Seeing social worker next ties morning

[smileyK]

I got care package review meeting next Tuesday morning with social worker at mental health service as she taken over from care manager bit scared worried about it to be honest!!! as don't know this lady at all never met her before ! Hope she nice and don't let down disappoint like all rest from her team useless waste ! do I let her in how bad struggles etc! ? Quite embarrassed as mum spoke to her on phone and said she thinks excessive exercise taken place of self harm ( cutting myself)

[JeanneA]

Hi I'm sure all will go well, you must be very honest with her thats the main thing your aim should be to get a good care package that will really benefit you and your Mum. Try to go with a positive mind, this social worker could be a really good one Let us know how you get on, good luck :-)

[smileyK]

I already have Care package in place " supposedly" but invisible hidden now no NAS pyschology sessions for months haven't heard anything off senior NAS manager as waiting new pyschologist old pyschologist passed my contact details onto manager and my file as when new one has been found an appointment meeting needs be made around my work all hit and miss! I am not ringing chasing them so fed up of that ! Dont know what happen next in care package???!!! Clueless as if just left will funding run dry and end up with nothing left?

[smileyK]

Don't even know where my care package stands so complicated & confusing?! Don't even know who funds it where comes from anything ! So involved ! Hopefully this meeting shed some light on what's happening / what's going on !!!

[trekster]

I already have Care package in place " supposedly" but invisible hidden now no NAS pyschology sessions for months haven't heard anything off senior NAS manager as waiting new pyschologist old pyschologist passed my contact details onto manager and my file as when new one has been found an appointment meeting needs be made around my work all hit and miss! I am not ringing chasing them so fed up of that ! Dont know what happen next in care package???!!! Clueless as if just left will funding run dry and end up with nothing left?

 

i would flag this up with your Social Worker and explain you have tried chassing them. Also mention that you still need the support from this service due to your associated eating disorder and anxiety.

[smileyK]

I'm so scared worried dreading it to be honest! Hoping my mum come with me help understand things get muddled confused at but she got important test at hospital she got have done at 11am my appointment at 10 am I got so many things rushing round my head trying work out calm down relax chill but know going be nervous wreck going alone but too proud ask best friend come with me! I haven't got an ED! Just fat & ugly!

[trekster]

Your ED thinks you are fat and ugly this group doesnt.

[smileyK]

What makes you think I have an ED?! Not showing any signs at all!

[matzoball]

The fact that you constantly take risks with your health because you think you are overwieght(when clearly you are not), the fact you call yourself fat and ugly, the majority of your posts are to do with how overweight you think you are.This is what flags up an eating disorder to us. At the very least you have body dysmorphia - you're a very pretty girl and you have to start believing in yourself. This new social worker may be able to help you get through this so try and keep an open mind.

[smileyK]

What is body dysphormia ???

[darkshine]

A preoccupation with parts of your body or your size, where a perceived defect rules you life and your thoughts and causes distress, depression and anxiety. The perceived defect can be seen as ugliness despite people repeatedly telling that person that they are normal.

 

The focus can be on the whole body or any part of it.

 

It can be similar to ocd in a way - with a fixation on controlling or trying to change things to the point of obsession.

 

Associated behaviours, are checking yourself in the mirror, seeking reassurance, comparing yourself to others.

 

Edit - This is a brief explanation.... There's probably an NHS page or charity page with more detailed info - and of course, Wikipedia will have a page too....

Edited July 31, 2012 by darkshine

[smileyK]

Couldn't stop crying was a wreck mess lost my work keys this morning triggered off anxiety/ panic was upset was sobbing couldn't pull myself together don't know why I get so anxious panicked it awful when get myself such a state was going to walk to the gym just didn't feel up to it as had headache felt tired/ drained from all tears felt like care package review was " poor"

[smileyK]

Social worker said anything else I think needs adding to package I said don't really know what's out there for me or available she said any other activities I like try and do couldn't think of anything two support on my plan was 2 hours pyschology which is agreed is still a need with anxious state which was proven today! and then support workers that wasnt suitable for part time work as bank staff trying balance anything was more stressful/ anxious I told her unless in emergency crisis no one seems want to know be there feel so alone! Feel more scared than ever to be honest! Social worker did say shed chase up NAS pyschology sessions as been months ( April) since last one left wait for new one so frustrating! I was told cut down on gym hours but not give up on gym told her feel bad guilty if cut back or cut down I told her was doing 3 exercise activities in one day she said too much like everyone else told me but I don't think so I'll just carry on! Didn't help going today still feel bleak fed up had enough Told her don't feel like eating parents sometimes have force me to eat something anything! She told me as long as not eating cakes & crisps everyday my weight should be fine as told her won't up anti depressants in case of any weight gain ! I'm on 20 Mg at moment scared move up any dosage anxious too ! Feel so emotionally weak / fragile right now feel like could break been in food of tears most of day now eyes hurt bad! Sting! She told me instead of going gym all time should try other activities I like doing or enjoy have me relax chill out time time out! She said self esteem needs lot work on! Didnt let her in on " baby food diet"

[A-S warrior]

What makes you think I have an ED?! Not showing any signs at all!

