Recent diagnosis - 5 year old

[bettyhen]

My son has just been diagnosed as having mild asperger's syndrome. He is quirky and eccentric but also has terrible meltdowns when thwarted in any way. I'm good at spotting the signs but as real life approaches, it is hard to protect him from himself.

 

At the moment he is coping reasonably well at school though he is concerned about the potential of other children not liking him. This is inevitable through as he cannot share well and although intellectually he understands appropriate behaviour, he can't always conform. He still reacts like a two year old to minor problems - crying dramatically, hitting out and so on. He tries hard there though and I would say is less himself at school than at home where he is imaginative, questioning and like a much older boy when we discuss things. Verbally he is quite precocious, I think, though I'm not sure that shows at school.

 

I am dreading going back through as when he started he was hitting and kicking staff and children for 6 weeks. I can't take a repeat of this!

 

I've been reading through the messages and find people's experiences really interesting and helpful. This is a great forum!

[Tally]

Hello, and welcome to the forum.

 

I am an adult with Asperger's. I found it very hard to fit in at school, but didn't have any support as I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood.

 

Social Stories can be a good way of explaining appropriate behaviour. It can be hard in the heat of the moment, but if you keep on explaining situations to him, it will eventually seep through.

 

Do you have any support in place to help him through the first few weeks of term?

[Teresa]

Hi and welcome to the forum

 

Hope you get the help/understanding needed for your son when he starts back at school.

 

 

Teresa

[NickyB]

My son has just been diagnosed as having mild asperger's syndrome. He is quirky and eccentric but also has terrible meltdowns when thwarted in any way. I'm good at spotting the signs but as real life approaches, it is hard to protect him from himself.

 

At the moment he is coping reasonably well at school though he is concerned about the potential of other children not liking him. This is inevitable through as he cannot share well and although intellectually he understands appropriate behaviour, he can't always conform. He still reacts like a two year old to minor problems - crying dramatically, hitting out and so on. He tries hard there though and I would say is less himself at school than at home where he is imaginative, questioning and like a much older boy when we discuss things. Verbally he is quite precocious, I think, though I'm not sure that shows at school.

 

I am dreading going back through as when he started he was hitting and kicking staff and children for 6 weeks. I can't take a repeat of this!

 

I've been reading through the messages and find people's experiences really interesting and helpful. This is a great forum!

 

Hello bettyhen and welcome

 

My son (he's 6) has had problems with his behaviour at school, but things have improved in the last term. The staff have worked really hard to find out what makes him anxious and develop ways of reducing this anxiety. He has had 1-2-1 teaching for the last term, and had his own workstation away from the classroom which helped him as he has sensory issues with too much background noise. I'm a bit nervous about September but he has spent a few days in his new classroom and we've had lots of talks with his new teacher, so I don't think there's any more we can do.

 

I hope your boy is OK when he goes back - the best advice I can give is to keep talking to his teachers and tell them if you think of anything which might help.

 

Take care

 

Nicky <'>

[bettyhen]

Off to my mum's for a few days. Will reply properly at the weekend.

[bettyhen]

Thanks for your replies.

 

No, there's nothing in place for the beginning of term. To be honest, we wanted to change school being unhappy with the teaching generally, but after discussing it with the school, they felt that he would struggle with the change. He'll still have lots of change through because the Y1s in his class will go and the new reception children will start. He will find it difficult. Also, he is fairly vile at the moment, having huge tantrums about minor issues and looking much odder than before in terms of his posture and gestures so I don't know if the ASD is getting worse or if he's just disorientated by not going to school.

 

I've got an appointment with the SENCO on the second Wednesday back, so any difficulties should have arisen by then. I'm not sure how effective she is as a SENCO though as she only works one morning a week! I suspect I'm going to have to plan what I want from an IEP so any advice will be gratefully received!

 

[emma in wiltshire]

Your son's behaviour sounds very similar to my son's. My son is 7 and is at a mainstream primary school. He has just gone into year 3. He has terrible meltdowns/outbursts, but at times is just quirky. The main source of anxiety for me is not knowing how he will develop as he gets older.

