From mainstream to special

[Brook]

Hi everyone,

 

My son who is nearly seven (ASD), was in a mainstream primary up until March this year. He could not cope with alot of the things that go with school, hoards of kids, smells, sudden noises, not understanding the teachers instructions etc etc..

 

When he first started school, he was really keen and excited, he wanted to get in and have friends and he was very popular at first. After the first few months it started to go down hill, he was not able to do sports day, he did the first school play (very well), then after that could not cope with plays anymore, could not attend assemblies and in general the so called inclusion became self exclusion for him. He was on school action plus and the school accessed the ASD outreach, I also made him visual timetables, social stories, helped out in his reception class one afternoon a week.

 

Well when he moved up into class 1, he started to come home very stressed, he then started to withdraw from all the kids, even to the point of wanting his own table at lunchtime, would not sit next to any of them in the class, and told me he did not want friends I also found out that he was getting laughed at and kicked in the legs, (those were his own words).

 

The school had alot of support, but did not seem to be consistent in giving it to my boy.

One of the little girls in his class innocently told me that everyone bursts out laughing when he is having a scream up because something has gone wrong.

This broke our hearts, as he is the loveliest little kid you could ever meet, he would not know how to retaliate to physical bullying, and would be unsure that he was being bullied.

 

I went into the school on many occassions for meetings, but unfortunately I was sucked in by the great way that they tell you what they are going to do for him, and then not follow it through

 

In the end he was actually pleading with me not to go, he said he did not like the noise, children and kicking legs.

 

I could not stand to see my once willing little boy turn into this complete wreck, so I de-registered him, and have been home edding since.

We have been to visit our local special school (MLD), and were very pleased with it, only thing is he needs a statement, which I am told today my sons case is being heard on Monday, and we are to ring to find out Monday PM wether he has got it

 

Has anyone else taken their child out of mainstream, for a special school? how did it work out?

The one we have in mind only have six kids in a class, which I think would benefit him from the start, also they already have quite a few (ASD)children and did seem quite knowledgable.

 

Well I'm really sorry this has gone on so long, and have probably bored you all silly

 

Thanks

Brook

[LKU]

<'> I'm in a very similar situation to you. I received the proposed statement yesterday and I'm wondering whether to try to get him into a very good local mld special school. I have also been home edding since march.I can't really offer any practical advice, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. <'>

[Suze]

Hi Brook I don,t have much advice I,m afraid just wanted to say good luck with the statement hope you get it ....and you too LKU

[mossgrove]

Brook

 

The eldest 2 of our 4 children are on the Autistic Spectrum, our 7 year old has been diagnosed with Aspergers, and out 5 year old with ASD.

 

Trying to integrate them into mainstream has been a nightmare. We have had tantrums, meltdowns, begging not to be sent, getting undressed when it's time to leave the house, tears and so much else that will probably be familiar to you. For the last term our 5 year old has not been at school at all and out 7year old has been going three days a week. Both had 1:1 support for their time in school.

 

They both start at a special school in September. After the last few years it has come as a huge relief. When it came down to it the mainstream primary school simply didn't understand the needs of children with ASD, and so many times there were problems because they didn't "Get" something.

 

I will keep people updated on how we get on. The only concern I would have from what you have said is the fact that you have chosen a school that specialises in MLD in general as opposed to autism. If your child is bright he may well not have MLD at all and a special school that caters specifically for children with autism may be more appropriate. The special school our children will be going to has two 'schools within a school' one for MLD and a CDU (Communication Difficulties Unit) that specialises in children with Autistic Spectrum disorders, and the approaches use vary between the two halves. Our boys are going to the CDU.

 

Feel free to PM me if you want to know any more.

 

 

Simon

Edited July 27, 2005 by mossgrove

[bid]

Hi Brook

 

You have my real sympathy...I know the damage that can be done by a mainstream school

 

My son came out of mainstream last May, when he was coming up to 15. He was at home until November when he started at a special residential school for AS.

 

He's never looked back All the self-harm has stopped, he's no longer on meds and his self-confidence has improved beyond belief.

 

I just wish I'd taken him out of mainstream school when he was much younger...I spent 10 years trying to be a 'good' parent, working with the schools, believing all the things they said they would do

 

So well done for having the courage and confidence to fight for your son at this early stage

 

I would advise looking at some AS/ASD specific schools or units too, just so that you know what is avaialble. LEAs are very good at letting you think that the only special schools available are local LEA ones, when there are also independent special schools to consider too (my son's school is independent, but paid for by our LEA and SS).

 

Good luck, and don't be put off if you don't get what you want straight away from your LEA...this forum is full of people who have fought their LEAs to get the help their child deserves. There will be someone here who will be able to offer you sound advice based on experience, should you need it!

 

Hope things go well for you <'>

 

Bid

Edited July 27, 2005 by bid

[Brook]

Thanks everyone for your replies

 

We have looked into ASD specific provision, unfortunately the nearest is 25miles away, that would mean a 50mile round trip everyday, and seeing as my son becomes very anxious when he only travels a few miles from home, this would not be feasible.

 

Since I have been home edding my son, I have become so aware just how difficult he finds it to grasp the concept of things being taught, on the surface he can come across as quite bright, but when you delve a little deeper, you realise that he has not really understood what he has been taught.

He has to be shown things in certain ways (very visual), also he has problems with receptive language and the use of expressive language.

 

I am now so aware of how difficult he must have found the teaching methods at mainstream, and probably did not grasp most of it.

