Help Please ASD Adult

[sundance34]

Hi I have no idea if this is the right place in the forum forgive me if its not!

 

I am a 38 year old adult and have taken two tests that seem to suggest that I could be an aspie! I have always had problems expressing my emotions and with communication diffuclties - difficulty making friends. It never occurred to me that there could be a name for my problem, and that so many other people had the same difficulties! After much research, I was going to go to my GP to see if I could get a referral for a diagnosis and see what intervention was available for me! I have a good job by all accounts and am worried that I wont be able to drive - if I am diagnosed positively! I have been driving for 10 years and wondered what the rules on this are! I would also welcome any other advice and wonder what advice people could give for someone who seems normal but has these social/communication difficulties.

 

Any Advice would be much appreciated!

[Tally]

Hi Sundance, and welcome to the forum!

 

Firstly let me reassure you that a diagnosis of AS will not result in you losing your driving licence. You are supposed to inform the DVLA if you have a diagnosis of AS, but I have never heard of anyone having their licence pulled as a result. If they have concerns, they may insist on a Dr's note to confirm that you are fit to drive. Some people with AS do have sensory issues or difficulty dealing with other drivers, but if these were a problem for you, they would have been picked up when you were learning to drive and you would know about them already. I am able to drive even though I do have visual processing issues which result in some difficulties judging distance and speed. I cope with this by being more hesitant and keeping more distance than is probably necessary, but I know of people far less competent than myself, for example, my aunt (who is otherwise completely normal and sane) will not drive anywhere she has not been before! I avoid the situations I find hard and will not attempt to drive anything other than a car or small van.

 

I am 27, and was diagnosed with AS last year. It was not an easy road and in the end an NHS diagnosis was simply not a possibility and I had to go private. The mental health system is really not aware of Asperger's at all. I was already in mental health treatment for other issues. My counsellor had not actually heard of Asperger's, and the Psychologist ruled out the possibility after I made eye contact once during our half-hour session . . . As an undiagnosed adult, I had learned methods of hiding my difficulties and to act normal, so you really do need to be assessed by someone who has some kind of clue what they are doing!

 

For now I would recommend you read up some more on Asperger's. I would recommend The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Atwood and Asperger Syndrome and Long Term Relationships by Ashley Stanford - which explains very well how AS can present in adults who have learned coping skills. If it still makes sense after some research, then the National Autistic Society may be able to offer you some advice on how to approach your GP to seek assessment.

 

Even if you are able to obtain a diagnosis, the chances of you obtaining any kind of intervention are virtually nil. You might be able to get some social skills training through the voluntary sector - the National Autistic Society are starting to set up social skills groups for teens and adults, but they are still few and far between. People on the autistic spectrum CAN learn social skills, but we often do so via different routes to non-autistic people. Traditional social skills training is often not helpful to us, because we really need to approach things from a different angle. The tips and advice I have received from other autistic adults is what has helped me more than anything else. I remember starting a new school aged 16 and my mum told me that a good way to make conversation with new people is to ask them questions about themselves. This would probably be really helpful advice for a person who is shy, but what I really needed was a list of actual questions that I could learn by heart and reel off!

 

Some people eventually decide that an official diagnosis is not necessary for them to move forward, especially since there is so little formal support available anyway. I personally felt uncomfortable seeking even informal support without an official diagnosis, so it was important for me.

 

Meeting other autistic adults was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I used to joke that I was an alien, but now I have found my fellow-aliens from Aspie-Land (Please don't be scared, I am not mad, honestly!)

[warrenpenalver]

These are extracts from the DVLA's at a glance guide to medical standards:

 

"DEVELOPMENTAL DISORDERS: includes Asperger?s Syndrome, autism, severe communication disorders and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

 

GROUP 1 ENTITLEMENT: ODL - CAR, M/CYCLE

A diagnosis of any of these conditions is not in itself a bar to licensing. Factors such as impulsivity, lack of awareness of the impact of own behaviours on self or others need to be considered."

 

GROUP 2 ENTITLEMENT: VOC ? LGV/PCV

Continuing minor symptomatology may be compatible with licensing. Cases will be considered on an individual basis."

 

Yes technically you must inform DVLA if diagnosed and may be subject to a assessment but if your safe to drive currently then realistically they are unlikely to take your license.

