loulou Report post Posted June 22, 2005 (edited) Hi everyone, I've received a start date for Kai's new school (2 weeks' time). It's an EBD school, which i have concerns over (he's ASD/ADHD) They want him to start full-time, but i'm very worried as he's been out of school for 15 months. The school phoned me today and said that in their experience, part-time admissions do not work. They said it just "prolongs the agony for the child." I'm in a complete state over this now. I feel physically sick just thinking about it. Maybe it's just my anxiety. Maybe he'll be ok there. I just think 6 hours away from me after being glued to my side for the last 15 months might be too much for him to cope with. The school were very nice and they promised that if he were really distressed, they would ask me to come and pick him up. I feel so worried about an already school phobic child becoming MORE school phobic than he already is. I suppose i'm just going to have to trust them and give it a go (that is if i can get him in the car.) Now i'm crying (again), Loulou x Edited June 22, 2005 by loulou Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted June 22, 2005 I suppose i'm just going to have to trust them and give it a go (that is if i can get him in the car.) No Loulou you do not have to just trust them. Do they know Kia do they have any idea what goes on inside of him? My gut feeling here, and sorry if I ofend any parents, is that the stance that the school are taking here is much like 'breaking' a horse. You get up there and sit on it no matter how much it bucks and squeals and you sit there until you have broken it and it gives in. Now this may be the 'easy' way for the school but is it the right way for Kia? If it goes wrong this time will you ever get him back into a school? We have a child in our group who has only been out since February. He has started his assessment placement in our ASD unit this week. In September they will 'try' and integrate him back into school, half a day each week to begin with. His Mum has been told that they are willing to let this process take a year if needs be. That is because they want to gain the trust of the child and do the right thing by him. Forcing Kia back into a school that you are unhappy with on the terms of the people in charge may not be the right thing to do. I certainly can not see this helping Kia at all. Sorry if I have spoken out of place here. Carole <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted June 22, 2005 Loulou, <'> I have to agree with Carol. Is this the same school that you visited in February, the one where the Head said that the technique they use is like "breaking in a wild horse", where he said that this method MAY work for Kai, but if he has AS it will probably make him worse? Please follow your gut instinct, if this is the wrong school for Kai, then refuse it and insist on an ASD specialist school. You can argue that an EBD school is not suitable. You went to see two schools in your area, what was the outcome? If there's a suitable school, but it doesn't have any places then it may be worth waiting for one. You might benifit from discussing this with NAS education advocacy. I'm really sorry you have been put in this position. Take care Nellie <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tez Report post Posted June 22, 2005 The fact that you have posted here shows that you have severe reservations about whether this is right for Kai. In my experience, when I have taken the advice of "experts" or "professionals" against my instinct it has always been the wrong decision. You know Kai, you know your family situation, go with your instinct, if you think it's the wrong thing to do, fight it, if you think they're right give it a try. Above all believe in yourself and judgement and go with what you believe to be right, trust yourself and forget about trusting or distrusting the school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted June 22, 2005 Hi Nellie, Yes, this is the "breaking in horses school". I haven't managed to look at the other schools yet, but will be doing so soon. The Educational Welfare Officer had suggested slow re-integration to school, but she is off sick this week . I've just been on the phone to the Autism Advisory Team, who have only just received Kai's referral. They should be getting back to me. I feel totally helpless. None of these people know my son, so how can they know what's best for him? I also feel like they (people at the LEA) all stick together and agree with each other. I think i'll give NAS a ring. I really feel that a slow and gentle approach is needed. Kai can't imagine why any child would like school. It just doesn't make sense to him. Loulou x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted June 22, 2005 Loulou, You say you feel totally helpless, don't let these people bully you and don't be rushed into making any decisions. You do not have to send you son to this school if you don't think it's suitable. I agree, you have nothing to lose by making a call to the NAS. Good luck Nellie <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted June 22, 2005 Loulou <'> Trust your instincts on this one! There is the right placement out there for Kai...when you find it you'll know straight away. I was told this by the LEA Out of County Officer...I was dubious, but after visiting one school where I found myself 'justifying' to myself why it would be ok for Auriel, we walked into his new school...and we both just knew. If you're not confident, don't risk your son's emotional well-being! Good luck, and stay strong <'> Bidx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
