get togethers.

[kerrybobs]

Hiya,

 

Im just after a bit of advice and to see if anybody else goes through this.

 

It was Robyn's birthday last week and we got her a trampoline, my family came round to see her on her birthday. She got very upset that everyone was looking at her trampoline and that the other kids wanted a go. She had tantrum upon tantrum. She started yelling for everyone to go home, she then sat under the trampoline and was screaming for everyone to leave her alone and go away. This went on for half an hour then she disappeared in her bedroom. She reappeared about 15 minutes later wanting to play. Then we went through the same a couple of times more .

 

Am I doing the wrong thing in getting together with friends and family knowing she gets so upset. To be honest she would probably pester and get upset if they had not have come. So I cant win. This was supposed to be her special day but she seems not to be able to cope.

 

Kerry

[Guest flutter]

was probably all to much, birthday excitement, excitment with trampoline, then too many peeps, and the final 'insult' may have been having to share her new pressie

i go for low key stuff now, and we had a great time

C x

[oracle]

I decided that as it is 'their' Birthday my two can chose how they wish to spend their day. Now that is pretty easy for my 18 year old as he has a clear idea about what he likes, enjoys and can cope with. Even so because it was his 18th this year there were people who really wanted to share his day that he did not want there It caused quite a few fireworks within the family but I stood his ground for him making me the bad guy ?

 

With Matthew who is 8 he wants people to share in his day because he wants to see what they have bought him. But that in itself can cause a tantrum if he does not like what they have bought He also overloads very easily and so I do my best to have a quiet day and then invite family and friends after the event, which he can cope with better. Again it makes me unpopular because for some reason members of the family appear to feel that our kids can put their autism to one side for special occassions? It really is a no win situation and I usually go for damage limitation - mine that is.

 

Carole

[Tylers-mum]

Unfortunately Carole, we all have 'no win' situations where extended family members are concerned but I'm sure you'll agree, that as long as our kids are ok and happy, then that's what's important!

 

As for the meltdowns when openniing gifts, that is my son to a tee. If he doesn't like what he has openned, he'll loudly say so! Which is embarrassing for me as I have no where to look but at him in discust! Not that that helps any! LOL

 

It's amazing how many people have said to me 'He's just spoilt!' Now if only that were true!!!

Edited August 12, 2005 by Tylers-mum

[forbsay]

Hello

 

I go for quiet get togethers for Matthew's bday with just a few selected people. This year, I spread the birthday guests over a couple of days as this went well. He can't cope with alot of people around him. This year we went to the zoo with my parents and he really enjoyed himself - though he freaked a bit at the start as the zoo was really busy.

 

From now on that is what i am going to do - staggered birthdays!

 

Elaine

x

[oracle]

Hi Tylers Mum,

 

Yes I do agree with you and that is probably why I am not best liked with some family members - but I can live with it

 

One of the things that Matthew finds very difficult is if someone tells him that they are giving him the best gift ever But when he opens it he does not like it I have given up trying to explain that Matthew has very fixed idea's about things that he likes best. Now I just let him rage

 

I hate Christmas to Just call me Scrouge not Carole ( apptly named)

Edited August 12, 2005 by carole