[alanm]

Hello and welcome to the board. I'm 37 myself, my communication difficulties have resulted that I am struggling to find a job at the moment. On a positive note I do enjoy a friendly active niche social life.

 

Alan

[sundance34]

Hi thanks for the great replies! They are very useful! If its not going to be helpful going to my GP, I may give it a miss - I am undecided and may just read the books suggested and looked down the alternative avenues given! For me a formal diagnosis is not important personally, but is it of any use or advantage at work? I have some communication diffculties with people at work where i have been misunderstood in the past. This was before I knew there was a formal name for my problem I have, let alone that other people suffered to. The only way I knew was when a dear friend of mine dared to tell me what she thought! It has been like I have been waking up ever since!

 

The problems I had at work were where I made jokes to colleagues which they did not find funny, did not tell me at the time - and when they complained - this was later taken to be bullying, in which the result was I ended up being given a formal warning. Its a long painful story and obviously a mistake I made due to my missing communication skills, lack of social imagination etc. I have been very careful since not to say anything that could be misinterpreted, and not to be fooled that my colleagues are my friends. I am very upset by this whole incident and it is something I am not very proud of! My friend says she thought a formal diagnosis may help protect me at work from non-caring people. She feels from what I have told her the people at work could be much more sympathetic to me and they are very hard. She is very kind as you all seem to be! Thanks very much!!! Before I go I would add getting a diagnosis for this reason saddens me as im concerned I would be treated too differently, ok I have challenges as Im sure everyone here does. Its very frustrating knowing what to do

[Tally]

It really depends on the kind of people you work with, and how you explain to them. It could help your managers step in before social situations go too badly wrong, but they will not be aware of everything that is going on. It might help them to view you more sympathetically if complaints do crop up. I don't know whether you would consider telling all of your colleagues. That could go either way and is something to think very carefully about.

 

If jokes have caused a problem in the past, maybe if you didn't make jokes at work, it would at least prevent something similar from happening again. Jokes are a difficult area to negotiate, and perhaps best practised only with people you know well.

[lonerangeress]

Hi I have no idea if this is the right place in the forum forgive me if its not!

 

I am a 38 year old adult and have taken two tests that seem to suggest that I could be an aspie! I have always had problems expressing my emotions and with communication diffuclties - difficulty making friends. It never occurred to me that there could be a name for my problem, and that so many other people had the same difficulties! After much research, I was going to go to my GP to see if I could get a referral for a diagnosis and see what intervention was available for me! I have a good job by all accounts and am worried that I wont be able to drive - if I am diagnosed positively! I have been driving for 10 years and wondered what the rules on this are! I would also welcome any other advice and wonder what advice people could give for someone who seems normal but has these social/communication difficulties.

 

Any Advice would be much appreciated!

 

Hi, I am just wondering what it was which made you suspect you may be aspie as I am concerned that I may have always been and nobody knew?

 

 

[Jannih]

Hi, I am just wondering what it was which made you suspect you may be aspie as I am concerned that I may have always been and nobody knew?

 

Join the club , Lonerangess. I think I might know how you feel. If like me you merged quietly into the background and was withdrawn ; not only would they not recognise you were an aspie but the chances are they didn't even know you were there ! I was so quiet , people did not bother with me because I was no trouble.

 

What about you , what are your experiences ?

 

Jannih

[Fluffy]

One of my major concerns about a formal diagnosis is job security after disclosure to colleagues. In my work environment it can only mean inevitable quick dismissal. You're lucky that you believe your employer and colleagues will be accepting and help you.

 

 

[Canopus]

One of my major concerns about a formal diagnosis is job security after disclosure to colleagues. In my work environment it can only mean inevitable quick dismissal. You're lucky that you believe your employer and colleagues will be accepting and help you.

 

What is your job?

 

It's illegal under the Disability Discrimination Act to dismiss or discriminate against people with AS.

 

http://www.aspergertechnical.org.uk/index....ge=aboutas.html

[Fluffy]

What is your job?

 

It's illegal under the Disability Discrimination Act to dismiss or discriminate against people with AS.

 

http://www.aspergertechnical.org.uk/index....ge=aboutas.html

 

 

You seriously believe an employer won't try to find a legitimate reason to boot me? If they try hard they can find a reason to fire anyone.

 

And another reason I don't want disclosure is the looks I will get; I don't anyone judging me before they even know me, I don't need anyone to pity me or be condescending.

