Viper Report post Posted February 3, 2006 I am waiting for my Hubby to get back from his latest trip to France. He rung me to say he has done a bit of shopping and bought me some prawns and a crab (ok most men buy flowers or chocs but I get seafood, I do have a bit of a passion for it) The thing is, he said, as he put the crab on the conveyer belt it started to move. I can't eat a live crab, it's just not right, I told him to take it back but he said, we just have to bung it in boiling water and it will be fine. There is no way I could do that. Good job we live by the sea. Operation Crab liberation coming up. Watch this space. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Quick - go down to the fishmongers and buy one, and you can do a substitution after performing "Operation Crab Rescue" - he'll be none the wiser. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted February 3, 2006 When I was a kid my Uncle used to regularly get live crabs from the fish quay and he would hang them up in the coal shed still wriggling - used to be a right battle getting the coal for his mam's fire with all them crabs a clicking and a clacking I can tell you ..... ..... no wonder I'm vegetarian Daisy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Look, if you feel squeemish about it, why not put it in a pan of cold water and bring it up to the boil slowly?? It'll be WAYYYY over cooked, but I heard somewhere that with a gradual increase in temperature like that the immersed creature (I think it was a human in this book I read - Stephen King or someone) would pass out long before it got really uncomfortable... Sorry? i've made it worse? How? HOW?...... L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted February 3, 2006 It's here, all 8 inches of it, it's a monster. Ben and my DD have called it Mr Crabs and the dog wants to play with it. Even hubby can't cook it, we are taking it to the sea. Will it be ok to let it go in the channel? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted February 3, 2006 It might take it a long time to get home! Perhaps it will break the crab world record for crossing it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Even hubby can't cook it, we are taking it to the sea. Will it be ok to let it go in the channel? I expect so, as long as you first teach it the English for "Excuse - moi. Je suis perdu. Ou est la France s'il vous plait?" so that it can ask a passing squid the way home. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted February 3, 2006 It's just sitting there in its bucket blowing bubbles. Obviously not with a wand and bubble mixture, it is in a bit of water. I don't think it likes its prawns cooked though cos he aint eating them. Why do things like this always happen to me? I will never be able to eat crab again thats for sure. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Operation liberation is complete. The whole family, six of us trooped down to the beach and put him on the pebbles. He just sat there until the sea washed over him. Not sure if he will survive but we did the right thing and we can sleep easy in our beds tonight. Long live mister crabs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Hope he makes it to the Crusty Crab for a Crabby Patty! All together now.... "who lives in a pineapple under the sea"? think I've lost the plot. Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted February 3, 2006 mmmmmmmmm.....David Hasslehoff as a motor boat ...... I wonder what that rides like? OOOPs...... here come the moderators I'm outta here! Daisy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Didn't know you had a plot to lose Brook. "Spongebob squarepants" or as they say in France "Bob le ponge" My plot was never present either. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Long live mister crabs. "Hero in a half shell".... Oh no, that's turtles, isn't it!! In about ten years time Britain will be over-run with Gallic 'monster' crabs that have been introduced and wiped out all of the native crab population Bit like the american grey squirrel thing - and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!!! Wouldn't eat its shrimp? Shrimp have feelings too, you know! Personally, I'm a member of S.L.O.P. (Save Lot's Of Plankton) and we're currently campaigning for a humane culling of all Plankton eating whales, basking sharks and Chihuahua's - no the latter don't eat plankton but they are very ugly and annoying... sorry? Really.... that time already? two today, you think? O.K. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sue1957 Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Operation liberation is complete. The whole family, six of us trooped down to the beach and put him on the pebbles. He just sat there until the sea washed over him. Not sure if he will survive but we did the right thing and we can sleep easy in our beds tonight. Long live mister crabs. Such an unshellfish family Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted February 3, 2006 BD you just want Mr Crabs secret crabby patty recipe, your plankton in disguise aren't you, go on admit it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Hope your bucket did not have tap water in it or it will be a goner now for sure. Tap water poisons there system. Carole Married to a fisherman for 19 years And the only thing that I miss about him is the fresh fish and crabs - which are meant to be dead when you cook em and you kill em by putting then in fresh water. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted February 3, 2006 A bit late, but what the heck... The reason you don't put crabs (or lobsters) into boiling water is that the air escaping from under the shell sounds like screaming Not the worst food sound though, making apple juice using an apple press sound exactly like a bucketful of kittens being slowly crushed to death Enjoy the croissants nemo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted February 3, 2006 .....Viper what a brill story laughed me socks off Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Not the worst food sound though, making apple juice using an apple press sound exactly like a bucketful of kittens being slowly crushed to death Enjoy the croissants nemo Strangely, if you crush a bucket of kittens they sound nothing like an apple juice press. They just go all limp and stop working... Yours Sincerely Herman Munster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Strangely, if you crush a bucket of kittens they sound nothing like an apple juice press. They just go all limp and stop working... Yours Sincerely Herman Munster Warning to all - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!!! You lot are horrible, you really are. K Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Warning to all - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!!! You lot are horrible, you really are. K Yes - seriously: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME. It took me hours to scrub the blood off the apple press and fur kept turning up in the oddest places for days... