I'm new, & need help with my son

[Rhys' Mum]

My son Rhys will be 5 in July, so he's been given a "working" diagnosis due to him being so young. He's on the mild end of the scale, & we've been having intervention since he was 2 & half (nursery spotted signs). He is a very friendly, fun loving & out going little boy; but he has no real understanding of when to stop, or draw a line for himself, or when to stop. He also has no fear strangers, & goes off quite happily without me or anyone about. If he's got something in his mind, then he has to follow it out. If over excited or over stimulated, or upset/cross, his emotions leap in the blink of an eye & he has very aggressive & loud outbursts. His behaviour is the same at home, as it is a school, & I worry that his school don't really fully know how to handle him. He's causing harm to other children at least 3 times a day (usually more!); he also has very destructive tendencies, & gets very silly/naughty when being told off. I'm worried that he's really going to seriously hurt someone soon, as he's using sharpened pencils, scissors, knife & fork etc at school - all potential weapons in his hands! He does a lot of face/cheek grabbing, pushing, shoving, shouting, jumping, bumping, pulling, screaming & growling - all of which can be reactions for negative & positive emotions. He is a very clever boy; he is able to talk to you about concequences etc, like he knows the right thing to say, but when it comes to it, he's not able to stop & think! He is very aggressive at home as well, to his younger brother (Nicholas, 2 yrs old). They love each other, & can play very well, but Rhys is not able to be patient, or tell me or my husband if there's a problem. He acts on impulse, & he gets very upset when we talk about it, that he can't stop hurting people. He's never been invited to a birthday party, or to a friends house, & the older he gets, the more aware he'll become. At the moment, he's blissfully unaware of any problems or upset he may cause; but I am so desperate for him! What can I do????

Edited April 18, 2009 by Rhys' Mum

[NickyB]

Hello Rhys' Mum and welcome

 

You could have been describing my son, who's now 6 and in year 1. He has all the same tendancies as Rhys and it was also his nursery who first spotted the signs. It's great that you have support so early on - what kind of intervention are you getting? In our case, there was a specialist teacher who came to DSs nursery to observe him, and then wrote a report for the school. Then we had a meeting before he started with the head teacher, class teacher and SENCO, to discuss his needs. We then had a follow-up meeting after a few weeks, followed by termly meetings since then. He is on School Action Plus, with an 'Individual Education Plan' which sets out his targets and strategies we will use at home and school to achieve these. The SENCO is cuurently applying for a statement, as they don't feel they can support him enough purely on School Action Plus

 

The best advice I can give is to keep communicating with school and all the agencies involved, and try to keep on good terms with them (easier said than done sometimes )

 

 

I hope the transition to school goes well

 

Take care

Nicky <'>

 

[Karen A]

Hi Rhys' mum Welcome to the Forum.

Have you got a school place that you are happy with for September ?Or is your child in school or nursery attached to a school already?

Have nursery documented what they have been doing ?

Has anyone got a plan to meet with school to plan what support your child will need ?

Sorry to start with lots of questions. Karen.

 

[Karen A]

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1763&a=3229

This might be useful.Karen.

[smiley1590]

sounds like he has an behavioural disorder affecting his impulsive control and outbursts so maybe ODD(oppositional Defiant Disorder ),CD(Conduct.Disorder,PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance syndrome) all all linked to the autistic spectrum but not the same as!

 

look up on google as sounds possible he could possibly have so researching into different areas on impulsive control behaviourals need to be looked into! maybe meetings of nursery team and yourselves can work towards same goals as eachother for his future and maybe go to your GP (fam doc) and ask for assessment of impluse control condtions even at his age in can begin to show you need to see any signs are present at the moment which well could be! with anger and agression he sounds very vulnerable at times and frustrated with his own behaviour towards others if he clearly gets upset over it! you may need extra help and support of an educational pyschologist or social worker so look into all possibilities open to you!

 

take care

good luck

XKLX

[Karen A]

sounds like he has an behavioural disorder affecting his impulsive control and outbursts so maybe ODD(oppositional Defiant Disorder ),CD(Conduct.Disorder,PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance syndrome) all all linked to the autistic spectrum but not the same as!

 

look up on google as sounds possible he could possibly have so researching into different areas on impulsive control behaviourals need to be looked into! maybe meetings of nursery team and yourselves can work towards same goals as eachother for his future and maybe go to your GP (fam doc) and ask for assessment of impluse control condtions even at his age in can begin to show you need to see any signs are present at the moment which well could be! with anger and agression he sounds very vulnerable at times and frustrated with his own behaviour towards others if he clearly gets upset over it! you may need extra help and support of an educational pyschologist or social worker so look into all possibilities open to you!

 

take care

good luck

XKLX

 

Hi Smiley.I thought it worth saying that whilst it is certainly worth keeping an eye on the anger and impulsive behaviour.However it would be very unlikely that CAMHS would diagnose a child with conduct disorder at such a young age.

I worked for some time as a lunch time supervisor in a nursery.If every boisterous,over active and impulsive boy had been diagnosed with a disorder that would have been most of the boys in the nursery.Sorry to anyone offended by the generalisation re boys...there were some very active rough girls too.

I think that if by the middle or end of primary a child was still exhibiting impulsive behaviour and lack of awareness then conduct disorder might be worth thinking about.However conduct disorder in a child who is not yet out of the foundation stage sounds a premature to me. Karen.

Edited April 18, 2009 by Karen A

[Karen A]

My son Rhys will be 5 in July, so he's been given a "working" diagnosis due to him being so young. He's on the mild end of the scale, & we've been having intervention since he was 2 & half (nursery spotted signs). He is a very friendly, fun loving & out going little boy; but he has no real understanding of when to stop, or draw a line for himself, or when to stop. He also has no fear strangers, & goes off quite happily without me or anyone about. If he's got something in his mind, then he has to follow it out. If over excited or over stimulated, or upset/cross, his emotions leap in the blink of an eye & he has very aggressive & loud outbursts. His behaviour is the same at home, as it is a school, & I worry that his school don't really fully know how to handle him. He's causing harm to other children at least 3 times a day (usually more!); he also has very destructive tendencies, & gets very silly/naughty when being told off. I'm worried that he's really going to seriously hurt someone soon, as he's using sharpened pencils, scissors, knife & fork etc at school - all potential weapons in his hands! He does a lot of face/cheek grabbing, pushing, shoving, shouting, jumping, bumping, pulling, screaming & growling - all of which can be reactions for negative & positive emotions. He is a very clever boy; he is able to talk to you about concequences etc, like he knows the right thing to say, but when it comes to it, he's not able to stop & think! He is very aggressive at home as well, to his younger brother (Nicholas, 2 yrs old). They love each other, & can play very well, but Rhys is not able to be patient, or tell me or my husband if there's a problem. He acts on impulse, & he gets very upset when we talk about it, that he can't stop hurting people. He's never been invited to a birthday party, or to a friends house, & the older he gets, the more aware he'll become. At the moment, he's blissfully unaware of any problems or upset he may cause; but I am so desperate for him! What can I do????

 

Sorry to ask more questions but I thought it worth clarifying.Working diagnosis of what please ?

Karen.

[wasuup]

My youngest has challenging behaviour he will be 3 in August and as far as we know seems NT but he bites, pinches, hits and headbutts especially if he is told No. None of the other 3 have been like this or behaved aggressively at such a young age. He has been like this since about 6 months old. It can be very embarrassing in public where people are not backward in coming forward with their opinions-he must be spoilt as he is the youngest-have you looked at his diet, maybe its the food additives-my he is a live wire-if you don't put a stop to that now then he will end up inside when he grows up. Yep thanks whoever you are out there, really helpful stuff....Next time would you like to wait until he has removed his teeth from my arm before you offer your supreme advice so I have a chance to slap you instead! It is so hard and I really do know how hard it is and welcome to the forum <'>

[MandyB]

Hi Rhys' Mum!

