FEARS. (Anyone????)

[Tylers-mum]

Tyler and I went to visit a friend on Tuesday night and we were chatting whilst T was upstairs playing on their playstation with my firend's 2 girls.

Chatting away over coffee, I hear T running downstairs screaming 'I wanna go home, I wanna go home' TOTALLY hysterically it alarmed me so I jumped up and went to him. He's shaking and yelling' I wanna go home, take me home'. I asked him what was wrong and he said 'The playstation is warm, it's going to go on fire'. I tried to soothe him but he was too irate and frightened. It really frightened me b/c I had NEVER seen him this upset before! He's always been worried about fires and fire alarms etc. I tried my best to calm him saying the playstation was only warm b/c it's turned on and that the TV and video get warm too, that doesn't mean they are going to catch fire' but he weren't having none of it. You know when they are sooo scared that they don't cry (no tears). It was scary to see, even my friend was shocked by his reactions.

Then her dd appeared at the top of the stairs and yelled down 'It's hot now!'. OMG, I could have *** her but I didn't!! I just looked in total shock and then blurted out 'No it's not, it's cold isn't it Megan!!' whilst nodding my head up and down. Thankfully her mother answered for her and I finally managed to calm him down before leaving.

 

The whole incident totally shocked me.

Edited October 6, 2005 by Tylers-mum

[Tylers-mum]

Anyone?????

[Mother in Need]

Tyler's Mum, I haven't experienced anything like this, so don't quite know what to say. Hope someone will come along soon and help you out here. Irrational fears do often happen with our kids, and once they're 'on fire' (non-intentional pun here) they can't control it.

My son's psychiatrist was comparing my son to a firework with it's wick lit. Once the lit has burned all the way to the firework, it goes 'boom' whatever you try to do, whether you try to put it out (diffuse the situation) or whatever else, it will go off BOOM. The trick is too catch the fire before it gets too close to the firework, and also to try and make the wick longer (improving the ability of the child to cope with the distressing situations).

 

Hope I've been at least of some help here.

[Zemanski]

hey, there

 

this is common in all children but probably worse for AS kids - they get worked up about something and freak themselves out, Dot does it sometimes and has nightmares for ages after. It is real fear.

 

Tyler had probably never noticed before that play stations get hot, and they do get very hot, especially if they're on a carpet where the air can't get round underneath - a hard surface is better - and it fed his anxiety about fires.

 

he will get over it but it may take a long time - if he's really PS obsessed it shouldn't take too long though. Go easy on him, give him explanations and try to be very calm - he will relax more if you are relaxed.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Zemanski

[oracle]

Oh yes I know this one well. David is MOST unhappy now that we have a wirless router,which has to be left on ALL of the time. It also gets hot and he is worried that it may create a fire. It is noe standing on a block of wood. he switches charging mobiles off because they get too hot. He invited the Fire Brigade round to the house so we could all be instructed in fire safety and he does a full check each night before we go to bed This is just ONE of his phobias. So yes I fully understand this one.

 

The only thing I can suggest is that you try and give him as much information as possible about these things. The Fire Officer was brilliant with David and we just have to accept that these worries are real to him and do what we can to stop him from worrying.

 

Carole

[smallworld]

Carole,

Just out of interest, what did the Fire Officer say about leaving chargers etc plugged in overnight ? Anything with a transformer type plug does get really hot.

 

wac

[oracle]

Just out of interest, what did the Fire Officer say about leaving chargers etc plugged in overnight ? Anything with a transformer type plug does get really hot.

 

Basically they said don't leave chargers and things plugged in and on overnight, or leave this house with them charging. Although it does not happen very often they have been known to combuste and cause a fire. My eldest was in a habbit of charging his phone overnight. Not anymore - David will not allow this now. That is why he is not happy with the wireless router because it has to stay on 24/7, and if it is not left on then it's right back to basics to get it to work again. It is not easy and I know this for a fact having turned it off to please David. The next day it took me 45 mins of one to one tuition from our PC guy, who thankfullly knows us and has first hand experience of AS because his son is also AS, before I got us back on line.

 

It was he who suggested the thick block of wood for the router's charger to stand on. David has accepted this but he is not a happy

 

Carole

[smallworld]

Thanks Carole,

I will keep up with my bedtime routine then of switching everything off !

 

wac

[Brook]

I have the bedtime routine of turning everything off my husband often moans at me that I take so long, the only thing that I leave plugged in at night is the fridge/freezer and I hate doing that.

 

I even check that none of the taps are dripping, erhem, starting to get suspicious of myself here. cant believe I just told you lot that

 

Brook

[Tylers-mum]

Thanks for your replies.

 

I guess I'm confused now as to whether this is an ASD related issue or if it's just T being T!!! LOL

Edited October 6, 2005 by Tylers-mum

[littlenemo]

does it really matter if it's AS related or not?

 

we do know that anxiety is a pretty strong feature of having AS for many kids so it must heighten the probability of them developing what might be called an 'obsessive anxiety' over something and reacting in an extreme way to it.

Com's NT friend developed a terror of germs at about the age of 9 - really obsessive about it, drove everyone up the wall. The only real difference was that he held on to it for just a couple of months where an AS kid might find it with them for much much longer because of the obsessive tendencies and inability to deal effectively with anxiety connected with AS.

 

but at the end of the day what is important is helping Tyler deal with his fear.

 

stay strong

 

<'>

 

Zemanski

[nightingales]

Hi all,

Can't be much help, but I do feel for you. C's obsessive fears are currently taking over our lives. He's been on the waiting list to see someone about possible OCD for over a year, but they don't have the staff to see him until after Christmas. Meanwhile, the only advice we've had is 'Don't reassure too much, it can make it worse' [??] and ''Downplay it and stay calm.'

 

OK. We have a child who's currently refusing to wear his coat because it touched his brother, who touched a yew tree (2 years back); to eat at the table because of lead contamination; to eat AT ALL if there's a fly in the room, because of 'germs'; to use his duvet, because it's been on the sofa (can't even remember what's wrong with the sofa!); and to sit in the car, on the chairs, or near the bedroom wall.... I could go on, but you get the picture. If we force him, he screams in absolute terror.

 

And what the *%$� we do about it (in nice calm voices and whilst getting the other two off to school, of course)? This is a thin, cold and frightened child -- just how much 'downplaying it' can he take without actual starvation?

 

Phew, that feels better -- I'm off to read them a story (he's off sick with a cold, wearing pyjamas with cardboard sellotaped over the top, daren't ask why, and playing with little sister's Barbie lego for her).

 

best wishes to T,

L xxx

[lil_me]

My sons got many fears, heat/fire being one of them. It's definately a tricky one trying to reasure them on anything like this. I basically explained when all the electrical things are working they get warm, like he does when he's running around, but they won't set on fire as it needs to be much much warmer. He still has a bit of a panic about some things when they get warm, we find changing the surface they are on does help.

 

My son also has a serious fly issue, when he's home we can't leave a window or door open, I've bought an electronic fly killer as we can't use the spray which he was constantly asking for because of the lizards food, and he'll even wander into the road to chase a fly Someone thought he was trying to mug them last week as they had a fly on their bag so he started swiping at it.