Hi all

[virtualvisual]

I've finally got the nerve up to register and post so be gentle with me

 

 

I have a 12 year old son A who was diagnosed with Aspergers about 5 years ago, I've also been told he has ADD but the waiting list for assessment was so long it's just been noted on his school files as probable for now. I also have 11 year old twins, R who is my only daughter and NT and J who is my biggest worry right now. (I also have a stepson Ry who stays with us once a fortnight and most school holidays, he's 6)

 

J was referred for psychotherapy when my first husband died 4 years ago as having a temper problem. He was actually on the waiting list for ASD assessment since he was 5ish but we moved area and he ended up being referred to psychiatry instead. It took two years of weekly visits to a psychotherapist before I managed to convince them that it wasn't helping at all. The psychiatrist seems to have latched onto the fact their father died and he was schizophrenic and isn't even considering the fact the J has always had problems, she has said that I must be latching onto the fact that A has Aspergers and therefore I think J must have it too. So any chance of me listing his problems and getting an honest opinion please?

 

 

J has a short attention span, he is very eager to please and gets frustrated when he can't do something. He is an excellent mimic and matchs the accent he uses to the person he's talking to (he convinced the psychotherapist that he has a scouse accent for over 6 months). At school he is struggling badly but can't/ won't say he doesn't understand. They come home from school in a taxi and J will thump and swear at the others in the taxi if he's had a bad day. School very rarely have to tell him off but it's like a bomb going off in his head as soon as he leaves the building.

He can't follow simple instructions like go upstairs and get your school uniform for washing. He will wander off upstairs and stay there or come down and just sit down again. School homework get either forgotten in the bottom of the bag or it is hidden, he is often depressed and has been known to threaten to kill himself and say he should never have been born. This is the first time he has been in a different class from his twin and he's struggling with getting in class on time without her to drag him in.

Sorry there s a lot more but I'm sat here in tears now

[phasmid]

Welcome to the forum.

 

<'> <'> Oh what a history. <'> <'>

 

I have twins boys as well (slightly older). They had been in seperate classes for many years but were put back together last year at their request. Twins can be hard when they are 'normal'. Throw AS into the mix and I am sure it makes it much harder for him, and you too. Are they identical?

 

Take your time. When your ready to chat more we'll be here.

[phasmid]

This was one of those time I hit 'Add reply' and didn't read my response properly. Sorry. I can see they're not identical.

[smiley]

Hiya Virtualvisual and welcome.

 

What a hard time your having hunni. <'>

 

The support and advice on this site is amazing.

 

<'> <'>

[Suze]

Hi Vv, welcome to the forum <'> , it sounds like you need a more understanding physch.It is very common for siblings to have similar problems, ie ADD, ADHD, AS, ASD, dyspraxia and dyslexia etc. You have a right to be concerned, the people here are so helpful .......they,ve helped me with a few tricky problems . Take care Suzex

[nellie]

A warm welcome to the forum <'>

 

I'm glad you found the nerve to join us. We are VERY gentle, honest.

 

Nellie xx

[phasmid]

Hi VV, just to say we're still ready to listen and offer help when your ready. In the meantime take care.

[board]

I've finally got the nerve up to register and post so be gentle with me

 

 

I have a 12 year old son A who was diagnosed with Aspergers about 5 years ago, I've also been told he has ADD but the waiting list for assessment was so long it's just been noted on his school files as probable for now. I also have 11 year old twins, R who is my only daughter and NT and J who is my biggest worry right now. (I also have a stepson Ry who stays with us once a fortnight and most school holidays, he's 6)

 

J was referred for psychotherapy when my first husband died 4 years ago as having a temper problem. He was actually on the waiting list for ASD assessment since he was 5ish but we moved area and he ended up being referred to psychiatry instead. It took two years of weekly visits to a psychotherapist before I managed to convince them that it wasn't helping at all. The psychiatrist seems to have latched onto the fact their father died and he was schizophrenic and isn't even considering the fact the J has always had problems, she has said that I must be latching onto the fact that A has Aspergers and therefore I think J must have it too. So any chance of me listing his problems and getting an honest opinion please?

