KyleH2997 Report post Posted June 16, 2014 Hello I'm new to this website but I need some advice. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome and I am currently 17. On my 16th birthday I opened a bank account. However at the time I had no use for it and was waiting until I got a job to use it. A few months ago I was offered a job as a part time video game journalist, not a lot of money about 20 a week. I entrusted my bank details to my mother until the time was needed, I gave her no permission to use the account. When I asked her for my details she refused to give me them saying that she could not trust me with money. Even though I have Aspergers I do have good control over money, I'm even taking accounting as an A-Level and achieving good grades. My family have tried to persuade her to give me back my bank details however she is still refusing to. This is where the DLA comes in. A few weeks after she refused to give me my bank details, I learnt that I had been receiving DLA and that it has been going straight into my bank account. Since then I have noticed that for the past year my Mom has been buying designer clothes for herself, going out more often and even spent 2 weeks on holiday with her friends, where as I have been getting an extra 10 pound a week which I need to spend on Dinner money in college. In perspective my Mom is a single mother with 3 children and works as a teacher's assistant, however Me and my family have support from social services as my Dad is a registered alcoholic who lives 5 miles away. She was described as basically a Narcissistic Mother by the social services and we have almost been placed into care 2 times. When I asked her about the DLA she simply said it was her's to control and told me to ''f*** off' repeatedly, and kicked me out for month, so I stayed with my Auntie. Since then my extended family have tried to ask her about it and she simply say's that the money's for the her and my brothers as well. After thinking about it I suspect that she has been using my DLA for her own personal well-being. I do not know whether this is allowed with DLA or not. I know that bank card is in my name as well. How could I proceed in persuading my Mother into giving me my card back, I do not want to call the police as I love her very much. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted June 16, 2014 (edited) Ring up Dla and tell them what she doing it's against law Edited June 16, 2014 by Special_talent123 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BelLocke Report post Posted June 16, 2014 Yes, although I understand you don't want to get your mother into trouble, she appears to be very disturbed judging by the way she is treating you, and she's also using money meant for your own well-being fraudulently for her own gain. You need to contact the Department of Works and Pensions and let them know about this. You should also perhaps get in touch with your bank and inform them that your mother is withholding your bank details from you against your will. This is already causing problems for you since it's preventing you from getting paid for the job you've just been given, and it could cause problems in the future if your mother incurs debts or other penalties under your name. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
positive_about Report post Posted June 16, 2014 (edited) Thats terrible - what she is doing is fraud, and financial abuse - I can understand your reluctance to report her, but she shouldn't be allowed to get away with this. How dare she accuse you of not being responsible with money! Even if you weren't, that doesn't give her the right to spend your money on herself. Are you able to open a new bank account? If so, then you can inform DLA + employer with your new bank details and use this account instead. Edited June 16, 2014 by positive_about Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soraya Report post Posted June 16, 2014 Did your Mum apply for your DLA? Is she your appointee? if she is I don't know if you can change the bank account with the DLA, I am my sons appointee, but when he reached 16, they came tour house, to make sure he was ok for the money to go into my account,and to ask if he still couldn't manage his money, I think this is standard,did it not happen this way for you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted June 17, 2014 Soraya even she appointee she shouldn't be spending on herself Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bed32 Report post Posted June 17, 2014 this is a tricky area, especially as you are 17. Up until the age of 18 you need an "adult" signatory on your bank account so you can't really stop her accessing it. She is also probably correct saying that the DLA is hers to control - but that is not the same as saying she can spend it on what she wants. If she is providing some of the care then she is entitled to some of the money. It is worth talking to your bank to see if they can help - but it may be difficult until you turn 18 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted June 17, 2014 Bed32 - can still have dla in account age 17. When my dad refused to give me the money in my account then I had to get benefits involved as he kept stealing it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bed32 Report post Posted June 17, 2014 I was meaning being in sole control of a bank account at 17 - most banks don't allow that. My concern over involving benefits people is that it may do more harm than good Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted June 17, 2014 Open another bank account in your name in a different bank and get DLA to pay it into your new account. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted June 17, 2014 She couldn't have applied for DLA on your behalf without your signature, like Soraya said, as you are over 16, payments are made directly to the recipient unless they are proved to be incapable. Does she have any disabilities that she would have applied for DLA for herself for? She could have claimed herself and used your bank account to pay the money into, perhaps so that it would not be taxed or she would not have to declare it as income as it was officially in your name or to stop your father getting hold of it or something like that? You need to clarify it with your mother and get a straight answer about it certainly. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted June 17, 2014 I was meaning being in sole control of a bank account at 17 - most banks don't allow that. My concern over involving benefits people is that it may do more harm than good From age of 16 u can be in charge of your own account, and I was. But she is sounding like my dad manipulative spending every benefit on self and not on providing care Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites