Temper getting worse!!

[bikemad]

My lads temper is getting worse n worse n he has a shorter n shorter fuse....he gets worse weekly but this week my god has been bad.....he has been in trouble umpteen times at school...once he hurled a glue stick across the classroom at a kid that has 'made him angry', next day he was trying to 'scrap' with the kid then told off in class for swinging on chair but carried on then told off for blowing raspberries on arm etc etc etc you get the idea!!!! This weekend we had a family get together which id prepared him well for n he seemed to be happy to go but got more n more hyper n wound up n had a stinking attitude(mind you that dont seem to ever go away!!)n ended up snapping at everyone n really grouchy, today mil offered to have him with her great granddaughter n she rung me to have him home n said he had a been a nightmare(she is one of only 2 people who will even attempt to have him)n as we left told him off for being nasty n that one day noone would want him round(cheers mil!!!), when I spoke to him bout it in car he said the girl had called him stupid n it made him mad so he lost his temper. He said he doesnt know how to not loose his temper.

 

The idiot at cahms dont wanna know n never lets me tell him a thing bout whats happening, last appointment I wanted to speak to him bout stuff but was only there 3 mins n got herded out....im really finding it hard n noone seems to want to listen or help!!!! As for what to do bout his temper I really dont know.

[Enid]

It does sound as though its getting worse, I expect you have tried star charts, marble jars etc. but sometimes they really can work, say aim to get 10 marbles in the jar by the end of the day and then he has a treat for supper, then try to "catch" him being good 10 times!!!! and every time make a really BIG fuss, all I can think of for now but sending you <'> <'> Enid

[jo jones]

bikemad,, blaine has started having behavioural therapy again,,cos he is gettin worse,,,and o/t have now said to use social stories aswell to try and curb it ,,it so hard though innit,,jo xxxxxxxxxxx

[baddad]

Hi bikemad -

 

From what you've posted about the discussions you're having with him it sounds as though maybe you're trying to 'negotiate' with your son rather than just telling him no. Very few nine year olds have the social sophistication to negotiate, and even when they do it's at a very rudimentary level. The fact that your son is responding with aggression and anger to almost any 'trigger' suggests that he really isn't ready for that yet. Take that out of the equation, and while you'll probably see an escalation in behaviours initially (while he gets his head around the new pecking order) you will probably see a happier child in the long term. If the behaviour is increasing, and there's no obvious reason for that (if you look hard enough you'll find a reason, but that doesn't necessarily mean what you find is the reason) then the liklihood is it's increasing because it works for him and/or the sanctions and rewards to stop him acting that way are miscalculated. If you think about something like domestic violence the pattern is almost always the same: it starts off small, and as the the behaviours become accommodated (I use that term loosely of course, not to imply 'accepted' but to mean that they have not been met with a strong enough deterent to stop them)it gets worse and worse...

While the way in which it's said matters enormously, what your MIL told him is absolutely true, and your son does need to know it. If the consequences of his behaviour are 'hidden' from him then he can't possibly be expected to act upon those consequences. If he genuinely can't moderate his behaviour then he has to know the consequences of that and deal with it too, but chances are he can and will in time... In reality, it's even worse for autistic kids, because even if he does get control of his aggressive behaviours the chances are he will still be rejected by many of his peers for other reasons, but that aside it is a fact that kids don't want to play with another child who regularly hurts them.

As far as CAMHS goes - yes it is frustrating, but in reality there is nothing they can do to stop him behaving like this. They can only give you the 'tools' to do so, and that toolbox is very limited... Sanction, reward, expectations and concrete boundaries is pretty much the sum of it, though how that's delivered will vary from child to child. When it comes to 'delivery' that has to be down to you - both in terms of how you do it at home and the expectations you place on others charged with his care (i.e. MIL/School etc).

It is a huge struggle, so very best with it. The only thing you can really say is that all of the effort you put in now is worth it, because while it's really hard to deal with an aggressive 9 year old it can only get tougher as he grows.

 

Hope that's helpful

 

L&P

 

BD

[JsMum]

 

 

Hi, from what I can see in your post the problem is he can not handle anger effectively, he is loosing his temper and finds it difficult to express verbally his feelings, so when the girl called him stupid he didnt have the words avialable and was too upset to think only lashing out.

