It was a disaster

[Paula]

Well my sons interview was a monumental disaster.

 

Not realy his fault.

 

The school he goes to had messed up big time and theyd applied for the course for him.The coure in question was utterly unsuitable and far beyond his capabilities.I smelt a rat when i was the only parent there with him and all these "normal" kids came in on theire own totally not like my son.Then the teacher at the interview started banging on about bad behaviour ect ect and it became apparent that this was a course aimed at kids whod been excluded from pervious education.Then he had to do a test and he hadnt a clue and i couldnt help him and his writeing was illegible.......then hed to have a formal interview where he refused to speak........then the lady goes will he be ok going to Leeds on his own to do asignments and the look fo horror that came over his face said it all and i pointed out he was unable to go to leeds without adult supervision and then she says oh has he got a statement for special education .she hadnt a clue...............and then hed to do a free style written piece of work and he refused to do it.

 

 

Dont think he made the grade somehow.

 

Afterwards i said what do you think and he just shook his head and said it was a disaster.............

 

 

Im going to phone the college mon day tell them theres been a ###### up and try and apply for the corrfect course.........if its too late then hell be leaving school on the 25th June well have to attend the connexsions place and waite untill he can apply for the correct course.

 

This mess up has happend because the bloomeing teacher at his school insisted the kids applied for courses themselves without parents interfearance and then when my son brought the form home he kicked of when i questioned him about the course and not realy knowing much about stuff its gone pear shaped.

 

 

Oh well ............start again..............

 

 

 

 

[Mandapanda]

Hi Paula

 

Oh dear - poor you <'> <'> <'>

[puffin]

That sounds awful - did the school actually research whether this was an appropriate programme? I guess you need to get back to the school to find something suitable

[oxgirl]

So sorry to hear it didn't go well, Paula. Are there any other courses that would be appropriate for him?

 

~ Mel ~

[Paula]

Ive phoned the college this morning and spoken to someone and they agree it is the wrong course totally unsuitable.

 

he should have applied for the foundation lifeskills course at entry level..............no written work,all pratical stuff that he needs to learn for independant liveing or to help him with it.

 

Someone is going to call me later today and well take it from there.

 

Ive called the school and played hell over the teacher invovled.The school is great.........a special school.........this blasted teacher is a new teacher and hasnt known my son very long less than a year and its this idiot whos applied for this course for my son.......ive told the school he needs to research the courses before applying for them for the kids and that i dont want the school invovled any more after this balls up ill sort it all out.............

 

As ususal you end up doing there jobs for them.........

[chris54]

Cant really comment on your own situation but generally there is not a cutoff point (Date) for applying for college courses, the cut of point is when they are full. It is often the case that students start a courses only to realise after a week or two that it is wrong for them and then switch to another course mid stream.

 

Both my stepchildren did this when they realised that the academic demands where beyond their abilities.(more a case of to much like hard work!)

 

Can you apply direct to the college yourself, I seem to think that was the way my step children did things, their school had nothing to do with it.

 

 

[baddad]

Hi Paula -

really sorry it went badly, and I hope the foundation course will work out...

 

Hope you don't mind me saying, though, that I think you're being a bit harsh on the school and the new teacher. I appreciate that it might be because you're upset/frustrated, but I did recall from posting wishing you luck in the other thread that you seemed fully involved and in agreement with the course selection:

 

My son has got his interview for college this friday.............fingers crossed.........hes hopeing to go in at a slightly higher level because he can read and write and do maths and knows how to tell the time and knows the money system........hes hopeing to get onto the skills for life and work course..............he should be ok.

 

It's probably just as hard (maybe even harder) for the school to advise your son than it is for you to do so, and it may well be that if they had 'pushed' him towards the foundation course you (and he) would have felt they were in the wrong for doing so.

 

Anyhoo - very best with the foundation course and getting a place etc. Don't know if it's the same nationally, but locally there were two courses - one 'skills for life' and another 'skills for work' - when my nephew was looking a few years ago. he was made keen to get into work so only did one, but he's more recently started a night school class to learn more money management skills and will probably do the 'computing driving test' next year, so it's never too late.

