Decisions

[darkshine]

As adults there's lots of decisions to make. When the outcomes are really clear I can do this - like choosing something based on cost vs. how well it is made, or between a positive outcome and a negative one.

 

But today, I went into town with my friend and we were buying pots for the garden, everything was fine until we walked down the next aisle in the store we were in and there were more pots on offer (this was the 3rd aisle of pots) and I just freaked right out because of the choices - had to drag him outside for 10 minutes while I calmed down.

 

So I'm standing outside trying to explain why exactly I had to suddenly leave the store like that, because my head just screamed at me to do that very thing and if I hadn't I would have totally lost the plot.

 

While standing there I had to go over and over what we were going to do, went through every option available including working out the costs that I had memorised.

 

Once it was all planned to the last detail and only then, did I feel able to go back into the store.

 

So damn annoying that something so idiotically simple can turn into a major event.

 

All I needed was a few pots because the winter weather had cracked the previous ones - it seemed simple - go out, grab some, whack the plants or whatever into the new ones and bosh bosh job done - but oooh nooo - I freak out over variations of plastic....

 

Ok, so it's mildly funny now - but it really wasn't at the time!!!

 

What do you do to help reduce the possibility of this happening? The last time I was in that store they only had 1 aisle of pots!!! I can't plan for every possibility - but are there things that I can do to not freak out over things that really aren't that important (not important enough to freak out over anyway).

[LancsLad]

The truth is darkshine we are living in an age where reatailing has beome a psychological science, and as consumers we are very much the victims. The problem is that the majority of consumers are pretty conditioned to this way of shopping through constant exposure that most of the time they play by the retailers rules. The rule here is not go back and exchange your pot but pick up the extras ones as well as that's the easiest thing to do and review the products to see which is the better one in the comfort of your own home, ratailer win!

 

I would be comforted in the fact that in some ways at a level you can see through this sort of manipulation. The problem is if we do not want to be a victim it can be very hard work and many people can't be bothered. I know my partner hates going shopping with me or even watching a TV channel with adverts on. I am constantly pointing out how fraudulent a lot of statements are. I suspect if I wanted to I could get possibly two or three adverts removed of TV a month for making false claims, but I bet there are many who sit there and complain but then do nothing.

 

Another factor and a legacy of the last 20 years is that a lot of mainstream corporative shops are full of shop assistants who as I can see it walk around as a simple deterant for shoplifting and shelve stacking. Long gone is the time when people saw this as a job they could be proud off, and as such something to work at, rather they see it as a stop gap and one due to wage levels which they put no interest in to.

 

In practice I tend to shop in the following ways;

 

Internet. This is not because I do not like shopping but because it is the one place where you can find out information about products. What this means is you need to trust your own judgements. Often I might be in a position where I have the choice of two products, then you simply have to make a call and stick to it. In this area I tend to follow the advice of any online reviews. The fortunate thing is most products are reasonably good these days at least for a year or two putting planned obsolecence to one side. I also tend to find a product and then reserve and collect it if at all possible. I know if when I get to the store and examine the product and don't like it I can hand it back over for a full refund if needed on the spot. The cost being my petrol.

 

Specialist Independent Retailers. In an ideal world this would be my choice every time. The biggest problem here is lack of choice. Small independents can only stock so much stuff and we should appreciate that. They will often aslo be more expensive. My usuall approach is to ring up an independent store and explain the type of thing I am after and have they got anything suitable, I might do this to two or three. I then ask for the persons name and say I will be in in an hour or so. When I go to the store I always make a point of seeing the same person if I can and they are prepared. If they need to do a bit of homework on a product whilst I travel there at least they have a chance. I will be honets and I have been bullshitted in an attempt to get me there and they have said they don't have it yet and will order it for me, but this is very rare if you are specific on the phone. At times I do try this response with bigger stores but it is harder to get through to someone at times.

 

The final approach when I have to deal with a large highstreet store is check the internet and get the details of a product they stock and note it down. I then walk into the store spot the nearest person and get them to take me to it. I then put the blinkers on and pay for it and leave the store.

 

I think Darkshine by recognising that strong psychological forces are at work from labeling, through to store layout, from confusing promotion offers, to high vale products all being at eye height, to aisle end products and finally ignorant store staff you are aware of a big problem. This sort of thing frustrates me as well I hate being manipulated. we are not the only ones who feel this way think of Argos and how that is designed to provide an alternative solution to shopping. When you add to that fluorescent lights, air conditioning unite, changes in temperature, smells and noise shopping isn't the most fun to be honest. To counteract these forces you need a plan. Each Christmas for example I try to break my record for the quickest shop. This year I planned our family shop with my partner and got it all done in a morning and sat down for a beer at lunchtime. I looked at my partner and she was disapointed because she was looking forwards to a full day out and getting abit in here and there in the evenings after work. In contrast in my mind I had just nailed it!