[Mumble]

One of my major concerns about a formal diagnosis is job security after disclosure to colleagues. In my work environment it can only mean inevitable quick dismissal. You're lucky that you believe your employer and colleagues will be accepting and help you.

Do you have a diagnosis? You have said in another thread that you are autistic but this suggests you do not have a diagnosis? I'm trying to understand your point of view but the trouble is the more people hide their dx, the more it becomes something to hide as if we should be ashamed of it and the less likely people outside of autism communities are to understand. I get annoyed at people not understanding, but I can't expect them to understand if I don't give them the help to do so.

 

 

[Canopus]

You seriously believe an employer won't try to find a legitimate reason to boot me? If they try hard they can find a reason to fire anyone.

 

It appears to be a grudge or a chip on the shoulder in a similar way to that expressed towards gay people in decades gone by.

 

And another reason I don't want disclosure is the looks I will get; I don't anyone judging me before they even know me, I don't need anyone to pity me or be condescending.

 

I'm wondering whether this is paranoia. Is there anybody in your organisation that knows anything about AS? Has anybody said anything bad about people with AS on either a formal or informal basis? Does your organisation have an occupational health department? If so, you can discuss the issue in confidence without bosses or line managers being informed.

[TheNeil]

You seriously believe an employer won't try to find a legitimate reason to boot me? If they try hard they can find a reason to fire anyone.

They can't fire you. They can make life damn tough but they can't fire you. That said, if a firm ever resorted to such tactics, would you really want to work for them?

 

And another reason I don't want disclosure is the looks I will get; I don't anyone judging me before they even know me, I don't need anyone to pity me or be condescending.

In my experience you won't get 'pity'. You might get ignored, exiled, excluded etc. but 'pity' isn't something that I've ever come across. Again though, if a firm act like that, do you really want to work for them?

 

There are good firms out there though and there are good people. OK finding them isn't easy but, I feel, how you approach what you are makes a big difference. When it comes to something like AS, emphasise the positives and try to downplay the negatives. Firms who are genuine and 'decent' will respect you for that and will do everything to work with you and help you. If a firm is 'foward looking' they'll see past the 'issues' and judge you on whether you can do the job, how you are as a person etc. Any firm that doesn't have that attitude...well they're not worth losing sleep over.

 

I've worked at places where AS has been a major issue (and I was forced out). I've worked at places that have tried, but simply didn;t 'get it'. I have also worked at places that been fantastic about it - accepting me for what and who I am and doing everything to make sure that they not only get the best out of me but that I also get the best out of them.

 

[Fluffy]

Do you have a diagnosis? You have said in another thread that you are autistic but this suggests you do not have a diagnosis? I'm trying to understand your point of view but the trouble is the more people hide their dx, the more it becomes something to hide as if we should be ashamed of it and the less likely people outside of autism communities are to understand. I get annoyed at people not understanding, but I can't expect them to understand if I don't give them the help to do so.

 

More understanding? Or do you really mean more compassion? Do you want people to pity you by making them 'understand'? Because if they do thoroughly research autism but don't 'understand' then they will just think you're a socially retarded loner who should never have been hired. Do you see?

 

It appears to be a grudge or a chip on the shoulder in a similar way to that expressed towards gay people in decades gone by.

 

I don't fully understand what you're saying. Situation of homosexuals similar to autisitcs? Are you serious? One is about sexuality the other is about mental performance - need I ask which is more important in this world?

 

I'm wondering whether this is paranoia. Is there anybody in your organisation that knows anything about AS? Has anybody said anything bad about people with AS on either a formal or informal basis? Does your organisation have an occupational health department? If so, you can discuss the issue in confidence without bosses or line managers being informed.

 

No, I'm not paranoid. Your advice is dangerous. I believe that people will behave as described in my previous post.

Edited January 27, 2009 by Fluffy

[Fluffy]

They can't fire you. They can make life damn tough but they can't fire you. That said, if a firm ever resorted to such tactics, would you really want to work for them?

 

 

In my experience you won't get 'pity'. You might get ignored, exiled, excluded etc. but 'pity' isn't something that I've ever come across. Again though, if a firm act like that, do you really want to work for them?

