Calling Aspies- what makes you want to come out your room?

[BuntyB]

I know it's not unusual to spend long periods of time in your room, especially in your teens but I think being on the autism spectrum even moreso. I sometimes don't see my daughter for days!

I feel a bit like I have timid creature like a squirrel or a bird upstairs. She doesn't want to come down for meals often saying she's not hungry. But if I leave food outside the door and go away, she does eat it.

My worry is that if she doesn't practice her social interaction with the rest of the family it will get even harder to go out. Have any of you been through this and come out the other side?

[Special_talent123]

I dont know im an autie but i prefer to spend time on my own. I find it hard to socialise verbally and can get frustrated so i like spending time in room on my own its like i get annoyed trying to communicate wjen cant find the words or too low to communicate

[Willow-Tree]

Yeah I've been like this for a period of my life. It was when I was about 15 or 16. I spent pretty much all of my time in my room and my Mum would bring food to me to remind me to eat etc. It didn't last a really long time, and I would venture out every once in a while - but I think it was down to depression/a nervous breakdown. I mostly had the opinion that it was easier to be asleep than to be awake. However, I am nearly 21 now and live with my partner and do regular housewife type things etc. I still don't go out into the actual outside world very often except for the gym and to get groceries - and I don't have any real life friends, but I'm happy XD

 

I got sick of it by myself and decided to force myself into a better life. I think it's just something that has to happen on it's own, along with some gentle reminders from family of course

[BuntyB]

Hi Willow Tree,

I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you meet your partner if you rarely go out? That's one of my concerns for my daughter. Not that she has to meet someone, just she doesn't have the option.

[oxgirl]

I BuntyB, I sympathise. My son is 19 and hasn't any friends and no social life. He would prefer to spend hours alone on the computer if I let him, but I don't like to leave him for too long before insisting he comes off. My husband thinks I should just leave him alone, but I don't think it's healthy for him to be sitting at the computer for 8 hours alone playing moronic games or whatever, so I do limit it. If I were you I would insist that your daughter come down for meals. At the very least, it is common courtesy. I think that sitting on your own can become a habit which is hard to break, which is why I insist my lad comes out for a walk at least or to town, even if I have to bribe him with a visit to the bakers for a sausage roll! I personally wouldn't allow him to eat alone because if that became a habit I would worry it would be a pattern that could not be broken and that he would withdraw from people completely.

 

I know what you mean about meeting people, I wonder how on earth my son will ever make friends, he just doesn't have the opportunity to meet people as he has little experience of the outside world really. He does go to college, but doesn't mix with the other kids as far as I know. It is a worry.

 

~ Mel ~

[Shnoing]

There was a RULE in our house that everyone present had to attend meals (unless really sick), and especially my father stuck to it no matter what. I assume he's somewhere on the Spectrum himself, and had that rule enforced unto him at least when in boarding school.