Toilet Training

[Lynden]

Logan is 5 past August and still in nappies. About 6 months ago maybe he started coming occasionally when he was dirty with a nappy. It only happened once in a while. For the past couple months he's been coming fairly consistently with a nappy when he's dirty, though not when he's wet. the past few days he's been kind of patting his bottom before he's going to go then coming for a change.

 

I assume this is because he's recognising that he needs to go (or that something is happening).

 

He doesn't seem to have any recognition of when he's wet though.

 

Can I ask how toilet training or recognition happened for your kids - or even if it did. I have no intentions of attempting to toilet train Logan yet as he's obviously not ready, but I guess its the start of the process.

 

Lynne x

[mummy]

Sorry I haven't been on here for a while and only just found this.

My eldest (AS) was out of nappies during the day at four but not reliably dry til 5. He finally became dry at night at 12.

Youngest (ADHD APD) dry during the day at 20 months but still unreliable at night aged 13.

 

It's great that your little one is recognising when he is soiled. My advice would be this.

take him out of nappies - madern nappies are so good at 'locking away moisture' that the toddler feels no discomfort at all when he is wet, and therefore may not even realise!

If you don't feel he is quite ready to come out then try using a well known brand of washables - although comfy they don't draw water away as well as disposables so the child is more likely to feel being wet and dislike it.

 

Mummy x

[chris54]

Following on from the "Feeling wet "thing.

I have heard about this but never used it.

What you do is put some kitchen towel inside the disposable, like a liner. Theory is that you have advantage of disposable but keeps wet feeling against skin.

[baileyj]

Max, now 8, came out of day nappies when he was 5 and night nappies when he was 7. We waited until we thought he might be aware, which is difficult as they don't always know, or know how to tell you. We were advised to start all nappie changing in the bathroom, so it could be associated with going to the toilet (no mean feat in our tiny loo!), then when it got to Summer let him run round the garden with no bottoms on, so he got used to tinkling, seeing it happen and get used to the feelings, next we moved onto the potty, initially had potties in every room, so he could go easily, then moved on to just 1 potty bringing it to him, next taking him and the potty to the bathroom, again to start associating going to the loo with the bathroom, and finally moving on to using the loo.

 

We found there were 2 very different issues, firstly the fact that he knew he needed to go to the loo, but secondly and the bigger problem, not letting him wear nappies. It was the one most constant thing in his life, something he'd always had, and in the end we felt it was more a case of him not wanting to let go of the nappies rather than not knowing he needed the loo or had control. Eventually it was cold turkey on the nappies, and he realised we weren't going to give in. We had to be tough, but it was worth it, you do need to be sure they are ready for that though. That then led to cold turkey with the potty, again he started to want that rather than the loo.

 

The whole process for day nappies took about a year, so it does need patience. At the end of the day we felt it didn't matter how long it took as long as Max was OK.

 

Night nappies different ball game really, a quicker process, as Max much older and understanding, it was more of a reassurance thing. We planned when we would start, did a picture story, kept a mini potty/toilet in his bedroom for re-assurance, put a rubber backed sheet on the bed, and gave it a try expecting nightmares, but it sent very straightforward and he was dry within days.

 

There are no hard and fast rules for this, no exact age, just when your all ready, and keep gently trying, if at first it doesnt happen, just stop, leave it for a few months and try again later.

 

Good luck

 

Jo

[Shaunsmum]

Following on from the "Feeling wet "thing.

I have heard about this but never used it.

What you do is put some kitchen towel inside the disposable, like a liner. Theory is that you have advantage of disposable but keeps wet feeling against skin.

 

Someone said to me a friend of theirs put pants on under the nappy so they could feel what it was like, it was a lot of washing to start with but they eventually took the nappy away altogether. The kitchen towel would be a lot easier tho, no washing lol

 

I'm also having problems getting Shaun out of nappies and into pants, I think with him it's the change rather than he's not ready.

[Mandapanda]

With my eldest son, my friends all said "he'll do it when he's ready, he'll let you know". This may well be true of some children but not mine! It got to the stage where I was leaving Mj as long as possible, till his nappy was leaking everywhere, thinking he wouldn't want to be like that and would 'make some effort'. Of course he was warm and cosy and couldn't care less. Funny enough he was dry at night by this time. When he was nearly 3 I had my second son and ended up with 5 weeks to toilet train Mj. It seemed like everytime I sat down to breastfeed, Mj would sit on the potty and (as I saw it at the time!) deliberately wee'd over the edge. I was despairing so got a book from library which said to keep calm (!), not make a fuss when wrong thing happens - just sort it out, then praise when right thing happens. It did work even with juggling new baby. Mj went to playgroup trained, however I received a snotty letter after some time stating that he should not attend in 'nappies' and he needed toilet training. I replied pointing out that he was only wearing pull-ups to give him confidence, and if they cared to check anytime they would see he never actually used them. I did get a begrudging apology.