 

There are good firms out there though and there are good people. OK finding them isn't easy but, I feel, how you approach what you are makes a big difference. When it comes to something like AS, emphasise the positives and try to downplay the negatives. Firms who are genuine and 'decent' will respect you for that and will do everything to work with you and help you. If a firm is 'foward looking' they'll see past the 'issues' and judge you on whether you can do the job, how you are as a person etc. Any firm that doesn't have that attitude...well they're not worth losing sleep over.

 

I've worked at places where AS has been a major issue (and I was forced out). I've worked at places that have tried, but simply didn;t 'get it'. I have also worked at places that been fantastic about it - accepting me for what and who I am and doing everything to make sure that they not only get the best out of me but that I also get the best out of them.

 

 

Good post.

Like you've said, the reaction from the employer varies. I'm pretty sure the reaction from my current employer would be bad.

People at work suspect something odd about me. I can see it whenever they look at me. I try to keep a low profile, and to be honest that's probably how I've managed to survive. Telling the world about my autism is unwanted attention and will result in even more weird stares and negativity towards me.

[Canopus]

More understanding? Or do you really mean more compassion? Do you want people to pity you by making them 'understand'? Because if they do thoroughly research autism but don't 'understand' then they will just think you're a socially retarded loner who should never have been hired. Do you see?

 

AS and HFA are poorly understood by many employers. Some automatically equate them to low functioning Kanner autism, whereas others think the employee is having them on by saying they are autistic because they don't exhibit the signs of low functioning Kanner autism.

 

If anyone at work needs some advice then use this

 

http://www.aspergertechnical.org.uk/index....=employers.html

 

I don't fully understand what you're saying. Situation of homosexuals similar to autisitcs? Are you serious? One is about sexuality the other is about mental performance - need I ask which is more important in this world?

 

The fact is that it is unlawful to dismiss a homosexual for their sexual orientation and it is also unlawful to dismiss someone with AS or ASD simply for having the condition or a diagnosis.

 

Like you've said, the reaction from the employer varies. I'm pretty sure the reaction from my current employer would be bad.

People at work suspect something odd about me. I can see it whenever they look at me. I try to keep a low profile, and to be honest that's probably how I've managed to survive. Telling the world about my autism is unwanted attention and will result in even more weird stares and negativity towards me.

 

Have you actually been informed that something is the matter with you or overheard comments behind your back or on the grapevine?

 

I have no idea about the size and type of company you work for. If it's some small craftman's workshop with 6 or 7 employees then it could be a culture and personality class at fault. If you work for a large multinational then it will have an occupational health department where you can discuss the issue in confidence.

[Mumble]

More understanding? Or do you really mean more compassion? Do you want people to pity you by making them 'understand'?

No, I mean understanding, that's why I used that word. True understanding would negate pity.

 

Your advice is dangerous.

As far as I could see it was an opinion giving advice based on your question. People have taken time to give these opinions and I find it quite rude that you come back with such a comment, particularly as a new member when you don't know others here.

 

[Fluffy]

AS and HFA are poorly understood by many employers. Some automatically equate them to low functioning Kanner autism, whereas others think the employee is having them on by saying they are autistic because they don't exhibit the signs of low functioning Kanner autism.

 

If anyone at work needs some advice then use this

 

http://www.aspergertechnical.org.uk/index....=employers.html

 

My comment was applicable to any form of autism. Read it again.

 

The fact is that it is unlawful to dismiss a homosexual for their sexual orientation and it is also unlawful to dismiss someone with AS or ASD simply for having the condition or a diagnosis.

 

Yes, but my point was that there is more of a reason to boot an autistic. Legality is no shield - like I said before, if an employer makes an effort they can find a legit reason to fire anyone.

 

Have you actually been informed that something is the matter with you or overheard comments behind your back or on the grapevine?

 

I have no idea about the size and type of company you work for. If it's some small craftman's workshop with 6 or 7 employees then it could be a culture and personality class at fault. If you work for a large multinational then it will have an occupational health department where you can discuss the issue in confidence.

 

Do I have to overhear someone to make my stance plausible? You think my opinion is so inferior to yours that I can't possibly be right without such evidence?

 

No, I mean understanding, that's why I used that word. True understanding would negate pity.

 

As I implied, true understanding would only mean being openly treated like a clumsy, emotionally slow aloof who was mistakenly hired. -Do you have any idea what it feels like to be treated like that every other day? It kills you inside. Right now only a few people at the organisation are treating me like that - I don't need any more to do the same.

