Dealing with interalized distress

[robert7111a]

Dear all

 

From my experience, some people internalize their distress through feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness, helplessness, sadness and anxiety whilst others internalize their distress through aggression, anger, destructive and rule-breaking behaviour

 

What are your thoughts/experiences?

[robert7111a]

Mods...sorry I posted this in the wrong section. Could you please move to the relevant section - thanks

[Lyndalou]

I think 'internalised' distress is a bit of a misnomer because what's inside normally finds it's way out. I used to say that I had a 'very long fuse' because I was able to contain myself when I was upset. I stayed upset behind closed doors or walked around in the night in areas without street lights so no-one could see me crying or talking to myself and I imagine that mostly people could never tell that I was screaming inside. I always had a smile on my face and was chatty. Now and again I erupted spectacularly and I classed this as being when my fuse ran out. My fuse runs out a bit more frequenty these days so I'm probably a bit more of the externalised version now

[LancsLad]

I would tend to agree with Lyndalou on this one that it depends on things like personality, state of mind and the scenarios we encounter.

 

In general terms I would personally say I am the oposite I had a very short fuse when I was younger and it has got longer and longer as I have gone through life. I now almost always internalise stress and then through a process of analysis work it through and out of my system. Some might call this a mature approach I am not sure to be honset. There are times where letting of steam would be a far quicker solution for me and it might be appropriate because a lot of the time I stress about things which are not of my doing rather they are thoughtless acts of others and they should know.

 

I have to admit the one exception is dangerous driving I encounter when out training on my bike. I used to get very wound up when individuals nearly took me out. I realsied that all this was doing was increasing my chances of being in an acident in the next few minutes because my mind was not clear and concentrating on the task in hand rather i became anxious and fearfull. When someone comes close to taking me out I now tend to give it to them with a verbal onslaught. I have even had an HGV pull over and the driver get out ready for a fight who had second thoughts when I climbed off my bike. I know when I do this I feel better for it and my head is cleared.

 

At the end of the day however we respond it needs to be proportionate and one of the big problems with internalising stuff is that very often the level of anxiety does not stay the same it grows and this is why I think a lot of the time we might be better lighting that fuse, just as long as it is long enough for everyone else to get out of the way first.

 

Just a few thoughts.

[smileyK]

I would say I do keep every emotion/ feeling/thought locked safely away bottle up hidden inside of my head me! Find hard to express way I feel out I would say I'm fit both sides to what you saying really low self-esteem, hopelessness, sadness and anxiety but then also self destructive in lots of different ways all due to depression stress way I deal with it within me when gets too much overloaded! Pressure and strain I used be angry as was so lost and confused especially early teens assessments/ diagnoses tried

Edited June 14, 2012 by smileyK

[robert7111a]

I'm not very good at expressing my feelings...I tend to keep things to myself. I have always been anxious (and still am) and often fear the worst - even if nothing is going to happen. A certain scenerio may come up in my life and I will look for the negative aspects rather than the positives. My wife is a very postive person which probably gives me an excuse to think of the negatives more as I know she will agree and then come up with a list of positives to counter my argument. I have never really been an angry person and have never destructed anything in anger

[Shnoing]

If I feel distressed (which I usually am aware of only afterwards), I have to move around, or at least to squeeze myself (usually in the leg, or the earlobe).

My wife often asks what's wrong before I am conscientiously aware of the fact. I seem to be more on the aggressive side.

[darkshine]

I deal with internalised stress in a number of ways...

 

That is all I have to say

[Sa Skimrande]

For the sake of others no matter how bad it gets, I must contain it, although in times of extreme stress some does leak out, I just can't stop it, it's like trying to hang onto too many things as one thing make a bid for freedom, you grab at it and the movement loosens something else and that tries to escape and then comes the very real danger of just giving up and letting the whole lot go, but I understand there is a lot of people in prison and doped up on psych wards for doing just that.

 

Now I do understand internalising problems is not good for us, but what's the alternative, there isn't any, the caring society we are supposed to have isn't there in real terms and believe me I for one have tried as being single there is no one to share the burden or even talk issues through with.

 

But what is the eventual aim, everyone has emotional issues and I hope it would be an aim for society to be less emotional or for emotional problems to be quickly and efficiently dealt with, because what hope our future and what hope that of business if we never move forward in this area, we will forever be chasing our tails going nowhere ?