do integrate succesfully but I think it depends on the specific difficulties and the co-morbids that an individual child may have and what is done within the school to address those needs.

 

Flora

[Janey]

Yes my son hates school and always has done too. However the intensity of his dislike does vary from teacher to teacher. This year he's got a really clued up teacher so although he still finds the work difficult he's not constantly in trouble for not understanding things, unlike last year his teacher had no idea.

 

Janey

[Caffeine Junkie]

My son was initially in a unit attached to mainstream, which he loved for nursery and reception years. When he moved into year one things started to go down hill, and he just was not coping and was unhappy. He has since moved to a 'Special School', and he has started to love school again. He is now in the right enviroment for him and his needs are being met.

[Kinda]

My own son (not severe AS) was indifferent to school until university and has now become what might be seen as a swot. Having finished a master's he is now considering doing a Phd and is currently undertaking private tuition in maths.

 

I just think he found something that he could excell at and its given him the self esteem and etc to feel part of society.

[oxgirl]

My lad never settled in mainstream. Each term we'd struggle on hoping that things would get better, but they never did. We even went part-time to see if that would help, but his day was just shorter, not happier. In the end we decided to take him out and home ed. He was at home for two years and it really helped. He's now 14 and is in an ASD Unit attached to a large mainstream secondary school. He copes a lot better now than he used to but it is still a struggle, tbh, although there are many things that he does enjoy and benefit from, namely all the science opportunities, labs and experiments, as he's very talented in science. That's the only reason we decided to put him back into school really, we didn't want him to miss out on the opportunities that a secondary school could offer that we felt we couldn't. Certainly for the primary years, though, he was much better off at home, secondary, imo, is something different.

 

Hope that things do improve for your little girl, she is very young at the mo and perhaps with more support and extra measures put in place, she might settle, I really hope so. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Valiant_Skylark]

Depends which school you can get them into?!

 

If you need to consider home-ed, there is a group online which communicates only by email and is only for people home-edding special needs children. The support is awesome. Google HE-SPECIAL-UK. Many on the list have children on the spectrum. If you are seriously considering the home-ed option, you may get a lot of help and advice there.

 

VS xx

[sueeltringham]

My son hated reception last year. The teacher hadn't got a clue (to the point of negligence) and his needs were not being met. However in year one he has two VERY understanding teachers, a very good TA who understands him really well and a statement in place. It has made such a difference, but I know that next year could be totally different (because he'll have a different teacher). I strongly believe that children need to be happy to learn, so if school was making my child so unhappy I'd have to consider other options (other schools, home-ed, etc). It's amazing what a difference specific strategies have made. Maybe you dd's aide needs to be trained, or perhaps the school should be asking for outside help, such as ed psych, or other specialist teachers, assuming she is at SA+, or she has a statement. We had to push really hard to get specific help, but it has been worth the fight.

 

Sue