 

Your chap sounds just like mine!! He's 5, diagnosed last year with ASD, has a neurotypical 2-year old brother and we have all the same sorts of issues! We're very lucky with his school, they are being very supportive and pro-active in trying to get him a statement, but I know this is not necessarily the norm for everyone. Make friends with the SENCO as soon as you can! Playtime is my son's toughest time at school, and his teacher has been taking him to a quiet area when he's getting over-excited or pushy! He goes with her happily as he's ready for some quiet time which is good. Perhaps Rhys would benefit from the same - mine always runs around wildly with a big grin on his face, but actually is anxious and happy to get away from the noisy situation when given the chance. If someone at the school can recognise his "triggers" (and there's always a trigger!) this would help him escape and avoid getting to the hands-on stage.

 

I wish you lots of luck and hope the school will be a help and support - and if not you've always got here!

 

Best wishes

Mandy B

 

[Rhys' Mum]

Hello Rhys' Mum and welcome

 

You could have been describing my son, who's now 6 and in year 1. He has all the same tendancies as Rhys and it was also his nursery who first spotted the signs. It's great that you have support so early on - what kind of intervention are you getting? In our case, there was a specialist teacher who came to DSs nursery to observe him, and then wrote a report for the school. Then we had a meeting before he started with the head teacher, class teacher and SENCO, to discuss his needs. We then had a follow-up meeting after a few weeks, followed by termly meetings since then. He is on School Action Plus, with an 'Individual Education Plan' which sets out his targets and strategies we will use at home and school to achieve these. The SENCO is cuurently applying for a statement, as they don't feel they can support him enough purely on School Action Plus

 

The best advice I can give is to keep communicating with school and all the agencies involved, and try to keep on good terms with them (easier said than done sometimes )

 

 

I hope the transition to school goes well

 

Take care

Nicky <'>

 

[Rhys' Mum]

Hello Rhys' Mum and welcome

 

You could have been describing my son, who's now 6 and in year 1. He has all the same tendancies as Rhys and it was also his nursery who first spotted the signs. It's great that you have support so early on - what kind of intervention are you getting? In our case, there was a specialist teacher who came to DSs nursery to observe him, and then wrote a report for the school. Then we had a meeting before he started with the head teacher, class teacher and SENCO, to discuss his needs. We then had a follow-up meeting after a few weeks, followed by termly meetings since then. He is on School Action Plus, with an 'Individual Education Plan' which sets out his targets and strategies we will use at home and school to achieve these. The SENCO is cuurently applying for a statement, as they don't feel they can support him enough purely on School Action Plus

 

The best advice I can give is to keep communicating with school and all the agencies involved, and try to keep on good terms with them (easier said than done sometimes )

 

 

I hope the transition to school goes well

 

Take care

Nicky <'>

 

[Rhys' Mum]

Rhys is also on School Action Plus, & I've been in constant contact with the SENCo at his school. The school were looking to have him statemented, which is something the school & I agreed would be best, to get funding for him to have full time 1:1 support; but they've since gone back on that! A behavioural specialist went in to observe him, & I think off the back of that, they've decided "Getting Rhys statemented will make little difference at this time"!!? How they can say that when he's doing so much damage with the part time support that he currently gets! The support teacher he currently has, lovely as she is, does not have any ASD trainning. It's all very well reading up all the data his previous nursery gathered, or reports from previous specialists; but if you don't have the right trainning, you can't fully understand the condition. Anyway; I have an appointment with his school this coming Tuesday, so I'll be pushing that point.

