It's just dawned on me!!!

[Viper]

Hi all.

 

I've been thinking about my mums cousin. When we were kids we called him our cousin. He was always different and the story goes, when he was 7 he came home from school and found his dad had hung himself from the bannisters. From then on he wasn't "normal" He lived with my grandad and my mums aunt (his mum) on and off but spent most off his time in an institution. When care in the comunity was introduced he lived with My grandad and his mum permanantly, I'm not sure how long.

 

I remember Kevin as a man who spent a lot of time flapping and pacing, looking very frustrated. He never spoke to us and to be honest I was a bit scared of him.

 

i now realise he had Aspergers syndrome and wasn't a "mental patient" at all. My grandad died some years back closely followed by his sister, Kevin was taken to the institution permanantly and I don't know what happened to him. He is the same age as my mum, 66 so he is probably still alive.

 

I think it is so sad that he was never dx'ed and probably not to this day. What a sad reflexion on our past, and not even that long ago.

 

I will do some digging to see if I can find out what has become of him.

 

Sorry to post such sadness I was just feeling a bit upset for him.

 

Viper.

[phasmid]

<'> <'> <'> I think you need a few of these <'> <'> <'>

[Guest flutter]

oh hun

twas a very different world then

(((hugs))

thinkin of you

Cxx

[jayjay]

To you and yours <'> <'> <'> <'>

jayne xx

[ceecee]

What a sad story Viper.Things were different then though.Aspergers wasn't even known about then.Poor man.Storys like this are so sad.

[mum22boys]

It's so sad when you look back and see something others couldn't. Thank god we have a much better understanding now so that our children can get diagnosed and receive help to intergrate them into society.

 

Take Care <'>

[hev]

my mum feels very guilty because looking back my brother had aspergers,he used to rock in chair,had obsessions,a lot of things my steven has,he ended up in prison and now has completely cut himself off from us all,screams at mum if he sees her in the street,she gets so upset but aspergers wasent heard of at all then,shes a lovely mum but theres just no way of getting my brother to talk to us as at the moment he has sent off for his birth certificate to prove hes adopted,its very sad as he truly believes he is,my mums heartbroken

[ceecee]

Hev

 

It's not your mums fault.She didn't know.She mustn't feel guilty.i feel for you and your mum.Hopefully in years to come we will hear no more of these stories.Hopefully the world will one day soon be more educated about aspergers.Your brother shouldn't have gone to prison.He needs help and support.

You and your family have my sympathy.I really feel for you.Best Wishes.

[Viper]

I rang my aunt (kevins real cousin) and she told me that he is living in Margate in a house for disabled people, the sort where they look after themselves with help.

He's doing fine and his brother and sister visit regularly. So mybe we have moved on more than I thought. At least he has some independence.

 

I told my aunt what I think his problem is and she said she thinks it's much worse than that as he used to say things like "my dad is God, have you ever met him?" She also said he was fine until his dad died, I think that he may not have had such obvious AS before then but a trauma could easilly have affected him very badly.

 

I think with the story that he found his dad hanging and maybe someone told him his dad was with god it isn't hard to see where this might have come from.

 

Viper.

[ceecee]

Glad you find out what became of him and he has some support.

[madme]

im glad that he is doing well. My ownuncle died at the age of 39 if i recall. I was at uni. My grandad had died a long time before and my gran was in hospital. He had lived with my gran all his life. My dad sadly had cut all ties with his brother and they hadnt spoken for years. Looking back he clearly was AS. He died because he had pneumonia and didnt go for treatment. I feel sad as Im sure that my dad still regrets not having checked on him when my gran was in hospital. He was always considered "wierd" by the family/ Had difficulty with relationships, couldnt hold down a job. Never did eye contact. My mum agrees/. My dad cant seem to bring himself to consider it.

[hev]

yeah its sad as my brother was always considered weird by the family,thats terrible isent it,if only my brother could have got help,he was sent to borstel for his behaviour then,he wont talk to me at all so nothing can be done

[ceecee]

It's such a shame that there is not more awareness of aspergers.Rather than all this 'that persons wierd'My husband had a friend who we just considered 'wierd'.It's only now years later with more knowledge and awareness that I realise he in all probability had aspergers.I feel ashamed i didn't do more to help him but then would he have wanted help?Sometimes I guess it's best to just keep quiet.I'm not sure.

[smiley]

Viper <'> What a sad story. But i'm pleased he's doing o.k now.

 

It reminds me of Wendy Lawsons story. She has Aspergers but for years was diagnosed with schiophrenia......when she was asked "Do you hear voices", her literal reply was "yes". Even when asked, "Do you hear voices inside your head when you can't see anyone?", her answer would still be "Yes" as the person she could hear may be in a different room and out of eyesight.

 

At least our awareness has moved on from then <'>