 

*brace yourself, beacuse hear comes a cold rush of reality, and i appolgise if you take this as a personal attack*

 

are you a troll? seriously? the amount of times ive read your posts and said to myself, "i cant belive she just said that"

 

your not showing signs of an eating disorder? when you,ve posted like 800 topics on dieting, with how many different accounts do you have? and now you pretend you dont know what body dismorphia is when me and you were talking about it like 3 or 4 weeks ago. i just think your on one big fishing trip, and pepole are to polite to ignore you.

 

your upset? depressed? fed up? one of my best friends is dying of cancer at 27 and is living life to the full, and even though everybodys heart around her is breaking she is still smiling and lighting up the room with her presence. you,ve just got stuck into a self hating rut, and you need to have a glass of water thrown in your face to wake you up. beacuse here are the facts,

 

1) your alive

 

2) you have a job (which is already more than me)

 

3) you have access to clean water and food

 

4) your healthy

 

5) you have friends

 

6) you have a futre, and hope for better and greater things, my friend might not make 30

 

7) you have a familly that care about you.

 

 

the bottom line is i cant help you, no one here can help you, we are friends and no more. the nhs sure as hell cant help you, there as much use as a chocolate fire gaurd. the only person that can help you is you guessed it toots, YOU!

 

only you know how your brain really works, and whats going to work, all we can do is direct you, but you dont listen. without dierection where do you expect to end up? the truth is, and i know it, and i think deep down you know it, you have the strengh inside to do it alone. dont under estimate your true potential that you have, to indipendentley help yourself over the finish line. beacuse at the end of the day theres only one person smiley can rely on, and thats smiley.

 

now you can get upset at the true things i said, and report my post. or you can take it on board and think about how much strengh you really do have, start listening to pepoles posts, and start thinking in a more balanced way about yourself. either way this is my final reasponse to you, beacuse ive said all i can say.

 

if you are a troll, then may god have mercy on you.

 

members might not like my post, but im not always a neccersarily nice person, i dont claim to be a good person, and i never have done.

Edited August 1, 2012 by A-S warrior

[matzoball]

A-S Warrior - that was just plain out of order. There's being honest and then there is this. You haven't been on this forum very long in the great scheme of things so you don't really know the majority of us. Smiley is not a troll. She does not act remotely like one so to attack her so is so beyond inappropriate I cannot begin to even fathom why you would attack her so viciously. She may not listen to advice, but lambasting her because of how she utilises the forum is just wrong. She needs help, but this is not the way to do it.

 

I have had cancer removed 3 times in as many years and would not dream of making smiley feel the way no doubt she does now.

 

So please apologise and remember that you were once accused of trolling yourself(by me admittedly) and got an apology when you got upset about it.

 

We are all supposed to be supportive on here.

[trekster]

i would click on the top link in this weblink, download the report then underline all the sections that apply to you.

Then make copies 1 for your mum, 1 for you, 1 for your social worker and 1 for psychology team.

 

i happen to know Andrew Powell personally and the 'taking responsibility' report i did for my dissertation.

Many spectrummies agree with the content of the 'taking responsibility' report.

 

Below is a link to the self advocacy booklet designed by some folk on the spectrum.

http://www.autism.or...f-advocacy.aspx

Edited August 1, 2012 by trekster

[A-S warrior]

A-S Warrior - that was just plain out of order. There's being honest and then there is this. You haven't been on this forum very long in the great scheme of things so you don't really know the majority of us. Smiley is not a troll. She does not act remotely like one so to attack her so is so beyond inappropriate I cannot begin to even fathom why you would attack her so viciously. She may not listen to advice, but lambasting her because of how she utilises the forum is just wrong. She needs help, but this is not the way to do it.

 

I have had cancer removed 3 times in as many years and would not dream of making smiley feel the way no doubt she does now.

 

So please apologise and remember that you were once accused of trolling yourself(by me admittedly) and got an apology when you got upset about it.

 

We are all supposed to be supportive on here.

 

 

it may sound strange to you, but i care about every member of this forum. now in the past, i have been in a simular situation and the best cure for me was a metophoric 'slap in the face' and to have have things put in perpective. ive been very supportive to smiley, (you only seem to see my controversal posts) but i thought the tough love approach was worth a try, who knows it might of worked? if i diddnt care i would of just been nasty through the whole post, but i was careful to sound as supportaive as possible without sounding too soft. i wrote a whole topic on eating disorders aimed at smiley, and have replyed to all of her diet related topics. i admit i posted in character slightly, beacaue im not very harsh by nature, and the only trolling ive ever done was just a bit of mischief on other forums, i never attacked anybody, and i wasnt trying to attack anybody here, i was hopefully getting through to her. tough love always works for me, and most pepole i know, anythings worth a try right?