 

As far as I could see it was an opinion giving advice based on your question. People have taken time to give these opinions and I find it quite rude that you come back with such a comment, particularly as a new member when you don't know others here.

 

With all due respect, I was accused of being paranoid but you don't highlight that as being rude. And the opinions have been somewhat one sided - i.e. stressing the good things that will happen after disclosure. Let's be honest here and consider the negatives too. Why do you think so many autistics are unemployed? Why are so many fired? If you're an employer looking to hire someone, would you hire an NT or an autistic - both can do the job equally well except one will get along better with his colleagues. There are exceptions where an autistic will be exceptional at a job, and it's here where the negatives about disclosure won't be that bad, but it's the exception.

 

[Canopus]

With all due respect, I was accused of being paranoid but you don't highlight that as being rude. And the opinions have been somewhat one sided - i.e. stressing the good things that will happen after disclosure. Let's be honest here and consider the negatives too. Why do you think so many autistics are unemployed? Why are so many fired? If you're an employer looking to hire someone, would you hire an NT or an autistic - both can do the job equally well except one will get along better with his colleagues. There are exceptions where an autistic will be exceptional at a job, and it's here where the negatives about disclosure won't be that bad, but it's the exception.

 

Does your company have an occupational health department? I don't know anything about the size of your company, what it does, and what you do.

 

[pookie170]

The level of understanding and support given to autistic people in the workplace is entirely dependant on the company/manager/H.R. team and the attitude of the people who hire you.

Fluffy, it sounds like you've had an unfortunate experience in the workplace and you have my sympathy for that. If that is the case, you were wronged, and badly.

But there ARE employers out there who have understanding, and to whom a DX of AS would not be offputting.

I know of a couple of Primary School staff, for instance, who have been open about their DX of AS/HFA and while things haven't been entirely plain sailing, they have received good support, understanding and friendship from their colleagues. This is helped majorly by the fact that most of their colleagues have been on autism training courses. One of them told me about her previous employment, some of which was awful for her, some so-so and others had been great too.....

 

There's no way on this Earth that I would ever treat anyone I met, who disclosed to me that they were autistic, in a derogatory or dismissive fashion. Its as unfair to say that all NT people,on hearing of a colleague/friends ASD status, will react cruelly an negatively as it is to say that all Autistic people will be detrimental to a workplace, and are thus best left unhired.....

I do agree that disclosing a DX might cause problems in some workplaces, but as TheNeil said, would you want to work there anyway? The only way to alter that is to try and educate employers about ASDs, then there may be more support and understanding for employees who are on the spectrum. I'm not implying everything would then be wonderful as there will always be those who treat being different in any way as something to be avoided or mocked.....

But increasing awareness would be a step in the right direction......

I would imagine that Mumble may well have an idea of how being treated differently might feel, by the way, as are many others with a DX who are members of the forum.....and those of us who have kids on the spectrum literally weep over the injustices meted to our children from various sources every time it happens, so a lot of us have a good idea of how wretched unfair treatment makes someone feel. I honestly do suffer along with my son when things are difficult for him. And I also have a fair amount of experience of people mocking my Father's disabilities when his M.S. rendered him a near-quadriplegic, so I really do have awareness of how you are being made to feel. Its wrong and it shouldn't be allowed, end of.

I hope you find employment where you are valued for being you, you sound so very unhappy with your current job....I know you're angry about how you're being made to feel, but I assure you, the big list of members you can see on this forum? Potential allies, confidantes and cyber-friends, honest.

 

Esther x

[Fluffy]

The level of understanding and support given to autistic people in the workplace is entirely dependant on the company/manager/H.R. team and the attitude of the people who hire you.

Fluffy, it sounds like you've had an unfortunate experience in the workplace and you have my sympathy for that. If that is the case, you were wronged, and badly.

But there ARE employers out there who have understanding, and to whom a DX of AS would not be offputting.

I know of a couple of Primary School staff, for instance, who have been open about their DX of AS/HFA and while things haven't been entirely plain sailing, they have received good support, understanding and friendship from their colleagues. This is helped majorly by the fact that most of their colleagues have been on autism training courses. One of them told me about her previous employment, some of which was awful for her, some so-so and others had been great too.....

