So, what colour Jellybean are you...?

[Shrinking Violet]

Hiya folks,

 

Last year, I was randomly clicking on videos on YouTube, and came across a very talented young guitarist called David (he was 15). In his info, was a link to a website, run by his mum Debi. He (and his 4 brothers) are all spectrum (he's an Aspie).

 

Anyway, Debi likens NTs to marshmallows (because they all taste the same, look the same (other than the fact some are pink and some are white) and you know what you're gonna get). However, spectrum bods are jellybeans (hard on the outside, soft in the middle - and you're never sure what you're getting until the flavour hits and it's too late!) and because beans come in many colours, and flavours, it expresses the fact that an ASC child is an individual, whereas NTs are - more-or-less - identical... She's an Aspie too, by the way.

 

I've always loved that description. I'm a pinkish-purplish jellybean (probably raspberry) because I generally have more hot moments (and am quite quick to anger) but I can be cool, calm and collected when I have to be. She describes her eldest son as a red bean, as he's very hyper, very quick to meltdown and to anger.

 

The website, if you fancy a read, is Jelibean

 

So what colour bean is your DS/DD, other half - or you...?

 

Hugs all,

 

Sarah xxx

[RainbowsButterflies]

I can't see any reference to colours on there...

[Shrinking Violet]

No, true - you have to kind of imagine it by personality - I was trying to explain that (I'm not very good at explaining things though... )

 

Sorry if I've confused you...

 

I'm carp (anag.) sometimes...

 

Hugs,

 

Sarah xxx

[smiley1590]

i'm orange bright vibrant in your face .... i'm here kind of jelly bean also on fire at times with thoughts energy!

[bid]

I've read about this before, and to be completely honest, I find it rather patronising.

 

We are all people, we don't need to be categorised in a cutesie way.

 

I could tell you exactly where my son would tell you to stick a jelly bean, but good manners and forum rules prevent me from doing so

 

Ah well, each to their own...

 

Bid

Edited January 28, 2011 by bid

[Sammysnake]

Anyway, Debi likens NTs to marshmallows (because they all taste the same, look the same (other than the fact some are pink and some are white) and you know what you're gonna get).

Can't agree with this lady at all here. All people whether they be on the spectrum or not, have learning difficulties or not, had a difficult childhood or not, like Mamite or not are incredibly complex creatures capable of a wide range of behaviours reactions and responses in different situations, have widely ranging personalities and alter their behaviour according to who they are with, where they are, what role they are in and what mask they feel they may or may not have to wear at the time. NTs are definitely not simple and predictable and even those who fully understand 'the rules' of social interaction etc sometimes choose not to follow them.

 

PS - I know this was meant as a laugh and I'm not having a go; please don't think I'm being horrible. My daughter keeps doing lots of online quizzes about what is your dragon name and what species of cat would you be etc and I know it's all silly fun. The difference is, those joke quizzes don't tell people they are not capable of being an individual because of their label - ie NT. Cheers

Edited January 28, 2011 by Sammysnake

[Mumble]

I could tell you exactly where my son would tell you to stick a jelly bean, but good manners and forum rules prevent me from doing so

... and that's the tea spilt all over the 'puter!! :lol:

 

All people whether they be on the spectrum or not, have learning difficulties or not, had a difficult childhood or not, like Mamite or not are incredibly complex creatures capable of a wide range of behaviours reactions and responses in different situations, have widely ranging personalities and alter their behaviour according to who they are with, where they are, what role they are in and what mask they feel they may or may not have to wear at the time. NTs are definitely not simple and predictable and even those who fully understand 'the rules' of social interaction etc sometimes choose not to follow them.

:thumbs: Completely agree.

 

Anyway, marshmallows don't just come in white and pink, flumps are marshmallows and they come in all sorts of colours and tangled shapes, plus you can get marshmallow shaped various sweets... Mmm mallow strawberries. *drools*

 

Oh, to answer the question, which jellybean am I? Currently I'm a vomit bean (of Harry Potter fame) based on this.

[Kathryn]

Can't agree with this lady at all here. All people whether they be on the spectrum or not, have learning difficulties or not, had a difficult childhood or not, like Mamite or not are incredibly complex creatures capable of a wide range of behaviours reactions and responses in different situations, have widely ranging personalities and alter their behaviour according to who they are with, where they are, what role they are in and what mask they feel they may or may not have to wear at the time. NTs are definitely not simple and predictable and even those who fully understand 'the rules' of social interaction etc sometimes choose not to follow them.

 

 

Couldn't have put it better.

 

Trouble is - it's not presented as just a bit of fun. This "article" - and the whole site- presents shallow, vague and biased generalisations as fact, which is potentially damaging. I know its purpose is to support parents of children with ASD and emphasise the positives, but putting down people who do not have AS is a fairly warped way of doing it, in my opinion.

 

I'm a SOURball.

 

K x

[bid]

Sammysnake and Kathryn

 

I hate this idea that those of us on the autistic spectrum are somehow superior to other people...I thought we are meant to be against discrimination??!!

 

Bid

Edited January 28, 2011 by bid

[DameBeverage]

Goodness, this post has made me hungry . I just want to say that I do taste the difference between pink and white marshmallows and I like the pink ones, does no one else taste the difference? I don't really like jellybeans, but if I had to choose a colour it would be orange, because of the taste though, not to associate it with how I feel, not sure of a colour, perhaps purple or pink because I like wearing it.

 

As with regards to the marshmallows being associated to NT and are all the same, I think most people have said what I would of said, so I'll leave it there.

