Lost it with my DS this morning

[Flora]

I know I shouldn't have said this but I am only human.

 

I spent over one hour trying to get DS out of bed. He eventually got up at 8.40am then threw a wobbler when I asked him to eat his breakfast quickly as we were already late.

 

He was really nasty. Telling me I was being horrible to him and that I didn't love him. Then he was nasty to his brother who was just patiently waiting in the background. Totally uncaring that his brother (who is also on the spectrum) has a phobia about being late for school.

 

What I said to him was something along the lines of ..... 'How is it that you are comfortable with being miserable and bad tempered at home and making all of us unhappy because you don't like school, yet when I talk to them at school they tell me you're as happy as a sand boy? Why can't you swop it round and be nice at home and awful at school?'

 

 

I know I've got a point, but I don't think I should have said it to him or in quite that way! Anyway, by the time we got to school he was well on the way to having a total melt down type wobbler, I had to half carry, half pull him in to school. I then steered him in to the class room and left quicly, (a bit like throwing a hand grenade and running away!!!).

 

I feel bad, but really enough is enough. He isn't sleeping well which means neither I am, so I can only assume that neither of us are firing on all cylinders. I think I need to turn this behaviour around though. Show him that he can't upset his family like this day in and day out. If he has a problem with school, then he should show them he has. I love him so much and don't want to fight with him, but he's really starting to walk all over us. You all know how hard I'm fighting to get him statemented, and I'm so fed up with listening to how well behaved, quiet etc he is at school and how 'frankly we don't see what the problem is'. when meanwhile my home is taking on the appearance and atmosphere of a war zone.

 

Bit of a rant!!! Sorry

 

Lauren

[Elefan]

<'> Oh Lauren. I totally understand, both what you said, why you said it, and how life is at home.

 

My little girl is the same. We get the worst of her,..and I suppose the best of her too, but it is so frustrating when school just doesn't 'see'.

 

How about a diary of home life, and showing that it is a reaction to things that have happened throughout the day, that cause him to 'off load' in his comfort zone?

 

Don't be angry at yourself,..you are human. Just have a hug ready for him at the school gates this afternoon if he will take it.

 

Elefan

xx

[Tylers-mum]

Hey, we all have our limits and snap from time to time. I know I do and I yell and say things i shouldn't do to Tyler. I do apologise though.

Had top laugh when I read 'You've hurt my feelings, I don't love you no more'. Tyler says this word for word, should've seen the incidence last night which resulted in him saying it. (Had to go to bed and wouldn't, after many many requests to go, he refused and I lost it and yelled at him).

 

Hang in there sweety. I totally understand and Yes, we are only human.

<'> <'> <'>

 

As for the Jeckel & Hide, I'm experiencing this in all it's glory at the moment too. I'm here for you so feel free to vent away.

[lisann]

Hi lauren firstly have loads of these <'> <'> <'> and a few of these x x x

 

I can quite understand where you are coming from Char is the exact same. He is this wonderful child at school and a little at home.He fights with his sister and is horrible to me and my hubby.He can't wait a blo**y min for anything and if I say no it just errupts!!!He very much bottles the ASD up so I am told becuase he feel uncomfortable being that way at school.Therefore I get it all at home it starts the min he leaves the school door AGRRRR!!!

 

We are suppose to be greatful that they can be Autistic at home because it mean they feel safe being themselves.I at first thought ye right but then the more he was himself and I could see at school he was the little boy lost it made me feel better.He deffently isn't his real self at school there are still the traits visable but he becomes very quite and stands on the side line so to speak.At home it is hell but I have learnt to accept this is Char and doing and being who he is makes him Char.

 

I hope this sort of makes sence and yes there are many many times I could quite cheerfuly throtal him and by no means should they be allowed to rule the house but unfortuantly they always seam to!!

 

Lisa x

[Suze]

Lauren ........I,ve been there and done the shouting and yelling back, <'> <'> , but your right he can,t walk over you and the family.Its so hard because I,m sure the correct support at school will have a positive impact at home. Hang on hun , hopefully that statement will happen soon <'>

[mum22boys]

Hi Lauren,

 

Your morning sounded incredibly like mine.

 

M got up in a bad mood because I called him too many times (I just need to learn how many times is too many ) He then refused breakfast, fought with me getting him dressed then said he wasn't going to school today. The whole time this is going on my youngest is sat in his buggy waiting to go out all wrapped up in his coat. He sat there half an hour in the end whilst i shouted at M to get ready.

 

By the time he was ready he was already late. The problem - a change in the school routine today!!!! I took him to school told them the problem then let them deal with it. I know how you feel. m is generally ok at school but me well i get the full extent of his anger at the end of the day.

 

Don't feel too hard on yourself you are only human like everyone else. We all have these bad days. I know I do.

 

Take care <'> <'> <'>

[DaisyProudfoot]

Hi Lauren

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

He does love you, and no the school never see it, because that's not where his loved one's (the one's who accept his problems) are.

 

There with you on a regular basis

 

keep strong,

Daisy