Flora Report post Posted November 29, 2005 .... as santa emptied his sack for the super heroes they were about to start tearing in to their packages in the way that only super heroes do when all the lights went out and they were plunged in to inky darkness.... 'oi' said Lauren 'who flicked the switch?' 'Shshshshshshsh' said legs There was a moment of tense silence (very rare) then all together the super heroes exlaimed 'Eugh... poooh, what's that smell??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted November 29, 2005 CENTRAL SCRUTINISER'S REPORT 21.15PM... ... Boy, it's hard to imaging the gullibility of some people... Dress one of our operatives in a totally naff and obvious snowman suit and we have the whole damn bunch of 'em eating out of our hands... Having ferried them all to arctic regions via jetpack (all except that strange little nude one who flew herself there!), we've now got them sitting on the regional manager's lap telling all of their christmas wishes! Boy they're dumb! I mean, that santa outfit cost us all of �1.99 at poundstretcher and it didn't even fool my three year old last year! Soon we'll know exactly what each of them wants for christmas, and then we'll make DAMN SURE they get it... By January they'll be so wrapped up with their new goodies they'll have forgotten all about us and SEN provision Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!! Now, lets just listen in and find out exactly what they DO want... Judge Thredd's on 'santa's lap at the moment... W "What do you mean, you don't think you can run to a fortnight in Benidorm with Kristana Loken? What sort of a Santa are you? I thought you could do anything... No - ###### Abi Titmuss WON'T do... Lovely girl, I'm sure, but not quite in the same league, is she? What about 'freckles' off of 'Lost', or that gorgeous dark haired nurse off of 'No Angels'? No... Now look, Santa, you're starting to seriously hack me off... Hold on, Whats going on there then? Your beard appears to be......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted November 30, 2005 (edited) ..........real! No self-respecting Santa has a real beard, they're all made of soft, fluffy cotton wool stuff that gets up your nose! ........and this Santa suit is MADE OF POLYESTER!!..........it's washable too. Come off it when does Santy have time to wash his suit, he's too busy making toys for the children, walking his reindeer and doing his Big Brother impersonations to see whose been naughty and nice." "Big Brother" thought JT "this all seems so familiar" "Batchums," he shrieks in a totally un-judgey type voice probably caused by the fact that certain parts of his anatomy were still frozen solid "Don't open those presents................................. Edited November 30, 2005 by DaisyProudfoot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted December 2, 2005 Suze...(who was busy bouncing on santas knee ).......immeadiately turned, just as Judgey walloped Santa on the head with a large snowball.Santa took it right in the face , and did,nt look too happy.Before you could say "duck there,s another one"............snow balls were flying through the air.Cinders had taken on a remarkable Commanding Officer type role and was busy shouting directions to the bat chums.An hour later with a secure trench dug in the snow and a large stock pile of balls the super-heroes take a breather .Santas little helpers had also made an appearance and the little menaces(obviously sencos in their earlier stages) had put up a fierce fight ............................................"we ve got to think of a way to get out of here"gasped a breathless Legs, knackered from all the snow ball chucking." problem is they,ve got us surrounded there,s no way out" replied Suze..............................what can they do????????? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted December 2, 2005 ......"I could fly us all out," puffed Tatters, "but I'm not big and strong like that undercover snow operative so we'd have to make some kind of ice sleigh and tie me to the front somehow. "Ice is lightweight so I'll only be pulling your weights I think," she added looking at her batchums and realising that curry, biccies and lovely jubbly was not really the best diet for superheroes who may one day get stuck in a jam in the middle of the north pole. Judgey looked somewhat excited at the idea of tying up one of the angels for purely technical reasons while Cinders calculated whether such a feat was actually possible when the superhero pulling the ice sleigh was somewhat light of frame due to the fact she had only recently joined the team and hadn't perfected the Bat Paunch yet. As the bombardment continued from Santa's grotto the rest of the batchums continued making snowballs because cunning plans can't materialise in five minutes flat "Oh.............if only this had never happened and we could go back in time........" wailed the Batchums........................... