Independence

[oxgirl]

We'd only done this once previously several weeks ago and I thought he might have gotten cold feet about it, but today I suggested to Jay that he pop to the shop on his own to buy himself a doughnut for his lunch. He'd just come in from chilling by the pond with his beloved snails and was in a very positive mood and he agreed cheerily. Off he went and he did brilliantly and was so confident. I was getting quite anxious 'cos he was gone longer than I'd have expected him to be and I was privately fretting and thinking of all sorts of terrible scenarios. Kept running upstairs to look out of the window to see if I could glimpse him coming round the corner. Eventually saw him coming into our road and he looked soooooooooooooo relaxed, strolling along swinging his doughnut in it's bag in a big arc and looking as if he hadn't a care in the world. When he got in I was all relaxed and nonchalent, of course. He said it was 'quite nice' and that he'd 'quite enjoyed it, sort of', so I feel really good that we've cracked this now and I can keep accidentally forgetting things and sending him over to get them for me.

 

~ Mel ~

[forbsay]

That is fab - well done to both of you.

[oxgirl]

Thanks forbsay, this would have been unthinkable a few months ago.

 

~ Mel ~

[Bard]

Thanks forbsay, this would have been unthinkable a few months ago.

 

~ Mel ~

 

I was just thinking that. Next time you're feeling a bit down, look for that post you made when he lost sight of you in the supermarket and panicked. Now look at you both! You are doing a wonderful job of supporting him towards independence, and you're managing to keep your collywobbles under control too.

I think you deserve a drink, or a doughnut, or both when you knock off tonight!

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

<'>

[llisa32]

Yey!! - great news

 

It's fantastic to hear about his becoming more and independant - gives me something to aim for

 

<'>

[KarenT]

Fabulous progress - well done to both of you!

[oxgirl]

Thanks Bard and all. <'> <'> He's been seeing a psychologist for six sessions and she did some questionnaire tests with him and he was apparently off the scale for separation anxiety, the highest score you can get at his age. She did it at the first session, about eight weeks ago and then again last week and his score did come down a bit but is still very high. Looking at him yesterday, though, it didn't seem to be a problem. Also, we were in a big supermarket on Monday and he was strolling off on his own to get carrots and going into other aisles on his own with no worries at all, whereas before he would have been stuck to my side like glue, so he's def. moved on an enormous amount. His goal now is for me to go to the supermarket and him to stay at home, so he doesn't have to come. That'll take me about an hour and at the moment, we're only up to half an hour of him staying on his own, but he wants to work up to that. He feels he's not quite ready yet, but by the Summer hols I'm hoping to go off and do the shopping while he chills at home.

 

~ Mel ~

Edited April 10, 2008 by oxgirl

[lynyona]

Thats really great you must be so pleased i would love Kieran to be able to go out to the shop for himself, but these last 8 months or so he gets reluctant to go out with anyone even.