Nightmare of an evening.

[JsMum]

Tonight J really was adgitated and wound up, he was partically winding me up and on occassions of me patiently trying to resolve the situatuation as soon as things calmed down he was back to been really wound up again that in the end I did get upset because I just couldnt take it anymore,

 

We both have had a really stressful week with seeing the special school and touring the country that tonight I wasnt as strong as normal and in the end I rang the duty team of social services,

 

well I wished I had not of bothered,

 

D/O simply told me to forgive my son and tuck ourselves into bed!!!

 

yes you heard me right,

 

this was when I was in floods of tears telling the Duty officer that I didnt know what else to do,

 

I told him I have forgiven my son four times already and that he wont go to bed, and how the evening had been, he totally didnt understand,

 

I told him I dont ring Duty officer to hear such a remark, and put the phone down in disgust,

 

I was then very distraught wondering what On earth am I going to do as I really felt overwelmed, and J was crying now too.

 

I rang the On duty Gp while J had a panic attack and after consoling him and getting my head together again me and the gp discussed the evening, school and what was going on at home, she was fantastic, understood, she even spoke to J and she was reasurred that the evening was calming down before departing naturally, not rushed or ignored. Thankyou GP you were so caring, see someone does care.

 

Bl***** Social Services, who needs them in a crisis!!! I give up with them, I am not using them any more!!!!!

 

JsMum

[Flora]

Hi jsmum,

 

Hope things stay settled for you now. <'>

 

I've never had any dealings with SS, but it certainly doesn't sound very helpful!

 

Hope you can get some sleep (says she who is also still awake at half past bonkers in the middle of the night!).

 

Flora XX

[hassleabe]

Tonight J really was adgitated and wound up, he was partically winding me up and on occassions of me patiently trying to resolve the situatuation as soon as things calmed down he was back to been really wound up again that in the end I did get upset because I just couldnt take it anymore,

 

We both have had a really stressful week with seeing the special school and touring the country that tonight I wasnt as strong as normal and in the end I rang the duty team of social services,

 

well I wished I had not of bothered,

 

D/O simply told me to forgive my son and tuck ourselves into bed!!!

 

yes you heard me right,

 

this was when I was in floods of tears telling the Duty officer that I didnt know what else to do,

 

I told him I have forgiven my son four times already and that he wont go to bed, and how the evening had been, he totally didnt understand,

 

I told him I dont ring Duty officer to hear such a remark, and put the phone down in disgust,

 

I was then very distraught wondering what On earth am I going to do as I really felt overwelmed, and J was crying now too.

 

I rang the On duty Gp while J had a panic attack and after consoling him and getting my head together again me and the gp discussed the evening, school and what was going on at home, she was fantastic, understood, she even spoke to J and she was reasurred that the evening was calming down before departing naturally, not rushed or ignored. Thankyou GP you were so caring, see someone does care.

 

Bl***** Social Services, who needs them in a crisis!!! I give up with them, I am not using them any more!!!!!

 

JsMum

i know how you feel i rng them in june and they told me to ignore him and not to speak to him ..i said but he is stood throwin things at me and she said turn your back on him and dont look at him and then had the nerve to say i think you need a bit of autism trainin before i slammed the phone down i asked her if she had any and her reply was well no derrrrrrrrrrrrrr a few months before they had said if i failed to ring them when he was attackin us with knives they would do us for failin to protect our other son ..

[Enid]

Yes SS really are hopeless, I have now got a worker, but have been told no funds so no help. not sure if I will be keeping the 3 hrs a week I have just got! She has only phoned me twice, and not since before the summer hols to see how things are? Hang on in there j`smum, residential school is in sight!!!! Hasslebe, hope your son is gettin on ok at his resi? <'> to you both Enid

[stressedmumto2]

J's mum I really hope you did manage to get some sleep last night and that J is calmer today. Sometimes the uncertainty can bee to much for our children and it sounds like J may be finding that a bit hard at the mo'. We have had a few days like that too, T has been refusing to go to school, gone in today thank god but has been equally just as awful at home.

