Anger and what causes it

[Sa Skimrande]

I have to ask about anger, yes, I know it is an emotional response, and I do suffer quite badly from it, one of my reasons for being quite reclusive as what fires my anger, is injustice and in the outside world, I see lots of that, it is everywhere. I try to ignore it, knowing the consequences, turn the other cheek, but it is so powerful, it is as if I feel the hurt of others and feel compelled to do something about it, but often it is the way, me like the person or persons I feel for are powerless or inept at dealing with the cause of the hurt, which to me leads to more anger, and that anger directed at myself for my failure to help.

 

The self anger leads to depression, I know now where that comes from, the thing that has ailed me more than anything else through my life, depression because of self anger. Anger, I know is linked to confusion and am wondering if this thing that has ailed so long, is an ASD trait.

 

Does anyone else here who is ASD recognise anything I have written within themselves, is anger typical of ASD situations ?

 

If you feel anger as a common occurence, what fires your anger ?

[Felicity]

Hey,

 

Yeah I get a lot more angry than what's probably normal over 'injustice'. I just thought I was nicer than everyone else, defeats me why it could be tied to ASD though. Aren't people with asd meant to be more insightful? We think about behaviour a lot more than those who it comes natural to, so we're angry as a result of our deeper insight. We might be able to empathise better with suffering, given our own experiences of a harsh social world.

[sesley]

from what i see in my son,with ASD, is that he can explode very quickly with no warning. but usually he is worked up to it by frustration by himself at us for not doing what he wants or out of frustration at himself,for not understanding partiuclar concepts and situations.

Edited October 4, 2009 by sesley

[Tally]

I don't think anger is specifically an ASD trait, but I think it can often stem from an inability to recognise and verbalise emotions. When people start to get angry they can talk about the thing that is irritating them or think about other things to keep themselves calm. People with ASD might not be able to put their irritation into words, may not recognise that they are angry until it is very severe, or may perseverate on issues instead of being able to think about other things. All these things may lead to angry outbursts, but it really doesn't sound like the thought processes that you describe!

[JsMum]

 

 

 

The problems your having I think is the way your dealing with your Anger, you already answered your question of what causes YOUR anger and that is INJUSTICE however many people feel the same, but it is how they deal with it that is important, Anger is normal and healthy but it is how you deal with it that makes a difference, self destructive coping skills wont change the injustice, your depression wont stop the injustice, but reacting to how you feel will, look at coping stratagies and ways that can help YOU.

 

There is loads of tips on the internet, just put in search engine dealing with Anger, or health ways to cope with ANGER, the problem you have is the way your dealing with it.

 

Everyone gets Angry, but its what we do that makes a difference, some people respond where it harms others or themself and others internalise it, others manage with the feelings and emotions and get throw it in a healthy way.

 

Good Luck.

 

JsMumxxx

 

[justine1]

from what i see in my son,with ASD, is that he can explode very quickly with no warning. but usually he is worked up to it by frustration by himself at us for not doing what he wants or out of frustration at himself,for not understanding partiuclar concepts and situations.

 

Hi

I agree,my son's anger is usually connected to frustration,he never used to be violent,just like a normal tantrum-kicking and screaming but when he started school he started hitting others.He gets angry if people rush him or tell him what to do when he knows what to do(if that makes sense)he has a problem with people shouting and does not like sharing his friends,saying this at home it is rare that he gets angry and I have learnt to speak to him in a way he understands before he gets violent,unfortunatley this does not help at school or in public.One thing that does annoy me is that for two years now I have heard the comment "he is such an angry boy" this is untrue he is a lovely boy who has angry outbursts occasionally!

[trekster]

Hello

 

I'm easily angered at the moment. In my case it's my depression and at times my inability to get the words out properly.

Not being understood causes a lot of anger in me. Benzoates also cause problems with me as well.

 

Sudden changes i cannot understand or control or peoples reactions to my words or behaviour cause a lot of angry reactions in me.

i wish i could cry when im upset instead of shouting and raging!

 

i try and channel my anger into giving talks and probably sounded a bit angry at the beginning of my advocacy talk recently.

Also acting out my angry situations with my playmobils in front of understanding support people helps because we both end up

finding the situation hilarious.

 

Getting angry due to being rushed is because it causes panic in us. We then cant remember what we're doing or meant to be doing

and our brain freezes. The last distraction that precipitated this brain freeze ends up getting the blame.

 

Emotional control and regulation is an executive function that autistics often have problems with. If i laugh for example i really laugh

rarely is it a chuckle.

 

Who rushes him? Wouldn't 5 or 10 minute warnings help him transition to the next activity? what about social stories about what good friends

are and why we need to share our friends.

 

Alexis

[justine1]

Hello

 

I'm easily angered at the moment. In my case it's my depression and at times my inability to get the words out properly.

Not being understood causes a lot of anger in me. Benzoates also cause problems with me as well.

 

Sudden changes i cannot understand or control or peoples reactions to my words or behaviour cause a lot of angry reactions in me.

i wish i could cry when im upset instead of shouting and raging!

 

i try and channel my anger into giving talks and probably sounded a bit angry at the beginning of my advocacy talk recently.

Also acting out my angry situations with my playmobils in front of understanding support people helps because we both end up

finding the situation hilarious.

 

Getting angry due to being rushed is because it causes panic in us. We then cant remember what we're doing or meant to be doing

and our brain freezes. The last distraction that precipitated this brain freeze ends up getting the blame.

 

Emotional control and regulation is an executive function that autistics often have problems with. If i laugh for example i really laugh

rarely is it a chuckle.

 

Who rushes him? Wouldn't 5 or 10 minute warnings help him transition to the next activity? what about social stories about what good friends

are and why we need to share our friends.

 

Alexis

Thank you Alexis!I wish the school can understand this because right now he just seems "naughty" to them.It is his friends and siblings who rush him,my eldest son is a bit cruel at times he knows how to wind him up!I used to rush him until I realised I was causing him distress so for three years now I give him lots of time he always gets things done in his own time!Thanks I will be sitting down with and doing social stories its a great idea,he does get upset when he harms others but at times I feel its not so much the hitting that upsets him but rather that he gets told off for it.Thanks again enjoyed your post.

 

[trekster]

Your welcome

 

i was actually quite angry about something else on another autistic forum at the time so its good to appreciated. If you explain that "due to my sons autism he cannot transition easily from one activity to another. When he is reminded of this fact it gets him very upset which is why he lashes out". Then suggest something they could use with him, eg "when i give you a pen it mean we have to move onto the next activity".

 

High Scope teaching is something you can look for in a good school. It is where the child takes responsibility in effect for their own learning. Each child will have their own peg to hang their coat with their name and something that reminds them its their peg. Also they have a board with their name and the same symbol as their peg which they carry around the room with the teacher to choose their activity. The names are hung up next to their planned activity so the child can see when something is full.

 

If an activity is full some children have been known to negotiate with others so they can use the activity after them. Other times the teacher intervenes and helps them to choose another activity. After so long all change and children move onto another activity. If taught at an early age this method can aid childrens learning. i had it at my nursery school and although i could play in the right areas i couldn't play with the other kids.

 

High scope was developed in america in special schools and has been known to improve kids confidence and well being. i was trying to find something more concrete on their site but didn't see anything so this is all from grans memory and shes not in the UK atm!

 

http://www.highscope.org/Content.asp?ContentId=1

 

Alexis