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted December 2, 2005 she had only recently joined the team and hadn't perfected the Bat Paunch yet. "If only there was some way to get back to the Batcave!" thinks Cinders "then I could go back in the closet (it's a time machine, remember ) and we could go back in time to when we first saw the snowman. Then we could light a merry yuletide bonfire under him and watch his chestnuts cook. " Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted December 2, 2005 Cinders had been sat deeply absorbed for some time, when ..................he looked up and whispered those immortal words........................"I have a cunning plan "................................... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted December 4, 2005 (edited) Out of nowhere came Rudy, Cinder's chief techno squirrel with his deputy, Dancer. Rudy and Dancer had a quiet word in Cinder's ear, then ran around in the snow in full view of the dodgy Santa and his cronies, distraction was their plan, and it succeeded "Right, follow me", ordered Cinders, still in Commanding Officer mode . One by one the Batchums leapt out of the trench and followed Cinders, hiding behind the snow covered Christmas trees as they went. Eventually they arrived at their destination.....an oak tree (very rare in Lapland ) which had a door . Cinders opened the door and went inside the tree, the others closely behind followed at last by Rudy and Dancer. Cinders pressed the big red button on the wall marked 'In case of emergency', there was a strange wooshing noise , then finally a loud clunk . Cinders (gingerly ) opened the door. "We're home", he announced to a group of cheering, relieved super-heroes . Opening the door to the time machine/cupboard , the Batchums gasped in amazement , while they were 'um 'otherwise engaged somebody had put the Cimbo decorations up, not any old decorations either , there was enough fairy lights to knock electricity out of the whole of England . A huge Christmas tree, beautifully decorated stood in a corner of the cave, a huge pile of prezzies underneath it . Outside the Batcave door, a thong of carol singers could be heard. "Oh no", said Suze, "grab Judgey, and make it quick, you know how much he hates carol singers ". It was too late, Judgey was just about to open the door .......... Edited December 4, 2005 by annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted December 5, 2005 "Why, hello... Carol singers, and so EARLY into December, what a joy! Tell me, do you do requests? Oh good, then F............" Suze got there just in time - slapping both hands over Judgey's mouth while Legs wrestled him to the ground. " 'Er Fer, er fer... FIGGY PUDDING (phew!) Yes that's the one he like's, figgy pudding" she spluttered. "You know, hahaha, ' we all like figgy pudding, yes we all like figgy pudding, we all like figgy pudding so bring some out here... Give us a couple of verses of that and we'll be glad to put some money in your tin". And so the jolly revellers revelled, while the angels shuffled around in a tizz hunting for their purses whilst simultaneously restraining JT. Two verses later, the revellers stopped revelling, and Legs and co assembled at the door with hands full of coppers (fnar fnar)... "So what are you collecting for?" enquired Mel. "Oh, " explained the lead singer, "We're from the Local Education office benevolent society, we're raising money to help retired LEA officials, Ed Psychs, and head teachers who have fallen on hard times... All these ###### stupid inclusion policies and SEN demands have wrought havoc you know... ... ... ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted December 5, 2005 Cinders scuttles over to the jukebox "I'm sure there's a Napalm Death track on here somewhere..." So to the lyrical strains of 'Thanks For Nothing', the massed ranks of squirrels appear from both directions, the woods and the intelligent grotto, all armed with water guns. It was a magical sight as a hundred fountains of cold, clear water arced through the frosty air, curving thrugh the air to land in a shower of glittering spray on the carol singers. Where it froze instantly. The soft light of the setting sun brought rainbows of sparkles dancing across this new ice sculpture. The Batpack burst into applause, the squirrels bowed and returned to their dreys, and Cinders was heard to ask: "Would anyone like a G&T with that?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted December 6, 2005 The next morning in the Batcave was normal, well as normal as any Batcave morning can be . Legs woke at 7am, untangled herself from the pile of bodies in the cupboard and made her way to the kitchen for her first cuppa of the day . Suze, Lauren, Mel and Tatters, soon followed. The Angels were all sprawled on the comfy sofa watching GMTV when a picture came up on the screen which made them all gasp .....it was the front of the Batcave.........what was it all about?????. