Crying, any tears?

[zeldasmum]

Hya

 

My son doesn't have full on meltdowns (phew) he does get frustrated bit of arm flapping.

 

However he cries a lot but I don't recall him ever crying with tears.

 

Do your children have tears when they cry?

 

thnx

[baddad]

Hi Mikey's mum -

Do you mean he's never cried with tears or he's never cried with tears while flapping?

There are several 'types' of crying - emotional crying, 'angry' crying, 'pain' crying and at least 1 or 2 others I can't remember.

Crying without tears is generally either a communication or a control strategy, depending on the age/nature/understanding of the child. So depending on the circumstances he could be 'crying' to indicate he is frustrated or wants help (communication) or 'crying' as an avoidance strategy (control). Without tears, though, he is not crying because of strong emotions (sadness/anger) or pain.

If you've never seen tears then it's worth getting his eyes checked, I guess. I've never heard of anything that stops tears (I had a niece who had blocked tear ducts but that made her eyes weep rather than stopping them), but a GP would know, I'm sure.

 

HTH

 

L&P

 

BD

[zeldasmum]

Hya it generally goes like this,

 

He spills a drink - whinging no tears I am a naughty boy

He jumps on me for a cuddle and hurts me accidentally so I say Ouch - whinging no tears I am a naughty boy

He cant do something homework/game etc - arm flapping whinging no tears I am an idiot/loser etc

he is deffo crying (whinging) less than what he used to.

 

I can honestly only recall him crying tears once but I cannot think what caused it.

 

Even if he trips over and hurts himself he will make crying noises but no tears.

 

This all new to us, I have always just thought he was a bit quirky. I came across Dyspraxia on a course I was on and thought wow. At the same time he was referred by school to the BEST team for social & comms they did a home visit and i mentioned Dyspraxia to them. They brought up Aspergers which I had never heard of.

 

When I checked the symptoms on internet I couldn't believe it. This has all been in the last few weeks so its pretty new to me and obviously he doesn't have dx yet. He has seen Paed and SALT, just waiting for OT appointment.

 

When he cries (whinges) I have tried consoling him, ignoring him, putting a sad face sticker on his reward chart nothing seems to make any differance.

I have wondered if it is a control issue.

He doent cry (whinge) for long but it is quite often

 

thnx any tips gratefully received.

[chris54]

Not sure if this is the same thing.

My son doesn't really feel pain, or at least he doesn't react in the way you would expect.

He has "learnt" to fake crying, so to speak, to get a reaction if he "hurts" himself.

 

So he cries, with tears when emotionally upset, but otherwise without tears.

Edited October 10, 2010 by chris54

[call me jaded]

My son never produces tears. He is very dyspraxic. His eyes are very light sensitive and he used to have tears running down his face every time we went outside. That doesn't happen now. I seem to recall some medical person telling me that as he grew the tears would drain better. He does still cry at films, etc but no tears, just great big gulps.

[smiley1590]

i have A.S and dyspraxia and i produce tears all time down to being worried stress depressed overwhelmed MH probs for living day in day out .... brings you tears every night when everyone else in bed i cry all time over 'losing' my nans that gets me bad!

 

XKLX

[trekster]

My son never produces tears. He is very dyspraxic. His eyes are very light sensitive and he used to have tears running down his face every time we went outside. That doesn't happen now. I seem to recall some medical person telling me that as he grew the tears would drain better. He does still cry at films, etc but no tears, just great big gulps.

 

im the same, it gets to the stage where im too upset to cry. In fact when i can cry i see that as me getting better from C-PTSD stuff.

Have you tried colour therapy on your son? Colorimeter glasses helped enormously with the light sensitivity issues. Googling 'visual stress'

should bring some answers.

 

It sounds like original poster is depressed and feels 'he cannot do anything right'. Ive had depression on and off for the past 21 years (more on

at the moment since i was about 7). Would explaining aspergers and dyspaxia to original posters son help i wonder?

[bonbons]

I have also made this observation with my daughter!! Never mentioned it to anyone other than my husband, and wondered if it was linked to her AS....doesn't seem to be though as I have never read any reference to it! Odd though!

[call me jaded]

Have you tried colour therapy on your son? Colorimeter glasses helped enormously with the light sensitivity issues. Googling 'visual stress'

should bring some answers.

 

I am convinced that he would benefit at some point. but at present will not tolerate the examination process. It's on my to-do list, under 'One Day'.