 

There's no way on this Earth that I would ever treat anyone I met, who disclosed to me that they were autistic, in a derogatory or dismissive fashion. Its as unfair to say that all NT people,on hearing of a colleague/friends ASD status, will react cruelly an negatively as it is to say that all Autistic people will be detrimental to a workplace, and are thus best left unhired.....

I do agree that disclosing a DX might cause problems in some workplaces, but as TheNeil said, would you want to work there anyway? The only way to alter that is to try and educate employers about ASDs, then there may be more support and understanding for employees who are on the spectrum. I'm not implying everything would then be wonderful as there will always be those who treat being different in any way as something to be avoided or mocked.....

But increasing awareness would be a step in the right direction......

I would imagine that Mumble may well have an idea of how being treated differently might feel, by the way, as are many others with a DX who are members of the forum.....and those of us who have kids on the spectrum literally weep over the injustices meted to our children from various sources every time it happens, so a lot of us have a good idea of how wretched unfair treatment makes someone feel. I honestly do suffer along with my son when things are difficult for him. And I also have a fair amount of experience of people mocking my Father's disabilities when his M.S. rendered him a near-quadriplegic, so I really do have awareness of how you are being made to feel. Its wrong and it shouldn't be allowed, end of.

I hope you find employment where you are valued for being you, you sound so very unhappy with your current job....I know you're angry about how you're being made to feel, but I assure you, the big list of members you can see on this forum? Potential allies, confidantes and cyber-friends, honest.

 

Esther x

 

Thanks for the supportive post.

 

I don't feel wronged, in fact I feel I've let the company down. I feel I've left my self down. The employers would have every reason to get rid of me. Hell, I would get rid of me if I was in HR. I misled HR by not admitting my autism and the difficulties I would experience in the role.

 

My self esteem is at zero right now. I don't know if I should quit. What's stopping me is the salary and future professional qualifications. I make just over 33k a year having worked there about 16 months. It's amazing I've managed to survive that long. The office environment is hell, everyday is tortuous, but I survive. But if I quit then I'll just end up at home doing nothing, unlikely to get another job in the current economic climate. Even if I do get a job, then I'll probably end up experiencing the same sort of ######. You mention employers open to people on ASD, and that's great, but I doubt the jobs are well paying or really that stimulating.

 

There are jobs where people skills aren't important, but these don't take advantage of my hard earned qualifications or pay that well. Do I just give up on everything I worked so hard for, sacrifice the potential earnings and lifestyle for a life of hard labour? Is that what I can expect being on the ASD? Just another typical aspie.

 

Life with autism is a real struggle.

 

 

 

[jb1964]

You mention employers open to people on ASD, and that's great, but I doubt the jobs are well paying or really that stimulating.

 

Hi Fluffy,

 

I can see where you're coming from in how you anticipate they will react.

 

Unfortunately from what I see at the moment - employers are not open to anything - it is an employers market - they have the upper hand in choosing who they want or who they want to keep. If they unfairly dismiss someone they don't seem to care - they'll take the risk of a tribunal - which is a long hard struggle.

 

Unless you work for a multi-national company, local government, or public services etc - there are very few companies out there who are looking out for their employees - they have other priorities - cash is king and all that jargon - especially in this current climate. Even getting time off for a funeral is hard work for some yet alone expecting them to be understanding - it is one very sad world we are living in at the moment.

 

Take care,

Jb

[Fluffy]

Hi Fluffy,

 

I can see where you're coming from in how you anticipate they will react.

 

Unfortunately from what I see at the moment - employers are not open to anything - it is an employers market - they have the upper hand in choosing who they want or who they want to keep. If they unfairly dismiss someone they don't seem to care - they'll take the risk of a tribunal - which is a long hard struggle.

 

Unless you work for a multi-national company, local government, or public services etc - there are very few companies out there who are looking out for their employees - they have other priorities - cash is king and all that jargon - especially in this current climate. Even getting time off for a funeral is hard work for some yet alone expecting them to be understanding - it is one very sad world we are living in at the moment.

 

Take care,

Jb

 

 

I agree with you 100%. My employer is a multi-national company and to be fair does look after it's employees. It's not really about the company though, because a person with autism can hop to one company and another and will experience the same isolation, anxiety and depression. Yes it's hard for everyone, but much harder for people on spectrum.

Edited March 20, 2009 by Fluffy

[jb1964]

Yes it's hard for everyone, but much harder for people on spectrum.

