Dillyn Report post Posted December 3, 2009 I always feel like killing my family. I get the urge to just grab a knife and stab them all, they are so annoying i hate them. They think that they are better than me and that they know me when they don't. They try and boss me around and they are all f***ing idiots i hate them all. I have 2 older sisters, 1 older brother, 5 younger brothers and 2 younger sisters. I cannot talk to any of them about anything. I completley ignore them when possible they just annoy me so much, i never get angry like this. They know what annoys me - the sounds of clothes rubbing and nails clicking and they use this to get their way over me. I feel like killing them right now. Am i over-reacting? Any advice? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted December 3, 2009 I would say if your seriously thinking this and that it turns out you could do it, you need to get urgent help and support, your local A and E will listen to you and ensure that you get help straight away, your in a very large family that will make it very difficult to ensure you get your needs met, it maybe that your whole family need further support too so that they can understand your feelings more. I would say you need urgent help JsMumxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KezT Report post Posted December 3, 2009 It is fairly normal to feel a lot of anger towards your family at your age - I did and don't even have the excuse of ASD;) But if it is really "all the time" and/or having a major impact on your home life, you should definitle talk to someone about it. Do you see CAMHS at all? or you can talk to your GP - or phone childline/the samaritans or similar. If you think you may act on those feelings, or if you have ever found yourself actually physically trying to hurt others (or yourself), take JsMum's advice and go down to A&E for immediate help - the problem with actions is that they can not be taken back when you calm down..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted December 3, 2009 Hi Dilly, Well I'm a lot older than you but I think I probably felt similar feelings of rage when I was in my teens - and I only had 2 parents to deal with. Have you really got 10 siblings? That's a lot of people to potentially annoy you. I doubt whether you really want to kill them, but if you have a pillow nearby you might want to punch it really hard - lots of times. That might help for the moment. You could also talk about what's upset you on here if you want to. K x. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dillyn Report post Posted December 3, 2009 Alright, i have calmed down now. I had to look at my special pictures and listen to the special music i have got that calms me down. I think i did overreact. sorry. Its just, my family dont understand me. They annoy me thinking its funny when inside im dying and if i told them this they would laugh more. I had a rough day at school, im over it now. sorry. thanks for the advice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted December 3, 2009 Sorry too if I over reacted in my reply but I really wouldnt want you to face the consequences of you actually going throw with your feelings, relieved now its just a feeling and not what you really want to do, and pleased to see you have a good outlet with music and other stratagies, Im sorry your family dont understand you, it must be really difficult to live with so many people and not getting your needs met, do you recieve any support with gp or a councillor? JsMumxx <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dillyn Report post Posted December 3, 2009 Sorry too if I over reacted in my reply but I really wouldnt want you to face the consequences of you actually going throw with your feelings, relieved now its just a feeling and not what you really want to do, and pleased to see you have a good outlet with music and other stratagies, Im sorry your family dont understand you, it must be really difficult to live with so many people and not getting your needs met, do you recieve any support with gp or a councillor? JsMumxx <'> Dont worry, you didnt over react thanks for the advice. I dont really see anyone as i have just moved house recently and have changed boroughs to another council so they havent transferred my details yet. I am hoping they do this soon. The school nurse always asks me if i am okay but i dont really like to talk to her because i only trust certain people and i am not looking forward to new social workers aand meeting my new GP because i wont know them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted December 3, 2009 Dont worry, you didnt over react thanks for the advice. I dont really see anyone as i have just moved house recently and have changed boroughs to another council so they havent transferred my details yet. I am hoping they do this soon. The school nurse always asks me if i am okay but i dont really like to talk to her because i only trust certain people and i am not looking forward to new social workers aand meeting my new GP because i wont know them. Your school nurse could be a way in to get that person you could trust, can you write down your feelings at all, write her a letter that you dont trust easily and your worried about even seeing a new gp and social worker, let her know this as Im sure she would support you, she could maybe even arrange it with you, if you could open up a little bit with her she may even accompany you so that you at least know the school nurse, if she is asking if your oright, she maybe is worried about you, which shows she cares about you and she wouldnt of been interested in the role if she didnt care. I can understand why its hard to trust but by remaining closed we dont let anyone in and that wont get what you need and its soo positive that you would like to arrange a councillor, there may even be a councilling service the school nurse knows about too that may be more apropriate for you. Write her a short letter, even if you dont manage to give her it and you rip it up, its a start for now. Jsmumxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dillyn Report post Posted December 3, 2009 Thats a really good idea, thanks. I like to write my feeling down but this never occured to me. I think that i will do it now. Thanks for help. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted December 3, 2009 Thats a really good idea, thanks. I like to write my feeling down but this never occured to me. I think that i will do it now. Thanks for help. <'> I write regularly, I have a personal note book or journel, if you can treat yourself and you have any pocket money treat yourself this weekend to a funky pen that makes you feel like smiling, and a funky pad to keep as your special writing time. That way you have a release, afterwards you either keep it or destroy, its about getting it out so you dont have to bottle the feelings you have, but the writing the School Nurse will help you with the first step of connecting with her, so if you do get to the stage where you could give her a letter then that will help her understand you too. JsMumxxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted December 4, 2009 Alright, i have calmed down now. I had to look at my special pictures and listen to the special music i have got that calms me down. I think i did overreact. sorry. Its just, my family dont understand me. They annoy me thinking its funny when inside im dying and if i told them this they would laugh more. I had a rough day at school, im over it now. sorry. thanks for the advice. Could you try and have access to an asperger club in your area? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) Hi Dillyn I have a 7 year old son who has AS. He talks a lot about such things and he isn't so able to hold back as you are doing and it's causes a great deal of worry and stress all round. I contacted YoungMinds who were able to arrange for a 50 minute phone consultation with a professional. They handle mental health issues and feelings and I found that they were knowledgeable about AS, etc. You've been given some good advise here, but wonder if YoungMinds might be worth a try too: http://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-people I bought my son a book called 'Volcano in my tummy' aimed a 6 - 13 year olds primarily. Prices vary, but I've seen it available for £4. I think R found it quite helpful. It helped him to articulate how he was feeling and gave some good tips. Caroline. Edited December 4, 2009 by cmuir Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sesley Report post Posted December 4, 2009 can you get to talk to a physologist to help you cope with your feelings,it might be worth seeing your GP for a refereal to get some help if these feelings are serious enough to think of harming your own family. Hopefully when you calm down and thinking more logical,the feelings of harm for your faimly come with some regret if thats possible for you to feel that.If you continue to get these feelings go to see your GP and ask for a phsycology referal . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted December 4, 2009 sounds like mixed emotions /feelings 'bottled up' inside of you as trying to run hide and stuff them deep within you ... but catches up with you and that scares you the most dangerous thoughts can soon turn into something alot more so please speak to someone about this don't keep it to yourself you sound angry frustrated depressed etc you been having any other thoughts too or just that? XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