 

L&P

 

BD

[Paula]

baddad

 

I wasnt invovled in the aplication.

 

id visited the college and spoken to the special needs coordinator agout the foundation lifeskills course and this is the course that i wanted my son to go on.

 

I informed the school and then my son said that all the forms had been filled in at school for the college courses.......i said who by........ and he said his teacher had sorted it out.We then got a letter invoteing him for an interview and along we went and when i got to the interview and she stared to talk about the course and what it invovled i thought hold on a minute this isnt the course i discussed with the special needs co ordinator and talked to the school about ....alarm bells rang but i couldnt say anything because my son has a tendancie to kick of if he thinks youre interfearing......but sometimes interfear you must......but not in front of other more able pupils.......i know they were more able because theyd attended the interview alone and they were all talking togetrher like "normal " kids of that age do my son was like a thumb in a finger factory.

 

yes my son can read and can do basic maths and can tell the time and pay for things in a shop...........when i say he can write ,what i mean is he is able to use a computer ...he is unable to use a pen....havent a clue why he just finds the comination of thinking what to write and then holding a pen and putting it onto paper a nightmare....his writing is illegible because of this .............at his special school he does everything via a computer key board.......he also sits so called exams with a support worker who reads the question to him,he then gives the answer if he knows it and they fill in the answer thats how they do it at his school........so you see a course that is based on doing asignments written is totally unsuitable, a course that expects him to go unaided to Leeds on fact finding missions is beyond him.......

 

I dont totally blame the teacher but somewhere along the r oad he should have called me and said what was happening.......and before you start on at me baddad saying why didnt i get in touch with the school ive been in touch with the school every single week sometimes twice a week since xmas........talking about all this ,about college suitable courses whats needed ect,i also spent almost two hours at the college meeting with all the teacher s and pupils discussing stuff,ive also been in constant contact with my sons case worker discussing stuff so id better not be hearing anything dissing my parenting skills ........i know what youre like.

 

Youve it all to come baddad and i tell you now it isnt easy and even the most invovled parent can get ignored and brushed aside by well meaning teachers in the process of prepareing youre kid for the next stage.

[baddad]

baddad

 

I wasnt invovled in the aplication.

 

id visited the college and spoken to the special needs coordinator agout the foundation lifeskills course and this is the course that i wanted my son to go on.

 

I informed the school and then my son said that all the forms had been filled in at school for the college courses.......i said who by........ and he said his teacher had sorted it out.We then got a letter invoteing him for an interview and along we went and when i got to the interview and she stared to talk about the course and what it invovled i thought hold on a minute this isnt the course i discussed with the special needs co ordinator and talked to the school about ....alarm bells rang but i couldnt say anything because my son has a tendancie to kick of if he thinks youre interfearing......but sometimes interfear you must......but not in front of other more able pupils.......i know they were more able because theyd attended the interview alone and they were all talking togetrher like "normal " kids of that age do my son was like a thumb in a finger factory.

 

yes my son can read and can do basic maths and can tell the time and pay for things in a shop...........when i say he can write ,what i mean is he is able to use a computer ...he is unable to use a pen....havent a clue why he just finds the comination of thinking what to write and then holding a pen and putting it onto paper a nightmare....his writing is illegible because of this .............at his special school he does everything via a computer key board.......he also sits so called exams with a support worker who reads the question to him,he then gives the answer if he knows it and they fill in the answer thats how they do it at his school........so you see a course that is based on doing asignments written is totally unsuitable, a course that expects him to go unaided to Leeds on fact finding missions is beyond him.......

