lying

[amysmith405]

Hi everyone,

 

I dont know if there is another posting on here similar to my problem.

I have this feeling the school dont believe me, the proff tell me my child got some austisic traites i would say she got all of the traites as they call it.

I tell them what my child is like at home with me but when they go to the school they tell a different story.

How can my child be so different for me ? e.g a report was done by J teacher saying she cant see what is wrong with her. It's like i am lying to everyone or maybe i could be doing things wrong J is 4 years old. When i collect her from school as soon as we go through the school gates she starts screaming, and shouting at me.

She can be like this all evening, she sleeps very little, everything got to be rigid with her.

She hates change of any kind even down to her bedroom if something is moved or added she wont go in there. I have 2 other children who is older than J but J takes all of my attention.

I try everything for J to be happy i wish i understood what is going on in her head.

Sorry if this sound nonsence but i am not good at expressing myself.

I am begining to wonder if J dont want to come home.

If J is rigid at home why not in school ?.

Hope someone can enlighten me on this one.

Thanks

 

amy

[Malika]

Hi amysmith

 

I know what you mean I had a lot of this with my son (he is 8 with DX of ASD) before and even after he was diagnosed only now after nearly 4 years pushing it seems that they believe me a bit more.

This has a lot to do with ignorance then laziness and we have no funding anyway...

It could be as well another pb it is known that some children with AS and ASD can controle themself so much or they do so much to "fit in" during school time that when they come out they just cannot cope any more and explode.

 

I had lot of this last year because H teacher was very stricte and not slightly interested in his well being so H would keep it quiet then I would have terrible tantrum on our way home and on the evening, another reason being him feeling lonely and not able to make friend or pupils teasing him. Then his teacher would just tell me that he was fine nothing to worry about.

 

Precisely this evening H was very grumpy ready for an outburst while he had been quite all right for the last 6 weeks and after some talk I just found out one of his class mate has managed to make every body in the class to call him "fat boy". Frankly I think that before integrating sen children in main stream they should make sure they have educated the whole school beforehand.

 

No I do not think you are talking nonsens try to get your GP to give you a refferal to a "developmental unit" or neurodevelopmental unit " to get a DX. I remember how I felt vendicated when my son was DX as I had told the school for around 2 years before that.

 

Take care.

 

Malika.

[nellie]

Hi Amy,

 

This is a fairly common problem as you will see from this topic. Page one gives professional evidence from Tony Attwood and Rita Jordan. As a parent you know your child best.

 

The passive child/pretending to be 'normal'

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...&st=0#entry1444

 

Nellie xx

[bluejean-genie]

Hi Amy,

My son is 13 yrs old now but all through his primary and junior school we had the different behaviour at school to what he was at home. Nat didn't want to appear different to his peers so was holding all his frustrations and anger in until he left the school playground to come home, when he would be very angry and oppositional.

No one believed us because he behaved so well in school so it wasn't until his 2nd year in Senior school that the staff realised he couldn't cope with the stress of school anymore and he is now statemented and attending an education centre for 2 days a week.

[Malika]

Hi Amy

 

Hope you are all right found some staff racommendation from teachernet about children with AS and ASD.

 

Still very important is to try to get a DX.

 

http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/s...sdgoodpractice/

 

Take care.

 

Malika.

[jomica]

Hello Amy

 

I'm sure there'll be lots of us who relate to your post. At school my eight year old son - who has a diagnosis of ASD - is the best actor in town. People who come in to assess him just can't believe that he needs any help at all - so at annual review time we have to fight like mad to keep his statement going.

 

If I hadn't had a teacher at the school living near me, no-one would have believed the things we get at home - the meltdowns, rages, etc.

 

The minute he gets out of school he falls apart. With us he can be who he is - at school he doesn't want to make himself any different than anyone else. It's his coping strategy. Once it is out of his system we can get back to having the happy, loving little fella that he is when all is well.

 

Stick to your guns Amy and get your daughter the support she needs.

 

Best wishes