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, it was Cheggers , a film crew in tow. Hearing the Angels scream, Judgey and Cinders flew out of the cupboard to see what the problem was. Spotting the film crew, Judgey was relieved that he had worn his bestest PJ's to bed the night before and he wasn't having a bad hair day . "I'm pleased to tell you that you have won our best Crimbo decorated house....'erm cave", announced Cheggers . "You what?", replied Mel. "You're live on TV", said the Cheggered one. Looking past the film crew, JT, Cinders and the Angels saw why. The outside of the Batcave was aglow with decorations and flashing lights. In the middle of the garden was a life-size nativity scene ice sculpture which looked remarkably like last night's carol singers . "You have won �50,000", said Cheggers, handing over a a cheque, which Judgey snatched and put in his PJ pocket for 'safe keeping' . The Batpack screamed and danced with joy . After filming, the Batpack invited Cheggers and the film crew inside for a nice cuppa and some Hob Nobs which went down a treat .............inside a cupboard in the Batcave some very tired little techno squirrels were fast asleep.....they had had a very busy night Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted December 6, 2005 What do reindeer sing to Santa on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted December 6, 2005 Having Cheggers there - in the flesh - had left Tatters all aglow Eventually she plucked up the courage and said: "Cheggers, remember me, I had my photo taken with you when I was a teenager at Pontins holiday camp, you were cuddling me close and I still have it to this day!" (Sadly - this is true and I still do have the pic and a certain crush for this chap - Daisy) Tatters preened her feathers, adjusted her costume boots and smiled cow-eyed at Cheggers while Legs, Suze, Lauren, Mel, Cinders and JT looked at her and decided that you really don't know anything about some people, and did you want to! Cheggers, faced with one of those fans who are convinced he should know them when he must have had his piccie taken with dozens of pathetic teens that day, admirably added that he did remember Tatters - the wings being a dead giveaway................. So...with Tatters having broken the ice with Cheggers the Batpack launched forth with their own questions too................... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted December 7, 2005 Judgey was the first to burst into the questioning............."is it true Lorraine Kelly is a 36 dd, and can I have Penny,s phone number "???...............groans all around .Cheggars and the crew disappeared pretty sharpish after that.................Well �50,000 better off, what to spend the cash on ...........I guess it should be donated to the carers trust, or NAS, or mencap..............., maybe we could keep a little �1000 to one side for a good old crimbo knees up , some new bat gear togs, and pressies all round . The heroes after waving off cheggars trudged back inside and settled down for some brekkie,............suddenly a lush lilac alert came over the bat radio.......Cinders jumped up to decode the message........beep, beep, bee bee bee, beep. ..........."you,ll never guess what "a gobsmacked Cinders said........."were up for an award at the Sunshine newspapers Pride of Britain Awards in London,it seems were nominated in the category most interesting lyra ensemble worn by super-heroes, can you believe this!..................and it gets better Cinders continued "Abi Titmuss and Robbie Williams are presenting the prize "At this point Cinders was overcome with excitement and shock ............Legs and Suze helped him on the setee and administered a few slaps to the cheeks The bat cave at once turned to chaos............screams of excitement , squeals of delight..............it actually gets better..............it seems the super-heroes will be picked up by limo and put up in a posh London hotel for the night , the actual awards ceremony will be attended by a whole host of celebs, ............Jonny Depp was rumoured to have an invite and someone called Evangeline freckles Tilly???????????........................in some show called Lost...........seems to have just split with her boyfriend too .............we leave the heroes in a chaotic frenzy as they sort out what to wear .......................... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted December 7, 2005 The thought of seeing Freckles in the flesh became too much for Judgey, who had to go and have a cold shower . "I hope Robbie sings Angels, just for us ", screamed Legs. An hour later outfits were decided upon. Our heroes had decided on an early night, tomorrow would be a big day. But where was Judgey? A few minutes later the bathroom door slowly opened, out popped Judgey looking slightly flushed, but grinning from ear to ear . "I'm off to bed Batchums, see you in the morning", said Judgey. As Judgey was closing the cupboard door, he could hear the sound of girly giggling coming from the Bat lounge . Roll on tomorrow Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted December 7, 2005 "I hope Robbie sings Angels, just for us ", screamed Legs. Perhaps as it's nearly christmas he could do something a little more festive? Away in a manger, perhaps? Preferably with the door firmly shut. Personally, I prefer the singing Santa - and I HATE the singing Santa... Johnny Depp... Ladies, I am always up for it Bad dog, naughty dog. Back in your basket!