 

I'd been getting quite depressed about picking him & being given a list of things he'd done wrong; I was being made to feel that I had to apologise for my son & they way he is. I then felt guilty that I wasn't backing is corner as it were, that I was letting him down. I arranged to have a parent/school communication book, so his teacher could just right about his day, rather than talking about it all in front of him. His teacher does use the book, but she still stands there & goes over the worst of his behaviour! Sorry - having a moan now... It's just so frustrating isn't it; I want to help, to try to provide answers or solutions for his school, but fact is, this is the way he is - what can I do? It's the constant aggression that's really getting me down. Do I just have to accept that it's something that can't be changed, & watch him constantly, be by his side to step in etc at all times? How do you manage you little boy? :0)

 

Hello Rhys' Mum and welcome

 

You could have been describing my son, who's now 6 and in year 1. He has all the same tendancies as Rhys and it was also his nursery who first spotted the signs. It's great that you have support so early on - what kind of intervention are you getting? In our case, there was a specialist teacher who came to DSs nursery to observe him, and then wrote a report for the school. Then we had a meeting before he started with the head teacher, class teacher and SENCO, to discuss his needs. We then had a follow-up meeting after a few weeks, followed by termly meetings since then. He is on School Action Plus, with an 'Individual Education Plan' which sets out his targets and strategies we will use at home and school to achieve these. The SENCO is cuurently applying for a statement, as they don't feel they can support him enough purely on School Action Plus

 

The best advice I can give is to keep communicating with school and all the agencies involved, and try to keep on good terms with them (easier said than done sometimes )

 

 

I hope the transition to school goes well

 

Take care

Nicky <'>

 

[Rhys' Mum]

Rhys' behaviour what picked up at your boy's age; that's when Early Education Years came to see him at nursery, also Surrey Portage Play (who are invaluble) got involved; then he was put forward to the children's unit at the hospital by our doctor. It all moved quite smoothly to be honest, so I was lucky in that respect; & because his nursery couldn't really cope, he was given funding to go to a more specialised nursery with ASD experience, which did him the world of good. It just feels now that he's floundering now at shcool in terms of his social interaction. What help are you getting with your son; or do you know who you can contact? Your GP should be able to help. Thank you for your reply; I know where you're coming from!

 

My youngest has challenging behaviour he will be 3 in August and as far as we know seems NT but he bites, pinches, hits and headbutts especially if he is told No. None of the other 3 have been like this or behaved aggressively at such a young age. He has been like this since about 6 months old. It can be very embarrassing in public where people are not backward in coming forward with their opinions-he must be spoilt as he is the youngest-have you looked at his diet, maybe its the food additives-my he is a live wire-if you don't put a stop to that now then he will end up inside when he grows up. Yep thanks whoever you are out there, really helpful stuff....Next time would you like to wait until he has removed his teeth from my arm before you offer your supreme advice so I have a chance to slap you instead! It is so hard and I really do know how hard it is and welcome to the forum <'>

 

[Rhys' Mum]

I agree, there is always a trigger that you can usually spot. This is why I keep telling his school he needs support full time, from someone with ASD experience/trainning! It would make the world of difference, which we've seen when he was moved to a more specialised nursery. He had constant 1:1 support from a lady with years of experience. She didn't crowd him & let him do his own thing, but she never took her eyes off him & was always close enough to step in when needed. I've tried to give suggestions of triggers or offer advice to his school, but they seem to take offense & get quite defensive about their staff & practices. Thank you for your reply, I'll talk to them again about strategies. :0)

 

Hi Rhys' Mum!

 

Your chap sounds just like mine!! He's 5, diagnosed last year with ASD, has a neurotypical 2-year old brother and we have all the same sorts of issues! We're very lucky with his school, they are being very supportive and pro-active in trying to get him a statement, but I know this is not necessarily the norm for everyone. Make friends with the SENCO as soon as you can! Playtime is my son's toughest time at school, and his teacher has been taking him to a quiet area when he's getting over-excited or pushy! He goes with her happily as he's ready for some quiet time which is good. Perhaps Rhys would benefit from the same - mine always runs around wildly with a big grin on his face, but actually is anxious and happy to get away from the noisy situation when given the chance. If someone at the school can recognise his "triggers" (and there's always a trigger!) this would help him escape and avoid getting to the hands-on stage.

 

I wish you lots of luck and hope the school will be a help and support - and if not you've always got here!

 

Best wishes

Mandy B

 

[Rhys' Mum]

Sorry, silly me, would be helpful wouldn't it! A diagnosis for Aspergers.

