B.D.D & A.S? or just low self image?

[smiley1590]

does anyone know of or personally experienced anyone with B.D.D - Body Dysmorphic disorder and A.S together combined? as i seemed obsessed with looking at self image in mirrors /windows anything with a reflection really and then have days where have to turn my head i replused if i look at reflection of myself but when look at reflection i horrified disgusted by my self image all i see is FAT and UGLINESS there nothing else! i don't know if this real or in my head ? just won't go 'away' struggling with it is it basic low self esteem or more than? i now watching weight programmes more ( supersize v's superskinny) ,morbidly obese , etc don't know why is there a link a connection i'm unsure? and checking my weight quite few times a day to check my weight have to exercise everyday without fail ... list getting more and more on it everyday can't seem STOP!

 

HELP ME!

 

XKLX

[darkshine]

Don't know if me answering to all your posts today is gonna annoy anyone (I'm paranoid this evening) but I wanted to reply to this as well so sorry everyone if I'm everywhere

 

I have a list. A list of every single problem. It has existed for many years and occasionally gets added to (the bulk of it was constructed at age 19-28) then I just got sick of writing, I've got diaries and journals, notebooks and loose pieces of paper (enough to fill 2 or 3 very large storage tubs!!) this lasted until a couple of years ago when I pretty much stopped writing cuz:

 

1. nobody helped

2. nobody listened

3. I just about said EVERYTHING (some things I didn't write but most I did write about)

4. I started boring myself

 

I'm not sure if there's anything therapeutic about this - but for me it was a way of getting it out of my system even if it was a page of swearing - if anyone uses this method here's a top tip - if its derogatory, hurtful or mean throw it away afterwards so you don't read and relive unhelpful feelings.

 

In response to weight, everything everywhere is geared at people trying to be this perfect, slim, unrealistic being, that part is not your fault cuz its everywhere in the media, tv programs, magazines and films, the part you have control of is making up your mind about what you think is right, and if you think you want to lose weight, then do it for you and not cuz the world says so.

 

I have a personal hatred of diets (had a friend who got really screwed up) the word die isn't inside the word diet for nothing. It is always safer to see GP if badly overweight and view any change as lifestyle change (therefore permanent) and not dangerous options like quick fix fast options that are harmful and potentially don't work in the long term.

 

Good luck

[jb1964]

Hi Smiley,

Don't know anything about BDD but just wanted to say that my daughter has serious issues with self image. She thinks that she is disgusting and fat and ugly and she has become obsessed with watching programs like Supersize Superskinny. She too weighs herself regularly and has bouts of obsession with exercise.

Hope things calm down for you soon,

Take care, Jb x

[smiley1590]

hello JB ,

 

how long has your daughter has serious issues with her self image? and do you know why this is? do you think it down to her low self esteem that AS brings or something more 'deep' going on emotionally/mentally? How old is your daughter? what triggers her to weight issues? does she get any help with her self image issues? does she struggle and manage keep it under control?

 

XKLX

[JsMum]

does anyone know of or personally experienced anyone with B.D.D - Body Dysmorphic disorder and A.S together combined? as i seemed obsessed with looking at self image in mirrors /windows anything with a reflection really and then have days where have to turn my head i replused if i look at reflection of myself but when look at reflection i horrified disgusted by my self image all i see is FAT and UGLINESS there nothing else! i don't know if this real or in my head ? just won't go 'away' struggling with it is it basic low self esteem or more than? i now watching weight programmes more ( supersize v's superskinny) ,morbidly obese , etc don't know why is there a link a connection i'm unsure? and checking my weight quite few times a day to check my weight have to exercise everyday without fail ... list getting more and more on it everyday can't seem STOP!

 

HELP ME!

 

XKLX

 

 

The beginning of your post does have a lot of the symtoms of BDD but the weight checking and over exercise is also symptoms of Anorexia.

 

It may be you do need a full assessment of BDD, there is a lot of comorbids with BDD, so I dont see why you couldnt have BDD and AS together.

 

See your GP.

