saying hello

[cait]

hello everyone,i am mum to 4 beautiful children. 2 girls and 2 boys they r the lights of my life..my eldest has a diagnosis of aspergers,A.D.D and associated mood disorder...my 2nd born has a diagnosis of A.D.H.D,and my youngest is awaiting assesmement waiting lists r horrendous..i believe its poss aspergers or A.S.D. he has sensory isssues,suffers from extreme joint pain and has very limited vison...my other little boy has his little quirky ways and tendencies point a little toward the spectrum but he has very good social skills..I am thankful everyday for my gorgous children,and I hope I can help them grow up happy and content and able to achieve their full potiental..just sometimes i feel very much alone, friends and family dont always seem to understand my childrens special needs, and dont understand why i cant be impulsive sometimes,how important it is i stick to routines and why im always so busy it can make you feel very alone. im so glad i found this site....x

[zeldasmum]

Hi and welcome,

I haven't been on this forum for long but have found the advice and tips really helpful.

[cait]

Hi and welcome,

I haven't been on this forum for long but have found the advice and tips really helpful.

sorry im hopeless lol i reposted your comment when i tried to reply.lol sorry again. Edited February 12, 2011 by cait

[justine1]

Hi welcome <'> I am a single mum to four boys.My middle two Sam(7) and Dan(5) both have ASD diagnosis.Dan may also have ADHD,will be going for his review soon.My youngest age 2.5 has a "query" over ASD too,but I am waiting for him to start nursery before getting into the whole assessment route.

 

The forum is so helpful,not just for advice but also if you want to just have a moan or share something positive

[cait]

thanks everyone im not very good at this posting lark either tried posting a moment ago and i dont know were it went.lol..im sure i will find this site very useful it is good to talk or rant lol to ppl who understand.

[RainbowsButterflies]

Hi and welcome

[smiley1590]

sounds like you have your hands full and must very tiring draining at times trying with different needs but also very rewarding of their own achievements do you have any 'outside' support services at all? social services etc?

 

XKLX

[cait]

it can be draining....but the rewards far outway the exhaustion....i dont have any "family support" as such the clinic, my eldest two attend are grt...their has been a social worker, appointed to them through them attending that clinic...but that is just at their routine appointments and check ups..so to answer your question no i dont really have any outside help..i organized,. to set up a parent and carer support group with the local sure start. so people who find themselves in the same situation, as myself can come along and talk about there worries or whatever they feel the need to get of there chest...with people who understand.x

[WillR73]

Cait, you are the poster-girl for local support services. Why aren't they in there helping you? You got the social workers involved? I know they ain't always great, but they're the best route to Direct Payments and shrinks. And stuff you may not need, like benefits and housing.

 

Especially Direct Payments if you last the battle. My aunt's direct payments pay someone to change her nappies. Mine pay a girl to settle down over lunch and a movie and just chat - keep me social. Flexible or what?

 

You get the point - this might be one of those rare cases the professionals can actually be useful

[cait]

thanks....but i wouldnt know were to start, asking them for things im entitled to......i was promised a long time ago a carers treat. i was ment to go for relaxation therapy,head massage ect....they came out the house and assesed me for it that was a year and a half ago and im still waiting lol...i didnt even know there was such a thing as "direct payments".....thank you. <'>

[WillR73]

Info on Direct Payments in the Help & Advice section of this forum.

 

You start by doing the two really difficult bits. You tell your GP you need help. Then you say the same thing to the social worker he refers you to. That's the tough bit done..lol

 

Next you ask for a Needs Assesment on each of your children, and a Carer's Assesment on you. You're only asking to seem polite - you have a legal right to stamp your foot and demand.

 

Don't sign off on any agreement unless you agree - keep correcting it until they get it right. Now you and your children have a legally recognised right to support. Then you can start talking about Direct Payments

 

This is too long - I'll follow with another post

[WillR73]

The system is simple. Your local health authority puts money into a bank account. You become a manager. That bank account is your budget. With the agreement of your social worker, you create job descriptions, interview, hire, fire, all that management stuff.

 

You need a nice social soul you can share a coffee with and moan about your week? Hire one. One of your kids needs to get out and active and join some local clubs - get them a friend to take them there.

 

This is the simple version, but you get the idea. And if you want any more info, or a listening ear on the bad days, contact me - I'm usually free and wasting my life - be a pleasure to feel useful

[cait]

Again thank you, i really appreciate it...I didnt know that kind of help excisted. I will look into it..once i have had my youngest one assesed hes only 4 and is having a lot of meltdowns in school, seperation issues,sensory issues extreme joint pain oh the list is endless he is my num 1 priority at the min he has appointment for C.D.C in march so fingers crossed, he will start to get the help he needs.