No Symptoms at school

[longmeadow]

Our eight year old is severely dyslexic, but I have put a lot of her trates on here before and been told that she is most likely to have Aspergers.

 

Terrible tantrums

Hates change

Doesn't like going on trips or to new places

Flies of the handle for the slightest reason

one on one play, walks away or gets really moody if others try to join in

Likes to lead

 

The above are a few of the problems that we have, we have seven children with no issues.

 

The problem we have is that she only shows these issues at home or when she is out with us, never at school. WHY!

 

The school say she is relaxed and happy at school, makes us feel as though we are making things up.

 

Can Aspergers present like this or are we barking up the wrong tree ?

Edited September 18, 2008 by longmeadow

[JsMum]

Some schools are very far away from spotting aspergers symptoms especially in girls, it may be your daughter is keeping it together in school a sure common thing, it may be that there is also many of the things you have said she does at home she does in fact do but with over 30 in a class its not as obvous, if a child was always happy and relaxed Id be as suspicous because even nt children have moments where they have fall outs, upset, ect so its a false comment anyway.

 

My son has Severe Dyslexia and I have friends with children with Dyslexia and most of them are HFA/AS.

 

I think the whole Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, AS, HFA, ADHD, SID ect are all over lapping and could effect children to different degrees depending which one is the most prominant.

 

How do you feel the school are supporting her Dyslexia and is she getting any extra help.?

 

You as the parent can also pass over your concerns to the SENCO that you suspect AS/HFA?

 

JsMum

[sarahponari1]

Alot of girls are very good at hiding these sorts of things at school, i was the same and i wasnt dx until i was 22!! I was always classed as shy and didnt participate in group conversations but they never thought anything of it as i always used to hide the other problems, which then showed really bad at home as i had to spend all day at school being someone that i wasnt.

[longmeadow]

Thanx for the replies, she started at this new school about 4 months ago, they are fantastic when it boils down to her Dyslexia, the help and support she is getting is brilliant, we couldn't ask for more. At her old school, she was unhappy, no support and we had to fight to get them to believe us with her Dyslexia even after paying privately to get her assessed. She is nearly nine with a reading age of 4 years 3 months.

 

When speaking to the new school the teacher said that you can't hide any form of Autism, so they would notice things in school. She did say that it should be brought up in an emergency meeting for her Dyslexia with the EP.

 

I have been doubting my thoughts and feeling embarrassed that I even mentioned it.

 

We flooded last year badly in the Gloucester floods and have lived in a touring van for a year, we have just moved back in, only to find that the house needs to be re stripped back to the bricks dried out and redone again. Our insurance company has asked us to move house, when I said to her teacher the other day that our daughter may get upset on the morning of a trip they are doing at school because she's already begging me not to let her go, she said I don't understand that because she is more than happy and settled in school, but I know that you have a lot of problems with what is going on at home so maybe that is unsettling her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

We dearly love the school and teachers at the school and feel that we have placed her in a place is good for her, but it is getting very frustrating when you feel that you are making things up.

[Cat]

Maybe you should take a copy of the following article into school and let them read it. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7616555.stm

 

It is a fact that autism is harder to spot in girls because girls are often much better at masking their autism. I would not be put off by the school. I would ask my GP for a referal to see someone who has 'specific' knowledge about autism. I say this because some professionals miss autism in girls to. You are not making this up - trust your gut. My son - yes son - was 13 before he was diagnosed but we got there in the end.

 

Cat

[Sooze2]

I could have written your post a year ago, I also think you should push for a referral too. I ended up writting a diary of things that he did every time it happened, every day there was something majour going on with him at home.

 

They also said he was totally fine at school but it wasn't the case at all.

 

Mum knows best.

[longmeadow]

thanx again

 

Will be keeping a diary from now on, wish we had started two years ago, we had banging head against walls, pulling hair out and saying she didn't;t want to live any more, hitting, punching and kicking the older children of the family.

 

One thing that we have also noticed is that if you are playing with her,and you ask her to stop, you have to get really firm with her because she wont stop.

 

On most trips home from school I come home feeling really depressed because she wont stop arguing with her sister or touching things of her sisters that causes major rowes.

 

When we have gone shopping in the past, we have sometimes taken two cars so that we can get what she needs so that my husband can whisk her home because she doesn't want to go and we no from experience that she will kick off when out.

 

When we went to get her uniform for school this time, she got really frustrated because I had to keep trying different trousers on her to get some that would fit (very hard to find). I was out in the shop, dad was in the changing room with her and she started screaming and shouting at the top of her voice with frustration, when I went in, she pushed and hit me. Needless to say, we came home with no trousers.

[longmeadow]

one more thing, she comes out of school most days saying she has stomach ache!

[jonathan]

Our eight year old is severely dyslexic, but I have put a lot of her trates on here before and been told that she is most likely to have Aspergers.

 

Terrible tantrums

Hates change

Doesn't like going on trips or to new places

Flies of the handle for the slightest reason

one on one play, walks away or gets really moody if others try to join in

Likes to lead

 

The above are a few of the problems that we have, we have seven children with no issues.