 

See this for facts about BDD.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

 

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/dia

 

http://www.nice.org.uk/CG031gnoses_and_conditions/body_dysmorphic_disorder

 

http://www.bupa.co.uk/individuals/health-information/directory/b/body-dysmorphic-disorder

 

from what I have read BDD is a bit more than Low self esteem and very debilitating.

 

 

JsMumxx

Edited May 22, 2011 by JsMum

[smiley1590]

i can't have an ED Anorexia as i'm overweight by 2 stone i'm 11 stone told by doctor and should be 9 stone working towards that maybe less than that if i can! fingers crossed! i'm sorry to have bothered you! i think i maybe overthinking things too much! maybe this all in my head! i keep looking up ED like i have fixation /obsession with that too i know sounds wrong sick! sorry if offend anyone just don't know what to do!

 

XKLX

[jb1964]

hello JB ,

 

how long has your daughter has serious issues with her self image? and do you know why this is? do you think it down to her low self esteem that AS brings or something more 'deep' going on emotionally/mentally? How old is your daughter? what triggers her to weight issues? does she get any help with her self image issues? does she struggle and manage keep it under control?

 

XKLX

 

Hi Smiley - I can see from your other post that you say you can't have anorexia and also you're dismissing the BDD which I can understand - but whichever way you look at it you obviously have issues with your self image that are causing you distress.

 

My daughter will be 18 in July - she has felt like this for sometime now although it would be hard to pinpoint when but definately at least the past 3+years. If I think about it I would say it started once she became aware of herself - that people in school called her names, spat at her, flicked food or stuck chewing gum in her hair, kicked her - said she was ugly etc etc - up until she was around 13 the children weren't quite so cruel or she didn't realise it was directed specifically at her.

 

She self harms when she is angry or frustrated but has also tried to cut chunks off her stomach and face with scissors and knives when she is distressed over her image. She sees someone from the adult services once a month which is a total waste of time - they are struggling to find out whether it is her AS or something else and were hoping for support from the NAS but apparently this has now been on hold due to funding.

 

She was ill last Nov and lost 1 and a half stone in 3 weeks - she has since lost another stone and is now 7 and a half stone and is tiny. I know that since losing this weight she is scared of putting it back on and watches everything she eats - planning what time she will eat and weighs herself regularly.

 

Even though she is now very small she still thinks she's disgusting with a fat face etc. I hope you get some support with your problems.

Take care, Jb x

[smiley1590]

i also self harm on my stomach sometimes when annoyed at self-image or my breasts i also used to see Adult MHT service but again made me feel worse about myself ,my life in general my MH probs ( depression , S/H etc) my pyschtrist didn't get what A.S was had no understanding there was rude horrid to me made me feel so low depressed and suicidal after i seen him had his appointments which lasted no longer than 5 mins of basic questions in and out the door and seen again in few months just NHS number to them not a client i decided in my best interest of my MH well-being to discharge myself from his duty of care totally and service itself as been there since 14 years old with CAMHS and even that was waste of time energy just put you on meds end of and asked come back in couple months time my pyschtrist at Adult MHT made me feel worthless.

 

i was also bullied for years wondering if this were because of having already low self-esteem it impacts on our damaged self -image like circle effect going round and round never ending.

 

i have NAS pyschology sessions with pyschologist weekly basis. but feels like she doesn't 'get me' and again what's the point it waste of energy time trying to explain into words how i truly feel inside get so confused lost within myself. just know i HATE my body so much! would even have liposuction i'm that desperate change things dramatically!

 

i also struggled with controlling my weight steadily i also been 'big boned' quite musucular sketelan like my mum aunt etc which hard cope with as my brother is 6 stone and eats non stop he my twin we 21 years old and he in aged 12-13 aged clothing! and my older sister she size 6-8 and eats loads too. don't know where i'm going SO WRONG!

 

i'm going to see weight nurse on weds 1st june at 1.20pm at docs as so fed up needs shifting fast as affecting my mood!

