Autism and potty training...

[Max's Mum]

My DS is 4.5 and still in nappies 24/7. He has no awareness of having a wet nappy and very occasionally will tell me that he has a dirty nappy (this has only happened once or twice!). He is in mainstream school with support (due to start Reception in September) and although they are fine with him still being in nappies, I am wondering how long they are going to be this supportive of his toiletting needs.

 

So my main point is, if you have a child with autism, when did they potty train and how hard was it? I openly admit I am absolutely dreading it. I feel that as he is starting school there is now a bit of pressure to get him clean and dry but he really isn't ready and the thought of attempting it makes me break out in a cold sweat! He won't even wear pants or sit on a toilet or potty at home so I have no idea where we'd even start!

 

Any words of wisdom or experiences for me please?

 

Thanks

[chris54]

First, the school are required to take care of his toileting needs, it is covered by the disability discrimination act, so they are not doing it as a favour, they cannot refuse.

 

One thing you could try, I'm assuming you are using modem disposable nappies, put a piece of kitchen paper in the nappy, next to his skin, this will feel very soggy but not leak, may help with him knowing when he has (is) wet(ting) himself.

 

Has he seen others using the toilet, I know that sounds a bit of a strange question, but the first step in potty training a child is for them to realise what a toilet/potty is for and that it is something that we all use.

 

I dont think you will be alone in this, My own son was just about toilet trained by the time he started school only to regress, he refused to us the school toilets due to sensory overload. Still has an issue now but can just about cope.

 

For us it was just perseverance. Not much help I know, I'm sure others will come up with same ideas.

[justine1]

Hi

Have you used some reward/sticker charts? Three out of four of my boys didnt use the potty,my eldest is the only one who did,Sam went straight onto the toilet at age 2 and I didnt even realise until he was slipping into the bowl Dan used the toilet age 3,I had been trying with the potty for a year then eventually got those seats for toddlers that go under the toilet seat,within 2 weeks he was fine during the day but only craked nightime by 3 1/2.My last born,is just potty training at the moment he is,well big for his age,so potty actually hurts him so again he is using the toilet.

 

I dont think nappies are a good idea when potty training kids are clever and know if they wee its not going to mess as its contained in the nappy.Try and use pants,my third son has huge sensory issues and like you have mentioned,hates underpants,while training I got him bigger sizes,as your son is slightly older than he was,you could even get boxer shorts(the loose ones).This way he has no option but to tell you he is wet,you can then tell him where the wee is meant to go,take him to the toilet and "pretend" as though you putting the wee in the toilet(if its a poo you can actually drop it in) then get him to flush,we say "goodbye bye,thank you toilet" sounds weird but encouraging for the child knowing the toilet is helping you out.

 

Also you could try sitting a teddy (or a toy they love)on the toilet and saying they are having a wee/poo,or sit him on the toilet and teddy on a potty.Try and get a stool some boys will just stand and wee from the start(Sam did this too) When he is in pants take him to the toilet every few minutes,dont talk too much about what you doing just say it once and then ask him what you going to do next so he is distracted,if he is to nervous he may not do anything.If he is happy to sit on his own you could face the other way so there is less focus on what he is doing,just keep chatting to him.

[baranigirl]

DD3 was my worst to train and I do not know if she is on the spectrum, but she does shows some traits.

 

She is similar age to your son and is still in nappiesover night, having really got to grips with daytime training about 6-8 months ago, although she was in knockers from about 3yrs old she had lots and lots of accidents and even now she rushes to the toilet as she knows it is coming cos it starts coming out...

 

DS is just 2 and is showin some signs of being ready to train and I will follow his lead, but I am in no rush with any of my kids to train them night or day. I can see DD3 being in night nappies for a fair while longer, but DD1 had enuresis until she was 13.

 

Not sure I have helped much, but all the others except DD3 used the potty whereas DD3 refused and went straight to the toilet and we have a triple seat on there now which incorporates a toddler seat as well as an adult seat

[JsMum]

My son didnt like wetness on his skin so potty training was easier for me, though I did what Justine did, he had real underwear on, we bought extra pairs so we could change if he had an accident, I also had potties in every room and even had a travel potty, but J soon preferred the Toilet trainer seat, and he went on the toilet, we progressed onto night time where I had a waterproof matteress cover and had lots of spare sheets incase of accidents, and put him in underpants and thin pjays, he had a few accicents which is how he learnt quicker, and agree real pants are better than the pull ups if your child doesnt like the feel of wet fabric on thier skins, I never told him or scolded him if he had an accident, I just reminded him to go to the toilet or use the potty, there is some fantastic potties, some play musical tunes if water contacts the bowl, or the one J had looked just like a kids chiar as it had a lid and you could just use it as a chair.