 

Sorry to ask more questions but I thought it worth clarifying.Working diagnosis of what please ?

Karen.

 

[Rhys' Mum]

I've not heard of those conditions before; but then I'd not heard of Aspergers before Rhys saw his consultant for the first time! I will look into it, as he is so young still, it is hard to pin point it fully; so it's worth looking at. Thank you very much.

 

sounds like he has an behavioural disorder affecting his impulsive control and outbursts so maybe ODD(oppositional Defiant Disorder ),CD(Conduct.Disorder,PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance syndrome) all all linked to the autistic spectrum but not the same as!

 

look up on google as sounds possible he could possibly have so researching into different areas on impulsive control behaviourals need to be looked into! maybe meetings of nursery team and yourselves can work towards same goals as eachother for his future and maybe go to your GP (fam doc) and ask for assessment of impluse control condtions even at his age in can begin to show you need to see any signs are present at the moment which well could be! with anger and agression he sounds very vulnerable at times and frustrated with his own behaviour towards others if he clearly gets upset over it! you may need extra help and support of an educational pyschologist or social worker so look into all possibilities open to you!

 

take care

good luck

XKLX

 

[Rhys' Mum]

It's a fair comment, but in Rhys' case, he does also demonstrate other trates for Aspergers; allbeit on the mild end. Before he went to nursery I did just put it down to him being a boisterous boy, as he was my first & I had nothing to compare his behaviour too. His nursery however, came to me with concerns they had, certain signs that perhaps there was something more underline. I do hope every day that it is something he will grow out of, but frustratingly, he is getting worse the older/stronger he gets. I try not to stress about it, but you worry about them so much, & want to help "fix" any problems. It's hard.

 

Hi Smiley.I thought it worth saying that whilst it is certainly worth keeping an eye on the anger and impulsive behaviour.However it would be very unlikely that CAMHS would diagnose a child with conduct disorder at such a young age.

I worked for some time as a lunch time supervisor in a nursery.If every boisterous,over active and impulsive boy had been diagnosed with a disorder that would have been most of the boys in the nursery.Sorry to anyone offended by the generalisation re boys...there were some very active rough girls too.

I think that if by the middle or end of primary a child was still exhibiting impulsive behaviour and lack of awareness then conduct disorder might be worth thinking about.However conduct disorder in a child who is not yet out of the foundation stage sounds a premature to me. Karen.

 

[Rhys' Mum]

His initial nursery documented everything; he was then given funding to go to a more specialised nursery, & again everything was documented & he was given an I.E.P. He started school in January, & prior to that the school (his teacher & the SENCo) came to visit him at the nursey & Rhys had visits to the school. His school have been supportive, but on their terms. He's got "1:1" support, but only until lunch time! They've put him on School Action Plus, & did agree to get him statemented; but they've since gone back on that. I've got a meeting with them this Tuesday to discuss/push for statementing - wish me luck!

 

Hi Rhys' mum Welcome to the Forum.

Have you got a school place that you are happy with for September ?Or is your child in school or nursery attached to a school already?

Have nursery documented what they have been doing ?

Has anyone got a plan to meet with school to plan what support your child will need ?

Sorry to start with lots of questions. Karen.

 

[Karen A]

Rhys is also on School Action Plus, & I've been in constant contact with the SENCo at his school. The school were looking to have him statemented, which is something the school & I agreed would be best, to get funding for him to have full time 1:1 support; but they've since gone back on that! A behavioural specialist went in to observe him, & I think off the back of that, they've decided "Getting Rhys statemented will make little difference at this time"!!? How they can say that when he's doing so much damage with the part time support that he currently gets! The support teacher he currently has, lovely as she is, does not have any ASD trainning. It's all very well reading up all the data his previous nursery gathered, or reports from previous specialists; but if you don't have the right trainning, you can't fully understand the condition. Anyway; I have an appointment with his school this coming Tuesday, so I'll be pushing that point.