 

In your own situation it might have been a case that despite all the best planning you become simply overloaded in that case i would walk away, get some fresh air sit in the car for a bit and re-evalute the situation. I know that this is better than walking backwards and forwards from one point of sale to the other trying to compare information carrying product around. The last point is why not drop them an e-mail and say this is how it feels because there will be many NT's who feel a similar thing but not possibly at the intensity levels you or I do along with others on this forum. There has to be a point where things go too far and the retailers back off. Unfortunatly durring these hard times I am seeing more and more of this overt pushy retailing as they try and get those last pennies out of our pockets and into their tills.

 

Just a few thoughts.

[chris54]

When in the supermarket the cheapest stuff is always (Nearly) on the bottom self.

My wife hate shopping with me as I will ponder, work out the unit price, walkaway, come back, think about it and then go home and get it on line.

 

I hate shopping.

[A-S warrior]

shoping late at night is nice, i do most of mine after 10pm, no one to bother me, no one hogging all the reduced items, no one bumping into me and not apologising just stairing at me like ive just punched a toddler in the face. its just me, a wide open store and all the time in the world. i even glide down the aisle by running with my trolley and then stoping my feet and skidding, yes immuture but if you can have fun in your 20,s when can you? i also sample the really expensive taste the difference black grapes to see if i want to pay £4.99 a bunch. and i quite often switch the stickers on reduced items to make my item cheaper. its stealing really but the way tesco do that price drop thing, lower the price of one item in the store, and then raise the price of another item in the store sky high to componsate for the offer its the least they deserve. they treat us like ###### these supermarkets, they think we,re all stupid and insult our intelligence. another benifit of shopping late, you have alot of time to think, so nothing gets past you. you know when tesco are doing a £2.50 each or 2 for £5.00 deal. you think ha! absolutley shameless!

[darkshine]

Ah, the dreaded food shopping and supermarkets - I absolutely 100% hate those places - and I avoid doing the shopping whenever I can get away with it!!!

 

In fact I'm not keen on shopping full stop - the only purchasing I like is when its to do with one of my obsessions and then I'm all too happy to spend hours hunting the internet for various random items

 

LancsLad - the story of you and your partner doing the xmas shopping was really funny cuz I can imagine you being all impressed that you got it done so quick, and her sitting there disappointed maybe thinking "well that took the fun out of it" (It's even funnier because I too turn it into a goal to get it over with a quickly as possible and use the internet to locate things or check the price differences before I go out - it really speeds things up!!).

 

I'm a big fan of argos - I don't buy everything I need from there but its great for comparing stuff so I have a rough idea of cost before I go out - I hate spending more than I have to so this is important to me.

 

In hindsight I think the whole plant pot issue was stupid - a day later it feels like I blew it completely out of proportion - but at the time there was too much info, too many options, several types of offers, added to the high level of stress I have most times that I am out (especially in town because its busy and hectic and basically because there's people there).... if only that store had a website or opened 24/7 like the supermarkets and I could have gone at 3 in the morning

 

I like the idea of skimming down empty aisles on the trolley like I used to do most of the time when I was younger - I still occasionally do it when there's a rare empty aisle - and I'm 31 so don't expect to grow out of it AS Warrior

[SidiousUK]

Had something similar with toothpaste once.

All I wanted was something that cleans my teeth but the options were way too many for me to comprehend or the logic

 

Colgate total - for total protection so why waste money producing Colgate whiter than white. I couldn't comprehend it at all.

 

I now shop online to avoid this and the carbon based lifeforms and as I buy the same every week, I just have to review my saved list and click order!

 

SidiousUK

[darkshine]

Yeah toothpaste is another thing that drives me nuts - I go for colgate total or the tartar control version (when it can be found) cuz that's what my dentist advised

 

My main issue with doing grocery shopping online is that the options they choose when my choice is unavailable are not acceptable - if I say I want such and such a brand at a certain amount and price then that's what I want.

 

I've used online shopping with tesco and asda before and consistently I am given several "alternative" items that I didn't want or like - what's worse is that I've once managed to get someone else to stop by the store that day to check and they had my items in the store - which just makes the whole thing even more annoying!!!

 

As a result I choose a different and equally annoying household chore and get someone else to have the supermarket chore instead.