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted February 3, 2006 AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!.......... , I,m gonnabe ick Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted February 3, 2006 I,m gonnabe ick Not as sick as I felt when I watched the news earlier this week and saw two guys in Brazil fish what they thought was a sack full of kitten out of a river only to find it was a baby Anyone see that? Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Yeah I did, ...........poor little baby.There is currently a bidding war going on between rich Brazilian families trying to adopt her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted February 3, 2006 There is currently a bidding war going on between rich Brazilian families trying to adopt her. Oh no - that's almost as bad as her being dumped in the River Hope that she does find someone to love her. Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted February 3, 2006 Warning to all - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!!! Erm...does this mean I can try it somewhere other than home, where would you suggest? (Thought the baby thing was pretty awful) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted February 3, 2006 My grandmother bought a crab fresh off the boat when she lived in Bognor. Tried to dismember it when she got it home and was having a bit of a job, when it started moving! She didn't realise she had to cook it first! Quite how she thought they'd cooked them on the fishing boat I don't know! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted February 3, 2006 I wonder if he's nearly home yet. I might give Squidward a ring. Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 4, 2006 I might give Squidward a ring. Brook Squid? A Ring? ... In breadcrumbs?? mmmmmmmmmmm Calamari: Yum Yum!! Now if only i had a bit of crabmeat to go with that it would be Fruits de Mer starters for tonight Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 4, 2006 Ooh I love seafood, shellfish especially - having grown up in a landlocked country where it was impossible to get. If this thread hasn't put you off seafood - or eating altogether here's my favourite, quick easy recipe for seafood spag - A pack of ready to eat seafood cocktail selection(calamari, prawns, mussels: available from most supermarkets) Tub of fresh neapolitan sauce - or your favourite brand of any other tomato based pasta sauce. Handful of fesh parsley - chopped Juice of a lemon Combine all ingredients and serve with your favourite pasta, a lemon wedge and extra parsley on top. YUM!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 4, 2006 Do you know what i love most about seafood? The way it makes your face puff up and go blotchy and your eyes stream and... I have an intolerance rather than out and out allergy, and i know I'm lucky but it sometimes seems like a curse; 'cos i love prawns (Prawn Puri starter OMG )... I have to stop at just the right time or , and just the right time is always WAYYYYYYYYYYYY too soon. If i had the 'proper' allergy I wouldn't be tempted, would I? Scallops, pan fried in heavily peppered butter for about a minute and a half... Ogh, godoohgodohgodohgod... bd Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 4, 2006 I once had an unfortunate experience with an oyster Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 4, 2006 Do you know what i love most about seafood? The way it makes your face puff up and go blotchy and your eyes stream and... I have an intolerance rather than out and out allergy, and i know I'm lucky but it sometimes seems like a curse; 'cos i love prawns (Prawn Puri starter OMG )... I have to stop at just the right time or , and just the right time is always WAYYYYYYYYYYYY too soon. If i had the 'proper' allergy I wouldn't be tempted, would I? Scallops, pan fried in heavily peppered butter for about a minute and a half... Ogh, godoohgodohgodohgod... bd As someone who would live entirely on seafood if given the choice (I must have been a squid in a previous life) I can't imagine a worse affliction BD. My heart weeps for you. K Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted February 4, 2006 i love prawns with loads of seafood sauce,best food ever,cant stand any other seafood,mussels,welks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 4, 2006 I once had an unfortunate experience with an oyster Bid I once had an unfortunate incident with a dozen of them... Only the first seven worked Sorry - must have done that joke at least 6 times in the past two years, and it's not all that funny to begin with! A childhood memory - Occassionally the fresh fish van would brave it's way round the estate i grew up on (didn't park for too long in case his tyres got nicked!).. My mum would despatch one of us kids to fetch her a pint of winkles, which she'd spend the next two hours liberating with a hat pin. Painstakingly she would construct a single winkle and vinegar sandwich, which she would consume with all the gusto and theatrics of a gormand consuming a saddle of wild venison with truffles and celariac... We kids would look on in disgust... Mum, I hope they do winkle sandwiches up there <'> L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 4, 2006 It was at a hugely posh (and famous) restaurant in the Eighties just when Novelle Cuisine was at it's height... Shudder! Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 4, 2006 Oh wow!! Did you actually Chunda in the restaurant??? WAY cool Nouvelle Cuisine = Emporer's new clothes... What's the point of eating out and then going home to make a fried egg sandwich? Sort of defeats the object, doesn't it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted February 4, 2006 baddad,thats not the only joke youve done at least 6 times in the past 2 years,we will let you off though cos its the way you tell em as frank carson would say(i think its him anyway!!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 4, 2006 No I did not chunder in the restaurant!! I was being taken out by the then boyfriend's family for extremely posh (and, let's face it, small) meal!) I made the mistake of chewing the bl**dy thing for a start, and the rest happened later! Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted February 4, 2006 WHAT happened later bid?come on,you cant just tell half a story,thats cruel! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