 

I'd been getting quite depressed about picking him & being given a list of things he'd done wrong; I was being made to feel that I had to apologise for my son & they way he is. I then felt guilty that I wasn't backing is corner as it were, that I was letting him down. I arranged to have a parent/school communication book, so his teacher could just right about his day, rather than talking about it all in front of him. His teacher does use the book, but she still stands there & goes over the worst of his behaviour! Sorry - having a moan now... It's just so frustrating isn't it; I want to help, to try to provide answers or solutions for his school, but fact is, this is the way he is - what can I do? It's the constant aggression that's really getting me down. Do I just have to accept that it's something that can't be changed, & watch him constantly, be by his side to step in etc at all times? How do you manage you little boy? :0)

 

Hi.I do understand your frustration.

I think it would be worth making sure all of the intervention at School Action Plus is clearly documented.

Did you know you can appply for Statutary Assessment yourself ?

Fewer and fewer LA will agree to Assess now if they can help it however it might be worth thinking about asking.

School will need to show that they have done everything within their power using all available delegated funding at School Action plus with little impact before the LA will agree to asssess usually.That is why documented IEPS are important.

If there are incidents involving hitting other children or serious concerns about the safety of pupils or staff the school should also be documenting them in an incident book.

I know it is not nice having reports daily about difficult behaviour but at least if it is documented it demonstrates that school need support.It is allevidence to support assessment.Karen.

 

[Karen A]

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/sevenfixes.htm#RequestingAssessment

This might be useful.Karen.

[Karen A]

http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly....1763&a=8791

This one too.Karen.

[Karen A]

Rhys' behaviour what picked up at your boy's age; that's when Early Education Years came to see him at nursery, also Surrey Portage Play (who are invaluble) got involved; then he was put forward to the children's unit at the hospital by our doctor. It all moved quite smoothly to be honest, so I was lucky in that respect; & because his nursery couldn't really cope, he was given funding to go to a more specialised nursery with ASD experience, which did him the world of good. It just feels now that he's floundering now at shcool in terms of his social interaction. What help are you getting with your son; or do you know who you can contact? Your GP should be able to help. Thank you for your reply; I know where you're coming from!

 

Hi again.If Rhys' was supported through a nursery with Secialist experience in ASD I think it is reasonable to expect specific support and input from an outreach teacher who is an ASD specialist.It sounds like the current school do not have enough experience in ASD to manage which could well be what is impacting Rhys' behaviour.

Ben is 10 and has AS.He can disrupt half of the school when he is not adequately supported and then becomes anxious which escalates into challenging behaviour if staff do not know how to deal with him.

I have found that a lot of difficult behaviour arises due to lack of Social awareness.Ben becomes over stiulated or anxious and this impacts his behaviour.He does impulsive things as a result.The other thing Ben finds very difficult in school is where there is a lack of structure and he does not know what is happening.Again he can become anxious and this can escalate to disruptive or distracting behaviour if Ben is not supported in a way that is helpful.

If Rhys' is not being given enough support at school and is not coping then it could also be impacting his behaviour at home.I am not saying do not attempt to manage the behaviour at home.But it may be worth bearing in mind.

We have over the years had numerous occasions when Ben has been challenging at home.We have spent time attempting ti put plans in place at home in order to deal with difficulties we thought were at home only to then find there had been difficulties in school that we were unaware of.Karen.

 

[Karen A]

Sorry, silly me, would be helpful wouldn't it! A diagnosis for Aspergers.

 

<'> <'> Not silly at all.I just thought it worth checking.Ben had various dxs and working dxs before finally obtaining an AS dx a few months ago. Karen.

 

[Karen A]

I've not heard of those conditions before; but then I'd not heard of Aspergers before Rhys saw his consultant for the first time! I will look into it, as he is so young still, it is hard to pin point it fully; so it's worth looking at. Thank you very much.

 

Hi.If you already have a CAMHS team who are considering an AS dx and Rhys' is not being adequately supported in school then I think an ASD dx might turn out to be more helpful than a conduct disorder label.Just a personal opinion.As I have said elsewhere in the last few days it is important to obtain provision that will enable your child to be appropriately supported re Social Communication Difficulties.A conduct disorder dx would not do this as it is not within the ASD spectrum.Karen.

