bedtime

[missjaney]

can some1 pleaaaaase help me with the 'bedtime' problem?? every night is a battle of wills to get tom to sleep.....however since being back at school and the whole christmas stuff starting he is getting progressively worse. tom has a huge reptetoire of excuses for shouting down stairs to me or coming downstairs to delay goin to sleep. last night i finally decided enough was enough and that i was going to ignore all efforts by him. well, i ended up in tears, tom nearly ended up vomiting n loosing his voice, i had to phone my neighbours to explain wat the heck all the racket was and dear hubby (who is also AS) just sat here n laffed at all of toms attempts to talk to me.

my problem really is knowing whether to continue with the ignoring ALL attempts or should I somehow intervene when he starts self harming (banging head on wall, squishing fingers between doors etc)?

any advice on how to proceed with joyous task would be really fantastic as the thought of another 2 or 3 hours of this for the next couple of weeks is really very depressing!! best wishes, Janey

[Guest flutter]

a written plan

time line thing?

maybe with his input?

we have done this, and life is better ,

i let stuff go at weekend tho and have found that life is not so bad,

but dont do what i do and say" get to sleep!" "why?" "cos it ten oclock!" "and that means?"

good luck and take care

C xx

[Tally]

Can you sit in the room with him while he falls asleep? You could gradually move a little further away each night.

[baddad]

Hi janey -

Here's a link to an earlier thread on this subject...

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...t=0entry13571

 

There are loads of similar threads, so if you don't find anything helpful in this one try typing sleep into the search engine (spyglass icon top r/h side).

Hope you find some answers (and some rest!) soon

L&P

BD

[Cariad]

I try the "Blackmail" trick . Now it's Dec 1st he has a advent calander, so if he plays up i say he can't open it in the morning. It not always foolproof he does still stay awake for 3 hours at a time (he has ADHD) , but it makes me feel like i have some athority

[Suze]

ASD kids can get very stressed at night, my son will think about all the negative things that have happened to him, and in the world in general.I know it,s not ideal but I lie down with him, we talk and I stay till he fallls asleep.I don,t do this every night , but some nights are worse than others.Good luck Suzex.

[mossgrove]

We tried various strategies, but the one that has worked is a clear bedtime routine plus 4mg of melatonin. (See other threads)

 

One thing to think about is how early you are utting him to bed. Some kids with AS do not appear to need all that much sleep, so fighting to get him into bed at 8.00 (for example) may never work.

 

 

Simon

[lisann]

Hi

Yes I can say the melatonin def works to getting Char off to sleep however it doesn't keep him asleep.We tried everything but had to give in to med' well worth it just to get him to sleep.Your Ped' should be able to help you.

 

Lisa x

 

Fingers crossed for you getting him to sleep.

[kirstie]

Hi there Janey,

Yes i agree with what Simon said about kids with an ASD just don't seem to need as much sleep, quite simply they just can't ! I think my sons mind is racing all of the time so at night he can't switch off. We are now using melatonin too and what a difference it has made to him and us, he drops off around half an hour after he's had it. I never thought there would be a time where he'd go to sleep at a reasonable time and stay asleep!

Also, have you tried a visual timetable where he can see it's bathtime, brush teeth, story, bed for example? They can help.

I know the vomiting thing, Lewis used to scream so much untill he would either throw up or have a nosebleed!!!

Good luck!

Take care,

Kirstie

[baileyj]

With Max (5) I don't try and put him to bed until 9pm, which is too late, but if I try any earlier he just won't go and just leads to major stress for everyone.

 

I stick to a strict routine, and he goes to bed with a torch, a book and his gameboy. I always say the exact same words, "nigh night, love you, see ya mornin", then close the door with the lights out. He then plays his gameboy till he conks out, its not ideal, but it helps him wind down, and he's generally asleep by 9:30 or 10.

 

Probably not what I should do, but it does work, so I stick with it.

 

Hope you manage to find a way through, it must be so very hard for you, I know I used to dread bed-times, you dread it all evening beforehand, then the rest of the evening your shattered and stressed from it.

 

Take care

 

Jo

[DaisyProudfoot]

We do pretty much what Bailey does.

 

Officially bedtime is 9pm (he's 9 yrs old) - at 9pm he gets a bedtime snack which can last an amazing half an hour! Then he goes upstairs and gets his PJs on which can take another half an hour, then he potters around upstairs for ages and ages before coming downstairs again, sometimes as late as 10.30pm with the premise that he wants to know what's on TV now or what he's doing tomorrow or whatever or to tell us an exciting tale about his latest computer game and then eventually we say "OK, bed now."

 

And he goes..................

 

We just don't push it anymore, yet he's never tired so he gets the sleep he needs

[mum22boys]

Hi,

 

Know how you feel.

 

M goes to bed at about 7.30 (more for my sake than his I suppose!!!!) BUT he is still awake come 10pm. He does the same - constantly comes down stairs and that is usually after a BIG battle just to get him in his room. Christmas is coming and like all AS kids he is thrown into uncertainty over his usual routine at school.

 

I have however found a way this week of getting him to at least stay in his bed. Christmas lights and photos. Strange combination I know but he will happily stay in bed if he has photos to look at. The christmas lights are also a big help in getting him to wind down (found the same last year). he likes to sit and watch them. I don't think I will be taking them down in Jan, they can stay all year if it helps him.

[elun1]

Hi ds2 is 4 and is severely autistic. Bedtime has always been a huge issue for us. He settles well (sometimes!) but wakes in the night. Once awake - often about 2am - he stays awake for the rest of the night and yells vv loudly if ignored. Can't ignore him anyway as he wakes his brother and I can't leave him alone as he will try and climb anything and everything and has delayed motor skills and is liable to fall etc. Just when I am about to lose it completely (usually after about 3 weeks of this pattern) he will sleep through the night for about 10 hrs without a problem in the world. I'm still trying to sort this problem but have been reading a good book and thought it might be of help - it's called 'Sleep Better - A Guide to improving sleep for Children With Speacial Needs' Author is V. Mark Durand.

Take care - hope things improve for you soon

Elunx

[loulou]

Hi,

 

Like mum22boys, my son likes christmas lights in his room too. I think they are very calming.

 

I give him melatonin and he listens to story tapes. He won't go to sleep without his tape on. I have to be careful what he listens to, because some stories (like the Twits) get him all hyped up and silly! I got a load of second hand ones on e-bay.

 

It may be worth trying.

 

Loulou x

[lynyona]

Kieran hasnt really ever been a good sleeper he still isnt now at 19.I once asked him why he didnt get in bed and go to sleep and he said sleep is boring and a waste of his time. What can you say to that. lynn