 

i'm between size 16-14 and want to be size 12! work my way down! i go gym everyday jogging aswell at night and also walk to work ( 40 mins) it takes me get there and 40 mins get home from the gym ... something should be working!

 

everyone in my family tells me i've lost enough especially my parents but i don't feel that way i feel driven don't care how ill i get i'll do anything mean anything to be THIN SLIM! so going to keep going strong! they tell me i'm 'perfect' size for my body shape and they don't want me getting 9 stone tough is what i say i need too end of! and i will watch this space!

 

i been left with ugly stretchmarks in my skin i put body lotion on area of them every night arms top of breast and stomach that drives me mad crazy too! i never been comfortable in my body skin which i could jump out into my sibling's bodies switch places though my sister thinks she too skinny!

 

hope they find NAS funding for your daughter soon! fingers crosssed for her! sounds like she NEEDS it ASAP! do the professionals not think it is A.S then ? do they suspect more of MH prob going etc?

 

XKLX

[bid]

Just a thought...you don't say how tall you are? If you are tall, a size 14/16 is probably perfectly fine.

 

Have you spoken to someone like your GP to establish what is a healthy weight range for someone of your height and build? I'm tall, and I've just checked to see that the healthy weight range for someone of my height goes from just over 9 stone upto 11 stone.

 

Bid

[JsMum]

Hi Smiley, you cant go by clothes size either, Im told Im slim and Im anything from a size 8 upto a size 14 depending on what clothing store I buy from, I have long limbs so nothing ever fits me right either, If it fits in the length its way to big in the width.

 

I wished they would buy a body scanning machine that then collects your measurements and then tailor makes it and out it pops half an hour like a photo processing machine.

 

I really hate going shopping mainly because Ive got to change in a changing room and they have those really tall mirrors on each wall so you view Everything.

 

The way your feeling though is obvously causing you considerble amount of pain and anguish and vise you to talk to a proffessional with experience with BDD even if you dont have it they may be able to help you come to terms with what you already have that make you.

 

There maybe similair techneques that you can use that are used to help sufferes of BDD.

 

there is a BDD support group online.

 

http://www.bddsupport.org.uk/modules.php?op=modload&name=HomePages&file=preview&id=1

 

This is a good website too.

 

http://psychology.iop.kcl.ac.uk/cadat/GPs/BDD.aspx

 

wether you have BDD or not it is clear you need further support.

 

 

JsMumx

[smiley1590]

i'm not that tall i'm 5ft 5inch tall i'm quite short just feel really depressed over mye weight feel really tired ALOT and really worthless ...

 

XKLX

[JsMum]

i'm not that tall i'm 5ft 5inch tall i'm quite short just feel really depressed over mye weight feel really tired ALOT and really worthless ...

 

XKLX

 

 

5ft 5Inches is considered an ideal height for a woman, that average height for a women in UK is 5ft 4 so your not short or tall, your ideal height so at least there something ideal your genes have given you.

 

Do you keep a food diary? have you had any blood tests to see if there is a physical reason why your not loosing weight, a frend of my mine had problems with her thyroid.

 

What about requesting to see a dietition to see if she can help you maintain a healthy diet.

 

Anyway your height is not short, or tall, its finex

 

JsMumx

[smiley1590]

i thought about keeping a food diary i don't think i'm eating enough calories but scared to eat FAT check the intake on 'everything' i put into my mouth if it is FAT have burn it off through exercise i'll ask weight nurse different questions i'll write some down for her ... about where i go from here!

 

has anyone heard of EDH? someone at work told me and another work colleague about them pills! as speeds up metabolism!

 

XKLX

[bid]

I think that finding things to do that shift the focus away from your worries about yourself would be good and healthier for you.

 

I remember you posted about doing charity runs...how is that going?

 

Bid

[smiley1590]

i've tried shifting focus away from my worries about 'me' but keep resurfacing coming back to haunt me and keep trying push them away more they come back worse and stronger than before! i waiting to hear if i get transported sorted for next charity run in june for cancer research fingers crossed as really want to do it!

 

XKLX