Edited April 19, 2009 by Karen A

[Karen A]

It's a fair comment, but in Rhys' case, he does also demonstrate other trates for Aspergers; allbeit on the mild end. Before he went to nursery I did just put it down to him being a boisterous boy, as he was my first & I had nothing to compare his behaviour too. His nursery however, came to me with concerns they had, certain signs that perhaps there was something more underline. I do hope every day that it is something he will grow out of, but frustratingly, he is getting worse the older/stronger he gets. I try not to stress about it, but you worry about them so much, & want to help "fix" any problems. It's hard.

 

Hi.I had better be very clear in the light of your other newer posts.

I do not think that the behaviour you describe may not warrent an ASD diagnosis.I was responding regarding the other possible labels.

ASD can be diagnosed in younger children.Difficult behaviour often arises due to lack of social understanding.

I did not intend to suggest that your child was the same as all the others in the nursery,sorry if I confused you by being unclear.

Conduct disorder is a different disorder which is usually not diagnosed unless older children and most often teenagers contiue to exhibit behaviour that would be considered seriously outside of the norm.I do not think it is a helpful label personally.I certainly don't think it would be a helpul label for a young child with AS who was exhibiting challenging behviour due to lack of understanding of social situations.

I was really responding specifically to the suggestion that parents of children of nusery age should be considering Conduct Disorder as a possible potential diagnosis.An idea which I don't feel comfortable with. Karen.

 

[Karen A]

His initial nursery documented everything; he was then given funding to go to a more specialised nursery, & again everything was documented & he was given an I.E.P. He started school in January, & prior to that the school (his teacher & the SENCo) came to visit him at the nursey & Rhys had visits to the school. His school have been supportive, but on their terms. He's got "1:1" support, but only until lunch time! They've put him on School Action Plus, & did agree to get him statemented; but they've since gone back on that. I've got a meeting with them this Tuesday to discuss/push for statementing - wish me luck!

 

Hi.Out of interest do you think Rhys needs support at lunch time ?

I ask because unstructured times like lunch time are exactly the times when Ben most needs support.

It is very common for children with AS to cope fairly well during structured lessons.

Breaktimes when there is no structure and lots of social interaction are when difficulties arise.

Children with AS do not often fit the standard ''SEN support box'' unfortunately where TAs provide support in the morning for children who have difficulties with numercy and literacy.

It may be worth attempting to put together a case for support to be provided during unstructured times.It can be done.

Ben has full time support via a Statement.Karen.

 

[wasuup]

Rhys' behaviour what picked up at your boy's age; that's when Early Education Years came to see him at nursery, also Surrey Portage Play (who are invaluble) got involved; then he was put forward to the children's unit at the hospital by our doctor. It all moved quite smoothly to be honest, so I was lucky in that respect; & because his nursery couldn't really cope, he was given funding to go to a more specialised nursery with ASD experience, which did him the world of good. It just feels now that he's floundering now at shcool in terms of his social interaction. What help are you getting with your son; or do you know who you can contact? Your GP should be able to help. Thank you for your reply; I know where you're coming from!

 

We have held off sending him to pre-school or nursery as he an August Baby. We will see if he settles down and what September brings when he starts nursery. He does toe walk, flexible jointed and is pigeon toed so falls over a lot but talks alot more and seems to understand a lot more than his brother did at this age who is nearly 5 and being assessed for ASD and Dyspraxia.

 

[smiley1590]

sorry if caused upset and offence in any way i have AS personally myself and dyspraxia if need any more info on that feel to ask!