 

I need to get some marshmallows now. I wonder if my local shop is still open? . I had the urge to buy liquorice allsorts (yes ate the whole packet in a day), because of doing research about difference and came across a great picture. Sorry can't work out how to upload it, what a shame. This I would say would be a great sweet to describe us all as a society. Allsorts, being individuals, the main base (liquorice being human) and layers and centres that slightly differ. All living happy together as one country and one world, that are able to have our individual preferences, such as religions, disability needs, etc, but which are not negatively judged by others. This is what is important to me. This is what I strive to try and gain.

 

I am now craving liquorice allsorts again!!!!!

 

 

and

Edited January 28, 2011 by DameBeverage

[GaryS]

Google alerts picked up this thread for me and I needed to come in and say a few things about some of the posts as I was concerned that there seemed to be some misconceptions about what Jelibean are all about.

 

I am a co-founder and the webmaster of Jelibean and when I read this thread I immediately joined the forum to make a post or two. I thought it best to have a browse and search before saying too much and I'm so glad I did. It is clear that there are several on the forum that have good reason to have a dim view of Jelibean based on an appalling discourse a couple of years ago. I have PM'd the individuals concerned and wish to add a public apology to others that were involved or simply witnessed the events in that thread. On behalf of Debi and all the other individuals in Jelibean, I'm sorry, and relay a definitive statement that it will never happen again. We are taking all the steps we can to bring ourselves out of a legacy and in the forum world finding it somewhat difficult for a variety of reasons.

 

In regard to the posts above I would like to re-start a discussion if it is possible to explain that there are some misconceptions to Jelibean's work and analogy in particular. As is mentioned in several places on the site Debi “Talks in Pictures”, TIP - an extension of TG's Thinking in Pictures – unfortunately sometimes the pictures don't convey to all the meaning that is intended, perhaps this is a further illustration of our differences.

 

To restate what Debi says about the general TIP..

 

Jelibeans are a rainbow of colours, different sizes and shades, but more importantly very different flavours (pina colada is a personal fave of mine). Jelibeans are renowned for their brittle outside shell, but with that soft melting chewy bit in the centre. They're unpredictable, you never know quite what you have till the flavour has taken over your taste buds, by which time, it's too late, if you find you don't like it and want to spit it out.

 

Marshmallows, however, all appear similar, pink and white fluffy neat shapes that don't really taste of very much except a comforting sweetness. Marshmallows are enjoyable and they're squishy, popping back into shape easily. Dip your hand in a bag of marshmallows and you're pretty sure of what you're going to get. You can eat them for ever.

 

And to pick a couple of comments from this thread

 

“simple and predictable”

 

“shallow, vague and biased generalisations as fact, which is potentially damaging”

 

“superior to other people”

 

“putting down people who do not have AS”

 

I'm saddened that this is the feeling here. Jelibean don't have the opinion that those on the AS are superior, and concerned that the site comes across as putting NT's down and we certainly do not believe that Marsh's are simple and predictable. The intention of the analogy is to convey the AS as varied, colourful and generally very unpredictable. NT's generally the opposite of this. Clearly this is very stereotypical and of course there is a wide overlap of personality types but if this does not come across then please tell us were you feel it falls down.

 

In general our “articles” (this term is used by the web software to define stories – much the same way as this thread is a “topic”) are offered as helpful texts, not definitive statements of fact. Although Debi does have an Autism qualification, the texts are presented as just another collection of words along with the hundreds of others on this subject which does help some parents and some individuals experiencing ASC. There are articles which have a more research oriented bias but they are not intended to be, and are a far cry from, peer-reviewed scientific statements of fact but we do try and get our facts correct.

 

There was a time Jelibean was leaning towards a research organisation and unfortunately it took time for those in the organisation to see what was going on under our nose but that as since changed. We are a different group now, with different goals and, we hope, manners. I certainly hope that those readers who are prepared to look without prejudice (from both perspectives) can bring themselves to discuss openly, honestly and from our stance a previously unshown sense of humility.

Edited March 18, 2011 by GaryS

[bid]

Hi Gary,

 

Thank you very much for both your PM to me, and your wider apology here. I very much appreciate your sentiments.

 

I have to confess that after the previous thread a couple of years ago, I haven't looked at your site again. To be completely honest, I still find the sweetie analogy a bit too twee for me, but that's just my personal preference.

 

Hope you continue with your work supporting families.

 

Very best,

 

Bid

[GaryS]

Thanks for the reply bid and your honesty is appreciated. It's a kid thing really, and kind of stuck. Most of the work we do is parental advice, children's profiles and help with kid's DLA etc; although this SEN Green Paper is beginning to take over our lives!

[bid]

Thanks for the reply bid and your honesty is appreciated. It's a kid thing really, and kind of stuck. Most of the work we do is parental advice, children's profiles and help with kid's DLA etc; although this SEN Green Paper is beginning to take over our lives!

I should have said that everyone has different tastes, so it's good to have different approaches out there!

 

Bid

[K_46]

Shrinking Violet thanks for sharing this post and GaryS for taking time to explain what you do.

 

I understand the potentially condescending side to Jelibeans however the simple fact is people with Asperger's are different to NT's. NT's are predictable within themselves, they know what social clues to look for when engaging one another yet Aspies dont.

 

As a simple anaology which helps children understand the differences between themselves and NT's and therefore how to interact making it easier for them to feel part of society without the stigma or being abnormal, personally I think it can be a good thing.

 

I'm 30 and recently discovered Asperger's, even as an adult finding the right way of seeing things is not easy. I checked out the website and found it laid out in simple analogies, easy to understand perspectives and actually very useful advice even for me. (i particularly like the Friends & Relationship section). This is something i can also share with my BF to gain more understanding.

 

I'm not saying i am going to go around calling myself a Jelibean but in a fun way i like it. marshmallows are great and can come in all different manner of shapes, sizes and variety but essentially in the core they are are always a marshmallow.

 

btw i'm Chilli Mango. Sweet but fiery!