I have worked so much with him now, that I just know when he has understood something or not, I have to try many a different approach to whatever it is that we are learning, for him to grasp the initial concept of it.

 

I would love to home ed him permanently, but I also have a younger son who has brittle bone disorder, he too needs alot of attention, and have many hospital appointments etc...

 

The SALT said on the report that he would definitely need differentiation of teaching methods to enable him to access the NC.

The special school that we looked at said that they adjust the teaching to the individual child, also the children are suitably challenged focusing on the individuals abilities.

 

I feel we are now finally getting people to realise that my sons capabilities are very decieving, it had me fooled for a while dont get me wrong I would love to say that he has no problems and is really bright, but the reality is he does have difficulties with learning and needs specialist input.

He is a fluent self taught reader, but he has very little comprehension of what he reads, this also perplexed his last school, a child well above his peers in reading could not follow instructions and hold a conversation, they could not understand it

 

But as I have found from reading alot of your posts, we are certainly not alone, and I am learning more and more about how to get what I think is best for my son.

 

My son also has sensory issues, even sudden loud laughter sends him into a frenzy,

only today he told my sister inlaw "why dont you stop that laughing, and go"

 

Well thanks again for your replies

 

Brook

[loulou]

Hi Brook,

 

My son (Kai) is also nearly 7. He has ASD and ADHD. He's been out of mainstream school for 16 months now, as he could not cope.

 

I empathise with your predicament about finding a suitable special school. The LEA have offered him a place at an EBD school, which would suit a child with ADHD, but is not the right place for a child with ASD.

 

I'm currently in at loggerheads with the school and am meeting them in September to discuss his placement. We are in the final stages of the statementing process.

 

Finding ASD specific schools is not easy in our area. I was told that he would not get a place at an MLD school, as he doesn't have MLD.

 

Reading your post has given me the determination to look into this again. Like your son, Kai appears to be a very bright and able child, but he acheived virtually nothing in reception and year 1. Most of the things he knows are self taught. His vocabulary is of a nine/ten year old, but his emotional/social skills are of a three/four year old. He can only read very basic words and cannot learn by traditional teaching methods. Maybe he would qualify as MLD?

 

Anyway, i wish you good luck with your son. Hope we both find he right schools for our sons

 

Loulou x

[Kazzen161]

One thing to consider - is it a primary only MLD school, or a full-age range one?

 

My friend took her AS son out of mainstream at 7, and he went to a very good MLD junior school that had a lot of expertese in ASD. She fought to keep him out of a not so good all-age MLD school. He has now finished Year 5, and she has just been looking for a secondary school for him. He has done really well at his current school and is now happy to go to school, but they have had to make special arrangements so he can be taught at an appropriate level. He did a day visit to an independent specialist school, and he loved it. He wants to go there now, as he has started to realise he is not the same as the other childrne at the MLD school, and he felt he fitted in well at the specialist school. It does not look as if it will be possible to get him in there for sept, but hopefully next year he will be able to.

 

If he had been in the all-age MLD school, it would have been very hard to get him out (we know from someone else's experience)- as it is a junior school only, the placement has to be reviewed in Year 6. He would have the opportunity to do the full range of GCSE's at the specialist school, instead of only art and maybe maths GCSE's at the MLD school (and he is very bright, especially in geography and science).

 

Karen

[loulou]

Hi Karen,

 

Wow, thanks very much for that information! It's not something i would ever have thought of.

 

Loulou x

[Brook]

The school we are looking at is primary through to secondary.

My friends son attends there and is going into his final year in September, he started there at age 7. He has ADHD. My son also is dx ASD & ADHD, but in all honesty we actually are unsure of the latter

 

They also are keen to teach life skills in the secondary part of the school, and my friends son has just finished his work experience in a canteen, as he wants to be a chef.

I cannot stress enough how much I want my son to benefit from this side of things, I am very keen for him to focus on life skills for his future.

 

I also know that I will continue to help him academicaly at home, and my aim is to find out what he will be doing at school, and to work with him myself as well, he really does need to experience other kids, and also to learn that not everyone in this life is kind, generally just to try and give him as much a varied experience as poss

 

If he gets a place at the school and it does not work out, then I will have to re-think our situation, but I do think it is definitely worth a go, I must remember not to give up at the first hurdle

 

Thanks for listening

 

Brook

[pennyindorset]

Hi my son was in mainstream and found it hard coping there, he too was labeled different by other kids with certain name calling, also bullied, he also had full time one to one and at the gae of 91/2 still could nt read or write,mainstream just wasn t the place for him, he started in an autistic base of a special school just 2 months before his 10th birthday and within 6 months was reading and could write a little bit, he was in the autistic base one year and did so well he was 'promoted' to the special side of the school, he is now top in maths(but always was even though he couldn t read) and doing really well in most of his other subjects and actually wants to go to school(when in mainstream he had to be forced to go), I recommend a special school to anyone, i was put off at first cos of the stigma but its the best thing i agreed to concerning my son .

[Surrey]

I took my son out of mainstream aged 8 as he was dreadfully unhappy, self harming and achieving nothing. He has had two years at a special school and has been so much happier. He is very bright, and I made the mistake of thinking he would be able to achieve at least average results when he changed schools. Now I realise that the pace has to be much slower and the curriculum has to be pared down for the children to fully understand. He has just completed year 6 and achieved levels 3/4 in his SATS. I think this is a great achievement and have nothing but praise for his specialist teachers.