[NickyB]

Rhys is also on School Action Plus, & I've been in constant contact with the SENCo at his school. The school were looking to have him statemented, which is something the school & I agreed would be best, to get funding for him to have full time 1:1 support; but they've since gone back on that! A behavioural specialist went in to observe him, & I think off the back of that, they've decided "Getting Rhys statemented will make little difference at this time"!!? How they can say that when he's doing so much damage with the part time support that he currently gets! The support teacher he currently has, lovely as she is, does not have any ASD trainning. It's all very well reading up all the data his previous nursery gathered, or reports from previous specialists; but if you don't have the right trainning, you can't fully understand the condition. Anyway; I have an appointment with his school this coming Tuesday, so I'll be pushing that point.

 

Good luck for Tuesday - our SENCO didn't apply for a statement until now, as they wanted to see how he got on with school action plus. Maybe once Rhys has been at school for a while, they will decide to apply. I guess it depends on the support they are able to provide using school action plus.

 

I'd been getting quite depressed about picking him & being given a list of things he'd done wrong; I was being made to feel that I had to apologise for my son & they way he is. I then felt guilty that I wasn't backing is corner as it were, that I was letting him down. I arranged to have a parent/school communication book, so his teacher could just right about his day, rather than talking about it all in front of him. His teacher does use the book, but she still stands there & goes over the worst of his behaviour! Sorry - having a moan now... It's just so frustrating isn't it; I want to help, to try to provide answers or solutions for his school, but fact is, this is the way he is - what can I do? It's the constant aggression that's really getting me down. Do I just have to accept that it's something that can't be changed, & watch him constantly, be by his side to step in etc at all times? How do you manage you little boy? :0)

 

I know what you mean about hearing all the negatives when you go to pick them up. Thankfully, DSs class teacher has realised the need for positives as well, and she always tells me when he's done something good I work in the school kitchen, and the TA will often come into the hall if he's done something particularly good (although I do also hear the meltdowns, too )

As far as his behaviour is concerned I don't accept that DS can't change - it just takes a long time to get there. At home we send him to sit on the stairs (at the bottom!!) if he hits or kicks. He's really not liking that at the moment and gets very upset. We are sticking to our guns, though, and are beginning to see signs of inprovement. Of course they are all different, and it might take a whilt to find out what works for Rhys.

 

Take care

Nicky <'>

 

 

 

[Karen A]

sorry if caused upset and offence in any way i have AS personally myself and dyspraxia if need any more info on that feel to ask!

 

<'> <'> I do not think you caused anyone offence or upsett anyone.Sorry if my post was a bit strongly worded.I did not intend that you felt bad. Karen.

[Rhys' Mum]

Gosh, you've got your hands full... I wonder every now & again if my youngest may have the same condition, but it's more likely to be 'learned' behaviour. Starting pre-school/nursery often helps settle kids down, & people tend to find their children behave different at school than they do at home (they love to play up for their mummy's don't they!) Rhys didn't 'settle' down, or get worn out, & he behaved the same at nursery as he did at home; you just have to wait & see I guess. Good luck with it though, I'm sure he'll thoroughly enjoy it.

 

We have held off sending him to pre-school or nursery as he an August Baby. We will see if he settles down and what September brings when he starts nursery. He does toe walk, flexible jointed and is pigeon toed so falls over a lot but talks alot more and seems to understand a lot more than his brother did at this age who is nearly 5 and being assessed for ASD and Dyspraxia.

 

[Rhys' Mum]

That's exactly what Rhys needs I feel. He needs to be shadowed constantly by someone who knows what signs/triggers to watch for, & exactly the best strategies to use. The lady who supports him is lovely, & has lots of pre-school experience, but as I keep stressing to his SENCo, they need proper trainning. I don't think it's too much to ask, it can only benfit everyone involved surely?

 

Hi.Out of interest do you think Rhys needs support at lunch time ?

I ask because unstructured times like lunch time are exactly the times when Ben most needs support.

It is very common for children with AS to cope fairly well during structured lessons.

Breaktimes when there is no structure and lots of social interaction are when difficulties arise.

Children with AS do not often fit the standard ''SEN support box'' unfortunately where TAs provide support in the morning for children who have difficulties with numercy and literacy.

It may be worth attempting to put together a case for support to be provided during unstructured times.It can be done.

Ben has full time support via a Statement.Karen.