 

Too right - when I see how hard it is to keep/get employment - these days just being shy is a disability to some employers - yet alone having complex anxieties and social difficulties etc.

 

I worry so much for my daughter - who's leaving school this year - there's a massive competition going on to get a job and the winners seem to be those that are confident rather than competent etc.

 

Take care,

Jb

[NobbyNobbs]

I don't fully understand what you're saying. Situation of homosexuals similar to autisitcs? Are you serious? One is about sexuality the other is about mental performance - need I ask which is more important in this world?

they are EXACTLY the same situation. the thought process you're going through about 'coming out' to your employer is exactly the same as the thought process that homosexuals go through. don't be so quick to dismiss others and isolate yourself from a battle that a lot of people go through for any number of reasons.

 

legally, homosexuals are protected against unfair dismissal on the grounds of their sexuality. people with a disability are protected against unfair dismissal on grounds of their disability. both can be fired for failing to complete their contracted work appropriately and that can be factually based (failing to turn in a report on time) or based on perception (you just dont seem to 'connect' with the rest of the team).

 

unless people agree with you you seem (to me at least) to be responding in an agressive way, so i'm not going to comment further, but i wanted to correct you on the false perception that what you are going through is any different to the other 1 in 100 ASD individuals, 1 in 11ish homosexuals and 1 in however many other minorities that have to choose between telling their employer and risking being penalised, not telling their employer at all and being known as 'the odd one' for no reason, and telling their employer in the hopes that they educate and improve the situation both for themselves and other people.

[alanm]

I can see where you're coming from in how you anticipate they will react. Unfortunately from what I see at the moment - employers are not open to anything - it is an employers market - they have the upper hand in choosing who they want or who they want to keep.

Hi all, just posting to say join the club. I can't add any 'advice' to the thread per se but empathising because I'm going through it too.

 

The winners seem to be those that are confident rather than competent etc.

This is the bit that really sucks, in a team where I had long term temporary work before, one colleague stuck out as someone who would be chosen over me in an interview for her apparent confidence. Yet in the team I would see her misusing the internet in work time, gossipping about celebrities and worse still, slating her own colleagues when their backs and those of supervisors were turned.

 

Now that I'm not in work, finding a new job is so difficult when "good communication skills" is plastered across job specifications left right and centre. I write covering letters to explain to employers that there would be support available to them via my local Disability Adviser at the job centre and a third party provider where I've been on a "Flexible Routeways" support programme, but it is their market at the moment and that means nothing to them when they could just choose someone else over me anyway.

Edited March 24, 2009 by alanm

[Canopus]

I worry so much for my daughter - who's leaving school this year - there's a massive competition going on to get a job and the winners seem to be those that are confident rather than competent etc.

 

This is a nuisance. Most interviewers consider eloquence and social finesse a major deciding factor when choosing the successful candidate. In a book about medical interviews it mentioned that the candidate has to act like a professional politician and advised watching the way politicians speak to a TV interviewer and taking note of the way they move their hands as they speak. The book also mentioned that these may be unnatural skills for a person who is trained as a doctor and not a politician and largely is irrelevant to practicing medicine.

 

[Lisa40]

One of my major concerns about a formal diagnosis is job security after disclosure to colleagues. In my work environment it can only mean inevitable quick dismissal. You're lucky that you believe your employer and colleagues will be accepting and help you.

Why would it mean a quick dismissal? As an HR manager I would be horrified if someone in the Company I worked for was dismissed for being diagnosed with AS, with the prospect of a disability discrimination claim and uncapped amounts I would be pretty sure that no HR person in their right mind would dismiss for a diagnosis of AS. THe duty of the employer would be to discuss what adjustments needed to be made. I notice that you said in one of your threads that an employer could find a reason to dismiss. An employer can always find a way and can to get rid of an employee BUT in some cases if they do, it will cost them. All an employee has to do is bring a grievance and use the word discrmination and disability and an employer will need to be very careful how they handle the situation. If they then get rid of an employee there is the prospect of an unfair dismissal claim against them.

 

I do think you are being rather harsh on employers. I am not saying that there are not some bad employers that don't care about the welfare of their staff, but if this was happening in our office (and not just because I have a daughter with AS so am familiar with the situation) we would be looking at reports and asking if we need to be doing anything to help. We do this for staff with physical disabilities and doing this for a staff member who is AS or ASD should be no different.