madmooch Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Weve been having problems with H for a few weeks now but this afternoon he came in from school saw the cat and screamed because he couldn't get her, so i struggled to drag him kicking and screaming into the living room and i then turned my back to lock the living room door, whilst my back was turned he jumped on top of my daughter and bit her really bad on the side of her face While i was comforting her he was running around screaming and got out the back door into the garden and was lying on the grass kicking and screaming, he then came back in and tried to get his sister again while i was holding her So my daughter has gone to stay with her grandma for a while I feel useless, I cant always protect her and i cant stop H from hurting her She's supposed to be at a SS nursery tomorrow and I have a review meeting at the nursery to see how she's doing, I'm scared to tell them whats happened as it probably get back to SS and i'm frightened they will take either H or my daughter off us H is under a clinical psych but she's nowhere near dealing with his behaviour yet, I'ts all about H's birth, how I felt about him being ASD etc. I feel so torn between them Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 25, 2006 <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Can't think what to say to help - just wanted to give you some hugs <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jayjay Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Im so sorry you are feeling like this hopefully someone will come along with some good advice for you soon <'> <'> jayne xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressedmumto2 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Sorry to hear that things aren't going to well. I think you should tell s/s what has happened and I know it's scary to do it as they do try to dig their heels in but by saying about it you could also ask them how they are going to support you. My son is violent to me and his younger sis and they are well aware of this, i've actually got to the point of asking them to take him away and they said if I really wanted it to go through they would place him with family. Basically somuch stuff has happened and i'm begining to realise that they can do hardly nothing at all, try not to worry. Sorry i've not been much help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Thanks all, I have mentioned it to SS before and asked for respite but the SW said that i would have to have a core assesment and if they found that C was at risk from H they would take action and remove one of them and put one of them in care Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
neda Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Not quite sure how that would benefit anyone. Loads of these <'> <'> <'> to you. I'm not surprised of your resistance to notify them. Can social worker actually do this? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted January 25, 2006 (edited) Clare, kids fight, some more than most. Mine still occasionally bite each other and used to do it a lot, but if any social worker even attempted to take my child off me for that reason they'd have a fight on their hands. Respite is few and far between up here unless a child has a life threatening illness etc unfortunately. Hope everthing goes well tomorrow Edited January 25, 2006 by lil_me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OPooh Report post Posted January 25, 2006 SS are usually there to help and don't tend to split families up...they can't help what they don't know about. Mention it to the clinical psychologist too....say you feel that the behaviour needs working on and that would help you to relax if you knew what to do in this situations. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Thanks, I tried to get hold of the clinical psych but she's off with the flu I'm not sure whether the SS can take either of them of me but thats what i was told It's just the constant pulling C's hair and biting, i'm worried what effect it's having on her Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted January 25, 2006 (edited) It costs a huge amount of money to place a child in care, aswell as the psychological impacts etc so it is very rare unless they feel there is no other alternative. I undertand your concern, I am the same with my 2, feel like a referee more of the time than a parent. Edited January 25, 2006 by lil_me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Still makes you feel a bit uneasy though Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted January 25, 2006 (edited) Of course, I used to feel the same every time I visited a consultant, psychologist or any other medical proffesional with my sons, I was too scared to say how bad it really was as they have a legal obilgation t report any concerns of a child at risk. Then the lovely Doctor we see at CAHMS said to me 'Look you are doing an amazing job, dealing with problems many parents don't, all children fight, don't feel guilty as long as you are trying you best'. Was about the best thing someone could have said to me, I will never forget it. Edited January 25, 2006 by lil_me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted January 25, 2006 I suppose i'm just a worrit Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressedmumto2 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Social workers cannot do this unless they think the child is very much at risk. I have known poeple in my life who really shouldn't have their children living with them and social workers know what is going on and they can't really do anything as they don't have many poeple who will foster. Recently I asked them about putting my son into care I feel bad about it but my situation was so bad and I couldn't cope I told them this they told me first they would look to family but it's not very often they will put a child into care, they want to keep the children with their families. Say that you want your children to remain with you but you need help and you need it now. Keep fighting them by what they have said to you is a way of you backing of so they don't need to help you and get funding for help for you and your family. If they seriously thought that your children were at risk then it would be their job now to be looking into it. It may even be a good idea to get some legal advice. Hope it all goes well tomorrow, good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Thanks Stressedmum, That puts my mind at rest Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlp Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Some good advice there - I haven't anything useful myself by wanted to send a <'> as it sounds so stressful. Mine fight too and ds#1 recently made ds#2s nose bleed, followed by ds#2 throwing something in retaliation and blacking ds#1s eye - all you can do is your best. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted January 25, 2006 What annoys me the most is when these things are said to parents to put them off attempting to access further services, which I have seen happen before. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted January 26, 2006 Been off line all day and hopefully you will be in bed now - but I will ring you tomorrow as soon as I can - I have a meeting tomorrow am but will ring asap. You are not the problem here the Services Providers are <'> Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted January 26, 2006 Well H got in from school today and has been totally calm, my daughter is over her Grandma's so I'm wondering if it's my daughter thats triggering him off she is very 'in yer face' and maybe H cannot cope with her But if it is that i cant do anything about it Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
microsoft_admin Report post Posted January 27, 2006 always feel like that 24/7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Dont you like your siblings then? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
microsoft_admin Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Dont you like your siblings then? wmpl i dont have any Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