My younger son was dry early in the day but we had terrible probs with cleanness and nightime bedwetting. He wouldn't go on the toilet for a long time, then he wouldn't go in his nappy either. He would hang on for days and it was very distressing for us all. He ended up in hospital once due to constipation making him faint and be sick. He had to take lactulose all the time, which I had to hide in his drink. That was OK while he was on orange juice but then he decided he would only drink water - hard to hide anything in that! We moved when he just turned 6. The new house had horrid wooden toilet seats so we replaced them. It was a miracle (nearly). He was so proud to be the first one to use the new toilet seat and from then on he would go, albeit only at bedtime (even if he'd been desperate all day), and it would take him ages. This improved as time went by. He was still wetting the bed aged 7 - he would just sleep through it and not even wake up when wet through. When I woke him and we had to clean him up, change pyjamas, change the bed, he hated it and got very cold and miserable. I tried waking him before we went to bed to go, but he would still wet the bed! Eventually he just got it into his head he wanted to be dry at night and after a couple of false starts he did it. He managed to wake up and go. In hindsight that may well have been the start of his sleeping probs, but you can't have everything!

With my boys I have found they will eventually do everything, just later than other kids and often with a lot more fuss. Good luck. <'>

[Paula]

My son now 15 was out of nappies during the day at around five but wasnt dry at night untill he was almost 10 even then if under the weather hed occasionally wet the bed.

 

 

When i was toilet training my son i just took his nappies of so he could reconsie he was wet.It meant a lot of washing hed go through every item of clothes a day due to wetting them but it worked in the end .It took around two months for him to go to the toilet.

 

 

The biggest issue i had with him was waiting till the last moment to go to the toilet hed sit ther wriggleing round uncomfy desperate for a pee but refuseing to go then hed have to run to the loo.Even now at 15 he sists till the last minut.perhaps the need to pee has to be fealt realy bad ly before the desire to go or reconise the signal kicks in.........who knows.

 

 

 

Wed major problems though when it came to him going to the loo to do a poo.He was so contispated his stomach was all bloated......sometimes hed sit on the loo for two houres and refuse to poo hed go weeks and weeks and suffered awfull leakage.............he was under a peadiotrician who in the end gave hi m some supostitarys that basically contracted the bowel so he had to go to the loo weather he liked it or not

 

 

Its taken till the age of 15 to have him use the toilet correcty for both purposes and be dry consitanty all night.....

 

 

He has a fear of toilet paper though...........too long a story to go into ..he wont touch the stuff so after years of trying to get him to use it to wipe his own bottom but failing hed literally scream the place down he now uses a sponge.it works for him and means hes clean.

 

They all get ther in the end it just takes time.

[westie]

www.eric.org.uk is a useful site to look at regarding these issues. Someone told me about this ages ago, but I assumed it was just relating to bladder control, but checked it out and there is useful advice (and leaflets) about constipation etc which I found useful.

[Squirrel]

Thanks for this thread, folks.

 

Robin has visited the potty, for stories and pleasant chatting time, at all suitable times of day since he was 18 months old ..... he's had various reward schemes for 'something in the potty' which he has liked and been enthusiastic about - but basically no sensation of needing to go and - until recently - very rarely the sensation of needing a nappy change. We have tried pants on a number of pccasions when he wanted to but with no success - he didn't even register when they were wet or soiled until it got to his trousers, where he could feel it ...

 

He is now very nearly 4 and has started to ask for nappy changes - yeah!

He has also started to say, on some days, when 'pee pee coming' or 'I think I need to poo' and we have had some entertaining sprints to the potty where we are usually far too late. Interesting enough, poo wise, the poo hasn't come in nappy or in potty for about three of these trips (within an hour or so) until it has finally happened in the nappy.

 

He is getting coins for his 'saving up pot' whenever he does do something in the potty, and - if nothing else - this does make him willing to try. He almost always gets the first pee of the day into the potty.

 

A slight problem is that the potties are now getting a little small for him and he is sometimes getting pins and needles from them. We are having to restrict him to one story to help with this. We have also found the travel potty - which I unearthed recently and haven't got from the bathroom into the back of the car yet - to have a bigger seat, the seat is one of those that can clip onto a toilet so it is larger and vinyl padded as well.

 

I don't regret taking him to the potty whenever he has woken up, and after each meal or snack (a slight delay, until others have finished and the table has been cleared, about 1o mins?) since 18 months because at least it is a habit and it is an act that is part of ordinary every day life. At risk of TMI but we sit there, me on the toilet, baby brother in the carseat, and Robin on the potty and have a story together for 5 to 10 mins. It's not a bad little ritual as these things go! I, of course am often off the toilet and rinsing through food-stained bibs or other laundry whilst waiting for RObin to finish 'trying' but hey - that gets those jobs done as well!

 

You have both scared me (5 years, 7 years) and given me hope!

Helen