 

Social services out of hours can be useless, on one occasion with my son he was going into one so I followed advice to go into another room as to not to give him any attention, my bedroom door has a small bolt on the top on the outside so that when he was younger he couldn't go in there, this particular day whilst I was sat on my bed in despair, talking to out of hours on the phone, he climbed up onto his bed (bunk beds)and bolted my door then told me he had my keys and was going to start my car up to drive away, my keys are usually kept in safe by the front door, the s/w heard all of this and told me they still couldn't send anyone out and to cal the police. I quickly called a neighbour but she wasn't at home and then called the police, by the time the police had arrived he had already let me back out of my room, but the worry at the time was incredible. On another time I called s/s and asked for the samaritans no' and was told they didn't have it. I complained about this.

 

If you are ever feeling in despair a good advice line to call is contact a family, I called them the other day and they were very good, sometimes all you need is someone to listen to you and tbh I do not think s/s are very good at this, maybe cos they gets so many calls in an evening, I don't know. On one occasion when an out of hours s/w did do a home visit he was great, but that may of been cos I had a letter prepared with a list of what my son's needs are and how he needs to be cared for and was actually going to walk away from my children that evening.

[bikemad]

Aaawww hun. <'> I have yet to hear anything remotly positive off anyone bout S/S tbh.

[Kathryn]

Thank goodness for the GP. It's a strange week for you with a lot of uncertainty and I hope when the education situation becomes clearer you'll both be less stressed.

 

Hang in there, you're doing a good job

 

<'>

 

K x

[chris54]

Hi

 

The problem you have with the SS is that the duty team are there only to respond to real life or death situations and do not have the resources to do much for "minor" problems. The DO is there to advise, coordinate and as a point of contact raver than to do anything more. I this case it sounds like what he should have done was call out the duty GP who, if needed could have called on other resources.

 

No I don't work for SS, just thought I would come to their defence.

 

Chris.

[hassleabe]

Yes SS really are hopeless, I have now got a worker, but have been told no funds so no help. not sure if I will be keeping the 3 hrs a week I have just got! She has only phoned me twice, and not since before the summer hols to see how things are? Hang on in there j`smum, residential school is in sight!!!! Hasslebe, hope your son is gettin on ok at his resi? <'> to you both Enid

he is due home tonite not looking good this week at resi he as run away three times this week and smashed the windows of the classroom so dreading this weekend

[Enid]

Hasslebe, these boys of ours, I`m going greyer by the minute. <'> <'> Enid

[JsMum]

Hi

 

The problem you have with the SS is that the duty team are there only to respond to real life or death situations and do not have the resources to do much for "minor" problems. The DO is there to advise, coordinate and as a point of contact raver than to do anything more. I this case it sounds like what he should have done was call out the duty GP who, if needed could have called on other resources.

 

No I don't work for SS, just thought I would come to their defence.

 

Chris.

 

 

 

Dont understand your point to be honest, life or death, so when Ive reached my end of teather and I cant control my son and its one in the morning and things are critical what else am I suppose to do, he had smashed up the living room and was in a total rage, I was very destressed and I had enough, life or death matters have a lead to things, I would never ever harm J and I would always ask, seek, scream for help before a disaster so reaching services like the duty officer is a preventative to Life or Death Situation, not a consequence.

 

Are you sure you dont work for SS.

 

 

I didnt find them any help, this was my situation, this was my opinion, you do not have to defend their actions, they where useless and that is that.

 

Dont worry I will not use them ever again, as I am quite capable of phoning a duty GP, what is the point of the EDT in the first place then if other people can do that, this to me is a waste of resouce if all they will do is a middle mans job.

 

The D/O made things worse not better.