 

I dont totally blame the teacher but somewhere along the r oad he should have called me and said what was happening.......and before you start on at me baddad saying why didnt i get in touch with the school ive been in touch with the school every single week sometimes twice a week since xmas........talking about all this ,about college suitable courses whats needed ect,i also spent almost two hours at the college meeting with all the teacher s and pupils discussing stuff,ive also been in constant contact with my sons case worker discussing stuff so id better not be hearing anything dissing my parenting skills ........i know what youre like.

 

Youve it all to come baddad and i tell you now it isnt easy and even the most invovled parent can get ignored and brushed aside by well meaning teachers in the process of prepareing youre kid for the next stage.

 

 

I'm not 'starting on at you' and if you think I've got any interest in 'dissing parenting skills' you obviously haven't got a clue "what I'm like" . The simple fact is - regardless of how much time you've spent discussing it - the course your son applied for wasn't a suitable one and you're now, regardless of all those hours you've put into helping him make that decision, blaming his school for that, despite your earlier post saying you had full knowledge of what he was applying for and thought he would be okay. If that's 'dissing' then 'diss I did', but don't shoot the messenger, eh?

 

I may well 'have it all to come' - but my involvement in sorting out my nephew's post school academic opportunities, fighting to get him supported living accommodation, helping him get into paid employment and to develop a social life outside of work will stand me in good stead. And no, you're right, I don't know how the most involved parents can get ignored and brushed aside. Sorry if that too comes across as 'dissing', but I just don't.

 

I pointed out the contradiction between your two posts. I think that was a valid point, because the communication between home and school ios something I see as vitally important in the educational process. had the school not consulted you, had they not given you the opportunity to discuss it:

every single week sometimes twice a week since xmas........talking about all this ,about college suitable courses whats needed ect,i also spent almost two hours at the college meeting with all the teacher s and pupils discussing stuff

I would have said that was wrong - not because I was 'dissing' the school, but because it would be.

 

 

L&P

 

BD

[Paula]

Oh shut up baddad................. lol

 

I just didnt want you useing youre buzz phrase.............enableing againe...............hahaha.

 

 

School has just phoned me and they agree theyve messed up and are going to sort it all out and get him onto the correct course...........Apparenly they thought that because he was capable of doing stuff at school all be it with loads of support hed be ok at college on this course and they hadnt realised what the course involved.........its a new course aparently.......its going to be all sorted out now they know.

 

 

 

Nowt ever runs smoothly i guess..................

 

 

 

[justine1]

Oh shut up baddad................. lol

 

I just didnt want you useing youre buzz phrase.............enableing againe...............hahaha.

 

 

School has just phoned me and they agree theyve messed up and are going to sort it all out and get him onto the correct course...........Apparenly they thought that because he was capable of doing stuff at school all be it with loads of support hed be ok at college on this course and they hadnt realised what the course involved.........its a new course aparently.......its going to be all sorted out now they know.

 

 

 

Nowt ever runs smoothly i guess..................

Hi

I think even if he is capable of moving to the next level sometimes it is best to start from the bottom,hopefully if he is getting bored with it they can move him up the next level.

 

I was given the choice to go to 2nd year uni so would skip the first year but I dont have enough confidence so opted to do the first year also thought I could make more friends as we will all be newbies.

 

I wish him luck.Must be a difficult transition.

[baddad]

Nowt ever runs smoothly i guess..................

 

 

Amoebic Dysentry gets pretty close!

 

Hope all goes smoothly from here on in

 

[Paula]

It is such a big big change especialy when youre going from a special school into basically a mainstream enviroment..his special school only has 80 pupils at them most going from age 5 to 16 its a very safe enviorment with loads of support.......the kids dont even move up into different classes yearly like most schools kids of say 13 are taught alongside kids of 8 if thats the ability there at.............hes traveled with the same group of seven kids on the school bus with the same driver and escort for the past 11 years its a big big wrench .......sounds naff but ive shed a few tears at the fact i wont be dealing with the school anymore after the 25th June.

 

Ive bought loads of boxes of chocalates and nice tins of biscuites to send in for the staff room for all the teachers and support staff.....got the head a bottle of whiskey and written a letter saying just what a great place its been and how thankfull we are as a family for everything theyve done for our son over the past 11 years..........its realy sad hes to leave i wish he could stay.........

