It never rains, but it pours...

[fiorelli]

popped into the headteachers office to see what is happening to Louis's review next week, only for her to say "I'm glad you came in, I need to speak to you about Lee".

 

Bit of background...

 

Lee started school last year, he really loved it, looked forward to going to school, happy, bright, full of beans, gain for a laugh, was doing well in school, tried hard, had lots of friends he would talk about.

 

He started year 1 this september.

 

Over the last few weeks, we have noticed that he isn't as happy, is quiet, not interested in playing games/joking. Keeps saying he is feeling sick on the way to school. more often than not on the way too/from school he will kick off, start shouting/throwing his book bag.

 

I just put it down to the fact that now he is in year 1, he has to do a lot more work (i.e. paper and pencil, rather than learning through play like in reception), and that he was finding it a bit hard.

 

Today, the Headteacher said to me that she thinks that another boy is hitting Lee. It was witnessed by a dinner lady yesterday, but this was the first time it has been witnessed. The Headteacher thinks it has been going on for a while, and that because Lee has to put up with and deal with Louis and his violent outbursts, and it has become a way of life (god that sounds bad), that he is just taking this other boy hitting him, and not telling anyone.

 

The Headteacher has said that today, the classroom assistant will spend some time with Lee, reading him a social story, and try and get him to open up about what is going on, as she said that they cannot do anything until Lee tells them what is happening, although they have their suspicions.

 

I feel so bad that my little boy is being bullied, and that the signs are all there, and I haven't picked up on them

[Strange girl]

You mustn't blame yourself for missing the signs- it is hard when they don't open up about what is troubling them. Children who are bullied often keep it to themselves. Despite our best efforts we can't be mind readers. If only we could wire them with hidden cameras when we send them off to school!? I wish I could offer advice to help, bullying is a big problem for many children. I myself am wondering if I am missing bullying signs right now in my own son. (beyond what I do know) At least someone has witnessed it now and hopefully they will be keeping a close eye on the situation. I don't see why they can't do anything if they see it with their own eyes though? Good luck & I hope everything works out. <'>

[mum22boys]

What a horrible day. I am so sorry. Unfortunately we all get used to dealing with the rages and your poor son knew no different. I hope he is ok. I will be thinking about him now. Lets hope he lets his teacher know if he is being hit.

Keep us informed.

[nellie]

I am so sorry. I hope the school keep a VERY close eye on him and hopefully help him with his difficulty in commicating his problems to others.

 

This bullying site is very good, it's worth a look.

http://www.bullying.co.uk/

 

Keep us posted

 

Nellie <'>

[barefoot wend]

Fiorelli

 

Don't blame yourself - it is so easy to miss.

 

The positive thing is that school have noticed and are DOING something. I think that's really good. I'm sure they'll be vigilant.

 

Hopefully, your son will be able to open up and talk about this.

 

Best wishes.

[nightingales]

Fiorelli,

 

Your post really hit a nerve. I've just found out today that my middle (NT) son has been systematically bullied all term, ever since moving into a mixed-age classroom, and I'd missed the signs completely. I only found out today because one of his older brother's friends came to find me at home time to say that he was hiding in the cloakroom crying. Two other children then told me (quite casually) who had probably caused it, and his older (AS) brother said 'everyone knew' that these particular kids always picked on A. Luckily the head was still there and we took it straight to her. A has been sent to her several times this term as punishment for being 'easily distracted' in class, and she was fairly horrified that the reason hadn't come out before.

 

Surely, if your son is constantly being picked on, the others in his form will know about it, even if, like ours, they haven't thought to mention it? Even if he doesn't want to complain -- and he may be too scared to, rather than too used to it -- perhaps they could get at the facts that way. Maybe the head could try asking WHO hits him rather than WHETHER they do (worked on mine).

 

I'm off to give my red-eyed boy an extra hug. Best wishes to yours,

L

[fiorelli]

Thank you all.

 

Lee (NT - thankfully sometimes!) came home from school really talkative, so I thought it would be a good chance to ask him if anyone is picking on him/pushing him/hitting him in school. He said no.

 

I think I will take your advice Nightingales, and ask him straight out Who hits him. I might get somewhere then.

 

Nellie, I will look at that site you posted.

 

Fiorelli xx