 

I would really recommend some anger management and anger management equiptment, to vent these, after he is calmer explore his feelings using art and craft and doing something creative.

 

If you have any finance available I cant recommend enough private play therapists too look at his behaviour and reactions, or a psychologist.

 

It sounds like his behaviour is esculating because the pressures are increasing with age, social understanding, learning preasures, to behave, to keep in control at all times, its getting too much, and he is exploding.

 

Behaviour is all our children have left when communication is impaired and he is showing you he isnt coping right now.

 

JsMum

 

 

[pookie170]

today mil offered to have him with her great granddaughter n she rung me to have him home n said he had a been a nightmare(she is one of only 2 people who will even attempt to have him)n as we left told him off for being nasty n that one day noone would want him round(cheers mil!!!), when I spoke to him bout it in car he said the girl had called him stupid n it made him mad so he lost his temper. He said he doesnt know how to not loose his temper.

 

The idiot at cahms dont wanna know n never lets me tell him a thing bout whats happening, last appointment I wanted to speak to him bout stuff but was only there 3 mins n got herded out....im really finding it hard n noone seems to want to listen or help!!!! As for what to do bout his temper I really dont know.

 

 

Hey Bikemad,

 

I know where you're coming from, and sympathise most strongly. Its difficult sometimes to work out the strategies that work for your child, if only it was a case of one size fits all, hey?

I don't know what's going on with your lad's psychologist, why a 3 minute appointment? It doesn't seem at all like you're getting the service you should be- you can request to be transferred to another psychologist there, or speak to the (I can't remember the phrase, so I'll use this, but you know wot I mean!) practice manager. Your concerns should be taken seriously, and you and your son are at a point where you need the right support.

With regards to your MIL's words, she might have phrased it a bit harshly, but the truth is there are very few people who will put up with anyone else being nasty, curmudgeonly,sulky, however you want to phrase it. This is a lesson I learned the hard way myself- I still recall being the only child out of a class of 32 not invited to a party, beacause I was mean and sulky when I didn't get my own way.

Now, that's just an example, I'm not saying for one minute that your son is behaving badly out of spite, or that a short sharp shock will fix this problem. It's much harder when a child has difficulty expressing himself, and/or has a problem with social skills too. But it's something kids learn regardless of adult input anyway, because other kids draw away, just as adults do. And as a parent, it sucks to watch happening, and the lack of practical help/time out for onesself makes it harder to cope with also.....

I would say been there,done that; but I don't think we're out of the woods yet- heading in the right direction, though the odd branch snaps back and whaps us in the face every now and then! (I'm just hoping not to hear the strains of 'TIIIIIMMBEEEEEERRRR!!' bellowing our way any time soon!)

What we found helpful was to sit down with the school staff involved with my lad at the time. We worked on a maximum of 2 immediate and most pressing issues, ie No hitting, No swearing and put together a plan of action for whenever these things occurred. This included the exact wording of responses to situations, tone of voice to use, action to be taken, ie 5 minutes timeout, red light on chart etc. Also,reminders to explain in clear and precise terminology, what he had done wrong, what was going to happen, and how he could rectify things. Now everyone had to stick rigidly to this, the plan was printed off, laminated and stuck beside his workstation, I had a copy at home....we had to have everyone on board or it would have been pointless. There was a definite week or so of escalation in his behaviour, but then the message got through and his behaviour improved. He still had blips, and off days but it was clear enough for him to understand and he knew no-one would give mixed messages, or let him away with things.

He also had the school rules edited for him- instead of 'Be nice to one another' he had a sheet that read 'Do say please and thank you' 'Never use swear words' 'Never hurt anyone', that kind of thing. The ed psych actually ended up getting them to do this for the whole school. Cal had to sit and read these every morning, to try and reinforce them in his head.....A copy was pinned up near his workstation and he was reminded of them when things looked as if they might escalate.

 

When I say his behaviour was bad, I mean it was atrocious. He literally climbed walls, hurled chairs (as well as a 5 year old can!) bit, swore like a navvy, ripped everything he could off walls.....he blocked umpteen loos, set off a fire alarm, and the school had to have special locks and cable boxing installed so that he couldn't break them. As well as countless bids for freedom.....

Thing is, that at the previous school, they have him whatever they could to calm him down (computer time, mainly! I was speechless!) so anything I was achieving at home was being totally undermined. And by the time he got to a more 'suitable' (hmph! another story!...)placement, he'd learned to behave in such a disgraceful manner that they had no idea of how to handle it......(and nor did I!)

