Kians Dad Report post Posted February 19, 2011 Hi everyone, My name is Phil I am new to this forum and hope to be able to share some experiences and information regarding our situation, my son Kian now 10yrs old was diagnosed from age 7 with Aspergers. After years of feeling like bad parents it was a relief as we now understand some of the problems we encountered and hope to rectify some of the mistakes we made. I look forward to speaking frankly,sharing and getting advice in the hope we can all make our childrens lives better and happier and so they can understand and grow with the knowledge they are not alone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowsButterflies Report post Posted February 19, 2011 Hi and welcome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dm2010 Report post Posted February 19, 2011 You're ahead of many. My parents didn't know until I was in my mid-twenties. My advice is actually the same as it would be for any parent especially with secondary school coming up : Put good teachers in front of your son. I found I did exceptionally well with the good ones and exceptionally badly with the bad ones. Everyone knows school is important but it is doubly so for us, because we have NO chance of achieving career success via the social route. Aspie kids are NOT able to make up for deficiencies in teaching because their brains shut down when they feel that the teacher isn't making much of an effort, or worse is unwilling or unable to understand them. Telling an Aspie to try harder at school when the teaching is poor is like telling a diesel car it's got to run on petrol. You won't get very far and will do a lot of damage in the process. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shellz Report post Posted February 19, 2011 hiya, and am sure you will find this site helpful. i found out my son has ASD at 21yrs, to be honest i think things would have been different with schools and others around us if he was diagnosed as a youngster. i was asking since he was 2yrs old, as his younger brother was so different,but got told not to compare,i wasnt just was in my face and made my son seem the naughty one... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kians Dad Report post Posted February 20, 2011 Thanks for your replies, i am sure there are many out there misdiagnosed and misunderstood and it's great to hear some friendly advice and encouragement? So far I have found this forum is really useful for sharing experiences and giving support. I did not want to write too much of an intro before but just to add some depth now, I have another son aged 5 recently started school last year after being in nursery, as soon as he started school we had complaints about his behavior(strange as nursery never mentioned just kept cashing the cheques!!!!!) and now we are going through an assessment to see if he also is on the spectrum......as we do not know what is usual behavior with children we always thought our children where fine, we only had Kian (Aspie) as a bench mark, Regan my other son has most of the same is-sums we just thought it was copy cat behavior. They are both great boys with real good sense of humor and we all have a laugh at some of the things they do and the literal comments that they say...we should write them down. My wife has given up her career to look after the boys as I am away working a lot, I am in the military and work is real busy as you can imagine, therefore my wife has the boys 24/7 apart from school, where she is called up on a daily basis as they the schools do not cope well, that said we are getting a lot of external help from agencies for both boys. Unfortunately not family help but that's a rant for another day.. It is frustrating as I want to do so much for the boys and give my wife some time off carers duty, but it's difficult to get the balance of work, money and comfortable home life. In the mean time though we try to do our best for the boys so they grow up confident,well mannered and balanced young men ready for the big wide world........as long as they can step on all the chewing gum marks on the pavement minding the cracks??????(Don't ask it's Regan's latest thing?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dm2010 Report post Posted February 20, 2011 (edited) Things look quite promising, considering the hoops others are having to jump through. As for Aspies taking things literally, would that not be an advantage when pursuing a military career ? Just a thought. Edited February 20, 2011 by dm2010 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 21, 2011 As for Aspies taking things literally, would that not be an advantage when pursuing a military career ? Um, pretty sure you can't join the military if you have a dx of ASD/AS. Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
