The poo thing again.

[Viper]

Hi.

 

Yesterday I decided I would up the anti on the pooing on the toilet stakes. We have promised Ben a golf club if he poo's on the toilet instead of in a nappy. We are using a sticker chart, he has to sit for a length of time then he gets a sticker.

 

Yesterday I tried not putting a nappy on him after he sat on the loo but taking him back when he asked to see if he would get so desperate that he had to go.

 

It went on all day, he got angrier each time until I had to give in at about 830 last night and put a nappy on him. He went straight out and did his poo. I felt totally beaten. I have tried everything now and he starts school on Monday.

 

When I asked him why he wont use the loo he said

"there is a thing in his bum that won't open when I sit on the toilet, but it will when I have a nappy on"

 

I assume from that that he can't relax enough to go when sitting on the toilet. Even when he knows there is the much coveted golf club waiting for him. I feel like I am being cruel to deprive him of something he wants so much, in the hope that he will do something he really can't do.

 

Oh why are things so hard. I really don't know what to do now. All I do know is I am fed up with changing nappies on a nearly 5 year old.

 

Sorry just wanted to tell someone.

 

Viper.

[Flora]

Viper, I'm sure you've gone down every avenue but when I was reading your post I was thinking back to my youngest (I only just got him out of nappies in time to start school). One of the reasons why he wouldn't poo on the toilet was that he suffered from constipation which made it very painful for him to poo. He would hang on to it for hours and get increasingly panicky as the time grew for when he couldn't hold off any longer. He would then bury his head in my lap and cry and wail while I rubbed his back while he went. It's just a thought and a sharing of experience, but thought it may possibly be a contributing factor with your litte one.

 

Lauren

[elaine1]

my daughter was exactly the same, she would crouch down in shopa sweat and cross her legs so she wouldnt poo, it drove us insane!!!!!

then when she had to go it hurt cos she,d hung on so ong, so it was a vicious circle!!

 

that was when she was about 5 and now shes a toilet pooer like everyone else.

It will come in time im sure, but i know how frustrating it is believe me

[Tensing]

Henry is 5 and 5 months, He is out of nappies during the day and can go days without an accident, but other days can have 4 or more in one day (both wee and poo).

[forbsay]

my little boy is off school today (power cut at school) so i decided to put him into pants. he has been dry all the time apart from when we went to shops and I put a nappy on him - it was wet when we came home. He is now in pants again - have told him that if he uses the toilet to do a pee pee then we will buy him a snooker table!

 

I have got to say, I have been on the cbeebies website and he has actually been playing on it - priceless! If i had been at work I would not have experienced this wit him. Though it could be that he realizes that he can see caravans and snooker tables on the computer as well. It is amazing how their minds work!

[lil_me]

With the can't poo on toilet could be just worry, but we tried 4 training seats before we got one my son was comfortable with, and didn't feel he was going to fall in the loo, it had a step and the seat cover, bit bulky but did the trick eventually. Now he uses the toilet, but he'll only usually use ours, other peoples toilets are a major problem inc school, he doesn't go all day at school. He does have some accidents but not as many as he did, took until he was just over 6 years old tho.

 

I know its very hard but the biggest thing I ever did which made a difference was not giving in, so eventually he had to go, and he got over his fear by realising it isn't so bad after all and isn't impossible.

 

Best of luck, I know how hard the toilet training can be <'>

 

(and you lucky devils my kids have yet another week off )

[sarahjane]

I don't know if its any help but my 6 yr old says he can not poo on the toilet sitting down, he has to stand sort of squatting , he is not constipated and i have never got to the bottom of why but he says he can't open his bottom sitting!

[Viper]

Ben has never been constipated. He poo's almost every day. I have always been worried that if I don't let him have a nappy on when he needs a poo that he will get constipated and then be in pain when he goes.

 

He is just unable to do it on the toilet for some unknown reason.