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted December 7, 2005 Woof woof to you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted December 8, 2005 Suze is up bright and early it will take many hours of preaning to get this super-hero Angel looking good enough for the red carpet .New hair extensions , a great all over spray on tan in deep hazel nut, a complete de-waxing of her very hairy legs(well it is winter )...........eye lash tint, eyebrow shape,nails manicured and looking great ...........now just got to find that 24hr panty girdle, my support bra, and those tights that stop your bum looking like a sack of potatoes and make it a nice shape Legs....................how ya doin??................finished in the spray tan booth yet? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted December 8, 2005 ............No she is not........ ........so Tatters decides to give the booth a miss and go to the do all pale and wan looking which is really quite the fashionable look for today's celebs anyway. She gets Cinders to add some colourful spray paint to the feathers of her wings and flaps them about drying nicely in the breeze, while getting a bit of paint dotted about the Batcave - but it's quite Chrismassy looking so Cinders decides to leave it be. Then it's a polish of the high heeled boots .... really quite comfortable now ......... and another decision? "Do you think I should wear some clothes Batchums?, " she asks. "I find them very restrictive really, even with the Lycra, do you think the TV cameras would notice if I just went as I am?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted December 8, 2005 Legs stepped out of the booth looking like she'd just come back from a month in the Maldives . "See ya later alligators", said Suze going into the booth for her turn . "But if you don't wear any clothes, Abi's bound to throw a wobbly", Mel was telling Tatters. "You know she likes to be the one with the most skin on show, unless of course Richard and Judy turn up ". "Ok then", said Tatters, "I'll wear my new baby pink number" . In the bedroom, Legs was applying the final coat of nail varnish - raunchy red, well, it might just get Johnny's attention . Judgey walked through the front door, "what do you think girlies?", he said doing a twirl. Judgey had a new image , he'd gone for a spray job himself.......and.......he'd had an Orlando blooming marvelous colour and loose curly perm . He was REALLY pulling out all the stops to pull Freckles . Dragging a dozen shopping bags behind him, Judgey walked off in the direction of the bedroom leaving a waft of aftershave lingering in the Bat lounge . Three hours later, JT, Cinders and the Angels were fully preened and raring to go, not a wobbly bit in sight, well not one that shouldn't wobble Mr Lycra would be proud of them . Tatter's glittered wings were sparkling with every movement she made, a great effect when the spotlights are on you . Looking out of the window, Cinders screamed "The limos here". Overnight bags we're picked up, imitation Gucci , only the best would do for tonight , 4 bottles of champers on ice were ready and waiting for them in the limo....just the thing to relax our heroes for the night ahead Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted December 8, 2005 AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!..................................EXCITED OR WHAT???????????????? ...................Squeals of excitement echo about the cave..........(it does,nt take a lot to get Suze going these days)...........in a flurry of glitter, diamante,lip gloss and Judgeys Brute aftershave they all pile into the taxi .Tony the taxi slides open the little window, "fasten up guys, I,ll haveyou to your destination in 45mins, meanwhile here,s a corkscrew and the pea nuts are in the cubby hole by the fridge full of booze ".....................15mins later and the batcave posse are on their 3rd bottle and singing ,having dragged Lauren back through the sun roof for the second time ........................They arrive at the Hotel ..........the Ritz of course and quickly decamp to their suite on the top floor...............just 3 hrs to go before the red carpet guys .............................after quickly un-packing the outfits, the Angels in typical girl fashion have a crisis of outfit ...........which frock to wear ....................Suze pulls out 2 dresses.............the first black satin, floor length, with deep cleavage enhancing neckline and sequin trim , the second fuschia pink mini dressmade out of hankies and ostrich feathers.........what shall it be taste or tasteless ..........................decisions decisions................... