darky Report post Posted January 23, 2006 this post is for all the people who cope with a child with suspected aspergers, who because they strive to fit in at school find it difficult to get their concerns listened too!! my daughter diagnosed with pdd-nos was quite easy to diagnose. she is hyperactive, inpulsive, destructive and caught the attention of the proffessionals because they had no choice. my son on the other hand has always been passive at school and his diagnosis has always been harder to get. 18 months ago, since having my daughter diagnosed and treated for various things, the problems with my lad became more apparent to us. we first approached the school but they turned us away, telling us our son showed no difficulties at all. something to us still wasnt right, our son was showing increasing anxiety which was often shown in the form of meltdowns when he left school. it become clear our son had problems but we didnt know what. we visited the gp, and the gp was very good and reffered him to the consultant paeditricion who suspected aspergers syndrome. he was a little confused as to why the school were saying one thing and we were saying something else.he did some small tests on our son which then showed some problems, so he arranged a full asperger assessment which included speech and language therapist, occupational therapist and educational pyscologist. the assessments have been taking place and the results have astonished us even. occupational therapist noticed our son had lots of perception pproblems, auditory, visual, etc. the physio assessed our sons motor skills which were barely on the first percentile, meaning 99/100 children would have better co-ordination than him. the speech and language therapist assessed that he has many of the charactoristics of asperger syndrome, poor listener awareness, lack of reciprocity, unable to see ineferences, literal thinking etc. then a couple of weeks ago he under went a full cognitive assessment from the educational physcologist. we just got the report back today and we are amazed at what she has found. his performance skills were assessed as being 0.1% which she described as extremely low, his verbal skills assessed below average at 14% with 25-75 being average. she noted extreme anxiety from our son in the form of a fixed smile that we have been saying for a long time hides a multitude. not bad considering the reports from school stated he shows NO signs of anxiety!! the educational physcologist has put loads of recommendations in place for him to help him learn and reduce anxiety. she has also concluded that she feels he shows many of the charactoristics associated with asperger syndrome. well what a fight we have had!! i have posted this as i know many of you have children that are passive and try to fit in which in turn leaves them suffering extreme anxiety in school and them lashing out at home where they feel they can. for some reason schools choose not to listen to parents and our kids go on suffering. do not give up!! if you think your child is suffering and you are certain something isnt right, then fight. we are living proof that not listening to the school and seeking the dx ourselves is going to make sure he gets the help he deserves. SCHOOLS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!! LISTEN TO YOUR HEART!!!KEEP FIGHTING!!! i really hope this helps someone!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted January 23, 2006 darky <'> <'> <'> Well done for having the courage and determination to keep fighting. Lets hope the school now take on board these recommendations. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Wow! well done for standing your ground. One question - What did the school say? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darky Report post Posted January 23, 2006 thanks guys! well the school still carry on blind, the senco even tried to stop the educational pyscologist going in, she rang her and told her that C was fine and an assessment wasnt required!! im actualy going to pull him out the school once i have his dx written and on paper, that is on 13th feb. i am still going to fight the school as thats 2 of my kids they have let down now. my daughter is already out the school and doing well. i cant wait to speak to the senco, who always looks at me as if im an insect that needs squashing, im looking forward to the face that looks like a dried up prune!! hehe!! oh and of course the gloating!! i was right!! but isnt it a shame, when schools are supposed to listen to us parents, but seem never to take on board our concerns or opinions. well thats before they met me, now im going to insure that the school DO take on board their responsabilitys to make sure this dont happen again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Wow Darky - you're brilliant - well done for sticking to your guns. I've nothing but admiration for parents on this site. I'm really lucky cos my LEA has given me everything on a silver platter really (something I didn't realise until I read this site) but I would certainly take strength from the inspirational stories on this website if I ever do need to go into battle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted January 23, 2006 the school still carry on blind, the senco even tried to stop the educational pyscologist going in, she rang her and told her that C was fine and an assessment wasnt required!! Unbelievable! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sarahjane Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Hi, that was very nice and encouraging to read from my point of view as we are in a similar situation with my son. he has a diagnosis of aspergers but the school have refused to see any of the problems and don't really beleive it! He also had an ot assessment which put him below the last 1% for motor skills, and had seen SALT. we are now awaiting a full educational asssessment by ed psyc as he also is failing to read and write- the school do admit a problem there1 i have been quite anxious about what the result maybe but I hope the truth comes out like in your case. i know it is not nice to hear a whole catalogue of problems but at least you know you were right and maybe approprate help can be sought. Well done for sticking at it. i then have to deceide wether to kee him at that school or not. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
helenl53 Report post Posted January 23, 2006 (edited) Well my little pal Darky - well done honey bunny for persevering - you certainly do know your kids. Guys, I know that Darky has had a tough struggle with the Senco from Hell - she is pure poision and she did the same to my boy, who subsequently obtained the DX and is statemented - but I had to get him out of the school because of abusive situations (teachers and kids) which resulted in serious mental health issues. I know how difficult this woman is with parents and has this way of looking at you and thinking that you should have been sterilzed before you had a chance to give birth to these horrible kids. There is another child in the school who is similar to Darkys little lad and he is being assaulted by another pupil - mum took it up with SENCO who said - "well he didn't tell us so he obviously has other priorities!!!" Sorry Darky - not meaning to hijack your thread but kids like Darkys little boy who are passive are at the mercy of SENCOS like the one at his school. I am so so so so so so so proud of Darky - I know there have been times when she has lost her confidence Go Darky, Go Darky, Go Darky Love HelenL Edited January 23, 2006 by helenl53 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darky Report post Posted January 23, 2006 awwwwwwww Helen thankyou sooooo much!!! i couldnt have done it with out my little gobby freind!! you have been a true inspiration to me and there have been times when i have been close to being beaten into submission by the evil one lol, but you kept me going!! now its not good enough that my son has had his difficulties recognised, now im going further to make sure either this evil person takes early retirement or gets demoted to toilet cleaner, i would prefer the first option as this woman isnt even good enough to clean up my kids s*** let alone be in charge of sen, in my honest opinion it gets better helen the stuff i have in writing, i have checked and the sly one has contradicted herself BIG time hehehehehehe!! whooohoooooo i feel ever so euphoric is that wrong???? lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Well Done Darky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
helenl53 Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Allow yourself to be euphoric - but still keep lining up your ducks. Remember copy everyone in. I will be a little less under pressure in about a week and a half and we will do some letters. Love Small quiet person Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darky Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Allow yourself to be euphoric - but still keep lining up your ducks. Remember copy everyone in. I will be a little less under pressure in about a week and a half and we will do some letters. Love Small quiet person Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Darky Well done girl. You done good by your little man. When the moment comes to cut yourself off from this school I know you'll do it with dignity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted January 23, 2006 tSCHOOLS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!! LISTEN TO YOUR HEART!!!KEEP FIGHTING!!! Amen to that. Well done! Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted January 23, 2006 <'> <'> THANKS for the encouragement i too am in that position at present with my son and how he is in school/out of school i will keep on because i know in my heart there is something wrong and it isnt going to go away Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted January 24, 2006 Darky, Well done . You've achieved so much in the face of incredible opposition. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressedmumto2 Report post Posted January 24, 2006 Draky, well done for being able to get the help and support you son will need and for fighting the system <'> and winning <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica's_mum Report post Posted January 24, 2006 Darky well done for your persistance and for the strength to stand up when so many said there was nothing wrong and you knew you were right...you are an inspiration <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
