MandyB Report post Posted June 19, 2008 Hi I'm fairly new around here but so need an outlet... Finding my 4.5 year old so difficult at the moment. He makes me madder than anyone on earth, and yet I feel so guilty that I should be feeling sorry for him and trying to understand his behaviour...when all I want to do is SHOUT STOP IT YOU'RE DRIVING ME MAD!!!! A thousand embarrassing interludes trying to encourage him to "fit in" with what the other kids are doing (before we had a clue what might be wrong), a thousand yells of frustration as he hits his brother then runs away or empties a toilet roll down the loo again, a thousand guilt trips that i'm not teaching him right... I feel resentful so often because I try to make things ok for him and yet he just behaves however the hell he feels like in the moment with no thought or consequence. I need to help him to make sense of the world but i don't have the energy day after day when nothing seems to change.... The summer is looming and I don't know how I'll cope. We're supposed to enjoy these days with our kids aren't we?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted June 19, 2008 Hi I'm fairly new around here but so need an outlet... Finding my 4.5 year old so difficult at the moment. He makes me madder than anyone on earth, and yet I feel so guilty that I should be feeling sorry for him and trying to understand his behaviour...when all I want to do is SHOUT STOP IT YOU'RE DRIVING ME MAD!!!! A thousand embarrassing interludes trying to encourage him to "fit in" with what the other kids are doing (before we had a clue what might be wrong), a thousand yells of frustration as he hits his brother then runs away or empties a toilet roll down the loo again, a thousand guilt trips that i'm not teaching him right... I feel resentful so often because I try to make things ok for him and yet he just behaves however the hell he feels like in the moment with no thought or consequence. I need to help him to make sense of the world but i don't have the energy day after day when nothing seems to change.... The summer is looming and I don't know how I'll cope. We're supposed to enjoy these days with our kids aren't we?? I was going to bed and not post any more tonight but I couldnt ignore your post because by I have been there, when J was 4 it was sooo hard, the frustration was unbearable, it was so exhausting and it was unbelievably hard because I didnt know what was going on for him at that point, he was suspected ADHD but nothing more until he started school, of which really esculated his behaviours, it was incrediably exhausting because I had to supervise his risky actions some dangerous some just plain messy that cause more tidying up, other times just plain I give up, over the years he has had assessments and recieved various degrees of support, some years still was hard but other years getting to know what was going on I started to use stratagies for Children with Learning difficulties, and started to help J, The diagnosis have helped understand J but a lot of the work comes from us the mums, support isnt easy to retreve from the services as you read on in others posts, but I have had some support and changes have happened which are positive, things have improved and its better now than when he was 4 , though we always face challenges, it will get easier as you learn more about why he blocks your toilet, why he acts the way he does, you could aproach social services now and see if there is anything available in your area for children who are going to need supervision and support because of there special needs. I know how it feels right now, desperate and in a way hopeless, coming here is a great start because others here will know what you are going throw, from there hopefully this summer wont seem so overwhelming for you, there is a whole variety of other support services I can recommend too for further information. Contact a family NAS Local NAS/ADHD/AS parent support groups Sure start Homestart your local Childrens Centres can hold information on summer activities too. Please to meet you, see you soon, night night, JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jo jones Report post Posted June 19, 2008 hi mandyb as jsmum said please find out about services that are available to you,,,we was referred to sure start to deal with behaviours with blaine who was 5 at the time ,,it was really tough and lots of people on ere understand how hard it is and can give you realistic advice we had a supernanny come to our home once a week for 6 months and she helped usloads by using different strategies to deal with the behaviours,, ie- reward charts ,golden rules and so on,,blaine is now discharged from the service even though we still have the behaviours, but we have learnt how to deal with them and also blaine is a much happier child as he understands a little more,,,i hope this helps a little jo <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted June 20, 2008 (edited) Hi Mandy, As well as what has been already said, you might find this link worth reading. Truly you need a referral to a Paediatrician that specialises in this area to be totally sure what is wrong. Just because I am posting this does not mean I'm saying this is what your child has. You really need a specialist to assist you with this. Here is the link (removed in line with forum rules & guidelines) All the best <'> <'> <'> Fran x Hi Mandy/Fran. The link was removed in line with forum guidelines. It referenced a book called 'Parenting The ADD Child' by David Pentecost, which you could find with a quick search or by PMing Fran for the direct link. BD Edited June 20, 2008 by baddad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MandyB Report post Posted June 20, 2008 Thanks guys, I really appreciate the advice and will look into getting more help... especially after another really awful day!! Thanks to JsMum especially as I saw you are leaving the site, thanks for taking the time to offer your experiences before you go and best of luck Mandy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted June 20, 2008 Thanks guys, I really appreciate the advice and will look into getting more help... especially after another really awful day!! Thanks to JsMum especially as I saw you are leaving the site, thanks for taking the time to offer your experiences before you go and best of luck Mandy J`S Mum, what have I missed, why are you leaving the site!!!!!! dont go, you give brilliant advice. Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