 

one thing you,ll learn about me, is i,ll try any angle to help someone (even if it sounds rude)

 

also i,ll always try to lighten things up with a touch of humor, and it will sound like im being a t*at but im not, like on that topic with the boy having confused feelings about his mother, i was a touch disturbed, and could only react with humor, i do have aspergers and frequently get misunderstood, mainly by other pepole with a-s.

 

it was a hugely risky post to make, but if its worked, then it was worth the gamble, if not then i appologise.

[smileyK]

I'm so sorry didn't mean cause any of this! I'm too blame! Feel bad guilty All avenues have been taken even my niece comments on stuff that scares worries me in case rubs off on her it's just my body image she was at doctors when she told weight nurse my nanna going force feed my auntie cake ( not literally)

[trekster]

I've just gone on SmileyKs profile page (like anyone else on here can do) and here is what is on her 'about me' page;

 

"I HAD BEST ANGELS EVER with their wise words of advice ... when needed :

NAN ST - 31/10/09

NAN CR - 03/05/09

 

SADLY MISSED EACH AND EVERY DAY!!! LOVED NEVER EVER FORGOTTEN! X

 

Leigha Paige my world ma everyfink!!! XXX"

 

Smileyks 2 grans died within 5 months of each other. Yes it was 3 years ago but the pain of loosing someone close to you never goes away.

 

I've got 1 grandparent left and rely heavily on her for emotional support. She has been there to guide me in many ways and now feels unable to support me. Our family is also struggling like many other families in the UK.

 

Currently i am trying to find a female social worker with bags of patience that uses social model disability and the guidance set in the BASW book to help me. i was waiting 10 months to finally be allocated a male social worker and the agency knew that a female one was in my best interests.

 

Any mental health meeting i attend tends to have my feelings of 'that went badly' dismissed as 'that went really well', a friend of mine thinks they are 'trying to just make me feel better'.

 

How is being pestered until you get a paper from another room about your inner most deepest memories only for that paper to have 0 influcence on the final outcome 'a meeting going well'?

Also when i was out of the room they shut the door then claimed i had shut the door until i protested with "no i left the door open on purpose" to which they admitted that i had left the door open. When i went in and demanded to know what they had been talking about and handed over the letter which only got a 'thank you' rather than a confirmed diagnosis of CPTSD.

 

SmileyK i am posting this message in the hope you can get the help you need to live a happy and productive life, this is a basic human right to live a fullfilling and rewarding life in socierty.

 

Ive been through self harm (keeping details confidential as TMI) and realise it just hurts me more and punishes the wrong person. I've had breakdowns and lost relatives, recently another friend of mine died (who i see for abotu 4 days per year) and another friend of mine is dying.

 

If you wish to PM me we can write an action plan or a care plan together which you can show your social worker. I've done this for a friend of mine because i care about people it is a positive aspect of my asperger syndrome.

[smileyK]

Only reason saw social worker was to review care package she said ring her if need to talk anytime only met her yesterday so don't feel trust connection there that takes time & energy no more planned meetings just one yesterday that been and gone! Think SW now relying on NAS pyschology once has chased up to pick up pieces where they last left off in April time

[smileyK]

Trekster - " hit nail directly on head" with first line about my Nans people after 3 years keep saying will get better times a healer will get over it move on think positive memories not horrid bad ones all so draining so hard fight back grief pain heartache misery after 3 years I struggle everyday inner self battling my negative emotions/ feelings when have AS & depression together can be such challenge so difficult like mission impossible! I don't let people in lot on pain grief upset shut down at funeral I want my both Nans be looking down smiling be proud of me not guilty I was their grand daughter wish could run away from this whole situation how males feel trapped eaten up inside I feel Like let everyone down feel selfish bad list endless don't deserve any help/ support! I cried so many tears of losing both them such short space time together didn't give time process one let alone too! So much I trip myself over guilt regret what if situation end up driving me mad crazy not good don't know how stop broken record as breaking me literally!