Social stories are a fab idea, and perhaps the school has a social skills group they could get him involved with? Its an idea many primary schools across the country are adopting, could be worthwhile.

Someone also suggested anger management/therapeutic toys- what about a stress ball he could carry in his pocket, it might help him release frustration?

I hope things improve for your little guy soon, it is such a tough thing to deal with....I also hope things at CAMHS change for you too.

 

Take care,

[baddad]

Behaviour is all our children have left when communication is impaired and he is showing you he isnt coping right now.

 

JsMum

 

Hi J's mum -

I totally agree with you on the first half of this sentence, but would qualify the second...

 

Behaviour is all our children have left when communication is impaired, so they have to learn appropriate behaviour. He may be showing that he isn't coping right now, or he may be showing that he has developed strategies that work for him in the short term. Either way, they are inappropriate responses, and he needs to find/be led to appropriate alternatives. I agree that social stories are a really good idea, but I'm not so sure about 'exploring behaviour through creative play', which sounds like a double edged sword. 'I hit someone and then me and mum spend time together doing something I like' is really open to misinterpretation (reward) for a child who's already struggling to make sense of rules and communication. I'm not saying that sort of exploration is a bad idea, but I do think it should be 'timetabled' rather than factored in casually as a response to bad behaviour, and maybe that kind of 'Golden Time' should be factored in as a sanction that can be lost?

 

L&P

 

BD

 

[BusyLizzie100]

Pookie, :notworthy:

 

Just wanted to say I found your post very helpful, clearly and succinctly explained. I hope it helps you, too, Bikemad!

 

I just wish I could get the school on board with my boys

 

As far as CAMHS is concerned, Bikemad, I would suggest that you keep contacting them, ringing if necessary or keeping a diary so you can show what's happening - if they'll only give you 3 mins then give them something to read as well!

 

My CAMHS said three months ago they were referring my DS1 on for other services, I had to chase her up twice until she eventually got round to doing it, eventually got her to fax over the referral the day before she went on leave.

 

Don't be put off by them.

 

Other than that, I can't add anything to Pookie's post.

 

all the best,

Lizzie xxx <'>

[Suze]

Totally agree with pookies post..........put much better than I could have.If possible I,d suggest all of that to the school, the laminated card is excellent idea, its definitely worth a try as you can follow it up at home.

[bikemad]

Thank you everyone for the replies.....camhs argh wont mention them have tried contacting them all morning n getting nowhere fast!!!! They are abysmal here!!!!!

 

I'm going to look into anger management for him def, school are a joke n just pass it back to me to deal with every time so getting them on board is going to be hard but def try the laminated card in the house, he has said when people make him mad he don't know what to say back to them so just gets madder(he was under salt as he is behind in his language skills), we do make sure he knows everything has a consequence be it bad or good obviously depending on the action...usually the sanction is to do with games consoles or the like as he lives for them, theres times he gets mad tho n after it he don't even realize he was like it if that makes sense.

 

Thanks everyone for the replies.

[bikemad]

Meant to ask what exactly are 'social stories'?

[jo jones]

bikemad,,will pm u on fb k jo

[JsMum]

Baddad the advice I gave was what was given to J from a qualified private child psychologist, and it was not imediate after a physical attack, much later when he calmed down, J learns much more when he is able to express throw art/craft and were he is free to be creative, so for us this skill is what we use for his anger management techs to help him explore his angry feelings, or his very very frustrated feeling, it is incredibally difficult to manage anger when you can not verbalise your feelings, they intensify and for us they did need exploring.

 

 

JsMum

 

[baddad]

Baddad the advice I gave was what was given to J from a qualified private child psychologist, and it was not imediate after a physical attack, much later when he calmed down, J learns much more when he is able to express throw art/craft and were he is free to be creative, so for us this skill is what we use for his anger management techs to help him explore his angry feelings, or his very very frustrated feeling, it is incredibally difficult to manage anger when you can not verbalise your feelings, they intensify and for us they did need exploring.