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted December 8, 2005 "Well, I'm wearing my red floor-length s-s-s-slinky number with the safety pins down the sides, you know the one, like that actress (???? ) wore a few years ago". said Legs. "It didn't do her any harm, did it?". "I'll go for the deep-cleaveage enhancing number then", replied Suze, trying to squeeze her in as best she could , much to Cinder's and JT's pleasure. Mel had chosen a flowing aquamarine halter-neck number, thankfully remembering the double-sided sticky tape . Lauren decided on a peach number, with matching accessories. Tatters looked every bit a super-hero in her baby-pink Lycra cat-suit with thigh-high shiny black boots. JT and Cinders were both wearing a tux, and mighty fine they looked too . The Batchums went down to the Ritz bar to wait for their limo to arrive. As JT ordered drinks for everyone, out the corner of his eye, he spotted her, the woman of his dreams it was Freckles . There eyes met . Suze had to pinch JT on the bum as the barman was trying to talk to him, he was home, but the lights weren't on . Freckles gave JT a big smile . He was putty in her hands . Suddenly, JT came too, he asked the barman to buy Freckles a drink. Freckles looked over at JT and winked . Jt suddenly saw what Freckles was drinking ..............a pint of Guinness Their eyes met again , they were both wearing white frothy moustaches. For Cinders and the Angels, it looks like it is going to be a long night . For JT, his prayers had been answered ...........he had finally found his ultimate woman .............who's a bit partial to a Guinness .......what more could a man ask for????? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted December 8, 2005 Sigh................."I wish my dreams would come true and my ideal fantasy walked through the door and into the bar now "........said Suze............"me too ", Legs , Lauren, Mel , Tatters and Cinders answered in unison,..............just then...........Orlando Blooming marvellous, Robster Williams,Daniel Craig(new James Bond...any one seen Layer Cake?)........Johnny Depp, Sean Bean(he,s mine ) and Abi Titmuss strolled into the bar ........................after the bat cave posse had pulled themselves back up from the floor(the shock I think).........the giggling and nudging started.Well Legs looked over and locked eyes with Orly.............he was obviously quite taken with this luscious red .......putty in her hands, he being a younger and less experienced chap.Mean while Suze made a Bean line for old Seany, and began to discuss the ups and downs of chaffing on the inner thigh, that rough leather and armour poor Boromir had to cope with during the Lord of the Rings obviously still causes Sean a problem ..............or maybe it,s the way he was standing , never the less Suze assured him she had the ideal healing ointment that would work a treat . "Limo for the Bat cave Posse"........shouted Tony the taxi as he came into the bar.................."Damn "the super-heroes wailed... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted December 8, 2005 (edited) Cinders, who is an unusually perceptive frame of mind tonight, slips a small pill in the Judge's drink. Annie, whose eyes are as sharp as her shooting, quickly sidles over and asks what it was, and if it's safe. "Oh yes" whispers Cinders, "it's just a kamikaze pill." "WHAT! JT commits social suicide quite well enough on his own - he certainly doesn't need help from you!" "Nonono. It won't hurt him at all, in fact quite the opposite. It's more like a deodorant." "Then why call it kamikaze?" "Oh, sorry. I thought everyone knew. Kamikaze means 'heavenly wind'." Edited December 8, 2005 by littlenemo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted December 8, 2005 I just sprayed the screen with my tea!!! This thread always makes me smile but for someone reason the combination of the last two posts made me splurt out my tea! Thank you chums Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted December 8, 2005 Mission accomplished! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted December 9, 2005 (edited) So.....with a glitter, a flutter, a flatter and a flurry of lycra and sequins the Batchums made a bee-line for the taxi. JT positively glided along in a floral atmosphere......... "He could do with that on repeat prescription," whispers Mel to Annie. Outside the street lights sparkled in the frosty air ................proving a difficult match for the sparkles of the superheroes' outfits ................ and with a slightly less than glamerous scramble for the rearward facing seats the posse were once again supping champagne and munching peanuts ............. : Cinders helpfully removing the ones which had accidently slipped down Suze's more than ample cleavage (although this does tend to happen when chaps are playing 'who can throw the peanut the highest and catch it in their mouth'). And Judgey was seeing just how many safety pins he could undo on Legs' outfit before she knew what he up to......................... Just then the Angels started screaming "We're here, we're here"................................ Edited December 9, 2005 by DaisyProudfoot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kerre Report post Posted December 9, 2005 Then, Exploding Head Boy fell from the sky! "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!?!??!?!" he yelled, as his head exploded (can you tell that I'm confused?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted December 9, 2005 As he gets out his Pocket SupaVac and starts cleaning up the mess, Cinders muses:" Shame about that. Some people just can't stand the excitement, I spose. Does finally explain his name, though " By which time the red carpet is all red again. "You might want to soak that in some bicarb, mate." whispers Cinders to one of the organisers as the Batpack make their grand entrance. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted December 9, 2005 ....................never fear Suze is here with the bi carb........after all Iam the Queen of Good Housekeeping and a fully fledged member of the WI after our mission to Whitehall went haywire ..........Suze gives the carpet a heavy dusting of powder and rubs it in with a sparkly clad shoe..............sadly the celebs misunderstood and all dived to the floor in a vain atttempt to vac the powder up with their nostrils ............tut you can,t take these celebs anywhere.............................The posse saunter down the red carpet, posing, smiling ........but oh no Legs seems to have had a wardrobe malfunction, and thanks to Judgey several safety pins have pinged apart .............guess who,ll be making the front page tomorrow .A quick dash to the ladies, some double sided tape and voila Legs is no longer AKIMBO .They take their seats as the show begins.............the lights dim.............................and Abi Titmuss takes to the stage.......................Cinders lights up ................. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted December 10, 2005 "Chill" muses a suddenly more relaxed Cinders. "Put that out!" hisses Annie. "Oh, sorry, having a literal mind, that 'lights up' meant something completely different. Sorry, Suze, but my intentions vis-a-vis the celebs is purely cerebral." Remember, Cinders' ideal night out with a Supermodel includes cooking a nutritionally-balanced, meat-free, gluten-free meal, in the hopes of making them more attractive in the long run. A night discussing the disproportionate effect of Hollywood movies on popular culture with Johnny Depp, however, is something he'd probably give a vital organ for. Or Orlando Bloom, if he had more clout. Abi Titmuss is as well known to him as Paraguayan pottery designs of the late 15th century. And much the same shape, if memory serves. Cinders was just wondering about their connection to the early Mayan totelmic vases, when his train of thought was derailed by the announcement: "And the winners of the "most interesting lyra ensemble worn by super-heroes" (hands up everyone who'd forgotten that in the palaver)"goes to..." announces Robbie in his hunkiest cheeky-chappie voice as the Angels melt legless to the floor. Abi opens the envelope... Oh, it's so exciting... And she's having trouble putting the letters together... Robbie takes the card from her and reads... "The Angels of the Batpack!" as the auditorium erupts in applause The Angels jump to their feet, blowing kisses all round, and race towards the stage. "First one there gets Robbie!" shouts Annie. JT, looking suitably miffed in his 7inch sequined platform boots and golden shoulder-pads the size of Manhattan, turned to Cinders who had disappeared into the shadows, scared of the limelight... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted December 10, 2005 .......................in a frenzy of diamante and hair extensions, Abi was booted off the stage.........and Robbie was knocked to the floor, luckily he fell ontop of Legs who cushoned his fall, with a huge grin on her face ....................................2hrs later the crew are back in the hotel bar, celebrating a brill result, Judgey seems a little bit miserable though...........wonder how we could bring a little smile to his face .......