annoying mother

[NobbyNobbs]

i pay 2 bills on my own (i live with my parents). i always put these bills in the same place in the house and pay them on the same day each month so that i can be sure to remember what i need to do and when. this system has worked perfectly for 10 months, with no missed or late payments.

 

my mother is now insisting i put the bills into a folder or my bedroom as soon as i get them because she doesn't want them visible if we have guests (i used to put them next to my dads bills on the breakfast counter). my fathers bills are now in a plastic folder in the same place. she has told me i can only put them back on the counter if i put them in the folder with my fathers.

i dont want to put them in with other bills. 1) i need to remember to pay them, not my dad, and they have a lot of bills and 2) its none of their business what those bills say.

 

i know if i put them anywhere else, especially hidden in a folder or my bedroom i will forget to pay them or lose them. she wont listen when i explain this, she just says she's not having them there. my parents are terrible at paying bills. they always miss some or pay them late. i dont want to be like that but i'm not sure she understands its important that i dont lose the bills

 

am i being unreasonable and stuck in routine that i just want my two bills to stay where i know i will remember to pay them?

 

they are only two bits of paper and on average are probably only sitting there for about 10 days a month between them. should i give up and move tem, i've just discovered one she'd already put somewhere else that i was waiting to arrive in the post! i haven't missed the payment date but by my rules it should have been paid on the 30th december!

 

they say they want me to learn responsibility, but wont accept what i need in order to do this

 

 

Edited January 8, 2009 by NobbyNobbs

[Moll]

Can you not buy a cork notice board for the bedroom wall and pin these to it, I had a notice board on my wall for years it was by the door and I used to check it each time I left the room.

 

It also ment if my parents wanted to leave me a message the pinned it to it, if post arrived while out it was pinned by mam or dad.

 

I also put the TV licence on it as I had a TV they didn't so if the van called they knew where it was it also had emergancy numbers incase I needed to contact people incase of illness or they needed to call my friends if I was out (pre days of mobile phones)

[bid]

TBH, Nobby, I think it's fair for your mum to want you to keep your bills in your room...whether you put them in a folder should be up to you. If they are in your room then no one can move them by mistake, etc.

 

I'm sure you'd soon get used to a new routine

 

I think Moll's idea of a notice board in your room is a good idea.

 

Bid

[Mumble]

Yes, you are being a bit unreasonable as it's not actually your house. The notice board idea is excellent - it's what I do and a common strategy for individuals with ASDs who have difficulties in this area. There are also other options: a)pay them as soon as they arrive then you don't have to worry about forgetting or b)set up a direct debit or standing order to pay them then you never have to worry, just check occasionally that all's OK.

 

[warrenpenalver]

try setting up an alarm on your computer to bring up a note on the right days/times. Dead easy to do if you use MS Outlook or similar email programs.

[chris54]

I afraid I'm with your mum on this one.

 

When I was younger and living at home if I had left anything "out", I would never have seen it again. Not my mum or dad just every one else coming and going. It was like Piccadilly circus at times.

[Mumble]

WARNING!!!

It was like Piccadilly circus at times.

Sorry this has been bugging me pretty much since I moved to London - why do people use Piccadilly Circus to explain busy areas with multiple comings and goings? There are far busier, more confusing junctions in London and I'm sure across the UK. Piccadilly Circus actually has a fairly simplistic traffic system allowing each road to merge in order - it's slow which results in frustrated pedestrians running across the road without the green man (and presumably with their eyes closed ) but very systematic.

[chris54]

WARNING!!!

 

 

 

Sorry this has been bugging me pretty much since I moved to London - why do people use Piccadilly Circus to explain busy areas with multiple comings and goings? There are far busier, more confusing junctions in London and I'm sure across the UK. Piccadilly Circus actually has a fairly simplistic traffic system allowing each road to merge in order - it's slow which results in frustrated pedestrians running across the road without the green man (and presumably with their eyes closed ) but very systematic.