 

Lil me, Ben is the same with other toilets, only wees on ours and only whilst standing up. Don't know how he will cope at school all day I think I will have to take a nappy with me when I collect him so he can wee

 

Viper.

[Suze]

Hi Viper..this is a bit of a wild suggestion but thought if you take it in tiny steps it might work.(you may have already tried this so ignore me if you have ).Try him wearing a nappy and pooing on the loo.A stool under the feet can help to get more of a squatting position aswell.If you,ve got him pooing on the loo wearing a nappy, would he then try with disposable pants they are less padded than a nappy so it would be a step away from his security and hopefully a move forward.You can just chuck them away after his poo. Moving it forward to a more conventional way of doing it might help you get him pooing on the loo eventually. Maybe the leap to no nappy and pooing on the loo is too much for him.........totally off the wall suggestion just wanted to help....best of luck

[lil_me]

Don't doubt yourself Suze I've seen that method work before. Every kids different. If they were all the same it'd be too easy

[elainem]

Hi Viper,

 

My ds was the same he's nearly 5 and only started pooing on the toilet around April this year. It was a real struggle, like Ben he would only poo in a nappy - he used to wait until he had his bedtime nappy on.

 

We did the sticker thing, chart on the toilet door - he hated it at first - one sticker for sitting, one sticker for sitting and delivering and BIG sticker for just going by himself.

 

I honestly was so sceptical and thought he would never do it. The whole poo thing was taking over my life but then it just happened. I am sure when Ben is in school and sees the others it will make the difference.

 

It's easy to say but try not to get too stressed about it as it will happen.

 

Elaine

[elaine1]

suzes suggestion sounds good to me. hope all goes well for you both !

[hollymg]

I think trying to poo with the nappy AND sitting on the potty is a great suggestion to show him it can be done? Association is a powerful thing and if the nappy is still in the picture it might help the transition? I wouldn't give up with the reward tho. Seems like maybe just one success would be enough to get over the hurdle. So I might take off the pressure totally (don't know how it goes in your house with your involvement in getting him to try) but keep up the reward offer--eg quit talking about it but buy the golf club and put it on a high shelf in the bathroom where it can be seen. Continue the nappies but the club is up there whenever he wants to try and go on his own (assuming he REALLY wants the club?), and as soon as there is evidence in the toilet he gets the reward.

 

This is pretty much how I did it with Andy when he was 3 and totally potty trained except he would still bring me a nappy to poop in...the first reward offer didn't work, but when I figured out he really wanted a spot scrubber vacuum I put it up on the shelf and he was trained by the end of the week and we never saw a nappy again.

[forbsay]

i have told my son that he can get a snooker table once he goes to the toilet without a nappy on. I even see a difference in him in one day as i was off work with him.

 

I think you just have to get into their minds and see what makes them tick!

[mrs q]

T uses to wait till the night time nappy for his poo

 

Though the other day he went for a wee and a poo come out....and now he trys to get on his own.

 

Hope you find a method to help...sure Ben will love his golfclub

[baileyj]

Max, 4 & 10 months, has been in pants for 2 weeks....hooray, but he won't go on the loo at all wees or poos, its in the potty, also not in the bathroom, a potty in the playroom and a potty in our bedroom.

 

We got this far by going cold-turkey with the nappies, he fought for 3 days, had loads of accidents, and then seemed to realise we were not going to give up. It was tough but I'm glad I stuck with it.

 

Perhaps your little one could do it in stages with poos, Max hates the toilet hence we are still at potty stage, could you try the potty in front of the TV? I know its not very sociable or politically correct, but, thats how we started it with Max, popped Nick Jnr on TV so he was distracted, and kept sitting him on the potty, and now he goes to the potty for poos and wees.

 

Good luck, we never thought we'd get this far, its like people say, they suddenly just do it. Max starts school in 2 weeks, and I'm worried he will having pooing accidents, but will just send spare pants and trousers and see what happens, school know the score, and its in his statement that they have to support and deal with it and implement a toilet training program, so we shall see.

 

Jo