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hectorshouse Report post Posted December 10, 2005 ... HH arrives too late again .. having missed the party and chasing celebs, darn and blast it ... Robbie I'll get you next time ... having sent off for her special xmassie lycra outfit realised that she had missed typed the instructions to the supplier it must be catching as her new outfit is a customized version of the panto horse fully lycra loaded and extra support .... Darn that name its Hectors House ... not Horsey ... tosses her flowing mane and throws her head back ... and canters off ... kicking the box aside, maybe I could be 'Pegasus' ... still not sure who I'm going to get to go in the back end ... I was hoping to bag Robbie or even old Seany ... then the sad realisation dawns, what looked like cantering now looks extremely bizarre, with saggy lycra trailing behind as the two empty back legs and tail drag miserably behind ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted December 10, 2005 Well blow me down with a feather who should be in the hotel bar but all the celebs that were at the awards ceremony . The Batpack were beside themselves . Helping themselves to the posh buffet, no cheese and pineapple on sticks here were George Clooney and Linda Evangelist-t-ta . Legs and Cinders couldn't control themselves and rushed over to grab a few nibbles . After making a few adjustments to her panto horse outfit, HH managed to get to the hotel bar just after the Robster, was that a coincidence or what? . Suze had managed to get Sean's thigh chaffing problem under control with her special healing formula and was now discussing repeat prescriptions . Judgey sat at a table in a quiet corner of the bar, contemplating calling Tony the taxi , when a shadow fell over him, as he looked up excitement with a capital E took over him.........it was Freckles "Would you like a drink?" asked Freckles. "I L-L-L-", ######, thought Judgey to himself, don't start stammering now "I love Guinness", he said eventually . Judgey had come to his senses just in time . He didn't want to scare Freckles off . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallya Report post Posted December 12, 2005 D just came out of school singing 'Hark the hairy angels sing!' he likes to put a new angle on things. I thought of the Angels in the Batcave straight away for some reason s xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted December 13, 2005 Ah bless! So??..there they all were???comfy and settled in the hotel bar?? enjoying the Christmas spirit and all these wonderful celebs ??? who just happened to have very conveniently walked into their bar ???.. when Tatters began to wonder????.and wonder???.and wonder???.. Outside a host of carol singers seemed to be giving a very odd rendition of Hark the Herald Angels ?? and even Judgey didn?t seem to be bothered as he made small talk and wafted floral air around Freckles??.. She watched them all ?? JT, Cinders, Lauren, Mel, Suze, Legs, Annie ??.. the pantomime horse ??? these were the most prominent members of the Batpack ???. All here ?.. all in one place ?? together again ???. ALL TOGETHER AGAIN ????. Admittedly Tatters was somewhat warm and cosy in a little haze of vintage port ??? but something niggled yet again???.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted December 13, 2005 Suze,s Christmas had definitely come early......and her new year...and her birthday.............Sean was enlightening her on the advantages of a petroleum based ointment on chaffed skin he,d even allowed her to stroke the affected areas to see just how soft they were...............no more dry skin problems there then . In fact later on when Suze accepted the invite to peruse his armour and uniform costumes in his hotel suite, she was amazed that his lovely bod did,nt need a full body petroleum based cream application ,such was the roughness in texture of the leather plated armour he wore as Boromir. When he suggested to Suze that he perhaps try his Captain Sharpe uniform on Suze swooned.........and thought she,d gone to heaven..............the next thing she knew she could hear Legs shouting and banging on all the hotel doors outside in the corridoor"Suze....Suze...Suze..where are you ....we may have a problem with some Carol singers....Suze....Suze....quick.........bring your bat overnighter special agent kit with you................."Suze jumped up alert muscles flexing Tae kwondo stance.......she charged at the suite door and kicked it off it,s hinges................KER....POW!!!!!!..............she ran to Legs.........."Come on Akimbo we have a job to do...........and I don,t want to keep old Seany waiting .............he,s got a lovely bonnet he wants me to try on "...........and off the two Angels went........... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted December 13, 2005 ODE TO FRECKLES Oh! Freckles I would love to be LOST on an island with you A Paradise set in a tropical sea 'Neath a sky of robin's-egg blue I would climb to the top of a coconut palm Just to show you that i had the guts You would look on with such admiration While i gathered two great, hairy nuts On the beach we would share them together -We'd crack them in two with your shoe You'd drink the milk while i ate the flesh (and maybe some coconut too ) In the darkness we'd kindle a fire and bake fish on the end of a stick Then i'd carry you back to our ramshackle shack and bashfully show you my etchings.... What? WHAT?? WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