[thomastank]

 

 

Hello and welcome. My son is 5 and has a diagnosis of HFA. He's staying with the new recpetion children too. Second day back today and so far so good, I think he was looking forward to getting back to the routine. Is your son back now? Something that has helped us with certain situations is cartoon drawings, we draw stick men to illustrate certain behavious/situations and show the end result that makes mum/dad/teacher/siblings happy. Does your son have visual timetables etc.? are the teachers understanding?

 

Take Care.

[Mum of 3]

Hi Bettyhen, you could be describing my little boy there, but he doesn't do anything naughty at school-in fact he's 'gooder than gold', as he says

 

The Ed Psych says she's never seen such a marked difference between home/school behaviour, and is really intrigued about why. All we can come up with is that he's obsessed with 'the law', and not breaking it (rules at home don't count-I'm not a police woman!).

 

I'm thinking that, as your DS only did the hitting/kicking for (I presume) the first 6 weeks last year, he probably won't start again, as he had 2 and a half terms of not doing it after the half a term of doing it.

 

Also, it might be a good thing that he's staying in the same class for another year...He won't be the only one from his Y1 group, and he will still have the same teacher, room, routines, etc, which will be far more comforting for him than starting in a new class, albeit with the same children.

 

Hopefully he's had a good week, and all is well. Let us know how he got on! <'>

 

 

[smiley1590]

alot different today education system wise information support help greatly improving though along way still to go before it's there!!! i think understanding and sympathic professionals with official diagnosis are the main key to help child thrive and sucess and supportive family parents etc in background backing them all the way!!! i struggled all through school so much mentally/emotionally bullying all sorts i didn't have brill school life something i can't never regain but glad hope for others kids out there like me not being reached!! we were missed which now means others are being saved from our pain heartache misery i had judgemental paedtrician and SENCO OT teamed up against my parents got told overprotective and made up conditions to label me with to get attention like MBP totally lies and untrue!!! i wasn't found until late at least your son found early enough for the right SEN support to meet his individual needs he has!! he deserves to be happy healthy like others his age!! to be respected!!just be him with small group of friends he can talk to not feel lonely isolated etc break free from what i had like so many others times are slowly changing there is glimmer of hope within this situations of sadness of lost childhoods you can't never replace!! stolen!! they can of your son!!! i had anxiety all way attachment /trust probs (can you blame me!!) see why now!sorry to go on didn't mean too or take over this post! with my thread!

 

good luck to your son-wish him all the best!!

 

take care

XKLX

[bettyhen]

Thanks very much for your replies. It's helpful to know that other people have quirky kids and similar issues. He's due back at school tomorrow and has been foul for two days so I hope he's getting it out of his system here rather than saving it for school! He told me last night that he was worried but couldn't explain why. He did say that sometimes the other children won't play with him but I suspect that sometimes that means that they won't play the games that he wants to play! I said I was worreid about going back to school too (I teach p't in Secondary) and said I was worried that the children might be naughty. He said that he through they would be naughty because they wouldn't want to be back at school...I hope that as Mum of 3 said he remembers the 2.5 terms of not hitting rather than the 6 weeks of lashing out. By the end of the year he was very well behaved and very rule based.

 

School don't do visual timetables etc but I am meeting the SENCO a week on Wednesday to draw up an IEP and may mention that as a suggestion. He is a child who needs to know exactly what is happening and to have multiple warnings that activities are going to change. He's being very AS at the moment but I think his behaviour seems to be exacerbated by the stress of change coming. He was much better when we were on holiday - we went round Doune Castle and he listened to the tape they give people (read by a Monty Python actor) and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He kept asking me questions about the Scottish throne afterwards.

 

Well, here's hoping tomorrow goes well.

[bettyhen]

Well, it's been mixed. He hasn't hit anyone and has been enjoying himself, I think, but getting him there is tough. He says he doesn't want to go and needs to be dragged away. He was better on Friday apparently when my husband dropped him off.

 

Saturday was disastrous though - he said he wanted swimming lessons (despite not being keen on water) and we went for the first lesson but he hid behind me and refused to get in. We sat and watched for half an hour. He was really keen until he got undressed but then couldn't cope. When my husband takes him he struggles but will swim in the end. We'll try again next week but it's difficult to know what to do.