Teenage son just diagnosed with Aspergers

[caroliner1973]

Hi, I have just newly joined the site. My thirteen year old son has just been diagnosed (although not formally) by the school educational psychologist as having Aspergers. Since he started high school last year he has had real problems with social skills i.e. always being argumentative with teachers and even the head teacher, especially when my son thinks he is in the right!! it is a sort of relief to know that he isnt a "bad" as sucy, and that it is aspergers that has caused the way he views social situations, and the difficulties he has, especiallly when in a large class.

[Beebee]

Hi and welcome.!

 

Im mum to two lovely children -'J ' my son, who was diagnosed with aspergers in July 2010 aged 15 years old and 'C' my daughter who is 11 years old.

 

The forum is a great place to be, to seek advice if needed or just for support from people in the same circumstances as yourself.!

 

Bee :0))

[A-S warrior]

lol your son sounds like me when im on one, on the forums.

 

welcome

[oxgirl]

Hi and welcome,

My lad was like that when he was 13, he is 18 now. He would shout out in class and shout at the teachers, etc. He said recently that he just used to react and didn't actually consider at all how it looked to the other children in the class, he didn't give it a second thought, he would just shout and get frustrated and made no effort to hide it. He's changed so much since then and is so much more aware of how that could make him look to others and he wouldn't dream of drawing attention to himself like that now. Five years can make so much difference.

Does your lad have any help at school?

 

~ Mel ~

Edited May 19, 2012 by oxgirl

[smileyK]

i was officially diagnosed at 14 with A.S .... by CAMHS by clinical pyschologist and LD nurse

 

XKLX

[darkshine]

Hi

[Seeto200]

That sounds familiar, I still have clashes with authority figures now. I think it may be good to try and see it from his perspective. Just because someone has higher authority doesn't automatically make them right! But I digress, he can have quite a full life, I am an IT contractor and although I may have ASD, I enjoy a good social life. I have taken a lot of lessons from my own experiences and I am happy that I have ASD because I do see things differently.

 

Your son can only learn about life on his own, you just need be supportive when he gets it wrong.

[trekster]

Hello and welcome

 

My mum has never accepted my ASD and behaves as though i am being naughty and doing things on purpose. Even when i showed her and read out stuff from the autism alert card it wasnt enough to convince her. i was diagnosed in my late teens and my mum and sister blame me for my behaviour, they really dont get it. im not being literal according to them im splitting hairs and end up being told "shut up" if im literal more than once about one shouted thing.

 

I hope you will both find ways of constructively dealing with your sons Aspergers. There might be a local NAS parent support group in your area but bear in mind they recieve no funding or volunteer expenses for their hard work.

 

Authorty figures scare the life out of me but i think thats in relation to my CPTSD feeding my autism. i get angry when im scared of stuff and people dont realise that is the point where my ASD is in full overload and i need to be removed from the situation or the situation removed from me..i have some communication cards to use when im around a number of people to help me communicate.

 

One problem was that i felt people were stopping me from going to the loo, i need reminding to go to the loo but at the same time dont display conventional 'needing the loo' type behaviours. Now i have a card so i can tell people where im going and remember that im going to the loo. This is one reason why i feel aspergers isnt a valid diagnosis for me but classic autism would be due to the extreme sensory needs i have to function in life.

 

Good luck, there are books out there aimed at parents like yourself and autistics like your son.

[trekster]

Hi and welcome,

My lad was like that when he was 13, he is 18 now. He would shout out in class and shout at the teachers, etc. He said recently that he just used to react and didn't actually consider at all how it looked to the other children in the class, he didn't give it a second thought, he would just shout and get frustrated and made no effort to hide it. He's changed so much since then and is so much more aware of how that could make him look to others and he wouldn't dream of drawing attention to himself like that now. Five years can make so much difference.

Does your lad have any help at school?

 

~ Mel ~

 

i dont realise when im shouting at people, partly because a number of family members are deaf. My mum, cousin and gran are all deaf but i have sensitive hearing, in some ways that is helpful (i can tell gran when the phones ringing or repeat things others cant to her), in other ways it is painful and distressing eg using a keyboard.

 

Low frustration tolerance can be a feature of autism. i have it quite severely and im just about trying to work out what i need and dont need in my life to stay chilled. Also i am starting to realise i do deserve some happiness and things that others have in life eg friends.

 

My awareness of how i seem to others started to develop once i went off gluten and dairy. The weird thing is i did it to show others that it wouldnt work for me and then they were right. i even now have the guts to say to someone 'you were right and i just couldnt take in what you were saying at the time'. i tend to say 'no' to anything i consider demanding at 1st then change my mind later.