Offensive women in street

[warrenpenalver]

I was walking down the street today on the way back from college going home. I was minding my own business when two teenagers (god knows what age, could be from 12-19 and you couldnt tell the difference with make up etc) walked by and one shouted "pig" at me at the top of thier voice.

 

Obviously i was confused at this and wasnt sure how to respond so without thinking blurted out "p*ss off you mouthy b*tch" whoops, she went off on one using loads of swear words and calling me retarded amongst other offensive terms. Obviously it was hard to find a space to say anything not to mention im not that good at "comebacks" or "witty retorts" so after about 13 seconds when she shut up i said "grow up you immature girl, get some self respect and put some clothes on before you catch a cold or get attacked". She then walked off in an apparent huff muttering to her friend.

 

Did i respons appropriately??? Is it ok to give a stern and rude response to someone whos verbally abusive for no reason??? And was my remark at the end appropriate???? Should i have just walked off or should i have "matched" her abusiveness? How should i respond??? I dont want to seem weak yet i dont want to be too aggressive, yet why should i put up with verbal abuse???

 

 

(edited for language - Kathryn)

Edited January 15, 2009 by Kathryn

[oxgirl]

Sorry to hear about you getting this aggro, Warren. <'> I think your 'grow up silly girl' comment at the end was the right tone to take with her, it obviously hit a nerve because she backed down and stropped off like a silly girl would. I wouldn't recommend matching foul language with more foul language, as this can just inflame these idiots and things can easily get out of hand. It's tempting to come back to these people with more of the same, walking away without saying anything at all can leave us feeling like victims, but it sounds like you got the upper hand in the end. I would, personally, not have come back with 'p*ss off' right at the beginning, for fear I suppose, of riling the creatures, which it seems to have done, but having said that, like you say, you want to stand up for yourself as well. I'd stick with the condescending 'grow up and get a life' angle and try not to rise to it too much and avoid getting to the flinging verbal insults stage.

Hope you're not feeling too shaken up by the incident. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[warrenpenalver]

I was more perplexed by it than anything else. Id already assessed they wernt a threat to me as they were girls and i can hardly imagine them being stupid enough to get physical and if they did still hardly a threat being quite small.

 

Had they been CHAV males i might have responded differently for the second comment as CHAV men seem to use verbal abuse as an excuse to start fights for no reason so therefore i would have flagged them as a threat. I would probably have stared them out right at their eyes to intimidate them subconciously so that they dont have the psychological upper hand rather than being submissive as some people who are afraid do. It seems CHAVs pick on people who appear weak because they are cowards themselves so by appearing strong they are less likely to attack me. Well thats how i read it anyway.

[pearl]

JP walks a couple of miles to work on a regular basis so meets more than his fair share of idiots. In addition to the robbery, he's been stopped by bogus trick or treaters, & just a few days ago was given verbal aggro by a middle aged man. It doesnt help that he has to walk past the homeless hostels on his way to & from work, so often encounters people with problems of their own.

 

He's pretty good these days at following the rules. We've advised him to avoid eye contact when walking past groups of lads (although black tag in taekwondo he's quite slight, so the staring thing probs wouldnt work in his case) and for verbals, no response or something along the lines of, sorry can't help you. I'd never encourage him to start trading words as his mind can't work fast enough in these situations.

 

He does seem to "attract" trouble despite being law abiding himself. I suspect that people sense his vulnerability. I always breathe a sigh of relief when he gets home safe & sound each day.

 

Anyhoo, well done for coping with the silly little girl, Warren.

[warrenpenalver]

He does seem to "attract" trouble despite being law abiding himself. I suspect that people sense his vulnerability.

I have that problem too. Although lately its mostly silly girls and shop security guards!! I do feel i have "target" written on my head at times.

[Tally]

Hi Warren,

 

It's becoming more and more common for women to be involved in violent crime, especially if there is alcohol involved.

 

I completely understand why you responded to her, but it inflamed her and escalated the situation. You should not have to put up with verbal abuse. The girl was completely wrong to start anything at all. Luckily your final comment worked and she left you alone then, but it probably would have been better if you had rolled your eyes and walked on in the first place. WHen you think about it, her opinion is not one you need to respect. She knows nothing of your personality.

[CEJesson]

Even though you may have acted rashly at the beginning, you resolved it by being stern at the end. I would say well done in this case

[hev]

i would have responded with p off to her as well but its best to just ignore people like that,hard though cos how dare they speak to people like that

 

i think your comment at the end was brilliant and it obviously worked cos she walked off

[warrenpenalver]

I do sometimes come out with a cracking line Its not something i properly think or plan though and sometimes it gets me in trouble

[hev]

yeah i get in trouble sometimes too!!we know the best response is to be calm and walk on but my god calling someone a pig in the street is disgusting.

im going to remember your last comment warren in case i ever need to use it

[southwalessunshine]

I would've reacted the same way, what a comment that last one was....well done!

Unfortunately this type of behaviour from girls(and boys) is all too common and the general public won't stand up to them, hence they do it all the more as they know there's no punishment. The sorry thing is, is thatthey can be dangerous and if you give them a come back they'll either back down, or attack you. Unfortunately you never know which until either you're left standing there wondering what the hell that was all about or you're on your way to casualty

x

[warrenpenalver]

I think i can handle 2 teen girls easy enough!!

[chris54]

The problem you have, and this is something I have to keep in mind at work, is that any confrontation can easily escalate and lead to physical attack and could not only end up with you getting hurt but you could also end up on the wrong side of the law.

[warrenpenalver]

self defence is not a crime though?? as long as you use reasonable force you are fine.

[Tally]

That is true Warren, but it also depends on how other people view your actions. If two teenage girls claim you attacked them, their view might be the one which is upheld.