 

 

And baddad.....please dont mention bowel movements...........it brings back horrid memories of my son and the war and peace saga of his bowel movements .........lol.............

 

[Kathryn]

Ho Hum - lack of communication - I sympathise.

 

When a child turns 16 parent do sometimes tend to get marginalised. I found it very frustrating. Still do feel I'm itching to step in sometimes and my daughter is 21! Hope it can all be sorted out now and that the bad experience hasn't knocked his confidence too much. L started off on an entry level course at her local FE college and found it really supportive.

 

good luck <'>

 

K x

[Paula]

Son went to visit the college todday with the leavers group from school and he is going to go for another interview for the correct course next week...........so its all sorted thank god.............

 

The speceial needs co ordinator at the college said theyd been a ###### up and he wasnt suitable for the more advanced course.hes none the wiser and just thinks hes special and important and gets to go and meet with the nice lady againe........

[baddad]

Glad it's sorted. Hope next week goes well, and that he enjoys the courses etc when he gets there in Sept.

[justine1]

Thats great news Paula It is even better that he is not that bothered about going again,really positive

[Paula]

Were still of the mind set though that if come september he says he doesnt want to go or if he gets fixed up via the connexsions office ........hes an appointment with his helper their in the may holiday then he wont attend college...........Ive also said if he does start college and finds he hates it then hes to just say it isnt like school and i wouldnt force him to go.I think its important he knows this especialy after all his upset before xmas when he was so worried about college he ran away from home.

[oxgirl]

Were still of the mind set though that if come september he says he doesnt want to go or if he gets fixed up via the connexsions office ........hes an appointment with his helper their in the may holiday then he wont attend college...........Ive also said if he does start college and finds he hates it then hes to just say it isnt like school and i wouldnt force him to go.I think its important he knows this especialy after all his upset before xmas when he was so worried about college he ran away from home.

 

I know where you're coming from Paula. My lad is very unhappy about the ASD college he's going to but I'm trying not to give him a get out clause because I know that, given the chance, he'd decide not to go if he could. I'm encouraging him to give it a really good go first and to keep an open mind and I keep reminding him how much he hated moving up to the new site at school two years ago but how it turned out okay in the end. I just know that with him, if I tell him if he doesn't like it he can leave, he'll decide to leave after the first visit and then he could really miss out. Maybe you could agree a timeframe with your lad that he really gives it a go for, say up until Christmas or something. Then, if at the end of giving it a good try if he is still unhappy that's fair enough, at least he's given it a try.

 

Good luck with the next interview. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[justine1]

I know where you're coming from Paula. My lad is very unhappy about the ASD college he's going to but I'm trying not to give him a get out clause because I know that, given the chance, he'd decide not to go if he could. I'm encouraging him to give it a really good go first and to keep an open mind and I keep reminding him how much he hated moving up to the new site at school two years ago but how it turned out okay in the end. I just know that with him, if I tell him if he doesn't like it he can leave, he'll decide to leave after the first visit and then he could really miss out. Maybe you could agree a timeframe with your lad that he really gives it a go for, say up until Christmas or something. Then, if at the end of giving it a good try if he is still unhappy that's fair enough, at least he's given it a try.

 

Good luck with the next interview. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

I agree.Mel makes a good point,of course your son may be different.Maybe a compromise is good.I think from September to December is a good timeframe for him to see exactly how college is and it does go by so quickly.

 

I know with Sam he takes about 2-4 weeks to adjust to new changes/people,so he always reacts badly at first and refuses to go etc.If I said okay dont go back he wont get anywhere.So I wait until after 4-6weeks then I can see a difference when he has got into the routine and becomes more relaxed.So I think he needs to give it a good chance first.He does seem to be positive about it so far.So prehaps lots of encouragement over summer will be good.Though not to mention it constantly as this can also make him more anxious.