Noskcaj86 Report post Posted December 22, 2012 Jack has very little patience, almost none at all. If he needs a drink, he needs it NOW! He doesnt seem to be able to wait for 1 minute, and if I say " yes, i'll get you one in a minute" it can start a melt down. Is this lack of patience common with kids/adults with ASD or is it just Jack? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted December 22, 2012 I'm not exactly sure how to put this but a short answer is 'Yes', impatience is commonly an issue associated with ASD. Jack won't really understand the concept of time and that combined with what's called 'low frustration tolerance' is maybe why you are seeing him get upset, seemingly out of proportion to the situation. if he doesn't understand what you mean by 'one minute' and he has asked and has no idea when he will get his drink, he will become frustrated quite easily. What might be helpful is a countdown, maybe from 5 to 1 initially and then expanding on this. If you are very busy this might be tricky but it will possibly help alleviate the 'not knowing' aspect of waiting. Another way might be to do a kind of timetable. I quite often will say something like, we'll do......, then snack-time. Kids with ASD can learn over time to deal with impatience but it never goes away. You wouldn't like to know how impatient I am... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
watergirl Report post Posted December 23, 2012 I have always been considered to be impatient, and in reality I know I am ...unfortunately. I think this may be connected to the need for predictability that many of us have.....in my mind, when I want something, then it is programmed into the system to happen as soon as possible......so I obsess over it until it happens. I have got better over the years, but it is still hard sometimes. If an idea pops into my head that I want something (often an item to do with sailing as it's my "thing"), then I scour all the ads available until I find it. Now put that into the context of a child.......the child has a need/desire for something, add in the Asperger's obsessive aspect, plus the fact that children don't understand time and the fact that adults cannot always act instantly......and you have a very impatient child I would think. I think it may help if you can manage Jack's expectations.......bearing in mind that many on the spectrum need routine, is it possible to predict some of his demands and ask him, for example, if he would like a drink when you have finished the ironing, or suchlike? I know that I need information on what is happening next all the time if I am not in total control of what is going on, so in a way this is like a timetable/list and comes back to predictability/planning/organisation and a black and white view of the world. It is hard for me to remember what I was like when young, but I know it helps me a lot now if I know when things are going to happen........but now my concept of time is much better of course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted December 23, 2012 Thanks both, its hard to keep on top of his demands when i have 3 other little ones needing my attention too! Jack is the most demanding though by far! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jacklejacob Report post Posted January 10, 2013 i don't know if this helps but i am an adult and i tend to wait until i am desperate for a drink before i can be bothered to go make one so maybe he does the same? also, instead of using the words i will make one in a minute, which i would take literally to be 60 seconds. at the 60 second point i would be expecting you to go make a drink but what you really meant was i will make one abit later when i am ready. so maybe you could give him a more accurate response like - i now know that you are thirsty, i can not make you a drink at this precise moment but i will make a drink for you in approximately 7 minutes time. it is important that you estimation is fair. say give or take a few minutes - it is better to approximate a longer time period than a shorter one Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 10, 2013 Thanx for reply. He doesnt understand time in minutes or hours yet, and not in days either so its hard to explain to him how long i will be. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted January 10, 2013 Have you tried an egg timer? It's a very visual way of showing time passing and can be extended by turning over again. I think you can get bigger ones that are one minute, two minutes, etc., so you can select the one that is appropriate for the time he has to wait. I do think it is a good idea that he does actually have to wait sometimes though because he needs to learn that he has to. Starting with him waiting one minute and extending the time gradually will help him to develop patience. My lad was horrendously impatient when he was little, but is very laid back now. It will be good when your lad can get his own drink without having to ask you. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
