nannys funeral, getting ready.

[A-S warrior]

on the 10th is my nans funeral and ive been asked to to do a reading, it will be this:

 

 

http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CE4QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scrapbook.com%2Fpoems%2Fdoc%2F843%2F257.html&ei=EEqdT7mTJ4mb8QPDgd3aDg&usg=AFQjCNEugJErye2jXH1hX6Vosex1smdOMA&sig2=gm44ucch2LJhxfdlOeeUnw

 

 

im also going up with my cousion when she reads her reading incase she cracks up and cant finish it.

 

alot of pressure on me to be the strong one, (well because i am) the only problem i have is that i have a slight reading problem. its not so bad i cant read the words, its just reading it, getting the brain to proccess it, and then saying it out loud in a strong and clear voice. i really want to bring my 'A' game and be at my best when doing my reading, any tips?

[LancsLad]

I think a big element in public speaking is pacing and I think the context here will help. A common fault is people tend to rattle through what they want to say and this can cause problems. The first is they do not have time to have a good intake of breath and as a result their voice tends to get weaker as they progress. A-S Warrior I would be concious of standing tall and taking good breaths between sections. This poem is well structured to help with this and having a break in between each four line section will come across as being thoughtfull and reverent an ideal tone given the ocassion.

 

The other big issue will be dealing with your own emotions. There is no need to think you have to be strong in this situation just be yourself. A lot of people will be happy that you are taking on this responsibility and it is not them so they will not be judgemental. If you find this emotionally difficult thats ok big boys do cry at times and this might be one of those times. If you try and control your emotions too much there is a danger of becoming anxious about your role and turn it into a performance which it is not.

 

My last point is try and make a balanced judgement of how much to reherse this. Its ok to have the text in front of you if you need it. I think there is a danger in this scenario of practicing to such an extent that you become bored with the poem and as such your rendition of it is devoid of all emotion. Just practice it enough so it is still fresh with yourself and this freshness will come across to others.

 

Hope some of this makes sense if it makes you feel better practice this on some neutral friends and ask them for an honest opinion. At the end of the day do your Nan proud and think of her on this important and special day,

 

best wishes.

[sesley]

practice in front of a mirror at home with a hairbrush as a pretend micorphone,like the popstars use. and practice reading at spot beyond your image in the mirror.like the wall behind your refelction, if you find looking at faces difficult when you read.

[chris54]

I hope it all goes well.

 

It is not something I can do, at my dads funeral it was left to my nephew, (Oldest son of oldest son) as non of the rest of us were up to it.

[JeanneA]

I wish you good luck, it's not something I could do I'm afraid, but I'm sure you will do very well. Do let us know how the funeral goes.

 

It is a lovely poem I have just read it.

Edited April 29, 2012 by JeanneA

[darkshine]

I did a reading on my Nan's funeral - it was about the same length - I practised reading out loud to myself in private a few times and then when I had to step up and actually do it I tried to pretend I was somewhere on my own just reading.

 

Good luck with it - and good luck being the strong one - I had to be the strong one at my Nan's funeral too - It was one of the hardest days in my life - a real low point. Hope you get through it all right. You look after yourself as much as you can before and after cuz people don't always see that you can be upset too and its hard not being upset in the same way as the rest of the family - so its important you look after yourself in between the times you feel you are needed.

 

Rambling.... sorry - just want to wish you luck really and express that I hope you'll be ok and everything when times are hard and sad and everything - I'm doing a bad job at it cuz I can't find the right words...

 

Best

 

Darkshine

[A-S warrior]

thanks everybody for the replys, i,ll keep you all posted on how the day goes, things are getting better now, back in the gym today toying with the 50kg dumbells and having some fun once again, back where i should be, building muscle and eating large amounts of animal tissue in the kitchen.

[JeanneA]

Hiya glad to hear things are looking brighter, it's good that you are back in the gym. How is your sleeping pattern are you getting much sleep or not?

[Sally44]

That is a beautiful reading.

[A-S warrior]

Hiya glad to hear things are looking brighter, it's good that you are back in the gym. How is your sleeping pattern are you getting much sleep or not?

 

 

sleeping well, slightley noctournal again but easily fixed.

[Haze]

as warrior sorry to hear of your loss

 

we to have only just laid our mum to rest four weeks and now we have no grandparents which is hard work no break for us my eldest is coping well but my youngest is still so angry he his huge confused so i have deicded with the doc to get a a person involved who helps children with autisim understand death it is good to hear you are dealing with in a positive way

 

hazex

[caci]

Have you been able to meet the person who will be conducting the service ?

 

I see you are going to be with you cousin to take over if she can not carry on with her reading, and I think it might be sensible to arrange for the person conducting to take over from you, if you are struggling.

 

I realise that sometimes people appear to struggle, then manage to compose themselves and carry on, so maybe you could have an agreed sign that you are wanting the other person to take over from you. Maybe if you agree that you will turn the page you are reading face down, and take a step back, as being the signal ?

 

I know at my dad's funeral, we (my brother, sister and I) wrote the words, but none of us were able to cope with reading them out loud at the service. (we are all adults, in our 40's and NT)

 

I am sure your nan will be proud of you, and your cousin, whether you are able to read on the day, or not.

[sesley]

my son recently attended his grans funeral and coped very well,I warned him days leading up to the day of the limonsine and the herse and how things will go and ( he thought he would be a celeb for going in a limo ) he had a ipad to play with during the bits he would not cope with,like the speaking bits. I went into the church with him and showed him nans coffin so he could understand some of what was to go on. We then waited in a quiet room with other family memebers and went in to the church together. At the end he happily got back into the limo feeling like a celeb and then out to the cemetary, he was then fasinated with the hole and was interested in how they dug it and happily helped throw in flowers on to the coffin and some dirt as well. He coped very well the whole time.

[A-S warrior]

thankyou to everybody for your replys, its much appriciated.

[A-S warrior]

going through my reading tomorrow with a friend to make sure ive got it down. im also going to get it printed on coulored paper becacuse for some reason i find it easier to read. just updating for anyone who cares lol.

[JeanneA]

Hi AS I'm sure you will be fine when you have to do your reading, so try not to worry too much. We will all be thinking of you on this forum and look forward to hearing how your day went. Take care and good luck!

[Tally]

Anything that makes it easier is one less thing to worry about. I'm sure your reading will go just fine after all the effort you've put in to preparing.

[A-S warrior]

thankyou jeanne and tally, went through it today, i have it printed on peach coulred paper with the lines split up nice and clearly. rehearsed it today in an empty church with my friend watching. breezed through it with this new layout and feeling confident. now lets repeat the same with a full church and my familly watching with tear filled eyes. (im just going to blank it out and get zoned in lol)

[A-S warrior]

all done! thank fu*k for that!