Emotions

[dekra]

Hi guys,

 

My husband and I were talking the other night and he made an observation that all my emotions were extremes, either totally off or there in extreme measures. This is for both positive emotions like affections and for negative emotions like anger. He wonders if this may be connected to my possible ASD.

 

Has anyone else experienced similar or been told the same from partners/family/friends?

[trekster]

Yes to both going from one extreme to another, sometimes warranting a bipolar diagnosis other times unconnected to bipolar or other additional disabilities.

[darkshine]

I've been told similar and I've felt similar.... but.... I know I experience a whole range of emotions from mild to strong, and I also know that some emotions I experience are very reactive and aren't always in proportion with what is happening.

 

I have so many emotional changes even at the smallest things throughout the day I figure that sometimes even though I can't always name what it is I'm feeling it might be that I'm ultra aware of things - internally and externally cuz it can be anything that sparks an emotional response, mood change and associated thoughts... and though sometimes the strength of my emotions does feel and appear extreme at times, I do feel a while range of other things between those extremes - that stuff just isn't as observable and I don't always know what the words are.

[Sa Skimrande]

Yes, emotions tend to be extremes, if one feels, one really feels and people get to know about it.

[dekra]

Thanks for your replies guys.

 

Trekster, I don't think I'm extreme enough to be bipolar, I do get depressed but as far as I am aware I've never been manic. I imagine BPD is much more extreme than I display and must be very difficult to live with.

 

DS, 2 things firstly I think you've described very well a lot of what I experience except rather than not being quite sure of my emotions I know what they are but am maybe just not interested in displaying them for the world. At school I was always told I walked around looking miserable, even when I was perfectly happy. That just seems to be the natural relaxed look my face has and I have always refused to walk around with a fake smile plastered on my face looking like an idiot for no reason. I will only smile in 2 circumstances, firstly when I am happy and secondly in a 1-2-1 situation like an interview or Dr's appt - at those I always smile and make eye contact, I learnt to do that in my teens, I do it well but I definately had to learn it. The second thing I was going to ask was do you/did you play WOW at all? Your name just suddenly rang a bell and I sort of think I might "know" you from WOW if you've ever used DS as your username on there. Might just be a co-incidence.

 

Sa, oh yes people get to know about it. My hubby says I am explosive if someone does something to me - no middle ground I go straight out gunning for them. It is actually negative emotions I seem to be more volatile on now that I think about it, maybe because I am in a stable loving relationship and have children - showing affection is a normal daily occurance.

[darkshine]

DS, 2 things firstly I think you've described very well a lot of what I experience except rather than not being quite sure of my emotions I know what they are but am maybe just not interested in displaying them for the world. At school I was always told I walked around looking miserable, even when I was perfectly happy. That just seems to be the natural relaxed look my face has and I have always refused to walk around with a fake smile plastered on my face looking like an idiot for no reason. I will only smile in 2 circumstances, firstly when I am happy and secondly in a 1-2-1 situation like an interview or Dr's appt - at those I always smile and make eye contact, I learnt to do that in my teens, I do it well but I definately had to learn it. The second thing I was going to ask was do you/did you play WOW at all? Your name just suddenly rang a bell and I sort of think I might "know" you from WOW if you've ever used DS as your username on there. Might just be a co-incidence.

 

Nope never played WOW although I did spend a week with a friend and watched them play and I could have easily got addicted to it - as such I decided to avoid it because I knew I would lose my life and oh how I wish I had played it because it isn't as though I did anything better with my life at the time - I could have had some fun instead!!!!

 

I'm definitely unsure of some of my emotions, I sort of know what I'm feeling but it doesn't seem to tie in with words to describe the emotion itself if that makes sense? But yeah, I also don't see the need to display everything on my face - this can be good and bad - good for poker, bad if you can't talk and nobody can tell how you feel.

 

I am forever grateful that I learned how to say some stuff to people because I found that with my blank face and lack of communication I was very isolated because of it, it was like sitting behind an invisible wall.

 

When I was amongst people more often I also used to get people to tell me to cheer up fairly often, my neutral face apparently looks like I'm miserable, but like you, I refuse to go around with a fake grin - my fake smile looks like a grimace anyway, or I look like I'm being sarcastic or something.

 

Of course I can smile if I am happy or if something is funny, and I can do so if I feel the need to be pleasant, but its a brief thing like "hey" and a fraction of a second smile to attempt to be friendly - but only if the situation requires it.

 

When I was a kid my jaw used to hurt when I smiled, at the point near the bottom of my ear, it used to feel like a pressure point was being pressed really really hard, but that was only with a proper smile or when I laughed - thankfully I grew out of that cuz it really used to hurt!!

[Mannify]

People have often told me to "Cheer up, it might never happen" (do they never consider the possibility that 'it' might already have done so? I bet someone somewhere has said that to someone who has just suffered some terrible loss), but I think it's because when I walk around I'm 'in my own little world' and deep in thought and that makes me look serious. However, there are times when I'm feeling particularly mirthful when I walk around with a manic grin which probably looks ridiculous.

Edited November 13, 2012 by Mannify

[darkshine]

My favourite responses to "cheer up it might never happen" are:

 

1. It already has

2. It just did

 

Both of these require either a deadpan response, a manic laugh, a strong hint of sarcasm or a rude glare

[Mike_GX101]

Yes I can reason with this to some degree because I do experience strong emotions at times. I think it has something to do with the social disability we all have here. When neurotypical's have emotional upsets, they reach out and comfort one another through conversation and through 'being there' and this helps to settle the soul and makes things okay again. In our cases however these things are less likely to occur and bad emotions are not flushed from our systems quite so easily.

 

The trick is to recognise what emotions we are experiencing and look at resolving those emotional upsets where possible before they get to boiling point. This is where something like CBT can be very effective.