 

 

JsMum

 

Hi j's mum -

As i said, I do think it's a good idea, I just think you have to be really careful about how you implement it to ensure there's no possibility of it acting as a reinforcer/reward. Exploring feelings like this in a 'generalised' and structured, timetabled way would be really helpful, but if the child was to connect that 'play' reward to a specific event or to specific behaviours as a 'consequence' you open the door on all sorts of other nasties. And yes, behaviours can and do arise as a consequence of frustration/misunderstanding, but they also arise because a child is a child and they are perfectly normal children's behaviours too. Every neurotypical child goes through this phase (usually earlier in their development, but it's the same thing - growing awareness of 'self' and the impact that can have on others and a desire to control their environment) too, but most parents - even if they very sensibly use the kinds of techniques you highlight to help their child achieve understanding - just view them as a childhood milestone rather than treating them as something 'other' or specific to their child...

Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love kids, but I'm under no illusions about them whatsoever - they are all 'Lovely Little Monsters', and that's nothing to do with autism or neurotypicality; it's just about being human.

 

L&P

 

BD

[sesley]

My lads temper is getting worse n worse n he has a shorter n shorter fuse....he gets worse weekly but this week my god has been bad.....he has been in trouble umpteen times at school...once he hurled a glue stick across the classroom at a kid that has 'made him angry', next day he was trying to 'scrap' with the kid then told off in class for swinging on chair but carried on then told off for blowing raspberries on arm etc etc etc you get the idea!!!! This weekend we had a family get together which id prepared him well for n he seemed to be happy to go but got more n more hyper n wound up n had a stinking attitude(mind you that dont seem to ever go away!!)n ended up snapping at everyone n really grouchy, today mil offered to have him with her great granddaughter n she rung me to have him home n said he had a been a nightmare(she is one of only 2 people who will even attempt to have him)n as we left told him off for being nasty n that one day noone would want him round(cheers mil!!!), when I spoke to him bout it in car he said the girl had called him stupid n it made him mad so he lost his temper. He said he doesnt know how to not loose his temper.The idiot at cahms dont wanna know n never lets me tell him a thing bout whats happening, last appointment I wanted to speak to him bout stuff but was only there 3 mins n got herded out....im really finding it hard n noone seems to want to listen or help!!!! As for what to do bout his temper I really dont know.

 

 

how old is your lad?Its obvious he has triggers that set him off from girls calling him names etc. mine is 9 and has a bad temper too , he starts shouting then� and and the worst is� we have been working on talking to him to reason out why he� and� he also gets time out no� and tv or ds lite until he can calm down and be nice. and he does ,but he is so sorry when he does calm down, it has been things like he can't win or be first and be in charge. he is having to learn about other people have needs too and it is hard and because he forgets and shouts and explodes when he is triggered. I found its best to stay calm yourself and not show any emotion back and get him to a time out space and talk him out of his temper and try to find out why and find a way for him to understand his behaviour is unacceptable .

[JsMum]

Hi j's mum -

As i said, I do think it's a good idea, I just think you have to be really careful about how you implement it to ensure there's no possibility of it acting as a reinforcer/reward. Exploring feelings like this in a 'generalised' and structured, timetabled way would be really helpful, but if the child was to connect that 'play' reward to a specific event or to specific behaviours as a 'consequence' you open the door on all sorts of other nasties. And yes, behaviours can and do arise as a consequence of frustration/misunderstanding, but they also arise because a child is a child and they are perfectly normal children's behaviours too. Every neurotypical child goes through this phase (usually earlier in their development, but it's the same thing - growing awareness of 'self' and the impact that can have on others and a desire to control their environment) too, but most parents - even if they very sensibly use the kinds of techniques you highlight to help their child achieve understanding - just view them as a childhood milestone rather than treating them as something 'other' or specific to their child...

Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love kids, but I'm under no illusions about them whatsoever - they are all 'Lovely Little Monsters', and that's nothing to do with autism or neurotypicality; it's just about being human.

 

L&P

 

BD

 

I am trying to understand your post, but what are you implying here, that J is human and he gets angry so what, and he has to deal with it like normal children do? that what Im interpritting it as.

 

JsMum

 

 

[baddad]

I am trying to understand your post, but what are you implying here, that J is human and he gets angry so what, and he has to deal with it like normal children do? that what Im interpritting it as.