 

I think it is different for everyone, I was lucky because J was sensory and didnt like it, others may not be bothered at all.

 

There is a couple of links on how to support your childs toilet training.

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autis...t-training.aspx

 

http://www.cafamily.org.uk/pdfs/paptToilet.pdf

 

You could contact your autism outreach service if you have one or disabilities nurse for support and ideas too.

 

You could use picture symbols and other similair communication support.

 

Good Luck.

 

JsMumx

 

 

[MelowMeldrew]

Mine was in nappies until 6 yrs old. He would not use a toilet or potty, neither we nor the nurse got anywhere.. He went to school in nappies, they would not change them. It wasn't actually a problem, because my son had tremendous control over his bowels and would never ask for the toilet in school, however he would soil himself the second he left the school gates ! I eventually cured it, by forcing him to go by giving him plenty of food and drink prior to attending school, he was then left with no choice but to ask for the toilet, as he couldn't 'hold it' ! Overnight he just decided to use it. ?%!?

[baileyj]

My son was 4 nearly 5, we started training in earnest the during the Summer holidays before starting Reception. We had 2 issues, firstly about not wearing a nappy, and secondly wearing pants as he hated them as they felt so different. We discovered he liked his swim trunks, so we bought him some trunk pants, and called them trunks NOT pants, which really helped. We let him run round the garden in just a t-shirt, no nappy or bottoms, he sprinkled on the grass, (I know sounds yukky) so got used to seeing wee, and slowly recognising the feeling of needing a wee beforehand. The other thing we did was started only changing nappies in the bathroom, so he started associating anything to do with it with the bathroom only. We kept several potties round the house in most rooms, and again let him run round with no bottoms on, and kept sitting him on the potty. It took a few months, but slowly worked, for about another year we were constantly emptying potties, as he would want a wee, and immediately go in whatever room he was in, so wherever we went we had a potty in the boot of the car, and at relatives houses. Bit by bit we started removing the potties until there was only one left in the bathroom, it was one that looked like a little toilet, had a loo seat and everything, and we called it his special toilet. Finally we went on holiday to a familiar place, and didn't take a potty, said he was a big boy now, and he just accepted it. The thing is to be paitent, don't give us, and if at first you don't succeed, stop and leave for a while as they aren't ready for it. In time you will get there. My lad was out of nappies during day at 5, and during the night at 7. We thought it would never happen, but it does. Lots of Luck

 

Jo

[coolblue]

We attempted toilet training with ds many times, starting at 2.5 years - the age his older sister spontaneously and successfully decided not to wear nappies any more.

 

He was eventually consistently dry during the day of his own accord just before his 6th birthday, used the toilet to do a poo by the time he was 7 (we used bribery for this - he got a penny for sitting on the loo, then for sitting for one minute etc etc.)

 

He's only recently started being dry through the night - again this was spontaneous and he's nearly 12. Nothing we had tried - alarms, waking, less fluids, more fluids, exercises - had worked. Now he's wet at night only about once a week and improving steadily.

 

It (as several excellent professionals have told us when we've thanked them for remarkable improvements) is a developmental thing.

 

cb

[Shaunsmum]

Shaun was toilet trained just 4 months before his 5th birthday. I had broached the subject a few times with him but he got extremely upset. He was getting ready to start school and they said that they would get him out of nappies as it was easier for them if he was out of them because it takes 2 people to change him. The nursery was on holiday in the February for 5 days so I just decided that I wasn't putting nappies on him apart from in bed. He got really upset and we had a lot of wet pants that day (he was just doing a dribble everytime) the second day was worse but by the third day he was going to the toilet and I think we only had one accident. Also at the end of the first day he refused to put a pull up on at bedtime and said he was a big boy now. I used a reward chart which was blue tac-ed to the bathroom wall above the toilet. I had searched for one that didn't just say potty reward chart but had a picture and couldn't find one. Someone emailed me the free behaviour website address and they had one in pink and in blue with a picture of a child sitting on a potty. They also have stickers you can download, I done it on to normal paper then laminated it and stuck them on with blue tac too. Sorry if someones already put this site addy on http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/