 

 

J has a short attention span, he is very eager to please and gets frustrated when he can't do something. He is an excellent mimic and matchs the accent he uses to the person he's talking to (he convinced the psychotherapist that he has a scouse accent for over 6 months). At school he is struggling badly but can't/ won't say he doesn't understand. They come home from school in a taxi and J will thump and swear at the others in the taxi if he's had a bad day. School very rarely have to tell him off but it's like a bomb going off in his head as soon as he leaves the building.

He can't follow simple instructions like go upstairs and get your school uniform for washing. He will wander off upstairs and stay there or come down and just sit down again. School homework get either forgotten in the bottom of the bag or it is hidden, he is often depressed and has been known to threaten to kill himself and say he should never have been born. This is the first time he has been in a different class from his twin and he's struggling with getting in class on time without her to drag him in.

Sorry there s a lot more but I'm sat here in tears now

hello iam so sorry you are haveing a bad time but dont worry there are very nice people on here who will be able to help you talking to people in the same boat will help you becouse they know what you are going throunght all the best jill

[CarerQuie]

Hello and welcome to the group.Parents usually are spot on in sussing out what is up with their children because they are with them 24/7 and not just for a snapshot moment of time.

 

If you feel that an ASD assessment is in order,ask.If you get nowhere,you have the right to ask for a second opinion.xx

[UltraMum]

Hi welcome and some hugs ...

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Hope you soon get someone to listen to your concerns rather than writing them off...

[Hectorshouse]

Hi Vv and welcome aboard, we are very gentle here and it is really supportive. Reading your post was like reading about us, I lost my husband 8 years ago, and had the same problems with professionals that you have had relating to the grief and possible scizophrenia (sp) ... 3 years ago we got DX and things have got easier, and being amongst other people experiencing the same problems really does help.

 

If you need any help, advice or just wanna moan, feel free, I look forward to reading your posts.

 

HHxx

Edited October 16, 2005 by Hectorshouse

[mikesmum]

Hi there - The description you gave could be a description of my own son - he's 11, almost 12. Officially ASD (high functioning) but we believe Aspergers. If he has the same father as your other Aspergers child, then the genes would surely indicate serious consideration of the possibility?! If a psychiatrist deals in mental illness and Aspergers isn't a mental illness which can be 'cured' by drugs then...You need a paediatrician who specialises in this area, not a psychiatrist.

 

Hope you manage to get onto the right lists. Good luck!!

[virtualvisual]

Thanks for the warm welcome and sorry it has taken me a while to reply but it's half term here and chaos as usual.

The problem I've had with the psychatrist is they have a child and family mental health unit, she is currently running it as theres a shortage of consultant psycologists and as long as he is on her list of patients the other doctors won't even look at his case. I've been trying to get him assessed by the ed psyc for over 4 years but we've moved areas in that time and ended up in a county that changed ed psyc every couple of months so noone ever got around to him. Finally as he has started at the seniors (which is in another councils area) their ed psych is going to do a psychometric assessment (whatever that means) but I'm hoping if shes is actually spending time with J then she might get an idea of what he's like. The psychatrist hasn't even met him even though shes the one who has been calling the shots for years.

 

A definately has AS but he and J are like chalk and cheese most of the time. Our house has a fairly strict timetable and house rules for all the kids as it makes life easier for all of us but J is the one who copes the worse with things not going the way he expects them to. The main noticeable differemce is that J is desparate to make friends and gets very upset when people brush him off at school, I've forgotten how many times he has done something and got himself in trouble because a boy has said they'll be his mate if he does it.

 

Sorry for the long posts I'm finding it quite hard at the moment as my DH works away during the week so it's just me trying to hold it all together.