Child in Need Meeting with SS!!

[Stella63]

Hi,

 

Well, SS really pulled out all the stops (I don't think!).

 

After realising that AJ was assessed last december as a child in need and required imediate assistance with education, support for chalenging behaviour, a multi agency plan and regular respite for us (none of which happened) they put this meeting together yesterday. The duty manager had phoned me and said they would like names and addresses of school, police and his private psychiatrist which I gave her and I then found out that no one had received an invitation! I organised for the deputy head of school to come, I spoke to the police and bless them they turned up anyway without their invitation. It was too late for the psychiatrist but he wrote an in depth report for me to take. SS were supposed to invit HOPE which are an alternative to school and can provide a range of services, but they didn't!!

 

So, after going through the catalogue of events that have happened since december they turned round and said well what do you want us to do? You are obviously coping!!!!

 

The school and the youth justice people were brilliant and apparently myself and DH put up a good argument so the result is that they are going to put together another plan concentrating on education and respite. We have said it is up to them to find somewhere for him to go full time until next June when he can legally leave school. It hasn't worked reducing his timetable at school cos he is still bunking off and choosing when to go in and when he isn't there he's getting drawn deeper into whatever illegal activities with all the other losers who are wandering about. And of course he has access to the house when we're at work which is such a worry as he steals.

 

I think the difference now is that I have a better understanding of how SS operate and this time I am going to keep on their backs the whole time!! Keep bombarding them with calls to make sure that things do happen.

 

I will write more about this but I am just too tired now - need to recharge the batteries (if I get the chance!)

 

Waiting to hear how Enid got on today too.

 

Stella xx

 

 

[Enid]

Hi Stella, Its on Monday, similar meeting, couldnt get him to school today tho, and had a terrible time last night, was too shell shocked to post. bit quieter tonight, so am hoping to god he goes to school monday so I can attend meeting, its at 10.30, I asked SW who was taking the minutes, she said, oh, I hadnt thought of that Am really gunning for a particular boarding school, its seems its the same one as a few others on here, wont mention the name of it, but how I would get him to go is another matter. will keep you posted. Enid

[JsMum]

Hi Stella, Its on Monday, similar meeting, couldnt get him to school today tho, and had a terrible time last night, was too shell shocked to post. bit quieter tonight, so am hoping to god he goes to school monday so I can attend meeting, its at 10.30, I asked SW who was taking the minutes, she said, oh, I hadnt thought of that Am really gunning for a particular boarding school, its seems its the same one as a few others on here, wont mention the name of it, but how I would get him to go is another matter. will keep you posted. Enid

 

 

 

Hi ENid sorry your having a bad time, too, just aim for that meeting on monday, take him to the meeting if it comes to it, it sounds like a priority, I often went to meeting with J in tow, so dont worry, fight first for the placement then when things get moving with the placement(when you win) then tackle the getting him to residential school issues, right now it sounds like his priority is getting him in the right school.

 

You do know the Local authority will probably say no, if thats the case, appeal.

 

Good Luck

 

JsMum

 

[Enid]

Thanks J`s mum, Its just all so wearing! fighting all the time, he hates the school he`s at now, so I can go from that angle, I know its the right thing so got to grit my teeth and fight! will let you all no. <'> Enid

[JsMum]

Thanks J`s mum, Its just all so wearing! fighting all the time, he hates the school he`s at now, so I can go from that angle, I know its the right thing so got to grit my teeth and fight! will let you all no. <'> Enid

 

 

 

The problem with children like mine and possibly yours is they hate the SCHOOL bit, it doesnt really matter what it is at the end of the day, they are not naturally ment to like it, Im sure Js going to find days at his special school where he cant stand the place, but its going to provide him specialist support in his needs, An Just EBD school cant provide the specialist support your son requires, school full stop though for the average teen is I hate it.

 

What you need to focus on is where his needs are not been met and why a more spersific school is required.

 

JsMum

 

[Kazzen161]

Most independent schools will not offer a child a place if he does not want to go there. Luckily most specialist schools are so much better for our children that they do want to go.

 

My eldest never really liked the academic bit, but he did tolerate it at the specialist school (he loves his specialist college where everything is practical and there is no writing!). He did like having friends and doing all the out-of-school things. Such schools are able to be more consistent about routines and behaviour management, etc - so our children are happier.

 

If you can find the right school for your child, things can get easier.

 

 

[stressedmumto2]

<'> <'> Stella your son sounds very much like mine!! I'm sorry your meeting didn't go to plan, if you were at the meeting yourself would it be possible for you to write your account of what was discussed and then cc a copy of that letter to everyone who was meant to be at that meeting and ask for another meeting so that everyone can give their view.

 

It always used to be the way with many of the multi-agency meetings which have been held for my son that the main supportive people of a residential placement for my son were never invited to attend the meetings, then when I recieved the minutes from the meetings, the wording was always selective as to what was put in them, lol. Very very sneaky indeed, but it does get tiring having to write everything down and often at meetings even I forget to take a pen along and take my own notes, you can of course always request at the begining of a meeting to take in a recording device and say you will send them a recording of the meeting, which is very handy if you find at meetings you tend to get bullied.

 

It does sound like the youth justice people are quite good though so keep them on side.

 

Enid good luck with your meeting, I hope for you things go well, remember to doccument things that are said and if need be take your son, i've had to take mine before. The social worker said before one meeting that it would go ahead without me, I replied no it wont so she said they would cancel it. This was 20 minutes before start time. I took him along and said my boyfriend would be along to look after him (little white lie!!) They found someone to look after him then about half way through he come into the meeting, it was actually quite good as he was able to say what he liked didn't like, but again none of it was doccumented.

 

Keep going for what you feel is the right placement, but do not get your hopes up, i've found that s/s have so many times got my hopes up by saying they were holding this meeting and that kind of meeting and going along with me that if education said he needed a resi placement they would support it, then they dash my hopes by offering me a children's home, just when I think they are begining to support a resi placement. Good luck for the meeting <'> <'>

 

[Enid]

Stressed Mum, have meeting tomorrow so quick question! The school I am going for, sounds ideal, but if I go for a 52 wk placement, obviously he can come home weekend/hols ,but I will have the back up of knowing he can stay if things are bad, this will be classed as a "childrens home" but if I ask for 38 wks I will have to cope alone all the hols, is this what you mean when you say they keep offering a childrens home as opposed to resi, hope this makes sense, I`m waffling a bit!! <'> Enid

[stressedmumto2]

Hi Enid, no this is not what s/s meant by children's home in relation to my son, they meant one of their children's homes which would not be appropriate as it wouldn't be asd specific. I think if you go for 52 week placement that means the child can still come home at weekends but often the child will come home every other weekend with that specific school, have you spoken to the school about this?? and I think the children are intended to stay their during the holidays, although I am not completely sure, it may be worth you checking with the school.

 

Good luck for tomorrow <'>

[Kazzen161]

If SS and LA are paying for a 52 week placement, they would not be expecting the child to come home too often. They are paying thousands for the place, which includes money for staff/activities/food etc for weekends and holidays, so it would not be a good use of money.

 

Some termly boarding schools, only expect them to come home every three weeks or only at half-terms/end of terms. One school I visited said anymore often than every three weeks disrupted the child's routine too much.

 

You also have to consider the transport issues - the LA is unlikely to pay for a taxi if they are already paying the costs for the child to be at the school when they are home.

 

[Enid]

good points both of you, thanks. will add to my lists fot meeting <'> Enid