 

JsMum

 

 

No - I'm not implying anything. I am just saying that not all behaviours occur because of autism - they are just children's behaviours. Anything you can do to help him cross that learning curve (the kind of interventions you've written about) is a huge positive for him, and autism will complicate things in terms of teaching and his respones to that teaching, but many of the behaviours are perfectly normal, perfectly predictable behaviours for all children, and can be seen on any school playground or in any park.

 

L&P

 

BD

Edited January 19, 2009 by baddad

[JsMum]

 

 

J has social skills and social interaction difficulties, and there severe, lots of children like J, they want to be his friend and they want to play with him, but they cant, they get hurt, why, because he has severe, social and interaction difficulties, he cant verbalise, or express, why, because he has impaired communication difficulties, I think I do need a spersific programme that meets his needs, that is individual to him, I do give J sanctions, he looses his items all the time, but If I didnt do the exploring feelings, then he might as well have them in a safe, because he wouldnt ever get them back, his behaviour is so extreame when he is angry, he has used a hammer to smash my house windows, he throw items, he hurts me, we have to get the police when he goes, so I think this boy is a bit more than a bit human, he is like hulk at times, the red mist, the tempt in his eyes, he is in a rage and do you think telling him he has lost his tv does anything, it doesnt, he rages more, thats why we looked into anger management, Creative expressive methods.

 

My son does need spersific impliments, and all I was doing was sharing that, its not golden time or any reward, its there to support J.

 

JsMum

 

[sesley]

have you ever sat him down when all is calm and just talked/communicated with him to find out why he does get so angry ,if he is into teen land maybe its the hormonal changes that make him angry. You might also find he gets as scared and frightened as you do .

[baddad]

J has social skills and social interaction difficulties, and there severe, lots of children like J, they want to be his friend and they want to play with him, but they cant, they get hurt, why, because he has severe, social and interaction difficulties, he cant verbalise, or express, why, because he has impaired communication difficulties, I think I do need a spersific programme that meets his needs, that is individual to him, I do give J sanctions, he looses his items all the time, but If I didnt do the exploring feelings, then he might as well have them in a safe, because he wouldnt ever get them back, his behaviour is so extreame when he is angry, he has used a hammer to smash my house windows, he throw items, he hurts me, we have to get the police when he goes, so I think this boy is a bit more than a bit human, he is like hulk at times, the red mist, the tempt in his eyes, he is in a rage and do you think telling him he has lost his tv does anything, it doesnt, he rages more, thats why we looked into anger management, Creative expressive methods.

 

My son does need spersific impliments, and all I was doing was sharing that, its not golden time or any reward, its there to support J.

 

JsMum

 

Hi j's mum -

 

I'm going to bow out of this one because you seem to be taking what i am saying personally which was not the intention. If you read my post again you will see that I wasn't suggesting you were 'giving' golden time or rewards - just that caution is needed when implementing a strategy to ensure it isn't perceived as one. I've actually said that the strategy itself is a useful one if implemented correctly (and that should not be taken as a suggestion that you are not implementing it correctly - it is just a statement about a very real potential pitfall to any intevention). I'm also not suggesting that the problems J has are not 'real' or anything like that - I am just stating that they are not autism specific problems and that to view them as such is also problematic. Many, many non-autistic children have these types of problems, and many autistic children don't, or overcome them, or experience them at an appropriate age. Some autistic children don't overcome them, and go on to be adults with these kinds of problems. That also applies to the non-autistic community.

One thing I would point out, though, the incident with the hammer (unless he happened to be carrying a hammer at the time he lost his temper) is not an act of uncontrolled rage. It was, if he went and found the hammer, an act of premeditated, considered and directed violence and aggression, and that has absolutely nothing to do with autism or 'meltdowns' whatsoever.

 

I hope that makes things clearer. I'll try to keep anything else I add to this thread specific to the OP's message, to ensure that no personal conclusions are drawn

 

L&P

 

BD

 

[bikemad]

 

 

how old is your lad?Its obvious he has triggers that set him off from girls calling him names etc. mine is 9 and has a bad temper too , he starts shouting then� and and the worst is� we have been working on talking to him to reason out why he� and� he also gets time out no� and tv or ds lite until he can calm down and be nice. and he does ,but he is so sorry when he does calm down, it has been things like he can't win or be first and be in charge. he is having to learn about other people have needs too and it is hard and because he forgets and shouts and explodes when he is triggered. I found its best to stay calm yourself and not show any emotion back and get him to a time out space and talk him out of his temper and try to find out why and find a way for him to understand his behaviour is unacceptable .