 

 

The saying goes back to the early 1900s or earlier, it was a circus, a sort of roundabout but traffic, trams, horse and carts , cars all went which way they liked and at that time it was probably one of the most congested junctions in the country. No traffic lights in them days.

 

And there was a lot more through traffic than now, before the north circular road, the south circular road and later the M25.

Even when I worked in that part of London in the 70s with the old layout it it seemed a lot more congested than it is now.

 

[Mumble]

The saying goes back to the early 1900s or earlier, it was a circus, a sort of roundabout but traffic, trams, horse and carts , cars all went which way they liked and at that time it was probably one of the most congested junctions in the country. No traffic lights in them days.

 

And there was a lot more through traffic than now, before the north circular road, the south circular road and later the M25.

Even when I worked in that part of London in the 70s with the old layout it it seemed a lot more congested than it is now.

Thanks It's odd to think that previously something was more congested than it is now Thinking about that area without traffic lights and systemisation - yeuck!!! :lol:

 

[Tally]

A notice board or folder in your bedroom would be a good idea to help you remember. However, if your parents are going to take your bills and hide them from you, it is not going to be possible. Maybe you could have a folder on the front of your bedroom door for your mother to put your post if she does not want it lying around the house.

[something_different]

i would agree, stick them up on a wall in ur room.

 

thats the only 'safe' place in my house where i know ppl are not gonna move anything, or that i am not going to end up loosing it. My 'safe' places are always too safe!

 

lol Mumble up here we say its like Sauchiehall St, rather than Picadilly Circus

[CEJesson]

I put everything in a certain box underneath my bed. EVERYTHING financial must go in this box otherwise I am worried sick.

 

Worried sick now even, because I've left the box at home in Lincs and Im now back in Sheffield!

 

You're mum is either concerned that this information is open for everyone to read or is not ordered right, but you have your own order and if it works for you without much hassle to others then it should continue that way!

Edited January 10, 2009 by CEJesson

[ian stuart-hamilton]

With regard to the origin of the name 'Piccadilly Circus'. The general area became known as Piccadilly in the 17th century. A clothes manufacturer became rich making piccadils (elaborate starched collars that were very fashionable at the time) and with his money he bought a plot of land in the area. His land became unofficially known as Piccadilly, and gradually the name became applied to the whole area. In the 19th century, what we now know as Piccadilly Circus was built. Originally it was a junction for several important roads, surrounded by a circular pattern of buildings. The circular pattern of buildings reminded the architects of the ancient roman circuses (i.e. the big stadiums where they held gladiator fights, like the Colisseum in Rome). And so they called the junction Piccadilly Circus. There are other circuses in London (e.g. Oxford Circus) and elsewhere in the UK. Nearly always they are so called because the junctions are similarly surrounded by a circular pattern of buildings.

 

However, why is that it's Piccadilly Circus which is used to indicate a lot of confusion and activity and not the other circuses? The reason is probably because in addition to having a lot of traffic, Piccadilly Circus also had a large number of illuminated advertising boards so in addition to all the traffic, at night there were lots of coloured flashing lights. And visitors to London also probably went to Piccadilly Circus more than other circuses because it's at the centre of the theatre district in London. So Piccadilly Circus became well known for its vast quantity of traffic, tourists not sure where they were going and getting in other people's way, and all accompanied by multicoloured flashing lights. Hence why after a while if someone said that something's as chaotic as Piccadilly Circus, anyone reasonably familiar with London would know what it was like. From there the phrase spread so that eventually people understood 'it's just like Piccadilly Circus' to mean anything that's busy and chaotic, even if they'd never experienced what the real Piccadilly Circus was like.

 

Incidentally, Piccadilly Circus is no longer totally surrounded by a circular pattern of buildings (various bits of the Circus were rebuilt over the years) but the name has stuck. Also, the number of illuminated signs has decreased in recent years.

Edited January 11, 2009 by ian stuart-hamilton