 

 

JsMum

Edited September 12, 2008 by JsMum

[Enid]

J`s Mum, did GP come out, they wouldnt for me as they said only if someone was trained in restraint, in case they were injured, so at the end of the day theres just you, or the neighbours, they did give me a prescrtion for emergencys, a tranquiliser, I said are you joking how am I going to get that down him when he`s in a rage, what I need is a cattle prod, I really did say that, it was a joke before anyone decideds to report me! on the other hand I could always leave him to it and take the tranquilisers myself!!! What a nightmare for you after all the stress of this week, hope things are better. Have you heard from the school yet? <'> <'> Enid

[JsMum]

J`s Mum, did GP come out, they wouldnt for me as they said only if someone was trained in restraint, in case they were injured, so at the end of the day theres just you, or the neighbours, they did give me a prescrtion for emergencys, a tranquiliser, I said are you joking how am I going to get that down him when he`s in a rage, what I need is a cattle prod, I really did say that, it was a joke before anyone decideds to report me! on the other hand I could always leave him to it and take the tranquilisers myself!!! What a nightmare for you after all the stress of this week, hope things are better. Have you heard from the school yet? <'> <'> Enid

 

 

 

LOL, You made me laugh about you taking the Tranquillizers,

 

Funny thing is I actually removed myself away from J and put myself in his sensory room to calm down, so roles reversed there, only for him to follow me and things continued again,

 

The duty Gp PHONED Me, she was excellent and very understanding, she placed Js behaviours down to the situation with the residenital aspects, Missing me, that sort of thing, and she talked to J too, which to be honest J was brilliant, and things did get better,

 

Today we have been out all day we went for a lovely walk along the beach, the sea calmed us both down,

 

I was expecting an answer from the school today for a yes or a No, but they have not come to a decision and reconveaning on Monday,

 

Its torture, I say, would just like a yes or No. but they said the fact its not a No Is positive, but then I think to myself but what if its a No on Monday Ive been waiting all weekend to hear that!

 

so still no answer.

 

We have had a nice day today though and his sessional worker has taken J out this evening so I have a few hours to myself.

 

So guys and Gals will let you know on Monday the full decision.

 

JsMum

[Zosmum]

Hi JsMum

 

Hope things are getting better for you both

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[chris54]

Hi JsMum

 

Sorry if I upset you .I was not defending the system but the people who have to in work it. Unless, until we as a society realize that more resources are need, situations like your will continue. My point was that the DO had nothing to offer you.

[JsMum]

Hi JsMum

 

Sorry if I upset you .I was not defending the system but the people who have to in work it. Unless, until we as a society realize that more resources are need, situations like your will continue. My point was that the DO had nothing to offer you.

 

 

Thankyou for pointing that out, I kind of found your point out of true experience, im not upset as much now, sort of come tp except many of us are on our own dealing with our children and meeting some difficult challenges, tonight on the boards its clear our kids and parents need more resources.

 

Thanks for your thoughts it does help me think on the other fence.

 

JsMum

[Enid]

Oh what a nightmare, all weekend!!!! how cruel are they, how long can they take to decide for gods sake. Well just keep busy, do what ever you can to pass the time and deal with Monday when it comes. We will all on this forun be thinking of you I`m sure. it cant be no, you have come so far and fought so blumming hard, be thinking of you. <'> Enid

[hassleabe]

Hasslebe, these boys of ours, I`m going greyer by the minute. <'> <'> Enid

dont worry enid been grey for yers lol

[hassleabe]

LOL, You made me laugh about you taking the Tranquillizers,

 

Funny thing is I actually removed myself away from J and put myself in his sensory room to calm down, so roles reversed there, only for him to follow me and things continued again,

 

The duty Gp PHONED Me, she was excellent and very understanding, she placed Js behaviours down to the situation with the residenital aspects, Missing me, that sort of thing, and she talked to J too, which to be honest J was brilliant, and things did get better,

 

Today we have been out all day we went for a lovely walk along the beach, the sea calmed us both down,

 

I was expecting an answer from the school today for a yes or a No, but they have not come to a decision and reconveaning on Monday,

 

Its torture, I say, would just like a yes or No. but they said the fact its not a No Is positive, but then I think to myself but what if its a No on Monday Ive been waiting all weekend to hear that!

 

so still no answer.

 

We have had a nice day today though and his sessional worker has taken J out this evening so I have a few hours to myself.

 

So guys and Gals will let you know on Monday the full decision.

 

JsMum

glad things were better and you had a good day hope you get the news you want on monday thinkin of you xx