 

The problem we have is that she only shows these issues at home or when she is out with us, never at school. WHY!

 

The school say she is relaxed and happy at school, makes us feel as though we are making things up.

 

Can Aspergers present like this or are we barking up the wrong tree ?

Personally I don't think you are barking up the wrong tree! I am no expert but my son is nine and

he too is well behaved in school and has aspergers syndrome, the only symptoms that show in school is that he finds it hard to concentrate and has to have question repeated to him but at home

he has

temper tantrums

speaks his mind no matter what

only likes one friend

doesn't like change

constantly has to check things

the list is endless

try to explain to your GP that your daughter needs to be assessed at home and not in the school

and hopefully you will get the answers you need, have you thought about keeping a diary to show your G.P

Good Luck with your problem

[bikemad]

My lad apparently hardly shows any signs in school just now n again but when he does show the odd sign it is bigtime if that makes sense but as soon as he leaves school he is like the devil incarnate.

[longmeadow]

Looks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth

[longmeadow]

Very interesting !

 

I have just picked my daughter up from school, she said teacher has shouted at her twice today for being naughty. When asked did she know why she had been told off she said no. I asked her if teacher has told her off before, she said yes a lot. I wonder if they are confusing her being naughty with her problems that she has at home.

 

I asked her how she feels when she is told off by teacher, she said angry. I also asked her what she does, "my face goes red and I sit in the chair until she tells me what to do". I asked her why she doesn't have a tantrum at school and she said because it is embarrassing for people to see me doing it. What is going on?

[oxgirl]

I asked her why she doesn't have a tantrum at school and she said because it is embarrassing for people to see me doing it.

 

I was struck by this part and thought that it does seem to show that she has some control over whether she has a trantrum or not and can, therefore, control herself somewhat when she needs to. This is quite important and something that my lad hasn't learnt yet. Also, the fact that she doesn't want to embarrass herself in front of others shows a lot of self-awareness. My lad is 14 and has AS, if he is frustrated in a lesson with 30 other 14/15 year olds, he'll shout and cry and yell and says he has no control over whether he does it or not. He also has little awareness of the fact of how the others in the class see him when he behaves this way and I don't know whether he cares or not, he certainly doesn't seem to. If he wants to let rip he will and would constantly shout out in the middle of full school assemblies about how bored he was, apparently oblivious to the fact that the whole school was staring at him and showed no concern about what they might think of him. I just thought I'd point this out, as it seems quite an important aspect.

 

~ Mel ~

[lynne]

Teachers are not trained to identify ASD, Dyslexia etc so do not be worried by what the teachers say. Also alot of children can hold it together than fall apart the minute they walk out of the school door.

 

So by your feelings the majority of times they are right. Also its very interesting that your daughter does not know what she was told off for. You need to speak to the teacher about this and document it all.

 

take care

[pompomx2]

Our eight year old is severely dyslexic, but I have put a lot of her trates on here before and been told that she is most likely to have Aspergers.

 

Terrible tantrums

Hates change

Doesn't like going on trips or to new places

Flies of the handle for the slightest reason

one on one play, walks away or gets really moody if others try to join in

Likes to lead

 

The above are a few of the problems that we have, we have seven children with no issues.

 

The problem we have is that she only shows these issues at home or when she is out with us, never at school. WHY!

 

The school say she is relaxed and happy at school, makes us feel as though we are making things up.

 

Can Aspergers present like this or are we barking up the wrong tree ?

Hi my daughter is like a jekyl and hyde, angel at school and a buzzard at home! It is very common for girls to mask their issues at school and let rip at home. I too thought I was losing the plot as it's like living in a parallel universe. People say all that worrying for nothing, she's settled so well. Luckily we have an amazing teaching assistant who is pre emptying her anxiety and helping her to deal with her issues. Always remember that you are the expert on your daughter and that she most probably doesn't fit into their textbook boxes. Best of luck, girlpower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[madme]

Boys are quite different. I have one of each both dx Aspergers. My DD is 7. She is apparently fine no problems in lessons but her after school club find her more hyper and so do we. I think it is more subtle but that doesnt mean that it doesnt have an impact. My daughter can be quite aware in school and stops herself but at home we have the tantrums etc. If told off in school she will became very quiet and quite like your daughter - storing it all up until she gets home and then moans about how unfair this and that is and that. She is the class policewoman. Because of our son I was more aware but still put my head in the sand but a kind paediatrician made me realise that some of her behaviours were not normal. Go with your gut instincts. Lots of schools also deny problems where there are no serious behaviour issues in school. There is a good book called Martian in the Playground and also another Pretending to be Normal. I found these helpful. Also Tony Attwood's most recent book has a section about Girls. I think that my DD will become more obvious as she hits puberty. I find the shops the worst place to go with her as she has SID and has very little patience. Can't see long mother daughter shopping trips in the future! On the plus side she is extremely intelligent, has a quirky sense of humour, can be very loving in her own way. I wouldn't take away the Aspergers if it was possible as it does make her what she is.

Edited September 22, 2008 by madme