 

 

He is 9. The way you just described your lad is the same as mine.....shouting,crying then totally looses it n gets mad. After it tho he then gets mad n upset at himself for getting mad if that makes sense.

[sesley]

yes it does make sense. when they calm down and start to think logically and clearly, you find they are quite upset at their own behaviour, we get him to see his behaviour is not good as is upsetting us too ,it can also be out of fear,because your son is probably trying overtime to understand the concepts that are being thrown at him and he can't process themfast enough, and gets scared because,he wants to fit in,he wants friends,he wants to be accepted for who he is,but his behaviour upsets the people he loves and cares for and he does not want to do that,so he reacts with temper ,at himself at you or anyone else that upset him ,so they find it hard to empathise with others, so you need to, if you can find away to get him to understand your needs and how hurt you feel , and let him in his own way express how he feels . It is hard i know , we get the tempers and shouting,but i am gradually getting him to understand, he must take a turn, must put up his hand in class to be spoken to and not shout out, its a slow process,but the main thing to do is stay calm yourself ,show no emotion when he explodes and get him to a calming zone bedroon etc and talk to him through his rages and get him back to thinking clearly, ask him if he likes being shouted at, thrown things at etc anything that turns it around how he feels and see if you can explain how being on the receiving end is painful and distressing to you and others. Give him time also to process and respond to everything you say And don't be afraid of give him penaltys as well and tell him he can have them back,when he is nice and calm,you do need patience and resilience as well,don't forget there is a naughty child in there too,but one who gets frightened at himself.

Edited January 20, 2009 by sesley

[bikemad]

yes it does make sense. when they calm down and start to think logically and clearly, you find they are quite upset at their own behavior, we get him to see his behavior is not good as is upsetting us too ,it can also be out of fear,because your son is probably trying overtime to understand the concepts that are being thrown at him and he can't process them fast enough, and gets scared because,he wants to fit in,he wants friends,he wants to be accepted for who he is,but his behavior upsets the people he loves and cares for and he does not want to do that,so he reacts with temper ,at himself at you or anyone else that upset him ,so they find it hard to empathize with others, so you need to, if you can find away to get him to understand your needs and how hurt you feel , and let him in his own way express how he feels . It is hard i know , we get the tempers and shouting,but i am gradually getting him to understand, he must take a turn, must put up his hand in class to be spoken to and not shout out, its a slow process,but the main thing to do is stay calm yourself ,show no emotion when he explodes and get him to a calming zone bedroom etc and talk to him through his rages and get him back to thinking clearly, ask him if he likes being shouted at, thrown things at etc anything that turns it around how he feels and see if you can explain how being on the receiving end is painful and distressing to you and others. Give him time also to process and respond to everything you say And don't be afraid of give him penalty's as well and tell him he can have them back,when he is nice and calm,you do need patience and resilience as well,don't forget there is a naughty child in there too,but one who gets frightened at himself.

 

Now that pretty much summed up my lad as if you had been watching him lol.

 

Just had a cdt meeting n the head said his temper is getting worse at school too plus she reckons his latest op on his ears didnt work grgh. But she admited he needs an iep n needs senco involved!!!!!!!!

[sesley]

been to a physcologist today, she suggest we keep a diary of his shouting,and temper and explosions and mark down,what he was doing up to the time he explodes etc, what mood he was in and what was the trigger,to see if we can work out a pattern, its no good expecting him to understand how someone else might expereince things because his autism makes it impossible to think of other,the shouting and lashing out is a result of anxiety and fear ,so may i suggest you do the same keep a record of his tempers,time,date and his moods,what happened before the explosion and what triggered the reaction.and then see if you can work out a pattern of the rages and see if you can get appointments with your child physcologists and show them the record you have kept and see if you can work out strategies to help prevent some of them. Please do remember he had autism and its the autism that causes the behaviour and its not his fault, ask your school at the IEP meeting to keep records of his tempers,what happened for them to start,what mood was he in, etc simular to your record,to work out a pattern. School is not home,so you may need to discuss together each others strategies.

[bikemad]

Thanks for the info...ive been keeping a daily diary about everything for months now...since Sept think it is so got records of most stuff. Meant to be doing an iep at the school soon so will def get them to do the same.