[smileyK]

Ive made so many wrong posts on here I'm sorry messing things up for everyone causing mayhem trouble!!! I really am! Put my hands in the air " I NEED HELP " end of just scared afraid owe up admit it in reality hear it out loud

[matzoball]

it may sound strange to you, but i care about every member of this forum. now in the past, i have been in a simular situation and the best cure for me was a metophoric 'slap in the face' and to have have things put in perpective. ive been very supportive to smiley, (you only seem to see my controversal posts) but i thought the tough love approach was worth a try, who knows it might of worked? if i diddnt care i would of just been nasty through the whole post, but i was careful to sound as supportaive as possible without sounding too soft. i wrote a whole topic on eating disorders aimed at smiley, and have replyed to all of her diet related topics. i admit i posted in character slightly, beacaue im not very harsh by nature, and the only trolling ive ever done was just a bit of mischief on other forums, i never attacked anybody, and i wasnt trying to attack anybody here, i was hopefully getting through to her. tough love always works for me, and most pepole i know, anythings worth a try right?

 

one thing you,ll learn about me, is i,ll try any angle to help someone (even if it sounds rude)

 

also i,ll always try to lighten things up with a touch of humor, and it will sound like im being a t*at but im not, like on that topic with the boy having confused feelings about his mother, i was a touch disturbed, and could only react with humor, i do have aspergers and frequently get misunderstood, mainly by other pepole with a-s.

 

it was a hugely risky post to make, but if its worked, then it was worth the gamble, if not then i appologise.

 

Your intentions, however honourable are a bit misguided. Yes, one half of what you said was supportive - but only after you accused her of being a troll and then berated her for talking about her problems because she doesn't have it as bad as your friend(which you fully have my sympathies for). Then at the end you again made it negative by accusing her of being a troll - again.

 

I know this is because you are frustrated with Smiley not seeming to listen.

 

You aren't the first person to get frustrated with Smiley when she doesn't seem to listen, I myself have told her off. But it's the way you have went about it that I have the problem with. You even admit that the post may draw some fire because you know you aren't being very nice.

 

I'm not saying you can't express yourself, I'm certainly not telling you to censor yourself.

 

But you are an adult. You know the difference between right and wrong. Tough love may work for you - well try and bear in mind it doesn't work for everybody. Especially for someone as emotionally vunerable as Smiley is right now. So doling out what you feel is support in this instance has actually been more damaging.

 

Trekster is offering support the right way by referring her to the right people - she's not having a go. I have been firm and supportive also(I hope).

 

It's a really nice thing that you care about people on here, and you want to help - but please be yourself and not a character or use an angle - I think you'd see more positive results that way. I don't say the right thing all the time - I have AS and I also get misunderstood so please don't think I don't understand. I know you enough to know you would rather say what I think, than let it go by.

 

Smiley - you are not causing mayhem or trouble. You were just reaching out which is what this place is for - just do us all a favour and please listen to the advice you are given. People on here care what happens to you, and just want to see you healthy and happy.

[A-S warrior]

I'm so sorry didn't mean cause any of this! I'm too blame!

 

 

nah i was kind of harsh, (well very harsh actully) just know i was trying to be cruel to be kind, i wana see you happy and also having a laugh with us now and then, bit of a risky post on my part, i wont try that tactic too often i dont think.

[A-S warrior]

@matzoball yeah, i see the error of my ways there and i agree with your post. it was worth a try for an outside chance it would work though.

[robert7111a]

Smileyk, what help are you getting with your depression? And have you seen a bereavement counsellor?

 

Also, are you at liberty to say exactly what meds you are currently taking?

[trekster]

(snip) Put my hands in the air " I NEED HELP " end of just scared afraid owe up admit it in reality hear it out loud

 

Do you prefer communicating with your social worker in writing/email or on the phone?

 

Did you manage to download a copy of the booklet from the link that I gave you?

[A-S warrior]

bereavement counsellor

 

 

 

that could well be the golden ticket here. i think smiley should think about seeing one.

 

my nan died in april and i feel completley emotionless about it, im a bit worryed to be honest, its not right. i was close to my nan, and its almost like im not bothered about it at all. i spent the whole funeral laughing, and i have no idea why.

 

if everyone in my familly was blue, i'd be green. if everyone went left i'd go right. - thats how i view my aspergers.

 

 

pointless off topic hyjack rant, but hey lol

[trekster]

http://www.childbereavement.org.uk/Portals/0/Support%20and%20Information/Supporting%20Bereaved%20CYP%20with%20ASD%20%20JA%20format.pdf

[smileyK]

robert - the 'help' i'm getting with my depression is medication (paroxetine 20Mg) and exercise (gym walking ) trekster -havent got my SW email address maybe easier by phone what do i say exactly? umm??? about my body image issues? eating anxieties? she did ask some questions connected to exercise and the gym how often i go? do i go after work? how many hours i spend there? no haven't downloaded link yet sorry! will do though! thanks! and A-S warrior- i have had bereavement counselling already with old NAS pyschologist

 

XKLX

[smileyK]

was ready planning let loose to my best friend who trust with 'every thought' about my 'baby food diet plan' that ready to start soon!? but too scared/worried in the end let it slip even though desperate too feel weak!

 

XKLX